Advice requested

[Alphanick2.0Participant 21]

So I met this cute girl I like and she’s really into me too. I took her to my house last night and we made out and played some video games. I even fingered her. However, as much as I like her, this is textbook example of Cap’n Save-a-Hoe. She’s a fat smoker, addicted to cigarettes, and she also has a daughter (she’s 18, I’m 20). She also just got out of an abusive relationship, two days before I met her, and I suspect she may have a hidden agenda. I know she’s only going to drag me down, but I still like her and want to spend time with her without her becoming attached to me and viewing me as a replacement father. What should I do? Should I cut my losses and run for the hills or should I try to pump and dump this broad? Thanks in advance.

[Governor Megachris%Participant 3584]

RUN.  
RUN FAST.  

I say this to you as someone who has been through the same exact thing, both with an overweight smoker AND with a mother.  The only thing I can conclude is that you’ve become emotionally attached to her (which, as a man in his later 20’s as I am and have been through this several times, can understand).  Women with kids AND women who are a little larger in size tend to have a huge amount of desperation in them.  The mother will want you to become the father of her kid eventually (though she will most likely flat-out tell you “don’t worry, I won’t make you be a dad to my kid”), and the overweight woman would likely not want to see you working out anywhere as it would bring down her self esteem to see you better yourself.

Those are huge reasons why I won’t date a mother or a very large girl anymore.

Combine that, and you have a deadly combination physically, emotionally, and financially.

My foresight in this tells me that if she JUST got out of an abusive relationship, she likely misses that kind of relationship on the inside.  She may not miss the guy she left, but she misses how she was treated.  If you’re kind to her, she’ll use that to her advantage…until she finds another man (or woman, in what happened in my instance) that will treat her like garbage.  She’ll also very likely want you to pay for her habit (the smoking) when she can’t afford it.  I’m seeing MANY red flags.

I’m not normally one to stand up and tell someone what to do or anything, but this spoke to me way too deeply and I would HATE to see someone suffer what I’ve been through multiple times.  I’ve been with the overweight, the smoker, the mother, and a combination of all before.  They always, <b>always</b> ended up leaving me for someone else, or at the very least cheated on me behind my back with someone they found “better.”

[Cipher HighwindParticipant 1144]

The heffalump already made one mistake at a very early age, and she is looking to make another mistake with your sperm.

[Mango IngawayParticipant 2264]

She sounds like a big no-no, if I were you I’d follow Megachris’ advice and RUN for your goddamn life. The fact that she has a kid at the age of 18 shows her irresponsibility, the fact that she smokes shows it even more, and the fact that she’s fat shows that she’s a lazy/unhigyenic pos.

It is a common failing of childhood to think that if one makes a hero out of a demon the demon will be satisfied.

[Governor Megachris%Participant 3584]

And trust me when I also say she’ll try to sucker you in with sexual favors.  She’ll pout and look at you, plumping up whatever “curves” she might have, and say “please, be with me?”  When they pull garbage like that, RUN.

RUN FURTHER AND EVEN FASTER.

As I said before, she’s looking for a new daddy for the kid, a financial provider for both her AND the kid, someone she can be lazy off of, and someone she can continue her old habits with.  Over time, it will only drag you down with her, and that’s NOT something you want to be caught in.  At our young age, it can still leave a mark on us mentally.  It sure did for me, and I had to seek help for it.  I’d hate to see another well-intentioned man like yourself fall into the bottomless trap hole of unofficial fatherhood.

[Anonymous 42]

You’ve got your finger in this girl two or three days after her ABUSIVE relationship?

Don’t just run, FLY ! Fly FASTER, FLY FARTHER! DON’T LAND! WAIT TILL YOU’RE OUT OF GAS!!!!!!

[Governor Megachris%Participant 3584]

^ I meant to add that!  Perfect, MG-Tower!

FLY!!!!

Fly until you can no more!!

Seriously, if she JUST got out of something abusive, and let you get THAT far, she’s definitely looking for a rebound, and you seem like too good of a guy to BE that rebound.  Pull a Shaquille O’Neal on that woman’s attempts and BLOCK that rebound!

[Anonymous 42]

After you run out of gas and hopefully land OK….. RUN!

[Anonymous 11]

Seriously dude, run like a scalded dog!!!!!

Alphanick2.0 wrote:

She also just got out of an abusive relationship, two days before I met her, and I suspect she may have a hidden agenda.

The above tells you everything you need to know. Have you ever been called Daddy by another man’s spawn? It’s awkward, and it’s even more awkward when a court makes you Daddy.

Have you considered that she may be bulls~~~ting you?

[ManocalypseParticipant 321]

Get aboard the nearest Ariane rocket, my friend…

[BrainPilotParticipant 7640]

This person is a child in an adult body. Parents of grown adults say that hardest part of raising them was not feeding them as babies in the middle of the night. It was that teenager period where the kid wants control over their own decisions, but can’t be responsible for the consequences of those decisions yet. The parent, who has to pay, or may be expected to pay, for the mistakes the kid makes wants to retain some control and influence for this reason. These two opposing goals create enormous friction. People on this site with grown kids may be able to speak to this more accurately than I can.

This person started smoking probably against the advice of her parents. She started having sex probably against the advice of her parents. These decisions have not worked out so well for her. There are consequences and it seems her parents are not interested in accepting those costs. She got into an abusive relationship which further demonstrates bad decisions making skills on her part. I’m guessing she’s gotten, or intends to get tattoos at some point? People with bad decision making skills manufacture consequences that they are not prepared to manage. That creates collateral damage.

You do not want to be in the vicinity of her next bad decision as you then become part of that collateral damage. It’s impossible to predict what the next bad decision is going to be, or how far a safe distance is. But I can promise you that you are way too close presently.

Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you

[Sam FisherParticipant 206]

Yeah man, I’d say run for the moon! She sounds like a recipe for trouble!

When you do tell her it’s not gonna work out, run away and hum this tune loudly:

Sonic – Green Hill Zone Theme Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-78CMKME4o

Let us know how it goes!

[Alphanick2.0Participant 21]

@brainpilot Actually she does have a tattoo, a butterfly on her upper thigh. If she has a tramp stamp as well it will be too cliche

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Alphanick2.0 wrote:

What should I do? Should I cut my losses and run for the hills or should I try to pump and dump this broad?

YOUR losses? You will know what to do when you stop thinking YOU are losing by walking away.

SHE is losing.

You dig? It’s HER loss. Not yours. MGTOW is not just about a man hanging on to his life and freedom and s~~~. It’s also very much a about what you are denying HER. +1 MGTOW means -1 bitch who can leach off a man’s money. It’s one more single mother 5X more likely to live in permanent poverty. It’s one more princess who will never get a ring, dress, a cake and a 7 pound annuity.

It’s not your loss at all. It’s your GAIN.
Now you’ll know what to do.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[harpo-my-“SON”Participant 2410]

Listen to all these guys and get out fast……The abusive relationship is her story….There is always two sides to those….

It may be true that she was the abuser… don’t be an askhole…

askhole is someone who asks for advice and then fails to listen and take good advice when its given…

askholes often come back later and ask that you don’t say  “I told you so”…..

I was bound to be misunderstood, and I laugh at those who misunderstand me. Kind mockery at the well intentioned, but unfettered cruelty towards those would be prison guards of my creative possibilities. This so as to learn as much from misunderstanding as from understanding. Taking pleasure in worthy opponents and making language fluid and flowing like a river yet pointed and precise as a dagger. Contradicts the socialistic purpose of language and makes for a wonderful linguistic dance, A verbal martial art with constant parries that hone the weapon that is the two edged sword of my mouth.

[Alphanick2.0Participant 21]

*Sigh* Well okay. I’ll leave her. Should I try to let her down gently?

[Smitty the Great OneParticipant 1535]

I can’t believe you have to even ask this question, RUN FORREST, RUN!!

Drop her like she’s made of nuclear waste, then run til you get to the airport. Then get on a plane for another country. Once you get there, RUN AGAIN until you’re out of breath. Find a hotel room, hide… lay low for a week or two, then come back.

This female is every red flag in the book, are you serious? Mark my words, run. Because here is what happens if you don’t. At some point you’re gonna stick your dick in her, and she’ll make sure it’s enough times to get pregnant, then you’re on the hook for child support. You think life sucks now, you ain’t seen nothing yet. Sin Loi my boy you are flirting with disaster. You are on the verge of your own annihilation, and asking us whether you should jump.

So by all means ignore what we’re telling you, but went s~~~ goes south…. and it will I want to hear all about it, I could use the laugh.

Life is too long to play by someone elses rules....

[Alphanick2.0Participant 21]

She’s a virus. You ever get one of those colds that just won’t go away? She is one of those colds.

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

Alphanick2.0 wrote:

Should I try to let her down gently?

Letting her down in any way requires contact, and contact requires that you are not running.  Why are you not running?

If you must let her down in some way, the best way is HONESTLY.  Lies are for feminists.  And don’t give a single thought to anything she might say in response.  Just get out.

[Governor Megachris%Participant 3584]

Letting her down “gently” will still result in not turning out gently.  She’ll either freak the frag out, or she’ll use her “sadness” as a ploy to manipulate you into changing your mind.  Either way, you may feel sadness and loneliness at first, but think:  It will save you emotional anguish AND financial burden later on.  If I hadn’t taken the mother I had dated, I would actually still be financially better off to this day (3 years later) than I am now.  For the betterment of you, it’s a good idea to run like the wind, Bullseye.

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