Anyone done a FWB? How did it work out?

[hadenough1969Participant 539]

Long time friend that lives over a 1000 miles away wants to do a trip to Cancun to spend a weekending doing FWB. She has a place down there so only expense for me is plane ticket and food. It would be several months before either of us can make any concrete plans, but I figured in the meantime I would get some feedback.

Anyone tried the FWB with anyone? How did it go? Recommendations?

I am feeling really happy with my decision to do no LTR, no co-habitation and no marriage…ever again. It is quite freeing. On the other hand, the thought of getting wild for a weekend…hmmmm

[007 (Reborn)Participant 1672]

It was a complete and utter disaster.

Always use a condom if you go down that road.
She may try to hook you into a relationship. That is why it is important to recognize red flags. Here are a few:

She wants to cuddle after sex
She tells you that she loves you
Tries to get you to buy her things
Hints at moving in with you
Tries to make you jealous
Says back handed compliments to erode your self esteem
Wants you to meet her friends/family
If she lies to you
If she can never admit that she is wrong.
If she wants to have sex without protection
If she agrees with you about everything you say
If she has is an entitled princess
If she is passive aggressive

Those are just a few off the top of my head. When you see one of these, get your luggage packed, because it can only get worse.

Friends with benefits only works in the short term. Feelings will always develop in the long term.

Pump and dump my friend…pump and dump.

Pursuing Happiness and Freedom.

[Solo MAN’S WisdomParticipant]

How old is she?? Get a vasectomy first and wear two condoms. You’re not the first FWB she’s been to Cancun with.

When women lead, destruction is the destination. -- Me.

[XSDBSParticipant 3598]

hadenough1969 wrote:

Long time friend that lives over a 1000 miles away wants to do a trip to Cancun to spend a weekending doing FWB. She has a place down there so only expense for me is plane ticket and food. It would be several months before either of us can make any concrete plans, but I figured in the meantime I would get some feedback.
Anyone tried the FWB with anyone? How did it go? Recommendations?

From my own personal experience years ago, she’s looking for someone(you) to finance her trip to Cancun.
She’ll promise to pay you back for her plane ticket, and any “outstanding fees” that are due on her condo/rental.
She will have some excuse like her “paycheck was late”.
But, she never will pay you back, because in her mind, she had sex with you, and and will consider that payment in full.
(She will also expect you to pay for meals/drinks/room service too.)

I recommend telling her “Thanks, but no thanks.”

[StargazerParticipant 12505]

All of the above… plus consider the possibility that the two of you will get down there and you’ll be thinking like you’re a couple but she’s planning to use you as a wing man and white knight while she proceeds to get drunk and flirt with every decent looking dude in sight.

I find it’s best to not go on trips with women. Sand to the beach and all that. The last time I took a woman on an outing (the Bullhead City Regatta) she was so annoying that I nearly drowned her in the river. Not worth it. Leave her at home, buy your own trip to Cancun or someplace that YOU want to go to and hang with the other people who are already there on their own dimes.

[hadenough1969Participant 539]

Good stuff gentlemen. Thank you!

[NerevarParticipant 8040]

Solo MAN’S Wisdom wrote:

How old is she?? Get a vasectomy first and wear two condoms. You’re not the first FWB she’s been to Cancun with.

Don’t wear two at the same time, the friction will cause tears. Both to the condoms and to you when she rapes you over alimony and child support.

OT: Don’t do it, it never works out. Jerk off or buy a fleshlight, way cheaper and you’re done faster.

edit: crap, read right over the word vasectomy.

"One of the best things internet exposed is just how insane women are." - Freeman_K

[RennieParticipant]

If she’s going to Cancun she is probably going there to be a drunk, a slob and a whore.

Disassociate yourself with such women.

[Anonymous 42]

My life experience is that after I f~~~ed a chick that was no challenge I dumped her ass, especially in my teens to my early 20’s. The day hour and minute I stopped treating women that way was the minute I started being manipulated and head f~~~ed by women, I went on and off with failed attempts at genuine relationships mixed with I-don’t-give-a-f~~~ f~~~s in between, some were married women, the spiral only got faster and deeper until the day I walked away never to return to the insanity.

My life has been rewarded bountifully since GMOW…

I never got my heart broken in a pump’n’dump relationship but my intellect always warned me it’s bad for my moral compass. Didn’t feel right.

Honest relationships are also out of the question as each and every attempt was met with contempt, manipulation, and frustration.

MGTOW road straight down the middle is the life I’ve come accustom to.

MGTOW: A life I’ll never leave for a wife I’ll never need.

[HitmanParticipant]

It works fine if you know when to end it.
I say f~~~ her silly.
Just be smart about it.

[FrankOneParticipant 1417]

I’m in an FWB and have been for over a year. We’re both in our 40’s and neither wants to marry. We both agree to monogamy but have no desire to live together. We typically see each other once a week for a few hours. We work well for fun times together and cook each other meals, but living together in past didn’t work for us so that is off the table for both of us.

The trip sounds fun to me, just wear protection, and discuss that you are done with LTR/marriage before making reservations so she is on the same page. It sounds like you’ve known her a long time and so know what you are getting into.

Personally I think it’s better to have a long term FWB than one night stands which are risky.

Also in an FWB you learn how to please each other.

Others may get bored with the same person so long term FWB is certainly not best for them.

Monk may be better for others.

[hadenough1969Participant 539]

Thank you for all these responses. A lot of food for thought here.

Yes, I have known her for nearly a couple decades through a lot of ups and downs. She is very recently divorced (couple months) and I am confident in her sexual history of monogamy.

She is a woman and therefore subject to all the failings and hyper gamy of the species. I have reiterated I am not every going to be a serious relationship again, no co habituating, no marriage. She gets that.

I think we are both looking around at this new world that is so much different from when we were single prior to marriage and pretty concerned about the landscape. Casual sex is risky on so many levels…you are sleeping with everyone the person slept with before you. Plus how can you trust anyone not to file false rape or assault charges if you have only known them a few hours? Like FrankOne says:

Personally I think it’s better to have a long term FWB than one night stands which are risky.

Also in an FWB you learn how to please each other.

I think that is running through both our minds. Neither of us is going to move any closer to the other, so person to person interaction would be limited to maybe every other month or so. Someone to chat with, text etc (just like we have as friends for many years) is nice at times.

FrankOne we are in our 40s as well, and would agree to monogamy with regard to partners.

I am not into “virtual” experiences like many here. Nothing against it, I participated for many years and found it to have a lot of negative consequences for me personally. Breaking free was the hardest thing I have ever done and I don’t want to go back at this point. That might change in later years, but not now.

So if one is going to be with someone from time to time, it seems logical to pair with someone I have known longer than both my marriages combined who has been solid through it all. No question there are hotter younger chics out there…but I just can’t bring myself to trust them enough to even pump and dump them.

No decisions have been made, both parties are just thinking it over at present.

I will await further comments…thank you.

[experiencedParticipant]

It’s all fun and games ’til you become interested in someone else. Then it’s “hell hath no fury as a woman scorned.”

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[Anonymous 3]

hadenough1969 wrote:

Yes, I have known her for nearly a couple decades through a lot of ups and downs. She is very recently divorced (couple months) and I am confident in her sexual history of monogamy.

She is a woman and therefore subject to all the failings and hyper gamy of the species. I have reiterated I am not every going to be a serious relationship again, no co habituating, no marriage. She gets that.

I think we are both looking around at this new world that is so much different from when we were single prior to marriage and pretty concerned about the landscape. Casual sex is risky on so many levels…you are sleeping with everyone the person slept with before you. Plus how can you trust anyone not to file false rape or assault charges if you have only known them a few hours? Like FrankOne says:

Damn, brother, I think you are vulnerable. I think you’re letting your guard down. I think you need to be honest with yourself and really rethink what is going on here.

Let me ask you a question: What is the difference between a girl that sleeps with guys on the first date and a girl that doesn’t sleep with guys on the first date? The latter girl hasn’t met that guy yet. That’s the biggest lesson I’ve learned dealing with women, an opportunist’s history doesn’t mean s~~~.

You are foolish to think knowing her for a long time is somehow going to serve as a safety net for you. You ask, how can you trust anyone to not screw you over if you have only known them a few hours? We have men here that got f~~~ed over, by women they’ve known for over 2, 3 decades. The men sure trusted these women just like you trust her right now. What makes you think your special girl is any different? Did these other guys just not picked the right one like you did?

Every man tells himself that his girl, his girlfriend, his wife, his FWB, his whatever is different, until it happens. Everything you said, is some textbook NAWALT s~~~.

[Better without YOUParticipant 234]

XSDBS wrote:

From my own personal experience years ago, she’s looking for someone(you) to finance her trip to Cancun

I agree with this.

Unless you had prior sexual relations, you are being USED.

Insist you f~~~ 3 times, no not even that 3 blow jobs before the trip FIRST to really drive home how much of a whore she really is.

As always though, I could be wrong.

[Artboy99Participant 369]

Can I ask if you have been FWB with this woman before?

If no, then clearly she is looking for something to fill the void after her recent breakup. Likely looking for more.

[hadenough1969Participant 539]

OK guys…you are all right. She is probably looking for more. This is a re-bound for her I am sure. Yeah, what do I do if something else comes along. At the end of the day, a woman is a woman is a woman. There is no way to fix it or insure against it.

So I have to keep the shields up. Can’t take the chance. I will decline the trip.

Thanks.

[MonkeyMindParticipant 5340]

experienced wrote:

It’s all fun and games ’til you become interested in someone else. Then it’s “hell hath no fury as a woman scorned.”

This.

It’s never just about sex for women. It starts out as fun, but usually gets really messy later on.

[FrankOneParticipant 1417]

hadenough1969: I didn’t realize she’s only been divorced a couple months. She’s probably still trying to figure out what she wants. A 3rd option is to go on the trip but make it platonic — no FWB right now, just say you want to give her space after the divorce. But ONLY do that if she’s FUN to be around and YOU want to go to Cancun and she doesn’t expect you to pay for her flight — I suspect this trifecta of conditions won’t be met, but I could be wrong. Is she fun and engaging in conversation, or are you used as an emotional tampon for her marital problems/divorce? Is she HAPPY single or MUST she have a man to be ‘complete’? Has she lived years on her own with no man in past?

This is also a good test to see if she pays or expects you to pay for everything and respects your independence as to what you want to do each day. Why did her marriage fail, and was the man financially raped in the divorce? Does she have young children that need a Daddy? Does she talk about money problems, or have a plan for her retirement and practice personal responsibility?

I would look at her financial situation, too — was she frivorced or does she earn what she has? It would probably be better to find a closer FWB if you want something ongoing. You’re certainly playing with fire — and with fire the best you can hope for is improving your odds, or don’t play with it. In my case the FWB is my ex and we divorced amicably without her taking my savings.

As for older vs younger, older women don’t tell, they don’t yell, they don’t swell, and they appreciate it like hell!

[GnosticParticipant 2491]

If you can afford a plane ticket you can afford paid sex.

There is no magic in MGTOW, just recognition of the truth and logical decision how to avoid dangers. The red pill is but the truth, it is no magical potion. Do not think in this modern world men have no longer have natural enemies, men are prey to women and government.

[Author]

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