Home › Forums › Introductions › A second introduction
This topic contains 27 replies, has 19 voices, and was last updated by 
Romulus 1 year, 7 months ago.
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Hello MGTOW.
My first introduction, should you be interested in reading it, is here: /forums/topic/my-introduction-warning-nsfw/
I introduce myself again because I am a fully different person since then.
At that time, 2 years ago, I was a 34 year old who tried to live up to his father’s expectations.
Now, I’m 36, almost 37. My father died a year and a half ago and that has sent my world into a bit of a tailspin.
I contemplate legacy, or lack thereof, so much more now. Fundamentally, I am an only child, who has never been married, and who has no kids. I feel like an utter, absolute failure, and the disappointment of my late father, as well as his family (he was the youngest of 7, so I have a flock of cousins, aunts and uncles). Though my mother does her very best to encourage me, and supports me fully, I feel like I am a failure to her as well.
Since my father died, I also lost all my friends. I voluntarily disconnected from social media, refusing to use Facebook, not having an Instagram, and begrudgingly using LinkedIn for professional contacts only.
Physically, I have let myself go and I am mentally and emotionally exhausted from depression and work. I’m in a dead-end white-collar job that I hate and where I am not valued by leadership. I also feel much less attractive than I did in my late 20s and earlier 30s. I have concluded that so much of our self-worth is based on how attractive we are to the opposite sex. When that goes, or begins to reduce itself, our sense of value in society begins to diminish.
I basically talk to only two people, my mother and my ex-girlfriend, who came back in the picture a few years ago after her divorce. She has absolutely helped me immensely through the hardship of losing my father. But, she is an 8 hour drive away, and she is after all an ex, so my gut is saying maybe leaving her is the right choice. I wrestle with leaving her and settling down with her on a daily, constant basis. She wants to move in with me, or at least move closer to me, but I hesitate, because if she is not right for me, it would be even harder to disconnect. I contemplate having children with her out of wedlock – the marriage contract seems like something I would have to be forced into, but I do want to experience fatherhood.
I have been absolutely miserable, in a very dark place psychologically, as dark as I have ever experienced. I have reached out to a psychiatrist, but I have never scheduled a visit, and I wonder if it might be worthwhile. I just don’t know if life will have much to offer me anymore, I’m not as optimistic about the future as I was. Not sure what to do.
I thank everyone in advance for taking the time to read my intro, and possibly for sharing any additional perspective and advice that you may offer. Know that I greatly appreciate it, and I thank you.
I contemplate legacy, or lack thereof, so much more now. Fundamentally, I am an only child, who has never been married, and who has no kids.
You Just described me!
I had a different reaction to discovering MGTOW. I felt so much better knowing I am not the only one.
I am sorry about your father. Now it is time to live for you. Stay away from the ex and don’t do anything that does not feel right for you.
Cheer up man. You are not alone.
I thank everyone in advance for taking the time to read my intro, and possibly for sharing any additional perspective and advice that you may offer. Know that I greatly appreciate it, and I thank you.
Welcome and glad that you have started your journey.
The font of knowledge at MGTOW.com is the forum. Read the opinions, consider the advice and share in the experiences. You and all other users will be much richer because of your interaction. Continue to live your life for yourself and remember that no one else will help you heal, only you can accomplish this task.
Like you, my father was one of my hero’s and his validation meant the world to me. He passed away two years ago and while every day gets a little easier, it is still difficult.
My only advice is contained in my sig file. Best of luck.
"My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it." - Clarence Buddinton Kelland
Welcome. Remember anxiety and these dark places WIll pass like clouds in the sky. You are not anxiety or depression it is a just a feeling that will pass. You are seperate to it. Many of us here have been through dark difficult situations. As a starting point or stepping stone that ‘may or may not’ help (i dont know you) I suggest reading the first half of the Anthony DeMello book ‘Awareness’ – you dont have to be religious to appreciate the words in this book. Welcome – you are amongst men here – the no women allowed zone.
Feminism was funded by bankers/politicians to create more taxpayers. MGTOW IS FREEDOM https://archive.org/details/mgtowisfreedomblurayready
Here is the online copy of de Mello’s Awareness.
http://arvindguptatoys.com/arvindgupta/tonyawareness.pdf
Another of his books is not online, but available at Amazon.
It is titled: The Way to Love.
The title is misleading, as he deals with how society and our culture teach us all the wrong beliefs and behaviors.
Since you have self-identified as a “failure,” which is totally subjective and just a label based upon what you believe society or others expect you to be, I suggest you also read the Amazon reviews and get a copy of:
Beyond Success and Failure: Ways to Self-Reliance and Maturity, by Marguerite and Willard Beecher. They also deal with false beliefs and assumptions that society and culture load us up with.
Welcome back.
I basically talk to only two people, my mother and my ex-girlfriend, who came back in the picture a few years ago after her divorce.
Get some masculine company to spend your time and energy with. Women will only manipulate, coerce, direct you in the direction they want you to go.
I have been absolutely miserable, in a very dark place psychologically, as dark as I have ever experienced.
Start eating healthy [plant based], drinking plenty of water, getting 7-8 hours of sleep every night, getting 40-60 minutes/day of vigorous exercise [preferably outdoors], meditating 15-20 minutes/day on a God who Loves you enough to give His life for yours.
When women lead, destruction is the destination. -- Me.
Soo let me get this straight, you where born in this planet to meet other people’s expectations?… what are you a men or future bacon?
Having kids? Why? Legacy? For who?
Trust me I’m a human and I wish my mother had an abortion, look around pall, this world is a s~~~ hole, do you wanna bring a kid to this?Your ex? Soo her marriage failed and she wants you to be sloppy seconds, mr. Good right now… sure go for it tiguer. Just remember she is not helping you, she got a plan.
You hate your job? Who doesn’t? IT IS A JOB, you are not supposed to like it, it is supposed to make you money. If it is Soo bad, quit, you can be a bum if you want, no obligations, no kids, no wife, do what ever the f~~~ you want.
Social media? You mean mediocrity?
Still feeling like having a family.
Read MATRIX INTRO.
You let your self go? You are not atractive?
Well, 1) do something about it, get in shape.
2) a men is atractive if he has money, im a doctor latino, 6 feet tall, 84 kg, muscular, I got kicked to the curb by my 14 years wife for a Younger guy who is fat, uglier, but is loaded as f~~~.Wake up and smell the beans sun shine, you wanna know my opinion?
You are 37 years old, no kids, never divorce raped, I ENVY YOU SUCCESSFUL MOTHER F~~~ER.
You welcome bitch.
Now grab a beer, let’s watch mgtower shoot jheova withneses or what ever.
To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.
You always looked up to your father.
You were never lifted up to stand in his place.
Your spirit’s world collapsed when he left.
YOU tried to live up to your father’s expectation and failed. This crushed your spirit.
Under this is resentment at your father. in your mind he caused your failure.
Until You forgive him your spirit will remain crushed under the weight of failure.
Find peace when you forgive your father. Your life will then move forward.
Good luck
Peace brothers
Ignore the c~~~ Carnage. Welcome back bro.
Peace is > piece.
Oops, double post
Peace brothers
you where born in this planet to meet other people’s expectations?…
If you think you have to meet other people’s expectations for your behavior, you become their slave. They provide the script and you believe you must do the acting to please them instead of yourself. If this is the case with you, then you need to tear up their script and write your own. If you consider yourself a failure because you have not met their expectations, that is evidence that you are appointing them as authorities to be obeyed without question.
Ignore the c~~~ Carnage. Welcome back bro.
Im not joking, I envy this f~~~er.
I don’t even have a family, I got a mother and that is it.
My sister is a c~~~, my brother is dead, my dad is a world heavyweight undefeated united tittle legendary level asshole…
Im unemployed right now (by my decision) about to move to a s~~~ hole third world country to try and build a business from scraps…
NIL, you are doing great, forget about what tradcons around you expect and want, it is your life, live as you wish, don’t waste your life pleasing others.
Be a men, no bacon, I’m saying this seriously, EVERY MEN THAT PASS HIS 30 without a wife and kids, divorce raped or enslaved, IS DOING IT F~~~ING RIGHT.
Look at this place, is fool of losers, losers who didn’t know, didn’t learn, losers who failed and ended up f~~~ed up, matrix, spirit, me, keymaster, we got caught into the meat grinder, but you, YOU GLORIOUS BASTARD, YOU RAN AWAY, I SALUTE YOU MOTHER F~~~ER.
To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.
Ignore the c~~~ Carnage. Welcome back bro.
Im not joking, I envy this f~~~er.
I don’t even have a family, I got a mother and that is it.
My sister is a c~~~, my brother is dead, my dad is a world heavyweight undefeated united tittle legendary level asshole…
Im unemployed right now (by my decision) about to move to a s~~~ hole third world country to try and build a business from scraps…
NIL, you are doing great, forget about what tradcons around you expect and want, it is your life, live as you wish, don’t waste your life pleasing others.
Be a men, no bacon, I’m saying this seriously, EVERY MEN THAT PASS HIS 30 without a wife and kids, divorce raped or enslaved, IS DOING IT F~~~ING RIGHT.
Look at this place, is fool of losers, losers who didn’t know, didn’t learn, losers who failed and ended up f~~~ed up, matrix, spirit, me, keymaster, we got caught into the meat grinder, but you, YOU GLORIOUS BASTARD, YOU RAN AWAY, I SALUTE YOU MOTHER F~~~ER.
What Carnage says is the truth. He feels no emotion. As a man, he just speaks the way it is.
All Nil has to do is forgive his father and his drama vanishes.
How many get that close? Damn few.
Most have a life of angry mess strung miles long.
Peace brothers
Yip. Now you both know it.
Peace is > piece.
Fundamentally, I am an only child, who has never been married, and who has no kids.
Good.
I feel like an utter, absolute failure, and the disappointment of my late father, as well as his family …
In what way, exactly? What did they think you should do or be? Come to think of it, what the hell does it have to do with them anyway?
I voluntarily disconnected from social media, refusing to use Facebook, not having an Instagram, and begrudgingly using LinkedIn for professional contacts only.
Good – these things are poison.
Physically, I have let myself go and I am mentally and emotionally exhausted from depression and work.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. Take up an outdoor sport or hobby.
I’m in a dead-end white-collar job that I hate and where I am not valued by leadership.
Most people are in the same situation. Very few are lucky enough to find someone to pay them to do what they like doing.
You might hate the job, but if it enables you to pay your way, then that’s to be considered an achievement.
I have concluded that so much of our self-worth is based on how attractive we are to the opposite sex. When that goes, or begins to reduce itself, our sense of value in society begins to diminish.
Yes.
I basically talk to only two people, my mother and my ex-girlfriend, who came back in the picture a few years ago after her divorce.
RED FLAG. She’s looking for another Beta slave.
She wants to move in with me, or at least move closer to me …
RED FLAG. She is moving in for the kill.
I have reached out to a psychiatrist, but I have never scheduled a visit, and I wonder if it might be worthwhile.
“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low-self-esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, surrounded by assholes”. Sigmund Freud.
Its all about your mental attitude. Nothing in your life is much different from me. I have one friend who is also an ex-girlfriend (see my unicorn post from last week) and about two other male friends. I don’t even talk to my mother because she is evil.
But I spent three years going to bed every night at 9:00 PM and meditating and giving myself cognitive behavioural psychology (I developed this technique where I divide my mind and create an alter ego that asks the kinds or questions a therapist would) And I eventually healed myself.
Now, despite having s~~~ty parents I no longer talk to, a job I tolerate, only 3 friends, no children, no legacy, I am happier than ever.
What works for me might not work for you but if you keep trying you will find your own way.
Oddly enough when I started healing myself I was about your age. It took about 3 years of really being introspective and understanding why I think the things I do and feel the way I do before I healed. That happened by about the time I turned 40 and now I am 43 and happier than I have ever been.
Get some exercise. Eat better. Love yourself and you will heal. It won’t happen overnight and you won’t even notice the changes at first because they are incremental but I know you will do it.
Hang in there.
I also recommend Magic Mushrooms In a controlled environment.
“legacy” doesn’t mean ANYTHING.
I used to think it meant something, but the whole idea of passing on your Family blood lines” or the like actually gets all washed away within a couple/few generations, and so doesn’t your whole existence, but that’s NOT A BAD THING.
This Allows YOU TO LIVE FOR YOURSELF TODAY, AND DO WHATEVER YOU WANT WHEN YOU WANT !!
You’re a single man employed full time in a low key white collar job.
Let’s see, you have an income, and no exes or kids to pay for ………..I’m really trying to find just what’s depressing about that ???????
YOU HAVE NO IDEA JUST HOW MUCH YOU HAVE !!!!!!!!!!
I have concluded that so much of our self-worth is based on how attractive we are to the opposite sex. When that goes, or begins to reduce itself, our sense of value in society begins to diminish.
And, you care what society Thinks ???? WHY ???? Society doesn’t care about Men except as work horses !!!!
I feel like an utter, absolute failure, and the disappointment of my late father
I’m going to be blunt with this one. Your father is DEAD, Get Over It, Stop Crying About It, and Start LIVING YOUR LIFE FOR YOU !!!!
I had ENOUGH. You have it better then MANY MEN on this site. Currently, YOU ARE YOUR OWN WORSE ENEMY !! Get Over YOURSELF !!
At Least You’re NOT FALLING for the TRAP from the Ex.
In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash
It’s incredible how just a few posts from forum members contain so much f~~~ing wisdom! I will write more later, but in the meantime, I thank each and every one of you for your perspectives, opinions, and supportive words (even the posters who have been tough on me! I appreciate that too, and I probably needed that!). They mean a ton. Thank you.
Really looking forward to learning from you guys!
PS: As a quick note, I printed out ‘Awareness’ and ‘Beyond Success & Failure’. Will read them tonight. Other reccos are totally appreciated!
basically talk to only two people, my mother and my ex-girlfriend, who came back in the picture a few years ago after her divorce. She has absolutely helped me immensely through the hardship of losing my father.
You are thinking and acting out of emotion .
No one can fix you but yourself .
Because she is an ex more reason to put distance . She is seeing you as a fixer upper on the side . You will always come second if you got back with her .
Physically, I have let myself go and I am mentally and emotionally exhausted from depression and work
You sound depressed and have reason for being so . But your still functioning . Its when you cant get out of bed or open your eyes is when to worry .
Take some horseraddish and garlic pills .
TRY THIS a couple of times a week it works . Sensory technique . Give it like a month to start seeing a difference .
Have a hot shower before bed .
Rub some deep heat on ya muscles .
Burn an incense stick .
Buy two soft sqwishy rubber b~~~~ that feal funny to touch and hold them .
Get a cheap kids disco ball light
As your laying watching the lights on your cieling shut your eyes and imagine your floating above the earth .
Turn on a relaxing tune like this .
The ex . F~~~ her .
There are many ways to meet people and make friends . I have done a few threads on this .
THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .
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