2 Years After Divorce – ex trying to take children

So it’s been 2 years since my ex ran off, served me papers, took our 3 boys and moved in with her lesbian lover. I was able to keep the family home and achieve 50/50 joint custody. I live in South Dakota so I still have to pay child support, but it’s a bargain compared to what I had to pay to “keep a wife”. We have had (what I thought was) a cordial co-parent situation until 2 weeks ago I get a random call from CPS saying they needed to talk to me about “bruises” on my 3 year old son. My boys are 3, 6, and 8(today!). Naturally I’m thinking something bad has happened to my son so I’m all ears. Slowly I begin to realize that I’m being investigated because my children receive discipline in the form of open hand spankings (while fully clothed) on rare occasions when they are in my care. I have never left bruises or caused ANY injuries on my children.

I get to the point of the conversation where I inform the CPS worker that I have signed 3 “incident reports” at daycare over the last 10 days and she quickly changes her tune and tells me she’s calling the police detective assigned to this case and will call me back soon. The next call I receive is from the police detective. Apparently my 3 yr old son was taken (by my ex) to a facility called “Child’s Voice” and pictures were taken of his little left buttock on which a 4 inch lateral bruise could be seen. Since my son was in my care over the weekend, and his older brothers had informed mom that he had received a spanking from me, she swiftly sought to make hay out of the deal and accuse me of child abuse.

Now everything comes full circle as to what I’m up against and what’s actually happened here. The detective then offers me some solace by letting me know that he and the states attorney have viewed these photos and dismissed them. He said there was no question this doesn’t meet the requirements for any charges to be brought against me. The detective also called the daycare and found that there had actually been 8 incident reports on my 3 yr old son between Aug 1st and Aug 29th for either causing or being on the receiving end of physical altercations. Just when I start to feel a little better about the whole thing, the detective clues me in to what he knows is going to hit me next. He informs me that my ex-had just taken out 3 protection orders to keep me away from my kids for 30 days. I didn’t even know this could happen without some sort of due process. I was totally blown away by the constraints of these orders; no phone calls or contact of any kind.

THIS IS STATE SPONSORED PARENTAL ALIENATION
I got a lawyer the very next day and began gathering all evidence to refute my ex’s erroneous claims. I found a treasure trove on her Facebook page just by searching my name. She used to extol my virtue as a father and husband right up to the point she fell in love with her girlfriend and decided I had to be made out to be the enemy. I was very surprised to find this stuff wasn’t deleted. The other thing I did the next day was fill out intake paperwork at my local Family Visitation Center so I could see my children during this process. Talk about a humbling process. I now get to see my boys for one hour a week. Today is actually my oldest sons 8th birthday and I thank God I’ll get to at least watch him open gifts and tell him I love him. Last week was my first hour long “session” and the time absolutely flew by.

My court date is the 25th of this month and I hope something constructive comes from it. I don’t have any expectations with regards to the behavior of my ex but I hope something causes her to pause before pulling this again in the future. The oldest boys have gizmo gadget watch/phones that their mother has turned off so my side of the family has had basically zero contact with them. I still can’t believe this one size fits all approach to restraining orders, especially when it comes to removing parent from their children. I know it could be worse and am glad I’m not still married to this woman because I would then be restrained from my own home.

Would appreciate any tips, knowledge, advice on this situation as it’s all new territory for me. I am not speaking with CPS before this initial court date and am keeping records and recording conversations as I go. No criminal record, take no meds……….

-Thanks