Home › Forums › Marriage & Divorce › An Ungrateful Stepchild
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Pedal, run, row 2 years, 9 months ago.
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I received the following message from my step-daughter, because her mother asked for help paying the taxes on her car. Where I fit into that will unfold. She left me no way to contact her. I feel I need to respond to this, but she has left me no way to do so. I really am beside myself. Neither of my two step daughters will lift a finger, or spend a dime to help their mother. After her heart surgery and bout with cancer (she lost everything in that) I help her when I can. Actually, that is what this is about. I can’t tell her, but if I could, what I would tell her follows too.
David, I am unblocking you only long enough to send you this message. From this point forward, you are no part of my life and you had better never ever try to contact me or my family. You are a piece of s~~~! How dare you tell my mother that I should support her when you spent the extra money she has been giving you to pay for her taxes and fees? How dare you suggest that when even your own children don’t support you? You have no clue what my finances are and my mom does not live with me and for you to suggest I give YOU money??? You can hang that up. I would not give you a f~~~ing penny for if it meant you could eat. I hold you accountable in a lot of ways for my mother being in the situation she is in. You honestly think for one f~~~ing minute that you were to contact me and I’d give you anything? F~~~ YOU!!!! You deserve the hell you are living. Do not EVER speak my name or my child’s name again! You have no right to know anything about me or my family. You left us, remember? I am instructing my mother to not discuss me anymore either. I hope you understand just how disappointed and upset I was to hear you trying to shag my mother down for money that you spent that she’s been giving you. You are a rotten individual and all I can say is: karma sucks and it looks like you are getting yours.
Becky,
I couldn’t stand to see your mother without a car. I told her if she would just make a good faith effort, I see that she got a car. She said the best she could do was $100 a month. The car payment was $200/per month, but I said okay. I made the deal for the car and delivered it to her. We could not find a way to register it in her name, so I left it with her anyway. Your mother called me and said she could not afford the insurance. I said no problem, I’ll cover that, too, just keep sending me the money. When I told her I needed more help to pay the insurance ($120/month) she was able to send an “extra” $20 a month. What she sends just barely covers the insurance.
Car payment: $200
insurance: $120
Total: $320
From Mom: -$120
Left to pay: $200
That comes out of *MY* pocket, every month that rolls.Your mother and I were married for 16 years. In the time we were married, the whole 15 years, she brought in less income than I did in my best year. I carried your mother for 15 years. Whatever she wanted, I did my dead level best to see that she got it. For the last 2 years we were married, your mother rarely got out of bed. I did the shopping, the laundry, house work, and the cooking, much more often than not, serving your mother her meals in bed. Had she truly been grievously disabled, it would not have bothered me. After we separated she had had heart bypass surgery and survived cancer, and does more in one week than she did in the last two years we were married. It was not a miraculous recovery. If I had not left, your mother may well be dead now. She had already given up. And I was at the point of giving up. Leaving your mother was the lesser of evils for both of us. Not because I didn’t love her, but because I couldn’t stand to see her give up. I don’t expect you to agree or even understand, but as I saw it, it saved both of us.
In the 16 years we were married, I loved and raised your sister for 6 of those years. You seem to have forgotten that for 2 of those years, I gave you, your daughter and your husband a place to live.
I begrudge NONE of this. Not to your mother, not to your sister, and not even to you. After all that I have done for your mother and you, and am still doing for your mother, I think I deserve better than being told what a piece of s~~~ I am. I can’t change how you feel, but if this is truly how you feel, it reflects more on you than it does me.
I guess it’s true, no good deed goes unpunished, especially when women are involved. Thanks for listening guys. I just had to get this out of my system.
I don’t believe in female magic anymore. And will never again gut myself to make room for it. --Narwhal--
No good deed goes unpunished. She’s an ungrateful ex-stepchild. I can’t speak to your continued support of your ex-wife, but her daughter is an unspeakable c~~~.
Her mother is definitely more her responsibility than yours.
I failed to realize in my youth that I was the prize. I was going to work. I was going to earn. Little did I realize that due to feminism, that no longer meant I had to share. Road soon, Desert after.
No good deed goes unpunished. She’s an ungrateful ex-stepchild. I can’t speak to your continued support of your ex-wife, but her daughter is an unspeakable c~~~.
Her mother is definitely more her responsibility than yours.
Thanks Ogre, that’s kind of the way I saw it too. The only reason I am helping is because she lost everything paying for cancer treatment. Her daughters wrung their hands and cried that they might lose their mother as they watched her sell her car and everything else she had of value to stay alive. Afterwards, she didn’t even have transportation to go to the doctor. The kids moaned, “Oh, what can we do?!?” She has two daughters and an adult grand-daughter, and all 3 of them are righteous c~~~s that do nothing for her. They wouldn’t even hear of helping her get a car. I did it because I was so p~~~ed they didn’t care enough for their mother to do it themselves. This is the thanks I get….
I don’t believe in female magic anymore. And will never again gut myself to make room for it. --Narwhal--
Anonymous12Love your reasoned, almost rationale response.
You stayed calm and level-headed, and that is a skill you will need very often in this life.
Thank you silver one for showing me a good example.
If i ever get myself into a Drama situation again, i hope to remember how you handled this.Women need hamster wheel because the truth will destroy them.
They can never acknowledge the truth because it show how bad a person they are. They have to blame anything on the men no matter what.
There is no magic in MGTOW, just recognition of the truth and logical decision how to avoid dangers. The red pill is but the truth, it is no magical potion. Do not think in this modern world men have no longer have natural enemies, men are prey to women and government.
Anonymous5Silverone I hope everything works out for you . sounds like you’re step daughters are real pieces of filth you did your best to help your wife and stepdaughters and that’s the thanks you get?just sickening .
Answer her to ask HER DAD (or his family) for support. As she points out, she doesn’t want to have anything to do with you. Well, then also don’t bother Becky with YOUr wallet.
"Him, who delights in solitude, is either a wild beast or a GOD!" - Aristotle (Aristot. Pol. 1.1253a) 1 Hom. Il. 9.63; the passage goes on: ἐστὶν ἐκεῖνος ι ὃς πολέμου ἔραται.
Answer her to ask HER DAD (or his family) for support. As she points out, she doesn’t want to have anything to do with you. Well, then also don’t bother Becky with YOUr wallet.
Her “Dad” left her mother, while she was pregnant with this self-righteous c~~~, to marry his Korean yobo while on deployment to Korea. He died of a heart attack 3 or 4 years later, still in his 20’s. I think she equates me with him…..
I don’t believe in female magic anymore. And will never again gut myself to make room for it. --Narwhal--
Her “Dad” left her mother, while she was pregnant with this conniving c~~~, to marry his Korean yobo while on deployment to Korea. He died of a heart attack 3 or 4 years later, still in his 20’s
My dad died in his early 40’s, as I’ve been through the wringer during divorce, would you mind settling my rent for this month?
Not?So what? Just because someone’s father died, you don’t owe people nothing! And doesn’t Becky have grandparents? uncles? Nephews? Nieces? Aunts? Cousins? In-laws?
There should be a s~~~load of people out of her relatives, she can ask, before she should dare to ask you for anything.You are a stranger to her, not even a friend, and she wants it that way, then your wallet is also as open, respectively closed, to her as to any other stranger.
"Him, who delights in solitude, is either a wild beast or a GOD!" - Aristotle (Aristot. Pol. 1.1253a) 1 Hom. Il. 9.63; the passage goes on: ἐστὶν ἐκεῖνος ι ὃς πολέμου ἔραται.
You are a stranger to her, not even a friend, and she wants it that way, then your wallet is also as open, respectively closed, to her as to any other stranger.
I wouldn’t cross the street to p~~~ on her if she burst into flame. The problem is, she wouldn’t do that for her mother either. When her mother asked for help, this is what she sent me……
I don’t believe in female magic anymore. And will never again gut myself to make room for it. --Narwhal--
You need to understand that she is normal.
As a father or step father you are the man.
A child thinks like a child. A child does not and cannot carry a load.
What you do for the old woman is not relevant to s~~~.
Look at Red pill women (RPW). They go on and on about finding a captain and supporting him. Why? Because, men build the ship of life that the family travels upon.
In your story you are a captain. You decide to help an old woman floating in the sea of life. The least you can do is build her a dingy. So, that’s what you do.
After this event everything you think is wrong.
1. You think that the old woman will captain her dingy. Wrong
2. You think adult children will help captain the old woman’s dingy. Wrong.
3. You think someone will help. Wrong.This is where we as men screw up. We see the world as captains. All of the people in your story are not captains.
Your step daughter is not the problem, you are. Only you can be a white knight. Your step daughter has nothing to do with your problem.
An old woman is floating in the sea of life.
You must decide. Do or do not!
Peace brothers
This is where we as men screw up. We see the world as captains. All of the people in your story are not captains.
You know, I don’t care that they don’t want to be captains…. I just think it is pretty s~~~ty she decided to shoot the Admiral who gave them the dingy…. This should never have come to me. Her mother is the one who asked for help. She didn’t feel good telling her mother to kiss off so she attacked me instead….
I don’t believe in female magic anymore. And will never again gut myself to make room for it. --Narwhal--
Like MANY UPSTANDING COMPASSIONATE MEN, YOU have done MORE then your share !!
NOW, it’s time to take CARE of YOURSELF !!
Let them go, Let them all go, and START LIVING for YOURSELF !!
YOUR continued interactions and GENEROSITY are NOT welcomed !!
THEY are FAMILY, and they have made it abundantly clear that YOU are NOT !!
TIME TO LET GO TO ONE AND ALL !!
In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash
Let them go, Let them all go, and START LIVING for YOURSELF !!
YOUR continued interactions and GENEROSITY are NOT welcomed !!
THEY are FAMILY, and they have made it abundantly clear that YOU are NOT !!
TIME TO LET GO TO ONE AND ALL !!
I am afraid you are right. After this “show of appreciation” it is pretty clear where I stand. If my Ex needs more help, I am going to have to tell her I have done all I can. It’s time to call her sweet, innocent, loving, and oh so generous children….
I don’t believe in female magic anymore. And will never again gut myself to make room for it. --Narwhal--
This is where we as men screw up. We see the world as captains. All of the people in your story are not captains.
You know, I don’t care that they don’t want to be captains…. I just think it is pretty s~~~ty she decided to shoot the Admiral who gave them the dingy…. This should never have come to me. Her mother is the one who asked for help. She didn’t feel good telling her mother to kiss off so she attacked me instead….
I know. You are too close to see it clearly. Your caring is wound up in the wrong things.
You are upset and it is all misplaced.
An adult child is what they are. A child. Force from you will only result in you becoming more bitter. You are bitter because they will not help. What you fail to wrap you heart around is that the step daughter is the child. It is her choice. She choose to do not. You will not accept that as acceptable. Your opinion matters not.
The force is not with you. You may not care that they don’t want to be captains but you fail to realize that your care is irrelevant. It isn’t that they don’t want to be captain. They couldn’t be a captain even if they wanted.
A child being asked to take care of a parent is the problem. A government being asked to take care of a parent is the problem. A captain (you) being asked to take care of her is the problem.
The solution?
What if the old woman swimming in the ocean of life helped herself?
My point is that you are upset and bitter at the wrong person.
Peace brothers
I am afraid you are right. After this “show of appreciation” it is pretty clear where I stand. If my Ex needs more help, I am going to have to tell her I have done all I can. It’s time to call her sweet, innocent, loving, and oh so generous children….
YOU don’t OWE your ex an excuse/defense on why you CHOOSE Not to help her, but it wouldn’t hurt to save that message from your loving step-daughter to send off to the ex the next time she comes around for help with a brief note like:
I have done all I can. It’s time to call her children….
SHE will be looking for something before to long. Women ALWAYS need/want CASH and RESOURCES.
In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash
What if the old woman swimming in the ocean of life helped herself?
My point is that you are upset and bitter at the wrong person.
This is going to be hard to understand, but this is not a typical “white knight” action. I am not, and never have been well off. Most of my life, I have been worse off than now, and needed help myself. My Ex get’s $800 a month. She lost everything for her cancer treatments. She has doctor’s visits 3 times a week. She needs transportation to buy groceries. She lives by herself, in a little shoebox apartment. With no transportation, she is stuck there. If this had been anyone I had any kind of history with, man or woman, I would have done the same. It is not that she was my ex; it was opportunity to return kindness done to me, because I was in a position to do so. The last thing I expected was this ungrateful, swine c~~~ of a daughter of hers to unload like that. If anyone in my family had done that to anyone who was trying to help me, Katy, bar the door. If there was no apology, forthwith, I would have disowned them. For this I fault her mother, and for this reason, I will never help her again.
I don’t believe in female magic anymore. And will never again gut myself to make room for it. --Narwhal--
SHE will be looking for something before to long. Women ALWAYS need/want CASH and RESOURCES.
All she will get is, “Sorry, tapped out.”
I don’t believe in female magic anymore. And will never again gut myself to make room for it. --Narwhal--
Anonymous5It’s clear from your step daughters message, that your Ex is telling lies about you.
Your step daughter has been informed that your Ex is sending you money.
As incredible as it sounds, your Ex is bad mouthing you in an effort to try and get monetary help from those around her.The solution is simple.
Give the message you wrote out here to your Ex, as a parting gift, and ask her to hand it on to your step daughter. Then block and brick wall her.
They’ll be at each others throats because of it, blaming each other, till the end of time.You’re right,,the road to hell is paved with good intentions,,and no good deed ever goes unpunished.
All future association with your Ex will only have the same results as any past associations with her. Exactly the same.If you feel the urge to help someone, find a worthy charity.
Give the message you wrote out here to your Ex, as a parting gift, and ask her to hand it on to your step daughter.
Done before I posted here.
I don’t believe in female magic anymore. And will never again gut myself to make room for it. --Narwhal--
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