Tagged: perseverance
This topic contains 46 replies, has 35 voices, and was last updated by 
Westcoasttrendkill 2 years, 2 months ago.
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Hey guys. I want to share the following email exchange between me an my soon-to-be ex wife that occurred this past weekend. In order to protect our privacy, I changed the names and places. Some of you guys who are going through similar situations my find it insightful.
_______________________________________
Joe,
What happened to the Joe I dated for 5 years and then Married?
Everything was good until about the 2nd year of our marriage and then they started to change. What happened to the” I love you and want to take care of you? I did a lot of things for you because I felt that was something that would make you happy. And now we are here,
Zelda
_______________________________________________
Zelda,
You have repeated this question to me several times during our breakup. I will do my best to present my perspective on our marriage and the reasons it failed. Your initial reaction to what I’m about say will be denial and anger. But, if you can put those emotions aside and reflect on this narrative, you may find the closure you seek.
People our age don’t change. I haven’t changed. You haven’t changed. What changed is the dynamic between us.
You came into my life at a time when I felt very alone. We met almost exactly one year after my divorce from Roxanne and my Mother’s death. You showered me with the love and affection that I desperately craved. In hardly anytime at all I fell in love with you. For the first time in a very long, long time, I felt validated as a man. You had me hooked!
The following years were some of the best years of my life. My career at The Daily Planet really took off. I became the technical guru for digital advertising. I was admired and respected at work. I had, my own place. I really enjoyed my newly won independence. I got back into my outdoor pursuits, climbing all the tall peaks. I had a great circle of friends. And best of all I had you. We went to concerts, museums, movies. We went camping. I bought you a kayak. We enjoyed paddling together. I enjoyed cooking for you. Times were good and life was great!
I did my best to help you when you had your knee replaced. When you got laid off, I was there for you. I coached you on your interview skills, I helped you with your resume and cover letters. I helped you navigate the online job application process. I did my best to encourage when you felt hopeless. I gave you money on several occasions.
Finally, after you were out of work for almost a year with no health insurance, I married you. I worried about your health. I got you on my health insurance. Without the mortgage and other costs for your condo in Springfield, you would have options. With my help, you could work part-time or not-at-all if you wanted to. And guess what? That strategy worked. In a very short time, you got a part time job at Standby Healthcare. In a few short months you transitioned to a full-time employee with a full benefit package.
I busted my ass to help you get your condo in Springfield ready for sale. I scrapped ceilings, sanded and stained cabinet doors, repaired drywall, cleaned your deck and anything else you needed. When it finally sold, I helped you move. I drove truckload after truckload of your possessions to Vernon. I built a monster shelving unit in my garage for you. And I did it all because I really did love you and wanted to take care of you.
You need to understand. Giving up my independence to help you was a HUGE sacrifice. I enjoyed having autonomy for the first time in my life to make my own financial decisions, eat what I wanted to eat, cook, do as much or as little house work as I wanted.
During that first year you got sick. You spent four days in Mercy Hospital. You were still working part-time at Standby at that time. Even though I had lousy coverage. It did pay the lion’s share of your costs. Without that coverage, you would’ve been financially devastated.
Also, during that first year, I noticed changes in your attitude towards me. This was noted by members of your family before I picked up on it. You became critical. On more than one occasion, you told me you felt uncomfortable with your new life. Even then, I had a very uneasy feeling that you were searching for an escape hatch.
During the second year, things at work really went to s~~~. The Daily Planet got sold to Richie Rich and then to Hellhole Media and then to Slaughterhouse Media. The job I loved became a f~~~ing nightmare. I went to work each day stressed out wondering if this was the day the axe would fall. I watched as my colleagues were all outsourced. Dedicated hard-working people were dumped at the curb like yesterday’s garbage. Worst of all the corporate vultures dismantled and discarded all of the truly innovative work that I and my colleagues had done. At one time, our small online team had built one of the best and most innovative websites of any regional newspaper in the country. And in a matter of weeks, all our accomplishments were gone. Simply vanished!
This experience caused me to undertake a deep and profound examination of my professional life. For four decades, I have been doing the practical thing, the responsible thing, the corporate thing. So, I started developing new skills. Mostly video since that was an area I felt that I needed to strengthen. I also started exploring entrepreneurial options including freelance and/or consulting. I also saw an opportunity to make a living as a YouTube content creator. In the course of that pursuing that option, I learned other valuable skills such as search engine optimization, Email marketing and social media marketing. I started using my photography skills again. You resented the time and energy I was putting into all of this. You saw it as frivolous waste of time. I saw it as survival. Well, you should know that of some of those new skills I acquired are a big part of my new job at Universal Telecommunications. It was NOT wasted time.
But, I believe there was something deeper going on. You saw my desire to leave the corporate world as a threat to your own security. Deep down inside, you didn’t simply believe in me and my abilities. You wanted me to remain a mule, pulling a plow on the corporate plantation and not taking risks. From that point forward, the complaints condemnation and criticism became much more frequent and severe.
My first marriage was to a very stoic woman, who avoided confrontation and emotionally charged discussions at all costs. For these reasons, I never developed the skills to defend myself effectively in an argument. You shamed me incessantly and then demanded a response. When I did manage to stammer out a few words, you blew off my concerns and immediately launched a counter attack.
Nevertheless, I did try to communicate to you. I told you about my hopes and dreams. I shared my vision of a life together free from the demands of corporate life and the never-ending cycle of consumer spending and debt that effectively enslave most people these days. I tried to involve you in my video production. I wanted you to have a stake in what I was doing.
Your negativity and lack of empathy caused deep resentment in my part. You complained about everything including the gifts I gave you! I don’t ever recall you apologizing to me for anything in any meaningful way.
Over time, It became increasingly difficult to be around you. So I retreated to my office and worked on my projects.
Men are conditioned from a very young age. We are taught to not express our feelings. Everyone knows, “Big boys don’t cry”. Instead, we just suck it up and keep on keeping on. The dam finally broke, the morning I accepted the buyout offer from the Daily Planet. I cried for the first time since my mothers funeral nine years before. Do you remember that day? Do you remember me telling you,“I hate my life. But I don’t hate you”? Even with all the s~~~ you were putting me through, I STILL LOVED YOU!
The breaking point came in December. I had been out of work for five months with no viable job prospects. I was down to 8 or 9 weeks of unemployment. Things were so bleak. I applied for a menial job in plastics factory! At the very time I needed you most, you ditched me. You walked out my front door leaving me to spend Christmas alone. That was the day my love for you finally died.
All I needed was encouragement, some kind words and reassurance. The same kind of emotional support I showed you when you were out of work. Unfortunately, you are simply not capable of it. I’ve also seen it in your interactions with members of your family. You act as if you’re the only person in the World that hurts. That lack of empathy killed the “Joe I dated for 5 years and then Married”.
___________________________
Here is the contact information for my attorney
<attorney info redacted>
Joe
"Nobody loves me, but my mother, And she could be jivin` too." - B. B. King
Typical woman behavior:
They TAKE everything from you and give nothing in return.
You can save snowflake’s life a million times but when you have the slightest problem, they walk out and join your enemy.
Woman are disgusting.
Your story is truly not the only one.
In July of 2018, this honey pot forum was sold out to an unidentified NPC sock puppet and troll organization. Most independent thinkers and writers migrated to other MGTOW forums as a result of the never-ending infighting and deliberate trouble starting caused by members who were given "carte blanche" by the admin to do whatever they want. Before my departure, I only left a few thousand cat pics here to comfort and ridicule the feminist owners who now run this place. Their background agenda is to make MGTOW look like a club of losers the public eye. And during the course of 2019, they actually managed to destroy almost all other MGTOW venues as well. Here is the truth about "theindependentman.org" aka "TIM" which was created as an extended workbench to further divide the community. When you register, they install a spyware Zombie cookie on your browser that does all kinds of things the user does not know of: http://www.filedropper.com/essay-on-the-removal-of-malware-cookies-used-by-tim
Woman are parasites . All about them . Awalt
THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .
No Ma’am,
Thanks brother for sharing your story. I read the whole thing deeply. It seems like whatever you did, even with such a positive mindset, was rejected.
I can relate to you with my own problems. I am in my early 30’s and have been helping my parents so much over the many years. Rather than going out with friends (I rarely went out with friends), I spent so much time; cooking from a very early age of 15, cleaning, heavy renovation work for my parents investment properties, most of the time when my father would do work I would help him etc. I recently quit my career in the mining industry to return to my childhood passion in electronics engineering. I have had many arguments with my father about it, only to be given the cold shoulder, leaving me so depressed and isolated. He even told me that pursuing a cleaning job has far better prospects than in electronics engineering. That really crushed my spirit. These days he doesn’t even come to me and provide me with a few words of encouragement.
Back to your scenario. I can see where you are coming from brother. Getting punished for doing something you truly love is soul crushing. All you ever wanted to do is keep a positive mindset and be resilient in a tough time. The worst thing is when people turn their back on us when we are in need of help ourselves.
A tranquil mind is neither happy nor sad, it is uninfluenced by external conditions.
Anonymous42For these reasons, I never developed the skills to defend myself effectively in an argument. You shamed me incessantly and then demanded a response. When I did manage to stammer out a few words, you blew off my concerns and immediately launched a counter attack.
That alone is one of my main indicators I use to dismiss persons from my life! It’s a sparkling example of the modern widespread mental cancer of narcissism.
My opinion of narcissism is that it’s an incurable chronic mental illness that must be quarantined from every facet of your life, as easy as dumping all the dead bodies that surround you in a holocaust, otherwise you become tainted and deathly ill from it’s adverse effects and stench of death.
Your negativity and lack of empathy caused deep resentment in my part. You complained about everything including the gifts I gave you! I don’t ever recall you apologizing to me for anything in any meaningful way.
AWALT.
You walked out my front door leaving me to spend Christmas alone. That was the day my love for you finally died.
Same thing happened to me bro Joe, that’s the last memory I have seared in my soul by the heartlessness of a woman. I lost all willingness and empathy for relations~~~s from that day forward.
Since then (20 years ago) I’ve had family members convince me of THE EXACT SAME THING! All snakes bite and AWALT!
I recently quit my career in the mining industry to return to my childhood passion in electronics engineering. I have had many arguments with my father about it, only to be given the cold shoulder, leaving me so depressed and isolated. He even told me that pursuing a cleaning job has far better prospects than in electronics engineering. That really crushed my spirit. These days he doesn’t even come to me and provide me with a few words of encouragement.
Hey man, you must read my story. The link is in my profile…
We do have parallel lives. I had parents just like that and even worse: A whole village hive to pick on me… And that’s why I never gave away my “breadless art” for free. Electronics sales, repair and installation… But for 60 to 80 Euros an hour… And so many c~~~s wanted me to be her orbiter…
Enjoy…
In July of 2018, this honey pot forum was sold out to an unidentified NPC sock puppet and troll organization. Most independent thinkers and writers migrated to other MGTOW forums as a result of the never-ending infighting and deliberate trouble starting caused by members who were given "carte blanche" by the admin to do whatever they want. Before my departure, I only left a few thousand cat pics here to comfort and ridicule the feminist owners who now run this place. Their background agenda is to make MGTOW look like a club of losers the public eye. And during the course of 2019, they actually managed to destroy almost all other MGTOW venues as well. Here is the truth about "theindependentman.org" aka "TIM" which was created as an extended workbench to further divide the community. When you register, they install a spyware Zombie cookie on your browser that does all kinds of things the user does not know of: http://www.filedropper.com/essay-on-the-removal-of-malware-cookies-used-by-tim
I could have written this myself.
I white-knighted my parasite for 5 years after she left me.
Then I lowered the boom.
And life got so, so much better.
Parasites cannot survive without hosts.
You will be immeasurably stronger for this experience.
NGE
Gargamel,
Thank-you brother. Man I am so happy to have some support from brothers all over this world, which is why “paying it forward” creates this ripple effect.
A tranquil mind is neither happy nor sad, it is uninfluenced by external conditions.
Nice Guy Eddie,
Your avatar coupled with your comments goes hand in hand. LMAO.
A tranquil mind is neither happy nor sad, it is uninfluenced by external conditions.
The KEY is NOT to replace her with ANOTHER one the next time you’re feeling lonely, Blue, or Whatever !!
If YOU have the URGE, go for a short term rental, but can the whole “Relationship” idea.
Relationships are doomed to Failure, and YOU always PAY in MANY ways for any Perceived “Good Times”.
In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash
Awakened,
I second that. It is so easy to give in when one is feeling lonely but can spell more trouble down the line. As men, we need to delay gratification.
A tranquil mind is neither happy nor sad, it is uninfluenced by external conditions.
Nice Guy Eddie,
Your avatar coupled with your comments goes hand in hand. LMAO.
The vast majority of ‘romantic’ relationships are driven by strong hormonal influences, which in turn are a result of millennia of natural selection and genetics.
Once you figure this out, and realize that women are essentially genetically programmed to couple with a “protective” man to protect their offspring, the host-parasite relationship declares itself.
Note that it isn’t a symbiotic arrangement; the host does not benefit in any significant way from the parasite; and without the host, the parasite will not succeed.
It’s all biology.
Stay strong, use women only for entertainment and pleasure if you have to.
NGE
That right there: “During the second year, things at work really went to s~~~. The Daily Planet got sold to Richie Rich and then to Hellhole Media and then to Slaughterhouse Media.”
That’s workplace gold right there. That goes in my book of quotes.
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion, it is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning; it is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
Did she reply to your last message?
MGTOW_mike, this letter of yours needs to go in the Top Gun section to serve as a warning to other men who are considering wrapping a woman in the protective arms of their emotional support and resources.
Thank you for posting this gem.
Women are ungrateful. If men takes care of women, it is considered as men’s duty. If women does the same, it should be considered as some sort of charity work from them.
If men forgot a favor from them and when they remind us, we ponder, acknowledge, regret it then become quiet or apologize. Try the same with women. They will go bat s~~~ crazy. Soon afterwards, they will devise a plan to control you and bring you back on board. Never expose your inner thoughts to women and never tell them that you figured out them. Play ignorant.So many true words. I have none to add.
Jesus, H Christ!!!
That is a masterpiece!
All of the individual components of the story are different than mine, and yet the general overall theme is identical to my story, and probably 95% of the men here.
Thanks for sharing!
Men are conditioned from a very young age. We are taught to not express our feelings. Everyone knows, “Big boys don’t cry”. Instead, we just suck it up and keep on keeping on.
Anonymous12*sigh*
from doing great and loving his job, to laborer at a factory.
I wonder – had the nagging and the weight of the marriage not been an Anchor around your neck…
who would you be now?
I mean professionally speaking? Would your energy and your mental development have carried you further, higher, into a more peaceful time?The sooner we feed the Red pill to the young ones, the better.
This was painful to read, and i am happy you took the time and effort to reflect as well as share.Aw s~~~ man…
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