Whenever the topic of god comes up, I have to admit I am angry. I am angry that all that was told me was complete bulls~~~.
WHen I was young, I always ended up losing my keys. I tried to hard to find them. But i got beat anyways. I use to pray so hard.. I would BEG for help. I one time I wondered if maybe I was praying to the wrong god. Maybe it was the Hindu one I was suppose to pray to. Maybe I was doing it wrong. But all my young life, the people at that church that ran that day care, told me and taught me and even my mom, that all I need to do is ask GOD for help when I need it.
WHen I was about 10, I can’t even remember what I lost or did. But my mom started beating me with a steak knife. She cut my hand, and I begged for help this time by even calling the police.
That is where I learned to hate the army That was the Bastard that was working their at the Juvenile hall. DO you know what they do when you need help? THey did on even care about the cut in my hand. You know, I forgot about that.. The asshole told me he was going to throw me in a cell. You know what I did? Nothing.
So with that, they sent me back home in the back of police car. Oh thank you CPS. You are amazing.
From then on, I had to protect my sister from my moms wrath. And I never told her to ask god for s~~~. God never gave a damn about me or anyone.
I can’t tell you how many times, I was beaten with abjects, then locked in a closet. I would PRAY AND PRAY AND PRAY. And the light would never come.
I was even tied up. But you know, I cried, I screamed, but I was LOCKED in the closet. I can’t even tell you how many times I was tied up and put in there by my mother.
One time, I was blamed for some pot that went missing. I had no idea what it was, but I was blamed for it. That was one of the worst beating I ever got. And where was god?
Don’t give me that s~~~ that he was there standing next to me. THAT BASTARD COULD HAVE BEEN JACKING OFF for all I know! So F~~~ GOD!
F~~~ your Stupid “You have no free choice” If that is true, then GOD IS F~~~ING THE MOST EVIL SON OF A BITCH THERE EVER WAS!
You know, I did see something. It was NOT god. It was something else. But there is something out there watching. I know there is. But I know they wont’ do s~~~. Some f~~~er is sitting watching this ant farm and jacking off to it. So if there is no free will, then it is not due to some Sky fairy, or Magic Moon Logic.
IT”S SIMPLY that someone is telling you, there is no GOOD GOD. THere is no man who is going to save you but yourself.
Let me make this clear, I have no problems with AA or anyone trying to use that Bulls~~~ to help people. You do what you got to do.
And since Feminism + there is no reason to go to anything atheist. It’s almost all cancer. Even those baboons will tell you “Oh Black kids are just poor, that why they want to hurt you”/. Or really? I was poor. Not really, but I lived in S~~~. I had 2 pair of clothes to wear for the school year while my parents made almost 10,000 a MONTH back in 1992.
I was good, I f~~~in tried man. But you know what, I keep telling myself that I go through this s~~~ for some bad things I did as a kid. I was so poor at one time, I had to steal money from working at the lunch room so I could have 50 f~~~ing cents to by a Mega Chip Cookie. But since then, I went out of my way to pay back the school and the state anyway I could. Every wrong I f~~~ing worked SO GOD DAMN HARD to make right.
And you know what I got? More GOD DAMN PAIN. More suffering for the better I was. And my life is now at least 20 years in, and I have almost nothing to show for it.
I have nothing. I will never be anything. And just today, I know they are planning something since it my sons Birthday tomorrow.
I can’t even send a present, since that is against the Law. THey will come and tell me, I violated the LAW somehow if I do. I can’t have anymore of the feeling in my hands go away. I can’t even go to the doctors legally. My last eye care appointment required me to break the law. I had to go over the bridge in to washington to the VA. If I had got my glasses or prescription, I would have left a solid recovered that I was there. And lord knows they have access to my medical records. REcords that seem to be LOST in the system. So of course, I can’t go to school. Even though its been a year, I have been waiting.
SO You can talk about GOD. You can talk about not having any free will. But F~~~ YOU ALL for thinking that any of it is Moral. Both are wrong.
There is someone watching. I know there is something out there. People talk about don’t think with your feelings. THat why we got in this mess in the first place. Ignoring them. Ignoring the Gut FEELING.
I know there is more. But let me ask you this.
IF control was the goal, then this could be done overnight. But if your goal is to make people feel and be miserable, hopeless and lifeless, this is how you do it.
Like it not gentleman, there is someone watching, and they don’t give a f~~~. Just like you wouldn’t if you were on the other side of that mirror.
Life was never a gift to me. It has been a curse. A curse that no amount of pills, drinking or booze will make go away. The pain never goes away, the mind never grows numb.
You know what was the ONE THING I asked of god. PLEASE TAKE CARE OF MY CHILDREN. Please watch over them.
I put up with s~~~ you men would not believe. And yet, what did I get in return?
Like it or not gentleman, today a woman at the 7 eleven called the cops on me. It came over the radio. They never showed up. You want to know why. THEY KNOW it will be their last time they see daylight again.
THey f~~~ with me this time, I’m not going quietly. THere is no program to life. There is no Higher power. Arguably, you are all in my head.
And I am hell. I can’t imagine what hell being any worse. I really can’t.
You are all alone. If you have been falsely accused of RAPE, DV, PLEASE let all men know about the people who did this. http://register-her.net/web/guest/home
iMickey503 1 year ago.
