Being a dad

[Gravel PitParticipant]

Oh I must have confused you with the other guy. my bad. he has Guy in his name. Hadnt seen him around in a minute

[CuckSniperParticipant 449]

Sometimes I get those urges too. Then I come here to threads like this to remind myself how miserable I would be if I had a kid.

[ZarathustraParticipant 2246]

I think timing and age are everything with parenthood. Coincidentally enough I had a pregnancy scare with a GF when I was your age. She aborted and didn’t tell me and I was crushed. I was crushed because for me that was the window closing. I am now 43 and will be semi-retired in the next 10 years, just working because I want to and to have a little extra money for fun. Why would I now, at this age, become a parent? Even if everything went my way, I had a perfect wife, stayed married, didn’t pay alimony, I wold be collecting social security by the time the kid hit University and would likely be working until death. Why would I want that?

You start early and you still have time to save for retirement, pay for the kid, the wife etc…

Now that I am on the other side of 35 I am glad I didn’t have that kid because there are so many other golden moments on the horizon for me I would have missed, I.E retiring early.

I also think back to when I was 20 and got dumped by my college girlfriend who 10 years later said she wished she would not have dumped me and that we had married and had kids together. If that had happened I would have kids out of University a paid for mortgage etc… (assuming I won the marital lottery and didn’t get divorced raped.)

In conclusion I think fatherhood has many rewards but also has many risks in this day and age. The older you get the more the risks outweigh the rewards. I think you are right on that edge where if you waited any later to have kids the risks would just be too great. Maybe the risks are always too great, its a hard calculation to make, but without question you will be making a losing bet if you have kids much later.

Since you are so close to that point my gut says don’t do it.

[narwhalParticipant]

I don’t believe wanting to be a father is ‘blue pill programming’. It’s quite natural and can be enriching to a lot of men. Modern society has totally screwed it up.

I enjoy being a father. I really do. My youngest is 12 and I’m not looking forward to the day she becomes an adult. That said, I am also glad I’m not a Dad 24/7. Or more accurately, I don’t have to play the mother role 24/7. Playing the fatherly role of being a role model, spending time with them, talking about morals and principles…it’s great. It’s great watching them start to make choices for themselves. I also enjoy my weekends without kids just as much as my weekends with the kids.

As far as whether men have any rights with kids these days, a lot of that is going to depend on mom. Maybe I’m lucky in that I don’t have many issues with her, certainly less than I did when we were married. Yes, the kids cost money, but much less than if I was still married. I have a pretty solid job and don’t really regret the expenses much.

All that said, I’m not going to recommend having kids to anyone. I can’t tell someone that you can control the outcome if you play it smart, because you can’t. It’s a significant risk that you have to accept. I’m not going to recommend a man adopt a child on his own as that isn’t exactly the best answer either. 2 men adopting a kid doesn’t sound great either. I don’t have a good answer.

Ok. Then do it.

[HermitParticipant]

Zarathustra wrote:

I think timing and age are everything with parenthood.

That’s absolutely true in my case anyway. I was 28 when my son was born. Any older and I don’t believe things would have worked out as well as they have. My dad was still young enough to be able to have a lot of fun with his grandson and now I think it’s pretty cool that 3 generations of “Hermit” men can spend time together every now and then.

I don’t really consider myself the “dad type”, but like I said earlier, I am a dad and it’s good. It’s an indescribable feeling when you first hold your newborn son in your arms. I’ll never forget it. Many moments like that have followed as he grows older. I don’t deserve to have a wonderful son like him.

The evil in women’s hearts leaves them no moral bounds as to inhibit them from descending to the lowest levels of darkness to acquire their self entitled desires.

[Puffin StuffParticipant 24979]

I wasted 14 years of my life in a custody fight and then my son decided to move to his moms, f~~~ you very much.

#icethemout; Remember Thomas Ball. He died for your children.

[ScarberianMPTGLParticipant 3286]

I know someone who had a kid then because his girlfriend at the time was mentally disabled and he was on ODSP(Ontario Disability Support Program, it’s like welfare but only if you’re handicapped in some way and you can’t work) they took the kid away and placed him in Children’s Aid.

I, Lelouch Vi Britannia, command you, all of you, to Go Your Own Way!!

[GeraldParticipant 3628]

I will add one more thing.

Betrayed by my wife, and my daughter on my side, I thought it would be that way long term and even though she was an adult and moves out, things would be good.

Nope. She is a manipulative bitch like her mother, bipolar as hell and this week has proven that AWALT… with her to, even towards her father. I am just an ATM.

No longer can we walk away, we must run. Remove the motive power.

[HermitParticipant]

Gerald wrote:

I will add one more thing.
Betrayed by my wife, and my daughter on my side, I thought it would be that way long term and even though she was an adult and moves out, things would be good.
Nope. She is a manipulative bitch like her mother, bipolar as hell and this week has proven that AWALT… with her to, even towards her father. I am just an ATM.

I have no idea what it’d be like to have a daughter, but I am very glad that I had a son instead. I don’t think I could’ve handled a daughter.

The evil in women’s hearts leaves them no moral bounds as to inhibit them from descending to the lowest levels of darkness to acquire their self entitled desires.

[LionOnTheLooseParticipant 1315]

Wow, amazing thread guys, thanks so much for all the replies. It’s given me a lot to digest.

There are definitely a lot of bad reasons to have children: some people do it out of narcissism (“I want a bit of me to survive”), some because they think it’ll basically be a laugh (when clearly it is a life-changing duty), some out of a sense of “obligation”/society expects it, some just because they get pressurised or tricked by a woman. I think a lot of people I know do it for these reasons, so it’s refreshing that no-one here has really proposed them.

I think there are still perhaps two good reasons to be a parent which come out of the discussion: that it can just be rewarding (albeit hard work) to raise someone, and that you might have a good long-term relationship with your children once they’re adults, possibly with them looking out for you in your old age. Some of you have had good experiences in this respect but clearly a lot of you haven’t and are glad (or will be glad) to see the backs of the little s~~~s lol. Plus, there is not only the risk that you won’t have these benefits, but there are all the other risks in dealing with the mothers. But everyone’s appetite for risk is different, I guess, and maybe some MGTOWs might take the risk because they think the reward is worth it, just as some will drive motorbikes and others won’t.

Not sure what I think about the “everything is going to s~~~ so why bring someone into it” argument. I get what you’re saying, but if life today really is that s~~~, why do you go on living yourself?

I’m still thinking I’ll stick with the “fun uncle” role.

There aren't holes in your pockets. It's called marriage.

[NoLongerBlindParticipant 530]

I’m nearly 44…and when it comes to having kids…F~~~ THAT S~~~…why? So yo can live to see the day they RESENT YOU????? JUST LIKE THER MOTHER ALREADY DOES!!!!! AND THIS WILL HAPPEN!!!! Once she has those “bundles of joy” YOU END UP SECOND PLACE!!! DONT YOU DADDY’S KNOW THIS YET!!!! They are her PRIMARY source of supply…and YOU ARE NOT! ONCE THE CHILD COMES…THE REAL PROBLEMS BEGIN WITH HER!!!!

I have 3 nieces…one 20…one 16…one 13…I love them dearly…But I’m seeing them become AWALTS…like their NARCISSIST MOTHER (my narcissist sister)

I love being uncle “NOLONGERBLIND!!!”
The fun…unpredictable…NAUGHTY UNCLE…and then I get to leave and go home to my own place!

[ResidentEvil7Participant 9548]

I’m not even an uncle. My older brother can’t afford it on his California life and my younger sister is more interested in a career. And of you know, I don’t want any kids. So as far as I’m concerned, I will never be a father and an uncle. Let’s keep it that way.

https://themanszone.webs.com/

[iMickey503Participant 12465]

LionOnTheLoose wrote:

It’s given me a lot to digest.

it may take a while for a lion. Up to 24 hours.

You are all alone. If you have been falsely accused of RAPE, DV, PLEASE let all men know about the people who did this. http://register-her.net/web/guest/home

[SESQUI ano estParticipant 2535]

I got four hours of sleep last night. Before I go to bed tonight I need to prepare my kids lunches so I can get one to orchestra an hour before school. Then I have to return home and get the other kid to a different school before i go to work for 11 hours. When I get home tomorrow night I will only be a few dollars more in debt than I was today. I am not likely to ever own a home again. This is what can happen when divorce doesn’t go that badly (mostly because you cater to their borderline mother).

I never wanted kids and had no desire for my own family. After being with my wife for almost 14 years we finally pulled the goalie and started a family. It turns out she just wanted to retire. Children are often only for improved optics to many women (“Look at me, I’m a mother”). If you have kids with a modern woman it will be your job to work to pay for them and it will be your job to raise them. Do not have kids past thirty unless you have mucho deneiros. I do get to see my kids almost every day because my ex isn’t able to handle them more than one day at a time. I don’t get a day off, ever. My kids are fantastic at 9 and 13. I had the “million dollar family” and I still don’t know why. Women and society cast their spells I guess. At 48 I will not be able slow down at work until i am well into my seventies at which point I will be able to start saving for retirement. I have a lot of earning potential so I may be able to accelerate my retirement to my early seventies.
If my children’s mother dies both myself and the children will be better off in the long run. Unfortunately she will outlive me despite the fact she is “ill” all the time.

I love spending time with family but unfortunately have none within a couple thousand kilometres. My children don’t know what it is like to have grandparents and there is no family inheritance coming my way to pull me out of the hole or pay for my kids university.
My kids are extraordinary and i love them dearly but….
IF I COULD GO BACK I WOULD NEVER HAVE HAD KIDS WITH THEIR MOTHER (despite the great physical genetics we passed on:)
It wasn’t worth it.

Everyday above ground is a good one. Everyday above ground while single...better still.

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

Tic wrote:

A good father is a tremendous achievement.

So what?

It’s still not worth the risk and not worth the effort, and whether or not it pays off in the end is not up to you.

I know plenty of men who regret having kids.

I don’t know a single man who regrets his vasectomy.

That should tell you everything right there.

[TicParticipant 4329]

sidecar wrote:

tic wrote:

A good father is a tremendous achievement.

So what?
It’s still not worth the risk and not worth the effort, and whether or not it pays off in the end is not up to you.
I know plenty of men who regret having kids.
I don’t know a single man who regrets his vasectomy.
That should tell you everything right there.

Wtf is so what. So don’t f~~~ing have a kid then. Lots fathers I know are proud of producing successful children. It’s their life achievement. Personally, I could care less for bringing kids into this f~~~ed up world. I made my peace with it

God bless peace and freedom.

[ChristopherParticipant 2478]

Good thread. Ill quote this piece below which im glad I read thanks SESQUI. Thats partly what makes this website so good hearing other mens perspectives based on various situations.

SESQUI ano est wrote:

I got four hours of sleep last night. Before I go to bed tonight I need to prepare my kids lunches so I can get one to orchestra an hour before school. Then I have to return home and get the other kid to a different school before i go to work for 11 hours. When I get home tomorrow night I will only be a few dollars more in debt than I was today. I am not likely to ever own a home again. This is what can happen when divorce doesn’t go that badly (mostly because you cater to their borderline mother).
I never wanted kids and had no desire for my own family. After being with my wife for almost 14 years we finally pulled the goalie and started a family. It turns out she just wanted to retire. Children are often only for improved optics to many women (“Look at me, I’m a mother”). If you have kids with a modern woman it will be your job to work to pay for them and it will be your job to raise them. Do not have kids past thirty unless you have mucho deneiros. I do get to see my kids almost every day because my ex isn’t able to handle them more than one day at a time. I don’t get a day off, ever. My kids are fantastic at 9 and 13. I had the “million dollar family” and I still don’t know why. Women and society cast their spells I guess. At 48 I will not be able slow down at work until i am well into my seventies at which point I will be able to start saving for retirement. I have a lot of earning potential so I may be able to accelerate my retirement to my early seventies.If my children’s mother dies both myself and the children will be better off in the long run. Unfortunately she will outlive me despite the fact she is “ill” all the time.
I love spending time with family but unfortunately have none within a couple thousand kilometres. My children don’t know what it is like to have grandparents and there is no family inheritance coming my way to pull me out of the hole or pay for my kids university.My kids are extraordinary and i love them dearly but….IF I COULD GO BACK I WOULD NEVER HAVE HAD KIDS WITH THEIR MOTHER (despite the great physical genetics we passed on:)It wasn’t worth it.

Feminism was funded by bankers/politicians to create more taxpayers. MGTOW IS FREEDOM https://archive.org/details/mgtowisfreedomblurayready

[MonkParticipant 16995]

Being a successful father is something to be proud of, but in a cesspit society with everything stacked against you, getting there requires nothing less than a miracle.

The risks far outweigh the potential rewards.

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

Tic wrote:

Wtf is so what.

You say being a good father is a great accomplishment.

Well so is walking on the f~~~ing moon.

That’s so what, because you can’t do that either.

You can’t be a good father because you can’t be a father at all. No man in modern western civilization can. Because they are not your children. They are never your children. All you get to be is the chump who pays the bills and hopes for a pat on the head from wifey: “Good little chump.”

Lots fathers I know are proud of producing successful children.

Are you going to tell us “happy wife happy life” next?

Again, so what? They’re not fathers. They’re just lucky wifey somehow didn’t decide to f~~~ them and their kids over while making them pay for it. But if wifey had made that choice, there’s not a f~~~ing thing they could have done about it because “tender years” and all that bulls~~~.

Proud chumps are still chumps.

[TicParticipant 4329]

sidecar wrote:

tic wrote:

Wtf is so what.

You say being a good father is a great accomplishment.
Well so is walking on the f~~~ing moon.
That’s so what, because you can’t do that either.
You can’t be a good father because you can’t be a father at all. No man in modern western civilization can. Because they are not your children. They are never your children. All you get to be is the chump who pays the bills and hopes for a pat on the head from wifey: “Good little chump.”

Lots fathers I know are proud of producing successful children.

Are you going to tell us “happy wife happy life” next?
Again, so what? They’re not fathers. They’re just lucky wifey somehow didn’t decide to f~~~ them and their kids over while making them pay for it. But if wifey had made that choice, there’s not a f~~~ing thing they could have done about it because “tender years” and all that bulls~~~.
Proud chumps are still chumps.

Wtf you talking about you stupid mother fycker. I actually agree wit you. I just responded to your so what comment. You have to he a jerk about it? You have a problem with the system and woman why you do you have to be jerk to a fellow member.

God bless peace and freedom.

[Author]

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