A Lost Brothers Asks for Help.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Good evening Gents.
Asking for a brother in need who came to us.

“Joe” broadcast on social media today, and directed his message to MGTOW.com & others in the MGTOW sphere. I could offer little help, because I’m not a mortgage / credit / finance expert…. but I did suggest he calculate renting v.s buying for a while – while also calculating his stress level – before making a decision.

Condensed: He wants to buy his place ($42K). Has until April 30th. Bad credit is making it harder.

I said I wouldn’t scramble to buy a place JUST because the clock pressured me into it – and told him so. Without knowing more, my first instinct would be to choose whatever is more . . . “freeing”. Unable to help, offered to bump him into the forums, but he expressed apprehension. Mostly because hearing “man up” ( or too much tough love ) at a time like this can be disheartening and deflating.

When I offered to forward and post on his behalf to get your input, he was overwhelmed with graciousness and gratitude. Please accept thanks from him in advance. I hope Market~~~cher, Trader, or TaxGuy might be able to recommend – or anyone in the know.

Thank you very much on behalf of Joe.

———-

Tweeted earlier today:

Hello everyone, I’m a 42 year old divorced dad and I need to vacate my little one bedroom condo by April 30 or I can buy it. The cost is 42000. My landlord is not “kicking me out” per se, let me explain.

My child support payments doubled because reasons. After depleted my little savings and borrowing from my folks I was ok but now I’m one month behind. I have credit problems as I have a foreclosure and a car repo on my credit due to the divorce. I’m am loss and at my worst end.

I’m dipping into my 401k to pay my landlord the back rent. He will work with me and provide anything needed to help with the process. He was reluctant to write the notice as I am an excellent tenant and paid on time up until last month.

I asked for the eviction notice to submit it to my 401k to get a hardship withdrawal. Again he DID NOT want to do this but for me to get the withdrawal from my 401k he had to … to help me.

And I have No IDEA how my child support doubled when my ex took my son to live in Georgia. No court agreement. No court approval on the the move. Just up and left. We have 50% co-parenting and she being t be custodial parent. I have not seen my son in over a year.

– Thank you so much.
Joe

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[AncientwisdomParticipant 6089]

Keymaster wrote:

And I have No IDEA how my child support doubled when my ex took my son to live in Georgia. No court agreement. No court approval on the the move. Just up and left.

How is this possible? I’m not familiar with the laws or his situation, but if he doesn’t just hand over the new (double) payment to his wife, are they going to garnish his wages? That’s the first thing I would want to know. Barring his wages being garnished, I wouldn’t pay the new amount.

He’s in a tough situation, for sure. But there are much more viable options rather than trying to raise $45k to buy his current place – and that’s EXTREMELY cheap, does he have equity in the property/is it a trailer or something?

Plenty of people find places to rent who have poor credit. Renting a room from someone would be the easiest rout. Again, raising $45k to purchase his current place doesn’t sound like the most reasonable option, given his situation (barring some other circumstances like equity).

EDIT –

This guy is in survival mode. If he has a significant amount in his 401K then I would liquidate enough to get things situated.

Resident cynic.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Ancientwisdom wrote:

does he have equity in the property/is it a trailer or something?

Actually I don’t know more than that but, he has a link to this thread now and will check it periodically. I DID also ask if he has a nice car and can “uber” to work for 6 months or something. But he’s driving a company car so it’s not a factor.

Thanks for your reply.

NOTE: TFM showed up on twitter earlier to say it’s a sellers market and it looks like he’s going to have to look into downgrading. Personally I would rent , but he really wants it. Unfortunately, in this kind of situation, “do what you want” is just not on the menu.

Do what needs to be done.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Anonymous 54]

Missed child support payments mean jail.

Liveing cheap is priorty one.

Rent a dump.

Drive junk.

[AncientwisdomParticipant 6089]

Keymaster wrote:

Personally I would rent , but he really wants it. Unfortunately, in this kind of situation, “do what you want” is just not on the menu.

Do what needs to be done.

You know the source, not me, and I trust your judgement; but this situation just sounds strange to me. Is he trying to raise money or is he just looking for advice? Don’t want to bombard you w/questions as I know your just trying to help the guy, but this is what’s going through my head when I read this.

Resident cynic.

[TheSpiceParticipant 2644]

It’s a condo. And while $42k is dirt cheap, the condo may have exorbitant HOA fees. I know plenty in my area in the $600+ per month range, which puts your monthly payment right back up there.

It sickens me that he’s having to steal from his own retirement to cover the doubling of the child support. He needs a lawyer pronto! What she’s doing to him doesn’t seem legal to me.

"I've been thinking about what it would be like if we got back together."
"You know it's too late for that."

[Remove me!Participant]

Man, he sounds like he needs a good attorney. I’d drop the condo, and work on lowering those child support payments and getting more time with his son. You can always make more money later.

Like a bird on the wire, like a drunk midnight choir, I have tried in my way to be free.

[HitmanParticipant]

liquidate all assets.
take cash advances on credit cards as a last resort.
pay the bitch.
buy the place.
focus on the goal.
the answers will appear.
.
guy could get hit by a bus tomorrow…
he needs that $$$ TODAY.
..BEST of luck .
pray…
it can’t hurt !!!

[AkhilleusParticipant 2486]

How big is the place he wants to buy ? Also is he handy ? He can rent out some rooms to people he trusts we need to know more about his situation what’s the mortgage rate he’s locking in at ? Variable fixed ? He needs to talk to a finance professional what are the penalties for the withdrawal ? He has tax implications to consider to. So many variables.

Aloha means family you don't leave family behind. Who will be the next Draconarius for MGTOW? MGTOW = brothers = acceptance = belonging

[Anonymous 42]

Pray for a boating accident in Georgia!

[RomulusParticipant 4667]

I wouldn’t do the condo. Rent a dump that’s close to your work………or on a bus line.

Save money or pull for the 401K to set up your future, i.e., pay first moths rent and the deposit of cheap place.

Ask you current landlord if you can sign an agreement to pay back rent over three or four payments.

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.

[MattNYCParticipant 2329]

If making monthly rental payments is a challenge, then coming up with $40k+ is not realistic at this time. Buying a cheap car and living out of it + a cheap membership to a 24×7 gym (shower, bathroom) might be the least expensive option. Hell, it might be cheap enough that you can put some $$$ in to savings.

What you have is essentially a problem of cash flow. You need more earnings, or less expenses. I would investigate the child support increase. I would also rent an apartment (or a room in a house or whatever) for a cost that works with your current budget numbers.

Once you get back on your feet financially (pay off debts, have an emergency fund, etc.) then you can set you sights on a house/condo whatever.

[Secret Agent MGTOWParticipant 22548]

Not knowing anything else, I agree. Frugal needs to be the way to go for now.

Women want everything, but want responsibility and accountability for nothing.

[NerdTunnelerParticipant]

Survival before luxuries…NVM what other people or friends and acquaintance will think of the downgrade…He can recover the assets he lost later…For now, he needs to be frugal and survive so he can fight the c~~~ another day…Each day he survives is making him stronger to become better…Thats my 2 cents…

I stand with feet apart and let my balls hang free...Manginas dont have balls...See how they stand and sit at the whim of their masters...

[DarkRyuParticipant 2354]

It all depends on the numbers.

How much is his current rent?

How much is the HOA dues?

What is his current income minus expenses?

What is the cheapest rent he can find in his area?

Any other assets other than the 401K? If not, how much of the 401K can he access? Getting rid of a high monthly rent payment may be more beneficial than some hypothetical retirement decades down the road.

Speaking of which, how long until he retires? Can he build his 401K back up if he depletes it trying to get rid of the monthly rent payment?

What he wants is immaterial. All that matters are the numbers. If you don’t pay attention to the numbers, then you’re f~~~ed.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Ancientwisdom wrote:

You know the source, not me, and I trust your judgement; but this situation just sounds strange to me. Is he trying to raise money or is he just looking for advice? Don’t want to bombard you w/questions as I know your just trying to help the guy, but this is what’s going through my head when I read this.

I’ll always err on the side of taking something at face value – even to a flaw.

Appreciated OldHeyoka’s terse response too. “Scale down & deal.” Men can do that. Women can’t. Thats’ what I meant by “do what needs to be done”.

Have always said (to myself) if I’m living with a bitch and she’s intolerable, I wouldn’t even sleep in my own place that night or fight with her. I would happily check into a hotel ( or any dump ) for a while – even a park bench if I had to – and cut off the utilities. I’m not getting sucked in to a situation that wasn’t architected by me – at the hands of a woman.

So to deal with the above, I would remove stress first. If $42K is a purchase price . . . ( where is this? 500 miles from Vegas? ) . . . . what is a rent there? $400 a month?

There’s not even any “condo fees” – nor property tax – when you rent.
To me, the decision is already made.

I just wanted to do something for him. You guys have all been good enough to take a few minutes. Big thanks to you.

DarkRyu wrote:

It all depends on the numbers.
How much is his current rent?
How much is the HOA dues?
What is his current income minus expenses?
What is the cheapest rent he can find in his area?

Thats what I think too!

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[DarkRyuParticipant 2354]

Keymaster wrote:

There’s not even any “condo fees” – nor property tax – when you rent.
To me, the decision is already made.

I’ve never understood this mentality. Do you honestly think the landlord is just “eating” those taxes and fees? No! He bundles them into your monthly rent payment. Your monthly rent payment includes taxes, fees, HOA dues, depreciation, repairs, and if the landlord is lucky, a little bit of profit for him too. Even if there is no direct “profit” after he pays all his expenses for the property, you’re still making his payment for him and building equity for him.

The ONLY benefit you get from renting is flexibility. You have an opportunity to move once a year (assuming that you sign a year lease, which almost everyone requires these days). You end up paying MUCH more renting because you’re not building equity, and with the low interest rates these days, your rent payment will likely be higher than your mortgage payment if you buy the place. The only real downside to owning is you can’t just up and move on a whim like you can when you’re renting. And you have to deal with repairs, but honestly unless you’re buying an absolute dump that’s not a big concern. They money you save by having a mortgage and/or building equity MORE than makes up for any repairs you might have to do (again, unless you bought a dump that needs a ton of work).

[sidecarParticipant 35851]

It’s really hard to scale down from a one bedroom. Moreover it’s a condo, so it’s the worst of both worlds for rent. You “own” it so unless you pay cash you have to make monthly mortgage payments. Also property tax payments. But you still have to make monthly “rent” payments to the condo association. That’s not something I would invest in.

So here’s what I would do: abandon the condo dream. Find the cheapest possible place to rent, possibly shared housing or some such arrangement to minimize monthly expenses. DOCUMENT EVERYTHING! Then use any funds he saves to get a lawyer (try to see if the local MRAs can help there – maybe they might actually be good for something) and go after his c~~~ ex in court for a reduction of support based on his financial situation and demand mandatory visitation. In a lot of states it’s utterly f~~~ing illegal for women to up and move like that – but they won’t enforce those laws until you MAKE them enforce them.

More and more I am reminded of the wisdom of getting a vasectomy. Best decision I ever made. When I see how divorced men and fathers are forced to live I’m baffled why any man would sign up for that s~~~. And yet feminists and tradcons can’t seem to figure out why men are walking the f~~~ away from marriage and fatherhood?

DarkRyu wrote:

The ONLY benefit you get from renting is flexibility.

And also in this case minimalism. This is one of the situations where renting is better than buying. You can rent far far less than you can buy. You can rent a single bedroom in a house. You can’t buy a single bedroom.

And it seems to me like thus guy needs to be battling up for a support and custody case – for that he needs to minimize his paper assets. All the court would see is his name on the title, not the mortgage payments, taxed, condo fees, maintenance, etc.

[CarnageParticipant 22113]

Forget about the kid, he is gonna hate you Anyway.

Forget about the c~~~, take your passport and leave the country.

RUNNNNN

you owe nothing to anyone.

Desapear.

To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.

[Anonymous 43]

Carnage, not helping.

[Author]

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