2 Years After Divorce – ex trying to take children

NoMore wrote:

Fight for your kids. If you lose, you can die knowing you tried. My ex is doing her damndest to alienate me from my son. Tonight, I told him I loved him and in his 3 y/o voice, he said ‘I love you too daddy.’ I was speechless.
I have had rabid thoughts of just giving up. It’ll just be easier to let go. But, I love my son and don’t want him to relive/accept the cycle his mother went through.

Man, thanks for your words. I know exactly what you mean about hearing “I love you” from your 3 year old. Absolutely melts a guy.

I am definitely fighting brother and am glad to know you are too. I got my 2nd hour long visit last Thursday (on my oldest son’s 8th birthday). We had such a good time and that hour flew by. When I got back to my office I was notified that the ex had now filed a motion to change custody and have the kids exclusively. So now I have no idea if I will have my court date (on Sept 25th) to deal with the separation orders, or if this new custody motion will supercede and add another 3 weeks to this garbage process.

And the system further proves it’s ineptitude.

Just found out that the hearing on my protection orders next Tuesday will be nothing more than a formality. Apparently, since my ex has piled on a motion to change custody, the same judge will need to hear both the protection order case as well as the custody change case. The judge for next Tuesday is not the same judge scheduled for the custody hearing. What’s even worse is that the custody hearing isn’t scheduled until Dec 5th. So 30 days without my kids suddenly turns into 90+ days, along with zero relief on the original protection order matters. What an equitable way of finding justice. Completely cut off one parent so the other can coach, groom, and manipulate 3 young boys to a woman’s will.

Ain’t state sponsored parental alienation great!?

narwhal wrote:

Your ex is basically going into this armed with bruises that she can’t prove at due to you and the fact that she’s a woman. That is enough to win, but only if you have nothing on your side.
I would look into hiring an investigator to do background checks on your ex and your exes lover, maybe even monitor them legally for awhile. If there is a police record or something that points to being unfit parents, you have something. I’d also make sure to record every conversation I have with the ex. And I would repeated ask her why she is doing this. I wouldn’t be surprised if she admits to ulterior motives, believing that there is no way it can be used against her case.
Although it sucks that you have 90 days till the hearing. the silver lining is that you have more time to gather evidence.

Thank you. I actually know very about her lover and can imagine she has something to hide. I did hear this woman refer to “children that she has in Texas”. This woman owns the home that my ex moved into so there might be something worth investigating there for sure.

A close relative reminded me recently that my ex used to extol my virtue as a husband and father on Facebook all the time. I couldn’t believe how many posts she hasn’t deleted where she praises me for things she now claims I never did. Sadly though, she never said these things to my face. Anyway, here are three examples. There are at least 20 more. The one dated Dec 31st of 2015 was just 6 months before she ran off!

Yeah, figured one of those was going to slip. I’ve got nothing to hide from this community though:)

Had my first good piece of legal news come my way this morning!
The hearing that is set for next Tuesday was shifted to the same judge that will be hearing the custody change motion in Dec. So now I at least know that the protection orders will get dealt with next Tuesday. I’m also being told that it is likely a “home study” will be the default position the court will take on the matter. I kept the family home after the divorce to help provide some normalcy for my boys. I cant say that the thought wasn’t also in the back of my mind that I may have to go through a home study at some point, so that was another motivation not to sell. Plus, the state will get to perform all of their background checks and something may come up about this woman my ex is shacking up with that may establish previously unknown insights. Maybe it just provides peace of mind; I would welcome either.

To say I’m pretty surprised by what took place in court yesterday is an understatement.
I was completely exonerated of any domestic abuse accusations by a level headed judge yesterday!

Not only that, but the (female) judge went as far as to justify my use of corporal punishment in the instance that was the catalyst for my ex to write her protection orders.
The judge stated that 30 years ago we would have never had spanking issues even being thought of being brought before a court. She continued by saying that child psychologists and rearing professionals are in a heated debate over the use of corporal punishment as a means of discipline. She went on, thankfully it is not up to the court to to determine the answer in that argument, but rather to determine if domestic abuse has occurred and this isn’t abuse (end quote). She said “this isn’t abuse” while holding the photo of my youngest son that had been furnished to her at the beginning of the hearing.

Another couple of things to point out: My lawyer had the idea that it might be best to try and come to an agreement with my ex and her lawyer with the intent to enable my kids to attend my sisters wedding in 2 weeks. The thought was that maybe we could get them to agree to allow the TPOs to stay in place but return to our normal 50/50 schedule until the hearing on the motion to change custody in December. The caveat would have been that I would promise to use no corporal punishment during this time under the threat of arrest if I didn’t follow the court order. This ate into 20 minutes of the one hour we had in front of the judge. When my ex was called back by her lawyer to discus the proposal, my ex stubbornly declined and returned to the court room loaded for bear. In the end when everything was totally thrown out AND SHE GOT NOTHING, it was definitely twice as sweet. My ex’s lesbian lover was sequestered in the witness chambers the whole time and was not heard from. My ex’s lawyer was going to call her as a witness to attest to seeing this “bruise” on my sons behind. Instead, she just got to sit in radio silence for an hour to be suddenly greeted by a weeping partner whose dreams were dashed in one fail swoop.

Needless to say, it turned out to be a VERY good day. Leaving work early to get my kids when they are out of school this afternoon:)

Gravel Pit wrote:

Congratulation. You’re a good dad man. What a back stabbing woman that you have to deal with. In time, you will find that your sons do not want to live with lesbians. They’d rather live with their Dad! I think the tables are going to turn, and she will be paying child support when those kids decide they do not want to live with their mother. Good luck

Thanks brother! I really would prefer the boys have both parents in the picture. However, if mom keeps up this current pace, I won’t discourage my boys from avoiding her.

NoMore wrote:

Congratulations TLTB!! Your justice gives me hope. My judge screwed me and my ex is jerking me around on everything. I’ve filed motions to amend my decree, but will likely end up in appellate court. I’m still fighting her to see my son. Tried to work with her for the holiday schedule and was stonewalled. I’m afraid it’s going to get ugly in the meantime as I exercise my full legal rights. Keep on brother.

Keep fighting and take care of yourself brother! I hope you have a lawyer that is on your team and is invested in you and what’s best for your son. Make sure you don’t do anything that bolsters her case against you. Make your reasonableness evident to all, if for no other reason than to have your son back in the way you see fit. Pulling for you man!