Advice Needed: Should I Give Up 2 Days Of My Visitation Rights

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

I’m never really in a settled mind set when I write here. If I’m here visiting the forums I’m taking my red pills and, like many here, find them to be bitter if not necessary. So I will once again run onto what I need to ask you.
My ex has claimed in an email that my sons want to go away with her for a little over a week to her friend’s place out in the greenery of a remote township. I would have to consent to giving up two of my visitation days. I will check with my sons whether they really want to go or not, but they have been to that place before (for a few days) and came back saying that they liked there stay there. I’m concerned about ‘giving in’ to the ex’s request, but I also want my sons to do what they want. On the other hand, I have to give up my two days with them, and we as 3 dudes always enjoy being together. I can’t stand my ex’s friend btw (the one who lives out there), I think she was the first to buzz hive-crap into my ex’s ear, just about a year ago, and got my ex all mentally prepared to ask for a divorce. My general approach is to stick to the no contact rule method of handling myself with her. You see gents, she can always come up with a way to force me to respond to her, even if it is a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’, so I’m also annoyed with this aspect. Let me get this posted and see, then maybe I will add comments if the thread as any life to it. Thanks for hearing me out.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

Your comments are appreciated. Thanks again guys.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[Anonymous 25]

i’d let them go if that’s what they want and it’s a one off.

any reason she can’t be flexible too though and add you two days at another date? they enjoy spending time with their father. so, that would probably be best for kids

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

Anonymous wrote:

i’d let them go if that’s what they want and it’s a one off.

any reason she can’t be flexible too though and add you two days at another date? they enjoy spending time with their father. so, that would probably be best for kids

Thanks for responding Machiavelli, I wasn’t aware that Tom Leykis showed up here on the forums when I posted. I’m glad he joined us.
Yup, and what you said makes sense, I’ll think of treating it as a one off with leverage banked on my side.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[TaxGuyParticipant]

Anonymous wrote:

i’d let them go if that’s what they want and it’s a one off.

any reason she can’t be flexible too though and add you two days at another date? they enjoy spending time with their father. so, that would probably be best for kids

Agreed. One of the first things I told my daughters is that I would never be the dad they had to schedule around. There were way too many birthday parties with an overnight stay that had to be rearranged because one of the kids invited couldn’t do it on “dad’s weekend”. I told them I’d never be that dad and I never have.

Maybe the trade off should be a trip you want to go on with them that gives you back your two days. Hard for mom to say no to that when you’ve been flexible.

Order the good wine

[narwhalParticipant]

Yep, you need to let them go and then request two days in return at a later date. I understand wanting to maintain no contact, but you’ll get to a much less stressful state with your ex if you both look out for what’s best for the kids, and don’t make decisions based on principle.

Next week I’ll be on vacation with my kids. I didn’t have to, but I had no reason not to schedule my time off at the same time my ex was going on vacation with her husband. Next year, it could be the other way around. I don’t bend over to accommodate my ex, but I do when there is no reason not to.

Of course, that takes two. If your ex isn’t willing to be flexible, and only wants to take advantage of your generosity, then you have no choice but to stick to the letter of the law (without hurting your kids)

Ok. Then do it.

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

TaxGuy wrote:

Machiavelli wrote:

i’d let them go if that’s what they want and it’s a one off.

any reason she can’t be flexible too though and add you two days at another date? they enjoy spending time with their father. so, that would probably be best for kids

Agreed. One of the first things I told my daughters is that I would never be the dad they had to schedule around. There were way too many birthday parties with an overnight stay that had to be rearranged because one of the kids invited couldn’t do it on “dad’s weekend”. I told them I’d never be that dad and I never have.

Maybe the trade off should be a trip you want to go on with them that gives you back your two days. Hard for mom to say no to that when you’ve been flexible.

I’m tending to wanting to also be a dad that doesn’t seem like he’s ‘getting in the way’, thank you TaxGuy for the comment.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[Anonymous 42]

When I was kid I liked going anywhere different, kids need room to roam.

You get 2 days to take care of yourself!

Win win!

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

Thanks narwhal, I’ll be keeping on eye out for reciprocity. She basically owes me one in kind.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

Anonymous wrote:

When I was kid I liked going anywhere different, kids need room to roam.

You get 2 days to take care of yourself!

Win win!

True MG-ɹǝʍo┴, they do need it, and well, right now in my current situation I can’t offer them wide open spaces like the ones they’ll get there in that township on the farm. I told my son who’s 12 to think safety first though, because he’s not a country kid and was allowed to drive their tractor last time they went there. I’m aware of what could go wrong more than their mom is (she probably couldn’t tell a horse’s harness and a contractor’s harness apart). I guess that may have been on my mind too, the fact that I’m not there to oversee them.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[UntamedParticipant]

Point Of No Return wrote:

Thanks narwhal, I’ll be keeping on eye out for reciprocity. She basically owes me one in kind.

You’re a hell of an optimist.
I read the other posts and I tend to agree, only because the kids want to go there. Although I personally would not agree.
I’d prepare a hell of an outing on the days I’d refuse to the X-bitch. If your boys love you, they’ll be disappointed yes, but they won’t resent your RIGHT to see them.
First of all, that place they’re going to is Bitch Central, Feminism Hell. The monsters attract unsuspecting prey with candy then, in your kids situation, poison their mind.
The more your boys spend their time with hoes and the more blue-pill they’ll turn out to be.

Then, do you really believe your X will be as understanding as you are once it comes time to pay your favor back? Don’t you think she’ll come up with an excuse not to do it? Don’t you think she has a thousand and one excuses for every situation? Weemins are ALL like that!
I advise you NOT to make deals with your X over Court Judgement. It WILL come back to bite you in the ass, believe you me!
Safest thing for you is to stick with the judgement. Once you stray you’re in for a world of hurt.

Don't let them Blame, Shame or Tame you!
Give 'em NOTHING, not even an answer!
#GenderSegragationNow!

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

Untamed wrote:

Point Of No Return wrote:

Thanks narwhal, I’ll be keeping on eye out for reciprocity. She basically owes me one in kind.

You’re a hell of an optimist.
I read the other posts and I tend to agree, only because the kids want to go there. Although I personally would not agree.
I’d prepare a hell of an outing on the days I’d refuse to the X-bitch. If your boys love you, they’ll be disappointed yes, but they won’t resent your RIGHT to see them.
First of all, that place they’re going to is Bitch Central, Feminism Hell. The monsters attract unsuspecting prey with candy then, in your kids situation, poison their mind.
The more your boys spend their time with hoes and the more blue-pill they’ll turn out to be.

Then, do you really believe your X will be as understanding as you are once it comes time to pay your favor back? Don’t you think she’ll come up with an excuse not to do it? Don’t you think she has a thousand and one excuses for every situation? Weemins are ALL like that!
I advise you NOT to make deals with your X over Court Judgement. It WILL come back to bite you in the ass, believe you me!
Safest thing for you is to stick with the judgement. Once you stray you’re in for a world of hurt.

Thank you Untamed. I knew I was feeling this inside of me, and that I couldn’t possibly be alone in the sentiment you described. I also have these thoughts and juggle with them. And yes, I do also worry that they will be visiting the Hive in all its despicable ugliness.

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[Anonymous 7]

I’ve been divorced for over 12 years now. The first years were brutally constrained to follow visitation rights. Each year that passed, the ex would relent on letting me have an extra day, rescheduling for following weekend, switching holidays, etcetera.

We now don’t even follow the correct visitation days. Sometimes my ex will even call to work out what is in my daughter’s interest instead of her own.

Do not be rude, demanding, or disrespectful in any way.

Things will ease. I promise.

[Point Of No ReturnParticipant 4074]

Thanks for the comment LoneStar
This is what I’m looking for…
various points of view

Know when it is your duty to give them zero explanations for your actions.

[MarketWatcherParticipant]

I say let them go, but only if you get two days back from her time in the future.

[UntamedParticipant]

Point Of No Return wrote:

Thank you Untamed. I knew I was feeling this inside of me, and that I couldn’t possibly be alone in the sentiment you described. I also have these thoughts and juggle with them. And yes, I do also worry that they will be visiting the Hive in all its despicable ugliness.

Once you start dealing with the X outside of court you’re f~~~ed. She will think you’re doing it because you’re afraid what she might do if you don’t and she will then start taking advantage, taking more and more and when you complain she’ll threaten you based on all the other times you let her have her way with YOUR visitation time and if it gets nasty she’ll be the first one to say to the judge that you haven’t kept by his order and, of course, you’ll be the one in the wrong. She won’t mention the idea of messing with visitation was mutual, no sireee
She has the kids on a full-time basis. She can take them there anytime she wants. Why does it have to be on YOUR days?
Take it as a s~~~ test because in my view that’s what it is.

Don't let them Blame, Shame or Tame you!
Give 'em NOTHING, not even an answer!
#GenderSegragationNow!

[MurineesParticipant 704]

Like you, I try to limit my engagement with my ex to the absolute minimum. So whenever she has to reschedule our kids, I usually let her, just to avoid any argument and drama. Since your son would enjoy those 2 days, I would let him go and encouraging him for that. The kids should be our first priority for any decision to be made.

[Anonymous 1]

No kids here but if they want to go my opinion let them. If you refuse she might use that against you for eternity.

[UntamedParticipant]

Murinees wrote:

The kids should be our first priority for any decision to be made.

THAT’s what the C~~~S are counting on!
That’s why fathers get the shaft. They’d rather go along with anything than face their current reality.
The reality is that women will use every single one of your weaknesses to f~~~ you, f~~~ with you and f~~~ you some more.
Jugements and visitation times exist for a reason and the reason is that you can NEVER trust a bitch with ANYTHING.
The day you make your decisions regarding custody based on your heart is the day you sign your own Court gang-bang.
All of us, in some way or another, are here because we did listen to our heart and were weak. We call it White Knight or Mangina but it’s simply the weakness of Men towards women and children.
MGTOW makes us strong and helps us make smart decisions in order to NOT get the shaft.
Then you want to go ahead and make deals with your enemy? WTF
Remember, SHE divorced YOU. Why should you deal?

Don't let them Blame, Shame or Tame you!
Give 'em NOTHING, not even an answer!
#GenderSegragationNow!

[Anonymous 7]

Point Of No Return wrote:

Thanks for the comment LoneStar
This is what I’m looking for…
various points of view

Don’t let the ex roll you, for she will try. You have to be aware that right now she will use whatever available advantage she can. You must stay calm and collected with interactions.

If you push, she will most likely push back.

At least with mine, the more I convinced her that I was not in a battle with her, she slowly became more open to adjustments in visitation.

We are now at a point where my daughter can come and go as she pleases, for the most part.

Be civil, and make sure your ex understands you are not wanting anything other than what is best for your child.

Also, remember, the State Attorney General is just a petition away, and if she chooses, she can get the divorce decree modified more to her advantage if she has a capable lawyer and empathetic state.

Be smart in your dealings and pick your battles wisely.

Good luck to you, and enjoy every second you can with the children. Let their experiences with you leave a positive and lasting impression.

[Author]

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