any of you staying for kids?

[Tired Old ManParticipant 19]

Been married 18 years, the physical end died too many years ago to even remember. I take depression meds not because of depression. I take the meds because they totally kill your sex drive, oh you still want what your eyes see, but forget any thoughts of erections, that ain’t happening, you may as well have ED.

The meds make staying in the marriage easier. I simply care less about anything, you name it, I don’t care. I care about the kids and my hobbies and that is it. I never ever suggest sex and she never ever mentions it either. She has been like this from the start. I was stupid and stayed until we had kids. Thank goodness for the pills, once I got on the pills I stopped any discussion about sex. The pills make living with her easier. With sex totally out of the picture I do not have nearly as much anger anymore.

All I want to do now is avoid arguing with her which in reality means avoiding as much conversation as possible. Regardless the topic, if we start talking we will usually be arguing fairly quickly. The kids are 12, 14 and 15. I will hate staying with her once they are grown and gone but I have no plans to leave. Hopefully we can share the same house and sort of occupy different parts of the house avoiding each other.

As long as she leaves me alone I am sure I could gladly do the same. We cannot afford to get divorced. There simply would not be enough money to support either one of us! And that includes what few retirement dollars and funds invested for retirement I have.

Honestly, in April I will be 55 years old. I really do not want to live to be real old. I think I would be glad to just call it a day and be done with everything once the kids are raised. I do not want to be with my wife in old age, but cannot afford to go solo now, or then so I just hope and pray I die early.

I really stopped caring about anything actually. That includes my weight. I keep up with my hygiene but I eat whatever I want. I am now at about 350lbs and plan to keep eating until maybe I have a massive heart attach or perhaps stroke out (fingers crossed for the big one as I really do not want to be a veg) I live for my kids and that is it. Hopefully my huge butt can be around long enough to get the kids off then if I am lucky I can check out fast and call it a day you know.

Ya, I am staying for the kids. I think they know we get along like oil and water…………

Marriage really sucks. The worst of it is I was a smart guy and was single until I married at 36. Then I decided to be stupid and married. What the hell was I thinking. If I had simply waited a few years until my sex drive dropped off I would just be lonely like I was when I got married. As it is I am not only lonely, I am always broke, and most days I am quite unhappy. Worse, the sex never was there, not before, in the beginning, or ever. I was so damned stupid I thought things could be made better at first. I just should have ran like hell and never looked back. Instead I stayed until I knocked her up and knew then my life was done for, so many years later here I am.

[Anonymous 5]

I stayed long enough for my daughter to understand that I loved her. I thought that would have a lasting impression upon her mind, and to an extent it did. But there is nothing like the lying mouth of a demented mother , who weilds lies instead of truths, who is absolutely unwilling to except responsibility for her actions or the lack there of.
It doesnt matter if you stay or leave, either way you will either be made to look the fool in your childrens eyes, or when you leave the source of all the hysteria and fears the mother possesses will be fousted upon the helpless and impressionable. And you will be blamed for everyone of them.
The good thing about leaving is that you only have to hear her untruths in a court of law.
Mark my words you will be lied about, restraining orders will be handed out like candy to a spoiled child, everytime her whims dictate that one is seemingly necessary. You will be treated like a criminal, and your earnings attached weather or not you are the father of the children, weather or not you are sick, disabled, lose your ability to work. And if you do not comply you will find yourself in prison !!!! You will feel the heavy and long and strong impowered arm of the family court system, layers fees, court filing fees, and then have the honor of being paraded in front of the publics eyes as the court strips you of your rights to access to your children, and when court “mediators” make the suggestion that your visitations continue, you will experience judges in favor of “mothers” take your parental rights away, if for no other reason that you left the state, or you fell upon hard times. And anything that has your social security number attached to it will be ceized or your low interest credit card (s) maxed out by the states child support system. Any and all loans you apply for if approved will become the property of the child support system , and subsequently taken from you. leins upon your homes will be forth comming, any real property you personaly own will have leans placed upon them. If you have a professional licesence (s) you will find all of them suspended , weather or not you are a big rig driver or a doctor, your licenses will be suspended . And if you contact the child suppport units, they will not speak with you unless you give them 10 % of what you owe. Now comes the really humilation. You will then be called everything but human, and then you will be subjected to supervised visitations, where just the day before no such “supervisions” was necessary, a practice only reserved for those who sexually, or physically abuse their children. You are also labeled as a “domestic abuser” dont think for one moment that a restraining order is put into place just to keep you from staying away, oh no you cannot own or have in your possesion any kind of fire arms, you must surrender them to your nearest police station. And that my friends is only the beginning, if you have any family members who have mental illnesses will of course you must have too !!!!! The courts and lawyers will use everything at their disposal to do one thing , give you as little to no visitation with your children, because child support is based on the percentage of time you spend with your children, understand this men , reread the last sentence. 0% of visitation means 100% child support for the mother or custodial parent !!!! And lets not leave out the money the state gets for all of their trouble . a 10% daily interest rate is also added to your child support payments. In my rough calculations its cost me just as much for the support as it does in penalties roughly 50% of my payments are interest payments to the state. Quite the extortion racket huh, man i wish I had that kind of power !!!
Guys I am 55 and will have my child support paid off in the next 15 years. Learn from my mistakes, one of them was I didnt plan my escape very well, if i had to do it all obver again I would take my children away from their mother, after I had secured a decent home and stashed away money and resources in secret places where the government would have no access to it. I would be the first to file for the divorce, that gives you some advantages, record any kind of abuses you can before leaving , but for heavens sake take the kids out of that harmful environment. Get your lawyer first, do not allow her any smidgen of leeway, and when you go into court going for the throat, do not under any circumstances give her any amount of leniency, that will only backfire on you. Go for the throat, she is not the innocent victim she is portraying to the courts. Do with her as you would do any enemy, put her down but good for good. And i am referring to those women who have done what I have experienced in the above paragraphs.
But before you get into any relationship with any woman, make sure that you are prepared to go through what I did, in the event it doesnt work out in the end.
But in conclusion men it would be my suggestion to all of you single men , dont bother with marriage, relationships or even sexual ones with women , because it will only lead to the above outcome with the kind of environment our country is in now, especially towards men.

[CombatRollParticipant 2594]

Tired Old Man wrote:

Been married 18 years, the physical end died too many years ago to even remember. I take depression meds not because of depression. I take the meds because they totally kill your sex drive, oh you still want what your eyes see, but forget any thoughts of erections, that ain’t happening, you may as well have ED.

The meds make staying in the marriage easier. I simply care less about anything, you name it, I don’t care. I care about the kids and my hobbies and that is it. I never ever suggest sex and she never ever mentions it either. She has been like this from the start. I was stupid and stayed until we had kids. Thank goodness for the pills, once I got on the pills I stopped any discussion about sex. The pills make living with her easier. With sex totally out of the picture I do not have nearly as much anger anymore.

All I want to do now is avoid arguing with her which in reality means avoiding as much conversation as possible. Regardless the topic, if we start talking we will usually be arguing fairly quickly. The kids are 12, 14 and 15. I will hate staying with her once they are grown and gone but I have no plans to leave. Hopefully we can share the same house and sort of occupy different parts of the house avoiding each other.

As long as she leaves me alone I am sure I could gladly do the same. We cannot afford to get divorced. There simply would not be enough money to support either one of us! And that includes what few retirement dollars and funds invested for retirement I have.

Honestly, in April I will be 55 years old. I really do not want to live to be real old. I think I would be glad to just call it a day and be done with everything once the kids are raised. I do not want to be with my wife in old age, but cannot afford to go solo now, or then so I just hope and pray I die early.

I really stopped caring about anything actually. That includes my weight. I keep up with my hygiene but I eat whatever I want. I am now at about 350lbs and plan to keep eating until maybe I have a massive heart attach or perhaps stroke out (fingers crossed for the big one as I really do not want to be a veg) I live for my kids and that is it. Hopefully my huge butt can be around long enough to get the kids off then if I am lucky I can check out fast and call it a day you know.

Ya, I am staying for the kids. I think they know we get along like oil and water…………

Marriage really sucks. The worst of it is I was a smart guy and was single until I married at 36. Then I decided to be stupid and married. What the hell was I thinking. If I had simply waited a few years until my sex drive dropped off I would just be lonely like I was when I got married. As it is I am not only lonely, I am always broke, and most days I am quite unhappy. Worse, the sex never was there, not before, in the beginning, or ever. I was so damned stupid I thought things could be made better at first. I just should have ran like hell and never looked back. Instead I stayed until I knocked her up and knew then my life was done for, so many years later here I am.

@tired OLD MAN – Get off the meds and resurrect your dick!!! Go to the massage parlor or get a call girl. You aren’t paying her to have sex with you – you are paying her to LEAVE after sex.

Don’t lay down and DIE. Life is worth living – don’t talk about cashing out when your kids are grown. Tell that bitch of your’s that you have lost years b/c of her and that s~~~ is going to stop. You expect sex X times a week or month and that is that. If she doesn’t come to, then get fit, get off the meds and get a side piece of ass.

Wake up and live, Man! This post of yours really made me sad for you.

[Ain’t No RomeoParticipant 119]

OP, you will lose.

#1, her wealthier family can finance a legal battle that you can’t, so you’ll lose, just like the confederacy did when they seceded from the union.

#2, She’ll turn your children against you. Mommy’s have more emotional pull, they can implant thoughts, fears, even false memories of past abuse the kids believe to be real. You’ll lose.

#3, Kids aren’t babies forever. In only a handful of years they turn into teenagers, and want to be with their friends. The police won’t drag a 14 year old by force to her father’s home for spaghetti night, when she wants to watch the freshmen football game with her friend Jenny. You will lose. So what, you got a paper that says it’s your night? The cops ain’t getting involved unless the situation is unsafe, and they aren’t going to tase, handcuff, and deliver your teenage daughter by force to your “Weekend spaghetti party and L’il Mermaid on VHS”. You’ll lose.

For any chance in a divorce, you have to lock down the school, after school activities, and friends on your side. And you have to be the “winner”. Children are dependents, they can’t afford to root for the underdog, they instinctually will go with the winner (the mom) because starving in an alley with you is sucky.

Divorce is about the only thing I hate more than marriage. You made a promise, you made LIVES that depend on you. We chastize vagines for quitting on marriage/kids because it’s not a perpetual honeymoon. Be accountable for your choices and responsibilities. Don’t act like a vagine.

If you divorce, then you’ll do irreparable damage to your offspring. You’ll also likely forfeit any ability to discipline them. Then your offspring will become monsters.

If you still want to go against my advice and divorce, then you have to go all in for the friends. It’s all about their friends once they hit middle school. Once they can choose for themselves, they will choose the parent that controls the friends.

Also, before you divorce, grab her phone while she’s in the shower. Text yourself threatening messages;

I’m going to leave you.

I’ll take your kids.

I’ll lie to the judge.

I’ll ruin your life. Just watch me bastard.

Etc…

Delete the messages from her phone. Take pictures of the messages on your phone. Burn ’em to a CD and keep the CD at work. Use these pictures to discredit her in court if/when needed. And you WILL need them. So what if they aren’t recent, it obliterates her credibility forever.

You think you’re miserable now? Son, you ain’t seen nothing yet. Wait until there are some false abuse claims and you’re getting served with restraining orders at work. She’ll be done brainwashing your kids against you before you even get to supervised visitation. And when they have to meet daddy in the public park for 1 hour with, “the strange lady that has to watch daddy with you”, it’ll prove to your kids that you’re as bad as mommy says.

Keep your enemy close. Stay married, go to the happy place in your mind, jerk off occasionally. For you, it’s probably cheaper to keep ‘er. You don’t know misery yet.

OP, try not to be too offended. This message is meant for ANY man dumb enough to be considering initiating a divorce with children (just a sample idea of what to expect).

[learningParticipant 115]

@marc Mac, unfortunately you are right. Getting a divorce in this situation means I just get raped.

What this then means is that I have to find a way to live peacefully in this horrible situation for the next ten years. I guess maybe what I was asking right at the beginning was this:

How do you guys keep your cool when your mad wife starts either screaming and shouting or quietly saying the most terrible things imaginable just to get a reaction out of you? I have started succeeding to some extent recently by simply not caring no matter what she says, but sometimes its just too much and I join the stupid screaming match which lasts hours. This was the most appealing thing of MGTOW for me, that it gave me the ability to just withdraw from these types of arguments naturally. But I have noticed that recently as I have become more withdrawn and just generally ‘not interested’ in her, she has started to try and pull my strings even more.

At this point, if I could just put an end to these shouting matches, I would consider that a small victory. Does this mean that I have to play these stupid cat and mouse games that girls always play with themselves?

I mean, I cannot possibly even have a good friendship with this person (or any woman for that matter) – if we, for eg, decided to just keep it civil. I just find them so fake and twisted and basically you never get what you see – the real person is always so horrible inside. Its not to say that some guys aren’t like that – but why is it that, eventually, every single woman always finally shows her true colours?

Anyway, any advice as to how you deal with and tolerate this bulls~~~ on a daily basis, will be greatly appreciated.

[BlakeGuyParticipant 287]

Just another 2 cents.

I did it, kid now set for college, divorce papers in the mill soon to be printed. I wanted out in 2009. Decided to stay. Worked out, happy about my decision.

The biggest thing to do is to build your own independent life. Avoid arguments, give her the ground she must have, you cant change that anyway. Read your Sun Tzu. Now if you extract yourself from the relationship completely she will probably divorce you. You would just hope she also wants to wait till the kids are ready. But if she does not, then she will initiate a divorce. Keep doing the things you have to do to support the household. Avoid other women.

Let the good times roll

[BlakeGuyParticipant 287]

advice as to how you deal with and tolerate this bulls~~~ on a daily basis, will be greatly appreciated.

I faced it. Over the time I was extracting, things improved. She will go through a period of time where she is hurt by your extraction. You need to understand that this is normal. (well for women). She is hurt, so she is mad, she cant control her impulse to try and hurt you back. My wife did that for about 3 years, then she stopped it mostly but not completely. There are a number of things where she will bitch and they are irrational and unfair, just let her bitch and let her have her way. She will notice and realize it means you are extracting.

Save your money in cash, yes hard cash. Pile it up. Count it from time to time. Your cash. 0 return investment but better than -50 percent. Like paying yourself for the time in jail.

Stay out of the house, or stay in the kids zone or if you have a zone, your zone. One way is to go to the gym or run. So lets say you hang with the kids from 6 till 9:30, then go to the gym, come home at 11:00, 11:30 or after she is in bed. You have an early meeting, just say that. But whatever technique you use, develop reasons why you are out of the house that are entirely cool. One way is to do the things you did when you loved her. She has stopped doing those, but you still love them. She will feel guilty when you tell her you wished she would still XYZ. (if you have an out card, say the gym, you do not have to go to the gym every time, you can go somewhere else, but bring the gym bag)

Pick up new hobbies, do it slowly, let them take your time. Might even be taking your kids to hockey practice or something that she really can’t object too.

Drink less if you drink. That is a self f~~~ing device, drinking around a witch.

If you never cook, cook sometimes, that is easy brownies but also it takes your mind as you have to learn some decent meals for all. Barby is the one a lot of guys do. She won’t bitch you out if you make her a nice steak.

Make a space in the house which is yours. Leave the rest of the house. Let her dick with the rest of the house. You get your spot.

No sex with her obviously. If she knows you are pulling yourself it is better as she won’t think you are dicking the office whore. Even better if she realizes you are into some kink that turns her off.

What i found is that she realized it was more fun to bitch at the kids. The kids fought back more. I just remained calm so stopped being fun for her. I also took her side when dealing with the kids, but for me that was easy as mine was great with the kids.

Plan what you are going to do when you are free. How you will live, your bucket list.

Let the good times roll

[CrowbarParticipant 192]

I’m staying for the kids – the sex dried up 7 or 8 years ago, and I don’t trust her to not get totally stressed out by the kids (she can’t take them to her parents house for the day without coming home p~~~ed off if I’m not with her). Better if I’m here so one of us can take them to the park, etc., instead of having them sit inside on an 80 degree sunny day because Mommy is to lazy to get off her ass because she’s “tired” and has a “headache” (maybe stop drinking diet soda all day long).

Trust me, I’d love to be out, but can’t do it now with the kids.

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