Home › Forums › Introductions › 40 yo MD
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Arrowtotheknee 3 years, 5 months ago.
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I have been reading the forums for a few months now. I am not committed to any ideology as of now, but I can’t tell you what a relief it is to know I am not alone in my frustration and disappointment.
I am a doctor. I spent years of working nights to get through school, years of every 4th night sleepless during residency (before work hour restrictions!), years of self-denial to get to a point where I felt stable and financially secure before considering the idea of starting a family. During college, I was in the library nights and weekends. Ditto med school. Ditto residency. I wanted, still want, to be the best doc I can be. I’m now working in a successful private practice.
During school and training I also kept up a difficult physical regimen. I worked out regularly. Benched 400lbs. Ran 5 marathons. Did a 1/2 Ironman. I’m still at it – I stand 6’5, weigh 230 and have <10% body fat. I want my body to be the best it can be.
Since getting out of college, I’ve been told I am a “catch,” especially since becoming financially stable. I dated regularly, but did not start looking seriously for a long term relationship until finishing my training. Since then, it has been nightmarish.
I have experienced the following:
– 2 girlfriends that stopped taking their birth control pill without telling me. Both times I got suspicious after they uncharacteristically started asking me to come inside them during sex.
– 1 girlfriend that I discovered had lied about getting STD testing after her last relationship. Like responsible adults, prior to having unprotected sex, we discussed all the risks and potential consequences and I got lab tested for everything. So did she (I thought – in retrospect it seems embarrassingly foolish to trust…). Wasn’t until 3 months later that she said something about being afraid of needles and not having a needle stick for years. What about, y’know, the tests you had for STDs when we started hooking up? Oh, they did it without a blood draw. <<Record screech>> Long story short, she continued to insist that she had “every test possible including HIV” without a blood draw. We both got REAL tests done. She was + for HSV1 and 2. Thankfully I tested negative for everything.
– 1 girlfriend that I broke up with after finding out that she had fabricated the facebook profiles of the men that were constantly messaging her and propositioning her, borderline stalking her, telling her that they knew me and that I was cheating on her.
– 1 girlfriend that after about 10 months gave me an ultimatum of either living together and moving towards marriage or splitting up, which turned me sour on the relationship entirely, and I ended it. A few weeks later she wrote me a long email to tell me that she was pregnant with our child but would be getting an abortion and that she did not want me involved in any way. She sent pictures of her positive pregnancy test and confirmatory lab tests. I was emotionally wrought enough – how much did I believe her? – entirely! Again, in retrospect, it seems incredibly foolish. She called me “from the Planned Parenthood” to let me know she was going through with it. Sent pictures of her perspective on the stretcher. I later learned that there are websites, multiple sites, where women can get pictures of positive pregnancy tests, including different size, shape, and skin tone hands holding them to make it more convincing, as well as images of lab test result sheets. The “pre-abortion” picture was apparently taken after feigning an illness and going to the ER, just to take the picture with medical equipment.
– 1 girlfriend that I broke up with after trying and trying to make it work. The reason I ended it was that despite her initial behavior (fun, outgoing, outdoorsy), she quickly became a couch potato and started gaining weight as soon as we became monogamous. Trying to encourage healthier activity, exercise or sports or hikes or…anything together other than Netflix got shot down over and over. I ended it kindly and clearly with no games. No criticisms, just stating that I didn’t think we were compatible and didn’t think things were going to change. I still cared about her a lot, and I’m sure she knew it. A few weeks later, I got a detailed suicide note via text notification, then email CCd to all of our friends. I drove at high speed across the city while activating EMS. Arrived at her apartment to find EMS had taken her to the ER. Drove in a panic to the hospital hoping they had been able to resuscitate her, that she had not absorbed the meds in sufficient dose to kill her, to damage her liver, to cause brain damage. In a blind sheer panic ran into the ER to find that she had called EMS to transport her “for a severe migraine.” In other words, had faked the whole thing. The friends that looked CC’d on the email didn’t get it – that was faked too.Despite all of this, my friends that know the stories continue to tell me “There’s someone out there for you!” I have pretty much lost hope of finding happiness with a wife, with a life partner. I feel like I have lost the ability to trust women. It feels horrible letting go of the hope I had during my whole life – building a strong personal and professional foundation with the ultimate goal of following a traditional path – my family has always been close-knit and loving and supportive, and I always saw myself ending up with a good wife and children.
Thanks for reading. Thank you to the men who have shared their stories and wisdom here. I get some succor from knowing that my plight is not unique, and that there are men who have gone through similar disappointment and anguish and adapted to the lunacy of the modern world, even if it is by stepping away from it.
Anonymous18Welcome Dr. Lingo
You are young, successful and great shape. If where you are in life because of the false promise of a loving wife and happy family then I can tell you with 100% certainty that that belief of yours was the best blessing in disguise.
You actually have the resources to live and enjoy the fine pleasures of life that good education and income bring forth.
Women are still out there. As Keymaster says they are like trashcans. Spread across – everywhere. The belief of a woman who can love and respect ONE man is lunacy, a cancer to male psyche. To excise that blue pill tumor is the essence of red pill living.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Yes we’ve all had our dreams of a family shattered by the bitter truth.
Lucky for you, you’re in a great position with plenty of OPTIONS.
If you’re deadset on a family, I recommend surrogacy. $100,000 is a small price to pay for the piece of mind. Hire a nanny to help you out.
Because of your high status and net worth, you have a near 90% chance of losing everything you have worked so hard for if you involve yourself with a female.
Women will only bring you down.
Personally I’ve chosen celibacy, which I find keeps me strong, happy and full of vitality. Sex is overrated.
Go to fleshlight.com – there you will find the tools you need to turn off the lizard brain.
Not my property... Not my problem
Anonymous42“There’s someone out there for you!”
Nice Introduction Lingo, I hit the wall with women at 35 years old, believe me “there’s no one out there for you” the paradigm has completely changed, top to bottom, left to right, everything good down the drain, men no longer control women, they control themselves under the full force of law, a law that has been molested since the 1860s’ when a man’s children were considered a man’s property, exclusively his, that’s why we’re given patriarchal sir names.
Now it’s become a matriarchal monopoly where a woman holds the children ransom, enjoys her extended freedoms, at the same time stealing his children, stealing his wealth, and stealing his future earnings, sometimes stealing his freedom.
It’s become so upside down the only way to avoid their new found freedom coupled with their new found power is to not fall victim to this transformation, it ruined women by giving them to power to be the worst thing for men.
MRAs (men’s rights associations) have been battling a greasy wet slope to stop this endless decay. 50 years of fighting and all they have to show for it is allot of lost ground.
The time has come for men to stop fighting and simply walk away.
I never regretted closing the door on the thought of happiness and delight somehow coming from a modernized woman.
My door is locked and boarded shut to keep these legal zombies out. They use the law to manipulate, extort, ensnare, and utterly ruin men, including our once-upon-a-time children and family.
It’s all dust now, only zombies roam these lands…
Anonymous24Damn, so the horrors persist even when you are a giant stud doctor with money…
Sounds about right.
Glad to have you here Lingo. It seems like you have more bullets to dodge than the average Joe.
Good grief you have been through the ringer. And you have worked hard. Enjoy your salary and the lifestyle that you have attained to; you’ve certainly earned it. Welcome aboard here and we all look forward to getting to know each other better and sharing more and becoming the best we can be.
"Shot through the heart, and you're to blame, You give love a bad name, I play my part and you play your game, You give love a bad name."--Bon Jovi
Good Sweet Christ, Doc! And I though I had dodged some bullets.
Glad to see you’ve come through it all hale, hearty, and financially intact.
As for children, you’re perfectly set up to go the surrogacy route. You’re still relatively young, are a degreed professional, make good money (after student loans I hope!), are in good physical condition, etc., etc. Even better, you work in the industry that deals with the biological nuts & bolts of surrogacy.
Welcome to the forum and hope to see you around the various boards.
Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.
I’ve been told I am a “catch,”
This is how women think of men. As fish. Without bicycles.
When women lead, destruction is the destination. -- Me.
Why did you become a Doctor in the first place? To become a “good catch” for women? I don’t think so. I have to assume you became a doctor because it is both fascinating and you can help people make good choices in their healthcare.
Right now, focus on your practice. You are a new Red Pill and most men who have choked down the Red Pill usually wind up going MGTOW for a while. It gives you some calm while you digest your situation and decide how to go forward.
If you decide to jump back into the piranha pool, remember, as far as 75% of the women out there, you have HUGE value. Doctor = Money, Money, Money Princess lifestyle. If you are a religious person look for a woman who shares your religious values. The odds are more in your favor you might find a woman who really believes in the traditional family. You are looking for a TradCon relationship but unfortunately most western women have been brainwashed by the feminist indoctrination in schools or a Gold-digger looking to trap you marry you, put in 5-10 years and then take “half”.
Always remember, women are in the game to win. They will use emotional manipulation, lying, deceit, and use every aspect of their SMV to lock you into a legally binding contract where you bring all your skills, money and social value and in return she brings her eggs, and if you are really lucky, her companionship.
Read the articles, watch the video’s take the information and arm yourself with knowledge. You are an MD, you are use to research. 🙂
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion, it is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning; it is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
Doc,
So much wisdom already shared that I can’t add to that. But in reference to all the crazy you have met;
I know this exact personality “– 1 girlfriend that I broke up with after finding out that she had fabricated the facebook profiles of the men that were constantly messaging her and propositioning her, borderline stalking her, telling her that they knew me and that I was cheating on her.”
The pathology of these women is so deep you will go nuts trying to understand it. So don’t.
Welcome. You lucky bastard… you have dodged well.
Just take a good hard look at all your female patients in their 50’s and ask yourself if you want to be married to one of them in 15 years.
That should cure you.
Welcome home brother.
Order the good wine
Hey doc..
Welcome.
My own personal doctor is an awesome guy. .
I council HIM when I see him because of the divorce he’s going through. .
It’s going to rob him of more than half of his assets. ..
Avoid that at all costs. .
Glad you found this great site!Great introduction Dr. Lingo.
Definitely looking forward to reading your observations and comments."It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."
Welcome Doc, like you say it’s sad really.
But the landscape is the landscape, as has been said you are well set up for future , learning the truth is sad but way better than 3 divorces and a miserable life.
Let the unicorn hunters have that rubbish.
Thank you for the welcome.
As Chir writes, I didn’t become a doc to get women, but on some level, the consideration of a vague future plan as a husband and dad has always been guiding my life and efforts. Reading philosophy, trying to answer the question, “What is the good life?” I’ve always pictured my grandfather in the days of my childhood summer vacations, sitting on the beach surrounded by extended family and telling stories and teaching me how to fish, how to use a pocketknife, how to fix things. On some level, I’ve lived my life striving towards a goal of sufficient ability and stability where I could provide for a family like he did. Although it is a nebulous, poorly defined dream, it’s something I always assumed would start taking shape and clarifying as I grew up. I just needed a good, righteous woman to work with me towards that goal of a good, happy life, with love and family at the center. These women I wrote about above, they initially seemed like good people who might have shared that journey. I didn’t go into those relationships lightly or merely for superficial or lustful reasons. It’s scary to contemplate how easily I’ve been led to misjudge. Perhaps scarier to consider how much I overestimated my own ability to judge whether someone is an honest, upright, loveable person. And it is very unsettling to contemplate a future without the goal, however vague, of settling down and living a loving life and providing for loved ones.
Just earn bundles as Stealth says invest in Real Estate , your money will grow rapidly as a Doc I would assume ..
No need to create a goal yet, take time out mentally don’t think too much in time I am sure you will see a way forward.I am a good few years older than you, I found this later in life … Glad I have but its hard to unlearn a lifetimes conditioning..
Anonymous5Welcome and thank you for sharing a piece of your life with us. It was a thought provoking read that brought back the mixed feelings of discovering the reality of modern gynocentrism.
It feels horrible letting go of the hope I had during my whole life – building a strong personal and professional foundation with the ultimate goal of following a traditional path
I always saw myself ending up with a good wife and children.
This is by far the most bitter, soul destroying aspect of the truth.
It can leads to temporary but severe depression, and there’s no easy way to get through it. The sense of loss of life purpose is almost all encompassing. We all wanted the fairy tale too and most were more than willing to pay whatever price it took.The good news is that the bad times don’t last. You don’t have to go looking for other open doors, they just eventually appear.
Take it real easy on yourself in the mean time.Once your lizard brain has accepted that the prospects of the traditional nuclear family are beyond remote in a social media millennial Kardashian world, then you’ll get a sense of peace and ease you probably didn’t expect to have in this life.
At the risk of sounding juvenile, it’s immensely uber cool.
Enjoy the forums.
Anonymous18Perhaps scarier to consider how much I overestimated my own ability to judge whether someone is an honest, upright, loveable person.
Don’t beat yourself up. Women have had a few hundred thousand years to master the art of man-ipulation. She is extremely talented at firing up those dopaminergic neurons – and I don’t think you can dissociate physical attraction, elements of lust with objective study of a woman’s character. There is a reason ugly women don’t make the cut for honest and loveable persons. Even babies shy away from ugly faces. And my ex called me ugly so no offence to ugly f~~~s including myself.
As long as us men have sex drive IN COMBINATION with the blue pill hypnosis – we will misjudge women. Every. Single. Time.
Key to happiness is either give up on women/sex altogether or have sex after swallowing the red pills whole. Day in and day out. If latter, you will inadvertently f~~~ a few wives or girlfriends but its better than being the unsuspecting love-struck husband with 3 kids.
Warmest Welcome Lingo;
I am a MD a well (mid-late 30s); there are a few of us here.
I was married for a short time until she cheated and monkey branched for a more exciting Chad. I deluded myself into thinking the sunny Sunday’s on the beach with my grandchildren was going to be a reality. It is not with modern women and feminism – they are all like that. The risk you take with a marriage/LTR is not worth the reward.
I avoid the financial raping by having a prenup, no children, and a very short marriage. I got lucky. You did too. Enjoy for freedom; I’m learning to enjoy mine.
- Marriage is described as an institution. You would have to be crazy to be commited to it. -"If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal. Not people or things" Albert Einstein
Another MD here; late 40s, recently divorced, 2 kids.
6 years undergrad, 11 years post-grad education. I have four post-graduate fellowships. I have recently reduced my hours to work 50-60h/wk and do on-call 24/7 one week in four.
Just went through divorce mediation today. Offered my ex (an RN who chooses to work 16 hours per week and earns about 10% of my salary) 90% of our joint assets and half of my superannuation. She wanted me to continue paying the mortgage on ‘her’ house for another 7 years so she could “get back on her feet”. Needless to say I told her to GTFO.
Kids are great, but given your experiences I would look into surrogacy.
Do not co-habitate, and whatever you do, do not get married. It’s a lose-lose for a stable high-income earner.
Good luck!
NGE
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