Blood boiling with rage. Never thought I had it in me.

[VarunParticipant 2981]

I think we as men need to conquer “rage”.

The typical type of rage that you get when you see ‘your wife f~~~ing another men right in front of your eyes’ <- that is a primal instinct. We must try to get over it.

The only way to practice it is to curb our sensitice and emotional side.. whatever’s left of it anyway, so that we don’t ‘feel’ for people who are close to us. It all sounds like a bad thing, but its important to get rid of rage.

So you can either be a ‘good man but angry man’ or an ‘insensitive bastard but a no-f~~~s-given type’. The choice is up to you. Both have their upsides and downsides.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

[RusskyParticipant 13503]

Varun wrote:

The only way to practice it is to curb our sensitice and emotional side.. whatever’s left of it anyway, so that we don’t ‘feel’ for people who are close to us. It all sounds like a bad thing, but its important to get rid of rage.

I think the best way to tackle this primal instinct – is to realize that jealousy is pride. And an intelligent person can override his pride at times when to act on it would be to your own detriment.
Once you think of jealousy as pride – it’s much easier to disarm it

proud carrier of the 'why?' chromosome

[chirParticipant]

Russky,
What you experienced was an “adrenaline dump”. Happens in times of great stress. You feel floaty, your senses are hyper acute, people seem to move a little slower than you because your reaction time has shot up.
I studied karate, kempo and judo early in life. Saw “Enter the dragon” when I was 10 and went martial arts gag-ga. Now, I still use it for exercise.
When I was in my teens I was already 7 years into karate, kempo and Judo but I had no formal instruction other than a lot of books, some friends who we tried out stuff on each other and the determination (and stupidity) of youth. Well, we all popped and threw each other around and had a s~~~ load of fun. We also toughened ourselves up. Muscle memory is an awesome thing.
My first “real” fight occurred in high school when a thug-boy was looking to establish dominance over me. He threw a jab and my muscle memory kicked in and did a Hiki Uke on the jab, took a short step closer to him, drove a short jab into his solar plexus and then let the arm swing up for a jab uppercut. Dropped like a sack of s~~~. I was jumped up on adrenaline and stepped over him while he was gasping for air. Last fight in high school.
Of course the adrenaline crash is a f~~~er to deal with, you get the shakes and feel like you are coming off of a high. Its different than runner’s endorphine high.
Just be glad you had the self control to pull yourself back from “blind rage” with adrenaline dump. Not easy to do.

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion, it is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning; it is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

[RhinoParticipant 3477]

chir wrote:

Of course the adrenaline crash is a f~~~er to deal with, you get the shakes and feel like you are coming off of a high. Its different than runner’s endorphine high.

The adrenaline crash you feel after a fight is actually shock, like when your body has a injury. I grew up in a rough neighborhood and I was always fighting someone to protect my brother or a girl I was seeing. I have had so many stitches I lost count but never a broken bone in my body. Been hit with wooden objects like bats, got knifed once, and had a gun pulled on me which I had to fight the guy for before getting shot. When you are really fighting for your life the experience is vastly different and I have respect for people in military who have gone through this experience it changes you. So I can say with some street experience be careful the world has changed it wasn’t like in the 80’s and 90’s where a fist fight ended most disputes now punks run around with knives and guns and have no respect for life they will take it and laugh while doing it.

I had a friend who hit and ran someone with his car and put this guy who was riding his bike on the road in the hospital for 10 months and there was no damage to his car and the police questioned him but they couldn’t pin anything on him. This f~~~er laughed that he got away, and was happy that he hit the guy and enjoyed it, and his other friend who I hardly knew who was in the car with him was laughing his ass off too. That night we went two hours to an October fest party and got a hotel room to crash. I was his ride and I f~~~ing left him there that night to find his way home and never seen him again. Piece of s~~~ like that deserved everything he got from me I just wished I told the cops but I was young and dumb back then I didn’t want to get involved with all that.

[VarunParticipant 2981]

chir wrote:

Russky,
What you experienced was an “adrenaline dump”. Happens in times of great stress. You feel floaty, your senses are hyper acute, people seem to move a little slower than you because your reaction time has shot up.
I studied karate, kempo and judo early in life. Saw “Enter the dragon” when I was 10 and went martial arts gag-ga. Now, I still use it for exercise.
When I was in my teens I was already 7 years into karate, kempo and Judo but I had no formal instruction other than a lot of books, some friends who we tried out stuff on each other and the determination (and stupidity) of youth. Well, we all popped and threw each other around and had a s~~~ load of fun. We also toughened ourselves up. Muscle memory is an awesome thing.
My first “real” fight occurred in high school when a thug-boy was looking to establish dominance over me. He threw a jab and my muscle memory kicked in and did a Hiki Uke on the jab, took a short step closer to him, drove a short jab into his solar plexus and then let the arm swing up for a jab uppercut. Dropped like a sack of s~~~. I was jumped up on adrenaline and stepped over him while he was gasping for air. Last fight in high school.
Of course the adrenaline crash is a f~~~er to deal with, you get the shakes and feel like you are coming off of a high. Its different than runner’s endorphine high.
Just be glad you had the self control to pull yourself back from “blind rage” with adrenaline dump. Not easy to do.

Hmm… martial arts can teach teach people to control their rage. That’s a common irony over here; people take up martial arts to ‘win if they ever get into a fight’ but if they do manage to stick to it for a few years, they transform into some of the word’s calmest souls.

Martial arts is more about self-control than it is about victory-defeat etc. I think I would take up martia arts some day in the future.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

[narwhalParticipant]

Yes, I’ve been there. I am not a violent person either, but I certainly could be rather destructive when in that state.

A few things I’ve learned over my years in this area:
– Be aware of what you’re actually upset about. It’s often easy to take out your frustration on the nearest person or thing. Often, it’s your kids and they don’t deserve that.
– Use that rage/energy to make some sort of positive change. That could be a trip to they gym or even just making a commitment to make some sort of positive change in yourself.
– If at all possible, don’t engage anyone while you’re angry. Step away, and address the issue when you can do so calmly. For one thing, if you’re dealing with a woman, it will really p~~~ them off. As has been said, they want you to react to them. They want to see your rage. It makes them feel wanted, and it masks their own failings because they can focus on yours.

The best example I had was once after divorce, my ex called me up wanting something for the kids (I forget what it was about). I disagreed, and she got mad at me, which raised my anger. I told her I wasn’t going to talk to her about it right now, call me back when she can discuss this rationally, then hung up. She called back extremely p~~~ed, but with a rational solution to the problem that I could easily accept. I was happy and satisfied, while she was upset that I wouldn’t engage her, and frustrated with herself for losing it while I remained calm.

If you catch a woman cheating on you, reacting in rage is only going to make you look bad and partially mask her evilness. Instead if you can calm say (now or later) “I know see what kind of person you are. I don’t want to see you again”, there is nothing there but her infidelity and she has no choice but to deal with that. That is much worse then anything you could do to her, and there is no white knight that can save her from her own guilt.

Ok. Then do it.

[Anonymous 11]

Varun wrote:

I think we as men need to conquer “rage”.

Absolutely! The best thing that ever happened to me was conquering my rage. People use it control us, and it has landed many a man in prison. My final relationship ever with that borderline had her mad at me, because I was not angry.

As a teen and boy, I never started fights but finished them. My father taught me both how to box and grapple plus I’m both big and fast so any bullies were efficiently dispatched w/o harming them. There’s nothing like having a middle school bully pinned in a submission hold in front of the popular crowd.

[OldBillParticipant]

chir wrote:

What you experienced was an “adrenaline dump”. Happens in times of great stress.

Got it in one.

Not to go into too many details but during the experience I wrote about, I out-sprinted men half my age, cleared a ~8 foot cinderblock wall, had a boot heel shot/torn away, tore my ACUs in several pieces, and received a gash in my left thigh all without remembering any of it.

My memories are limited to becoming extremely angry, the visual effects I mentioned, “moving to contact” to “take care of business”, and the looks on the faces of my targets when, from their viewpoint, I suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

We’d been half-assed taught a few of the adrenaline control methods you mentioned, but nothing that would really help. For about a half hour after the incident, I felt like I was vibrating. After that, I was pale, clammy, nauseous, and obviously in shock.

Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.

[alchemistParticipant 484]

Russky wrote:

Guys, have you ever had your blood boiling with rage?

Yes. The depths of my anger have been … f~~~ing deep. However, it only seems to happen around total arseholes who push me to breaking point.

Russky wrote:

Never go ballistic guys. It’s not worth it.
And I don’t think I will ever knowingly f~~~ someone’s wife. Never done it and never will. Can’t do it. Call me old-fashioned. When something f~~~ed up happens to you – you don’t want it to happen to anyone else. Or maybe I just want to have this little piece of integrity to keep my mind straight.

That is some hugely important advice.
Let your anger inform you, let it shape neural pathways, let it be that which separates us from the blue pill men. But don’t give them cannon fodder to use against you.

[alchemistParticipant 484]

Varun wrote:

its important to get rid of rage.

BULL. S~~~.
Conquering rage and getting rid of rage are two very different things.
It’s important to not lash out randomly, don’t let your rage be like sunlight, shining on everything around you indiscriminately, instead let it be like a laser, pinpoint precise. Calm, directed, controlled- but burning with the heat of the sun.
Rage is your defense against tyranny.

[Anonymous 5]

I lost my s~~~ in the same way – at the time when I caught an old girl of mine cheating on me I appoarched the guy and gave him a word. But that was similar to your experience represented- I found after later years reflecting on myself as a total physco for some of things I said. It’s never a good idea to loose your cool and reading your words has helped me take that in again – and as for the mangina in your tale. Well let’s say his day’s of Lala land are coming to an end.

[Author]

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