Hi @mgtow_taoist. I just wanted to write and say I totally get where you’re at.
For what they’re worth I thought I’d share some thoughts and ideas.
I’m 36 years old, ex-military (Australian) and I served in the Middle East twice between 2001 and 2003. Ever since I got out of the military 5 years ago I’ve found it very hard to define who I am and understand what I’m about and why am I here.
For most of my adult life (starting at the age of 17) being in uniform automatically decided those things for me. I never gave these things a second thought – but when you get out, you loose your job, your income, your sense of identity and purpose in life all in one huge hit. You don’t appreciate what those things mean until you don’t have them anymore, and it’s really hard to find them in the unchartered waters of civilian life. And it’s even harder trying to explain to people who haven’t walked in your shoes – or experienced what you have – the sadness, isolation, malaise, anxiety and confusion you constantly feel. You’re right. It does lead to a lack of motivation and for me it also makes me continually indecisive and unsettled.
I miss so much about my military service. I miss my mates above all else, but I also miss putting on my uniform every day and feeling a part of something bigger than me. It’s hard living without the structure and safety net that military service gives you.
To be honest, I do think about going back in. Frequently. But I know deep down that it would be a regressive step and it’s not the long term answer. Time only ever moves forward and sometimes winding back the clock is the worst thing you can do. I’ve moved on in life. Like you, I’ve done a higher degree, become a professional and am using these things to invest in my future.
I’ve tried many times to make plans and stick to them. It’s essential to have some form of planning and strategy, but I’ve learned through experience not to be too rigid or to hold myself accountable to them – because invariably things will change and it’s usually as a result of things you have no control over. You need to have a broad strategy of where you’d like to be, how much you want it and what your values are. It sounds like you’ve already got that sorted, which is great, because without those things you’ll never have a chance of get started. But I’d encourage you to have at least one back up plan (preferably more) and be in a position to respond to change with minimal impact on you. You never know what’s around the corner and even the best laid plans can go to s~~~ in the blink of an eye.
So far as happiness is concerned? Don’t rely on others to bring you happiness. The chances are that they won’t. Be true to yourself. Choose your friends wisely by investing in those worth your time and discarding those who aren’t. Be open minded but not so open that your brain falls out. I try to find happiness in the purest or simplest of experiences – nature, health and fitness, cycling, contemplating the universe, music and art. They’re all individual pursuits, but also things that you can share with others if and when you’re ready. I think this is part of the essence of MGTOW and thus the route to enlightenment.
Have you seen the Ridley Scott film “Prometheus”? The final line in the film (when Elizabeth and David take off in the Engineer’s spacecraft from LV-223) is “my name is Elizabeth Shaw. Last survivor of the Prometheus. And I am still searching”. The craft floats above the atmosphere and then shoots off into the darkness of space.
I’m somewhere on that interstellar voyage. I’m not sure if it will lead to Paradise or not. But I do I know that the course I chart and the people I bring with me on the voyage will be my decisions to make – and mine alone.
Whatever you’re searching for, never give up. You never know what is around the corner and what life will bring.
I hope you find it.
Peace.
Ozymandias 2 years, 7 months ago.
