Tagged: perseverance
This topic contains 46 replies, has 35 voices, and was last updated by 
Westcoasttrendkill 2 years, 2 months ago.
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*sigh*
from doing great and loving his job, to laborer at a factory.They not only betray you, steal from you, cheat on you, abandon you when you need them most, they use their support system to make them feel like THEY ARE THE VICTIM.
I won’t speak for OP, but to me that was the worst part about it. They don’t just kick you while you are down, they invite their friends and family to stomp on you as well.
Anonymous14One of the better pieces I have read here in over a year. So much of it rings true to me in relationships I have had. Thanks for the good read.
On another note- I am on season 5 of my complete collection of Married with Children, and it has been awesome. I watched them all back in the day when I was young… With every episode I am reminded just how completely they have cut men’s b~~~~ off on T.V. and in movies. I mean s~~~, Al was the chump in the whole thing toughing it out, but at least back then he still had a VOICE and he was not afraid to use it, men are no longer given even that much anymore in mainstream media.
Really a fabulous read, think you hit upon what most guys experience. Very well done. Amazing really that men can give so much support and women give so little yet we are brought up to believe women are supportive.
Let the good times roll
It was like reading my own story of when my Daily Planet kept getting sold to s~~~ty companies. One day I came home and told the little woman that I was starting my own business, just like I always told her I was going to. Of course, it ‘threw her for a loop’ because women NEVER do what they say they’re going to. So, why would I? I have the satisfaction of knowing that I left behind a lot of clutter in that office in her house that will remind her of what she threw away everytime she goes in there to clean it up. I only took what I wanted and I’m not reminded of her at all. It’s nice to make a clean break.
"Don't follow in my footsteps...I stepped in something."
Thanks for the feedback guys.
Without red pill knowledge and the MGTOW community, I’d be sitting in some therapist office paying $125/hr for bad advice.
sigh*
from doing great and loving his job, to laborer at a factoryAu contraire! I got turned down for the factory job.
A few weeks later I landed a temporary contract job at a large telecommunications company. Starting today, I am now a full-time salaried employee. Now get this, I got a nice raise in base pay, plus an annual bonus plus stock! When you add it all up, My total compensation rose by about 19%
All I needed was a chance to prove myself.
Did she reply to your last message?
Her only reply is to ask if she can come by on Wednesday to pick up the rest of her s~~~. This is not like her.
Normally she throws a tantrum when I call her out on s~~~. I’m wondering if this email just might have gotten through to her.
Peddle Run Row – Thanks for sharing that vid. It certainly represents how I felt in that marriage.
"Nobody loves me, but my mother, And she could be jivin` too." - B. B. King
In her mind you are just being an asshole. They have no grip on reality and in their feeble minds they “deserve” to be taken care of and expect you to fund them. Oh, but when the chips are down they throw you away like an empty husk.
We are simply a tool to be used by these ingrates. We are meal tickets, sperm donors, mortgage payers and fixers to their bulls~~~ ineptitude.
Anonymous12Thanks for the feedback guys.
Without red pill knowledge and the MGTOW community, I’d be sitting in some therapist office paying $125/hr for bad advice.
Au contraire! I got turned down for the factory job.
A few weeks later I landed a temporary contract job at a large telecommunications company. Starting today, I am now a full-time salaried employee. Now get this, I got a nice raise in base pay, plus an annual bonus plus stock! When you add it all up, My total compensation rose by about 19%
Her only reply is to ask if she can come by on Wednesday to pick up the rest of her s~~~. This is not like her.
Ohmy.
Yesterday i came here and was on a way down on the rollercoaster. F~~~ing Freefall
now i get that familiar kick in the butt when things go up again.YES!!!!
YESS! F~~~ YEA!If she comes around…
keep your trap shut.
better yet, have two Redpill dudes watch over you to make sure you keep your trap shut.
The loyal type , not easily swayed by the smell of desperation and pussy.
Perfection is achieved if she spends minimal time on your property and finds no reason to call the cops.
No intel about your current status and activities.
Not about the job, not about the cashflow.Remember SpiritRR’s words: one phone call is all it takes.
The KEY is NOT to replace her with ANOTHER one the next time you’re feeling lonely, Blue, or Whatever !!
If YOU have the URGE, go for a short term rental, but can the whole “Relationship” idea.
Relationships are doomed to Failure, and YOU always PAY in MANY ways for any Perceived “Good Times”.
Extremely wise words…
If you fall down 7 times, get up 8
Here is the contact information for my attorney
<attorney info redacted>
JoeA great ending.
Amazing read! Awesome post and it’s a great contribution that surely deserves to be in Top Gun as Hominid suggested. And by the way No Ma’am, congratulations on your new position as of May 1, 2017. It’s uplifting for a lot of guys here to see that manly perseverance pays off in the end. It’s about hanging in there. Not always easy to do, but worth the effort most of the time.
Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.
They not only betray you, steal from you, cheat on you, abandon you when you need them most, they use their support system to make them feel like THEY ARE THE VICTIM.
I won’t speak for OP, but to me that was the worst part about it. They don’t just kick you while you are down, they invite their friends and family to stomp on you as well.
Wow, that is exactly what my soon to be ex-wife has been doing for the last six months. So much wisdom on this site, I am enlightened in knowledge when reading most of these threads in the Introduction and Marriage & Divorce sections.
I ain't got a wife to spend my money, I have to do that all by myself.
Very good of you to share all that. It will be of great help to other MGTOW trying to sort out what failed, and not just accept the blame just because they are a man.
Amazing read! Awesome post and it’s a great contribution that surely deserves to be in Top Gun as Hominid suggested.
Ditto
If you rescue a damsel in distress, all you will get is a distressed damsel.
HEAVY BRO…….Very Heavy, and so well put together, i have no doubt that those words were written from the bottom of your heart. Reading that brought so much emphasis and such clarity that I feel every young male or any guy going through a hard time with his wife/girlfriend should read this.
It truly is pathetic how females use and abuse what is given to them, the unconditional love, the support, the loyalty. How they receive it, and throw it away as if it were some sort of bottle cap, easily forgotten.
Profound my friend. I wish you nothing but the best in the future.
i raise my beer to you, and say
cheers!.
"If You have the Tooth of a Whale, You must have the Whale's Jaw to hold it". (i.e. One Must have the right qualifications for leadership) -Hawaiian Proverb
Anonymous43nomam thanks for coming back with an update.
We men know circumstances are temporary, women bail at the first sign of trouble. Every f~~~ing time.
Do not let this woman back in your life, be free Amigo!
Normally she throws a tantrum when I call her out on s~~~. I’m wondering if this email just might have gotten through to her.
I doubt it. In her mind she’s the victim and always will be. I wouldn’t be surprised if she tries to provoke you and create some further drama. If she does, I recommend that you don’t take the bait. You said your peace in a well written email – there’s not much more to say to her.
…feeling lonely, Blue, or Whatever !!
“Feeling lonely” = “Feeling Blue” (PILL!)
Nice one."Once you’ve taken care of the basics, there’s very little in this world for which your life is worth deferring." -David Hansson. "It’s not when women are mean or nasty that anything is out of the ordinary. It’s when they are NICE to you that you have to be on high alert..." -Jackinov.
They not only betray you, steal from you, cheat on you, abandon you when you need them most, they use their support system to make them feel like THEY ARE THE VICTIM.
I won’t speak for OP, but to me that was the worst part about it. They don’t just kick you while you are down, they invite their friends and family to stomp on you as wellThey are all sisters, made all the same.. Notice that once they are not Happy all of the sudden out of nowhere they call us all the words in the world! We become the Evil Violent Monsters that need to be destroyed in front of everyone!
God life is Gooood away from them all!
You must own a better Crystal ball than II see several red flags in your post, which of course represents only your side of the story. I’m sure if “Zelda” was to post here she’d tell quite a different story and people would say “Oh we feel so bad for you, your husband was a real loser”.
I’ve read enough forum threads to know that we almost always see a very skewed, one sided, inaccurate view but quite often it’s possible to read between the lines and get at least part of the truth, which is what I did with your post.
Your initial reaction to what I’m about say will be denial and anger. But, if you can put those emotions aside and reflect on this narrative, you may find the closure you seek.
Dude, you’re very controlling. You’re telling her what she’s going to feel, and what she needs to do in order to “achieve the closure she seeks”. And yet, you probably see nothing wrong with this because to you, that’s just how it is. You have all the answer, she doesn’t and if she doesn’t listen to you and follow your instructions she will ultimately fail.
Take a step back and think to yourself “why did I need to include the part that was quoted by wizer? Why do I need to tell her what she’s going to feel and what she must do in order to fix herself?”. If you can’t do this much, you’re going to repeat your mistakes with every woman you meet, who will ultimately leave you because you’re just too difficult to be around no matter how hard she tries.
People our age don’t change. I haven’t changed. You haven’t changed. What changed is the dynamic between us.
Yes, yes, yes, and yes but irrelevant. People don’t change much if at all after they reach, say their early 20s. Therapy might make a bit of difference. Not much, but some. Why do relationships fall apart then? We’re usually the same people we were when we first me, so what did change? Our true colors come out, or the inital rush of “feel good” emotions wear off and the denial comes down and we realize we made a huge mistake by ignoring the warning signs that we saw in our chosen partner.
We went to concerts, museums, movies. We went camping. I bought you a kayak. We enjoyed paddling together. I enjoyed cooking for you. Times were good and life was great!
I did my best to help you when you had your knee replaced. When you got laid off, I was there for you. I coached you on your interview skills, I helped you with your resume and cover letters. I helped you navigate the online job application process. I did my best to encourage when you felt hopeless. I gave you money on several occasions.
The bulk of your message is nothing more than a summary of how you viewed the relationship and all the things you did for her. Tit for Tat. She doesn’t give a rat’s ass about any of that, she probably disagrees with most of it and she’d say SHE was the one who gave you all the love and the BS that goes along with any meaningful relationship. So what. The two of you are in different places and trying to shove all the things you did for her down her throat is just more opinionated, controlling behavior.
Also, during that first year, I noticed changes in your attitude towards me. This was noted by members of your family before I picked up on it. You became critical. On more than one occasion, you told me you felt uncomfortable with your new life. Even then, I had a very uneasy feeling that you were searching for an escape hatch.
During the second year, things at work really went to s~~~.
Dude she was falling out of love with you. For whatever reason. You saw the signs, which is more than lots of guys do, but you did nothing to fix the problems. Other than complain about your job situation and how she was growing cold towards you.
You missed the boat. It’s not about all the stuff you did for her and how hard you tried to be a provider and it’s not all about “search engine optimization skills” and all of that.
There was a basic lapse in communication, her needs weren’t being met and you weren’t able to fix the problem. So now you’re bitter and it’s all her fault and you’re the victim.And you can continue along this way in every relationship you will ever have, but you’ll be spinning your wheels because “they’re all the same”.
Wizer,
I disagree with most of your analyisis. But, as you have stated without knowing both parties, you’ll never have a complete picture of what transpired in any failed relationship.
I married a woman who lacks the ability to empathize, not just with me, but with other people in her life, except maybe for her sons. She is a very negative low-energy person and a hypochondriac. She basically acts like she is the only person in the World that hurts. She never ever apologized ever for anything she did, even when she was clearly wrong. I wrote, “Your initial reaction to what I’m about say will be denial and anger” because that is exactly how she reacts to any criticism.
You are right in some aspects of your analysis. I f~~~ed up big time. I missed or ignored several warning signs early in the relationship. This was most apparent in her interactions with her family. She would often complain about others getting attention that she felt that she deserved. She complained constantly about almost everyone and everything.
Deep down inside, I don’t think she really wanted to be married. She was in a bad predicament. I threw her a life-line. So, she took it. I think that is reflected in some of the comments she made to me very early in the marriage.
You are also right when you said, her needs weren’t being met. Her need is to be the center of attention at all times. That’s why things really went south when I started dealing with my career issues.
I did work on the issues in the marriage early-on. But, over time, her lack of empathy sapped my motivation to do so. It’s really f~~~ed-up. All I needed was a little kindness and encouragement. Instead, I all I got constant shaming and verbal abuse. A person can only give and give and give for so long without getting anything in return.
This letter was written more for me than her. It is a snapshot of my feelings at a specific moment in time. I never expected her to take any of this to heart. I needed to get these things off my chest. In that regard, I think it was therapeutic to sit down and write it.
Sure I am angry. That is a healthy and necessary part of the grieving process. But that will fade over time. Women are champs when it comes to bitterness and holding grudges.
I do want to learn form this experience. I was listening to Paul Elam discussing borderline personality disorders a few weeks ago. Fortunately, my wife never exhibited the extreme behaviors he described. Some of what Paul said resonated in my experience, especially the inability to empathize and apologize. So I have been doing some research. I am beginning to think that my wife may have some form of convert narcism. I am not a shrink. So I will never know for sure.
"Nobody loves me, but my mother, And she could be jivin` too." - B. B. King
I married a woman who lacks the ability to empathize, not just with me, but with other people in her life, except maybe for her sons. She is a very negative low-energy person and a hypochondriac. She basically acts like she is the only person in the World that hurts. She never ever apologized ever for anything she did, even when she was clearly wrong. I wrote, “Your initial reaction to what I’m about say will be denial and anger” because that is exactly how she reacts to any criticism.
Are you talking about my mother?
How do you know her so well?
LOL.
I know what you have gone through. Even if I also only got to see one side of the story. But the “fingerprint” your descripion of your wife has in it lets me interpolate everything that went wrong or had to go wrong.
I can go on for hours.
Your wife is exactly the type I had as a mother. A low energy person, always hurting, always complaining, always…
Impossible to discuss anything with her, she will go to “fight mode” IMMEDIATELY even if she is totally wrong…
Even the tiniest wish on your part ends up in a bad argument…
And she never apologizes…
She bitches and yells all day…
Don’t get me going.
And she wonders why her son never married…
In July of 2018, this honey pot forum was sold out to an unidentified NPC sock puppet and troll organization. Most independent thinkers and writers migrated to other MGTOW forums as a result of the never-ending infighting and deliberate trouble starting caused by members who were given "carte blanche" by the admin to do whatever they want. Before my departure, I only left a few thousand cat pics here to comfort and ridicule the feminist owners who now run this place. Their background agenda is to make MGTOW look like a club of losers the public eye. And during the course of 2019, they actually managed to destroy almost all other MGTOW venues as well. Here is the truth about "theindependentman.org" aka "TIM" which was created as an extended workbench to further divide the community. When you register, they install a spyware Zombie cookie on your browser that does all kinds of things the user does not know of: http://www.filedropper.com/essay-on-the-removal-of-malware-cookies-used-by-tim
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