13 Lies Men Tell Themselves to Stay in Bad Relationships

I have told myself all of these ….. and more.

Looking back …. the only idiot in that life was me….. and everyone else also knew.

The only good thing is that I’m now free. Still an idiot …. but a free one ?

Abusive women and men are liars, inveterate, pathological liars. Their lies will hurt you and engender profound feelings of betrayal, so don’t compound matters by lying to yourself. “Sunlight is said to be the best of disinfectants; electric light the most efficient policeman” (Justice Louis D. Brandeis). Once you acknowledge the truth and reality of your relationship and exactly who and what your partner is, you can no longer lie to yourself. And that is the first step towards healing.

The first step toward MGTOW!

Grumpy wrote:

Guilty as charged. I probably told myself more lies than those though. The biggest lie was thinking I was in control. That stopped the second the thought of how much jail time, and other ramifications for my only child would follow, if I just snapped my last exe’s f~~~ing neck. I almost lost it.
I packed as much of my daughter’s and my stuff into my truck and got the f~~~ out of dodge. Too much manipulation and mental/verbal abuse from her towards my daughter and I. I was trained to recognize no win situations and act accordingly, yet I put up with it. I realized it was time to husband my resources, and withdraw to live and fight another day. I have refused any “serious” LTRs since. I would rather die alone and happy.
Some people may say “A better man” would have handled it different. I decided a better man can have her

Well said Grumps ?

Number 4 and number 10 resonate with me. Relationships are wrought with conflict and women use it as an excuse to breed as much of it as they can to create disorder and establish dominance. Then when it all dies down and the man is exhausted from the bs the woman declares that love has conquered all and their relationship has triumphed while ignoring the war casualties the man suffered. This was me for 2 years and I am happy as hell to be free from it. Time to recover lost ground.

I did all of these but 6, 7, & 12.

6. Sex and affection ARE that important.

7. The sex wasn’t any good anymore let alone frequent. A calendar that measured the solstices and equinoxes was needed.

12. I didn’t give a s~~~ if she needed me or not. I was just trying to salvage the relationship for the sake of our kids.

Number 6, 9 and 13 were the ones that I am guilty of caving to. 13 was the one when I was probably the biggest mangina on the face of the planet. I look back on that now and feel embarrassed. Why should I worry about people thinking I am a bad guy? Only HER family and friends probably thought that and the only one I was married to was her. Who cares what the other knuckleheads thought? Obviously at the time, I did. Number 9 was a big one for me to get over. I filed for divorce in 2008 but I was already thinking about it as early as 2002. At the time, I didn’t want to give up the equity we had in the house and the money in the bank and retirement accounts. Dumb move on my part because I wound up losing even more when I finally took the red pill and saw clearer. By staying, we were merely accumulating more wealth and assets that she would ultimately get. In 2008 the retirement accounts were worth more and the house was paid off. By waiting so long, I simply made HER a richer person.

At my parents church, the pastor justifies men’s marriages with these types of reasons. It basically boiled down to “marriage isn’t supposed to be all that enjoyable, God is testing your ability to remain committed to the woman”. Then after all that they try to tell young people like me how great marriage is. Yeah… sure it is.

Guilty of 2,3,4,5,7, 12 and 13.

2) Theirs a saying the only sober males that are happily married are the ones who’ve convinced themselves they’re happy when they’re actually miserable.

4) She uses the excuse of everyone fights and all girls are like me as an excuse but I’ve come to realize that doesn’t mean I have to be ok with it. I’m so stupid, I wish I had found about MGTOW years ago.

3&5) are both the same thing but I figure if I try to be nicer and more attentive to her needs things will get better but she expects it and doesn’t appreciate it at all. I bought flowers as an apology and she got angry threw them on the ground and stomped on them. She was angry I didn’t buy her a material like clothing. This just happened and I’m not going to forget this which is the final straw i’ll pull once the holidays are over.

7) Think we’ve had sex twice since my birthday a month ago, might have actually been once. The worst part is i’m 22 not 50.

12) I definitely feel responsible for her and that she wont be able to fend for herself without me. That she might commit suicide and the guilt might kill me as well.

13) I’m worried mostly about her and my parents thinking about me. Especially because we broke up once before and my phone was getting assaulted by her parents. Her parents even called my parents and manipulated me into giving this another chance. It’s been 9 months and I can’t believe how stupid I am after all the guts it took to get out of the relationship the first time.

I know that I can’t get married.

Tiga K wrote:

At my parents church, the pastor justifies men’s marriages with these types of reasons. It basically boiled down to “marriage isn’t supposed to be all that enjoyable, God is testing your ability to remain committed to the woman”. Then after all that they try to tell young people like me how great marriage is. Yeah… sure it is.

I used to wonder if there was some conspiracy against me to trick me into thinking marriage would be great. I now know that it was a conspiracy- of those men to lie to themselves. In short, the Pastor is saying that “God is Trolling you” by ordering men to get married or live as monks.

Is it any wonder why young men are leaving churches in large numbers ?

Fantastic article! Whole lotta Red Pill there. Every one of those, not involving children, I told myself. Another of my favorites was, “She has never hit me or tried to hurt me physically, so I’m not abused.”