Ah crap

[eng_87Participant 122]

Hey everyone.

The name is Miles.

I’ll keep this short.

Partner dumped me this morning, ensuing emotional trauma was to be expected, out of the blue, didn’t see it coming, basically cam down to her saying I’m perfect and loving and so good to be with, but I’m not the one for her and she hopes I find the one.

Partner has a daughter, 4 years old, we are very close, says I cannot say goodbye, basically need to grab my stuff and go.

I’ve always been supportive and loving. I changed a lot from how I used to be, used to be a bit of a free spirit, travelling around writing my lit and exploring the world, ex Navy, engineering background, rode with motorcycle clubs etc. Anyway, I was cut up about it, hurt like nothing I’ve felt as I really did love this woman, but then something clicked in me…or more aptly broke.

I’m sick of the bulls~~~, the mind games, the falsities and pressures of having to have a gf and be a “good man”. I can’t be screwed anymore, I’m gonna focus on my stuff and earning money so I can get back to travelling, seeing the world and having cool, fun experiences.

I guess the hard thing is adjusting to solo life again. Everything feels a bit vacant.

Anyway,

Hi.

 

[22DeeboiParticipant 259]

Welcome man

I’m new as well. Been through a lot of bulls~~~ with women over my life. Been mistreated, abused and always thought I was the one in the wrong. Not till I broke up with some crazy bitch who was abusive, manipulative, psychotic, suicidal, narcissistic ( enter any adjective ) that i finally found the light. I realized I was never in the wrong but she was.  I found my worth, found who I was and continued my path towards my career.

[DilbertParticipant 281]

Welcome to MGTOW.  And make a commitment to keep taking those red pills.  After the pain and anger subsides the loneliness will creep in and  it may be tempting to question your decision.  The emptiness will fade as you move on and stay busy.

It is for very good reasons the Devil chose to tempt Eve not Adam...

[eng_87Participant 122]

Yeah, it is the lonliness I’m struggling with.

Luckily I have some good mates, ones ex spec ops, the other is in the tech industry with me, both are MGTOW as hell and are gonna be keeping my spirits up tonight.

I guess If I am being honest, what I don’t understand is the lack of logic. As a man of reason, there appears to be no sound rationale to her decision and as such, I am so confused with what occurred this morning. If there was a rational structure to why we split, I would not be so p~~~ed off. In the end, I’m better off.

Now I can spend money on my s~~~, like some new suits, a humidor for my cigars and saving up for travelling.

[experiencedParticipant]

Miles, welcome to MGTOW. It really helps to read read read and then read some more.  Most all questions can be answered this way. Also, be careful as you might be in a vulnerable state of sorts. The truth is really raw…….but it’s the truth.  Women basically will say aloud, “I’ll give you four “X” and softly to themselves, “but I’ll be taking sixteen “X.”  Sorry for the hurt you’ve been through.

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[DilbertParticipant 281]

Your confusion may stem from the fact that you assume women think and reason like men.

Women primarily think with their emotions and reason with their feelings, especially with things that are very important or heartfelt.  When you grasp that fundamental truth female behavior starts to make more logical sense.

If something feels right to them (like shacking up with a PUA) they will believe it IS right in the same way you believe in something when you use logic and reason to arrive at a conclusion.  Likewise, when you find out and call out her behavior she will argue because her feelings tell her what she did made sense.  Now, she doesn’t completely lack logic and her mind may be telling her in the background that you are right but as long as she is angry enough with you that “reason” will let her “conclude” that you are wrong (more so than she is right).

In a heated argument, if she feels afraid, she will believe you are going to hurt her (and tell others that) even if that has never happened before and you don’t ever do those sorts of things elsewhere.

I can come up with example after example but the important thing is to stop thinking women primarily do or say what “makes sense”.  Obviously they can at times be logical and use real logic, but the likelihood of her resorting to emotional logic are directly proportional to the nature and intensity of her feelings.  And you can help the situation by not losing control of your emotions but if she gets emotional it may not matter much.

Another basic truth is that women tend to base policy (their usual approach to situations) on the exception, not the rule.  For example, if your wife catches your son getting high every now and then she will fearful and worried and flip out, think his life is ruined, and change the house rules around it.  Instead, she should be thankful he is generally a great guy, has decent friends, gets reasonable grades, works hard, helps around the house, etc and respond accordingly (yes, that was my personal experience) by having a talk and discussing it rationally with him.  That is the way most  men would respond but their wife jumps in and subverts his authority.

When women got the right to vote this paradigm flooded into politics.  Hell, even our military policy and rules of engagement have been corrupted by this.  So we focus much effort in wartime on minimizing collateral civilian damage (the exception) instead of realizing it is not that extensive and is a part of war (the norm) and letting our military kick ass like only they can.

Lots of other govt policy (welfare, discrimination, police brutality, etc) is based on dealing with the exception as well.  Wasn’t that way in the 1800s and before.

If you have or know some children the above patterns will look familiar to you.  Yes, women on average can be just grown-up children.

It is for very good reasons the Devil chose to tempt Eve not Adam...

[eng_87Participant 122]

Thanks for the above replies, I do have much reading to do tonight. I feel however as though a new door has opened for me.

[DilbertParticipant 281]

I was where you are once.  It took several years and finding MGTOW was the kick in the pants to complete the process.  Have you seen “The Matrix” series of movies?  They are a must watch as you go through this process.

It is for very good reasons the Devil chose to tempt Eve not Adam...

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

I really feel for you bro, especially the kid. They wrap around your heart …. f~~~ing gonna be hard for a while.

Keep strong and lean on ‘male’ friends.

Read & educate yourself. Knowledge is power & you’re gonna need that to help keep the red pill down. It’s gonna taste bitter for a while.

The sun will shine again for you bro. It will be warmer & brighter.

I hope you speed through this & know help is here. Share with us if you’re getting down. We’ve a lot of experience a may just lighten the load a little.

Take care man

[RedHeadedStrangerParticipant 204]

Keep the break clean brutha-man.  Don’t sleep with her again when she drunk dials and apologizes — she will, they all do.  If you haven’t already: delete the entire txt thread in your phone, all the naked pics, even her phone number, lest you have a moment of weakness and are tempted to call her.  Unfriend her on facebook if you use it.  Erase her.

[MGTOWmonkey aka No More Fucks To GiveParticipant 6635]

eng_87 wrote:

I’ve always been supportive and loving. I changed a lot from how I used to be, used to be a bit of a free spirit, travelling around writing my lit and exploring the world, ex Navy, engineering background, rode with motorcycle clubs etc.

Those are your words,so you got off course because of some c~~~ slut! Just get back to you and start with your own quote on what you were until you lost your way so get back on the tracks and Now Go Your Own Way……………

Never lose sight of what brought you here.

[eng_87Participant 122]

Thank you for all the support. Just spent the last two hours hanging with my best mate who said the same things. It’s funny, how you think you’re all alone through this and then find out that it happens to nearly every guy.

[DazzleParticipant 67]

 

This is just how I felt when my wife turned 180 on me. As a man it drives you nuts, because you just want to know why. You have to know the reason a woman who claimed to have loved you so much can just suddenly walk away.

It hurts like nothing else, I know, but for me understanding and the healing started when I found this site. Hopefully you will find the same. I don’t buy into all said here, but most comments are very insightful and you will find lots of support here.

Good luck mate!

[MgtowWaveParticipant 4352]

@My brother Miles

And for Dazzle.Our modern times  and the  conveniences are making the way the female mind works and the process behind how they emotionally bond ever more apparent .

You can think about it like this.You might have a power tool that that you really  like that you have had for a very long  long time. Then you go in a Home Depo or a tool store and you see a 2015 version and you see it has lights for working in the dark and it lets you know when you are  holding it level and straight and it automatically stops not a second too soon or too late without you having to take your finger off the trigger.

Then you think wow even tho my dad gave me that tool as a gift from the goodness of his heart showing me how much he loved me,this new tool looks a lot better.

It is very easy for a women to see a man or men in general as obsolete…… And then they wonder where all “Good men™ ” have gone.

There are a lot of misconceptions and even downright lies about how women think emotionally  bond and what causes them to be sexually attracted/aroused coming from our  current  traditional beliefs and from feminism.

“The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is ‘What does a woman want?'”
-From Sigmund Freud: Life and Work by Ernest Jones, 1953

One such misconception found in both traditional and feminist viewpoints is about women and empathy.The truth is women have little to no empathy for men.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E2%80%9CWomen_are_wonderful%E2%80%9D_effect .

http://www.angryharry.com/Who-Is-More-Empathic-Men-Or-Women.htm

http://no-maam.blogspot.ca/2012/05/youre-such-tool.html

<span class=”st”> ↑ just found this now.
</span>

<b>”Women have no sympathy… And my experience of women is almost as large as Europe. And it is so intimate too. Women crave for being loved, not for loving. They scream at you for sympathy all day long, they are incapable of giving you any in return for they cannot remember your affairs long enough to do so.”</b> — Florence Nightingale

A man who is suffering is a man of diminished capacity,produces less and does less for women and society.

Women did not evolve to care about men and their welfare.Women evolved to  use men to satisfy their wants ,desires and needs in the moment.

The moment could be for 60 seconds a week ,a month,a year ,a decade all depending on her multitasking thoughts and plans and feelings.

The redpill is some painfull stuff.If you dont keep a control of your emotions it can burn a hole in you.But once you gain a tolerance for it  you grow a thick skin

 

frankly my dear i don't give a damn

[Binary LogicParticipant 2351]

eng_87 wrote:

I guess If I am being honest, what I don’t understand is the lack of logic. As a man of reason, there appears to be no sound rationale to her decision and as such, I am so confused with what occurred this morning.

I’ve been down that road. Not too long ago either. What I realized shortly thereafter is that in the long run, you don’t want to understand that kind of madness. You just don’t. Somehow coming to understand, giving just that little edge, will ultimately consume you  if not make you lose a few degrees of intellect. It’s akin to trying to convince yourself that the color 7 smells like cowbells…

Funny, isn't it? How women thrive on a mans time, attention and resources, while simultaneously telling him he isn't enough...

[Ned TrentParticipant 4894]

eng_87 wrote:

I’m sick of the bulls~~~, the mind games, the falsities and pressures of having to have a gf and be a “good man”.

If you want to carry on playing games (which are not your games after all) you’re better suited to go to Vegas and visit the casinos there, since at least there you’re more likely to be aware of the potential risks involved. Other than that alternatively go your own way, fresh bro’, enjoy yourself in here keep learning and welcome…

eng_87 wrote:

Thanks for the above replies, I do have much reading to do tonight. I feel however as though a new door has opened for me.

Now, that’s a good initial way of viewing it. Keep it up, dude!

Ned T.

I'd rather die a natual death with a clear MGTOW conscience somewhere off the grid than one within "modern" civilisation with a big stress mark on my forehead and a couple of dozen tubes plugged into my body. Back to the plantation..? Me..? Hey, literally: I won't ever fucking kid myself...YZERLMNTSIC

[MgtowWaveParticipant 4352]

@eng_87  In some places having a relationship with a single mother can leave you legally obligated to pay child support.

Single mothers are a hazzard guys.

frankly my dear i don't give a damn

[DilbertParticipant 281]

Binary Logic wrote:

eng_87 wrote:

I guess If I am being honest, what I don’t understand is the lack of logic. As a man of reason, there appears to be no sound rationale to her decision and as such, I am so confused with what occurred this morning.

I’ve been down that road. Not too long ago either. What I realized shortly thereafter is that in the long run, you don’t want to understand that kind of madness. You just don’t. Somehow coming to understand, giving just that little edge, will ultimately consume you if not make you lose a few degrees of intellect. It’s akin to trying to convince yourself that the color 7 smells like cowbells…

As I mentioned before, stop expecting women to be always be logical, especially in situations of intense emotion.  Embrace the idea that they think with their feelings and reason with their emotions.  There are a lot of natural out-workings of that concept that start to make sense of their actions and behavior.

At some point you begin too see that it is irrational to expect them to prioritize logic like men do and then you can actually start to reasonably predict them (well, not always or all of them!).

Men (and women to a great extent) in pre-feminist days understood and embraced these distinctions.

It is for very good reasons the Devil chose to tempt Eve not Adam...

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Hi! Welcome Miles. Delighted you joined. You’re MGHOW of the Day on our homepage today. I wish I could tell you that means you won a new car or something, but is it OK if it’s just because your intro stood out and I like a good Scotch with a fine cigar?

It was Cap who said “I will never ever play those f~~~ing mind games again. I would rather play Russian Roulette with a fully loaded cylinder first” and to your testimony, many can relate.

eng_87 wrote:

I guess If I am being honest, what I don’t understand is the lack of logic. As a man of reason, there appears to be no sound rationale to her decision and as such, I am so confused with what occurred this morning. If there was a rational structure to why we split, I would not be so p~~~ed off.

Yeah, this is a place where you can be honest.

The only “rationale” a woman requires is ‘gina tingles. Not even SHE understands how that s~~~ works, but plenty of men here do.

It’s cliche, but loneliness will pass. Wives and girlfriends work very hard to deliberately remove other significant people and influences from your life. This is done on purpose to slowly elevate her place as someone “you can’t live without”. It’s not actually TRUE. She just removes other people until you are left thinking she is all you have. Then, when she is no longer there, it feels like there is little else. Eventually a man might even be sick of her s~~~, but he won’t dump her because of years invested and making her a priority…. so he hangs on to her – even when he doesn’t really want to. He may even convince himself “she was my best friend”.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[eng_87Participant 122]

I’m amazed at the replies, I read through the forums and took  a lot of advice on board, and something I never thought would happen did. I have never had many friends but I am kind and help a lot of people out. When they heard what my partner did they rallied around me. One ex military guy looked after me last night, my brother is on his way to take me to lunch and help me get over it this morning and another friend is taking me to dinner, the support found here and the support from them has made the transition so much easier.

I sat in my room, drinking a white russian pondering my week and realized come pay day now, I will have a s~~~ load of disposable income. I’m a simple man, good liquor, my notebook and a good cigar is all I usually need, so I’ve decided to do what I’ve always wanted, buy a few suits, get some nice pair of shoes and start treating myself the way I always wished I would’ve been in relationships. Looking back, I was extensively used as an ATM, if I am working long weeks, that money is mine, it now will get spent on me and giving back to my mum (the one woman worth caring about, she has never given up on me).

Just heading out to the gym (oh that’s a kicker, my partner never cared I was athletic and fit), then lunch, shopping, buy some new books and dinner.

She text me last night asking if it was me calling her on the landline phone, I didn’t respond, why the f~~~ would I be calling. My parting words were “i’ll text when I come to get the last of my s~~~”. Sounds like she missed me and wanted an opening to start a conversation. She wanted me out of her life, ta-da you wish has been granted. Found a flat in a nice area down the road a few suburbs (I work local so want to stay local). Warm, cheap, dry and nice.

This thread has taught me one thing(in conjunction with reading the posts), is that MGTOW is not some crusade, it is not a vendetta or radical movement. It is neither about hate nor retaliatory inequality: It is about support. This forum is the one place where I will not be judged for being a man, where as a man I can be supported, have voices of wiser men who have experienced the same to counsel me. In unity, we find strength, in strength we find solace, in solace we find peace.

Feels like I am home.

[Author]

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