"You're boring"

[VictorParticipant 124]

This thread is about how people drip poison into the minds of introverted boys and how it shapes and moulds their self-perceptions and stunts them.

Age gives you wisdom after the event, and I can now see that the verbal put-downs were part of the mindless blue pill manipulation tricks that I allowed to get to me when I was young.  That was the whole aim – they were intended to turn me into a Blue Piller.  In my case, it didn’t work, at least not fully.  I largely retained my individuality, and that is my victory, but it came at a price.

I grew up among people who were not like me.  I was intellectual and bookish and interested in academic achievement, and I was psychologically bullied and excluded for this, which had a long-term effect on me into my 20s and 30s.  The mind is moulded by early experiences, and it’s difficult to change this unless you have support or guidance from wiser heads.  I should have been seeking out peers, people my own age, who were more like me, but I grew up in an environment of little money and few horizons and I was boxed-in.  I allowed others – idiots, unambitious and unintelligent people –  to define me and demoralise me, and my life went down the drain, my potential stunted and my talents left to rust.

In hindsight, I can see two things:

1. I needed guidance and support from a strong male mentor, but this was lacking.  I grew up believing my father was a strong person: a handy, blue collar man’s man in some ways, which contrasted sharply with my nature and created conflict and tension between us.  I can now see that my father was in fact a weak man, like all the men around me.  I was made to think I was the weak one, the boring one, the pathetic one, the outcast.  In reality, I was the nascent strong man, but this strength didn’t flower.  MGTOW puts this properly in perspective.

2. Most of the poison and put-downs came from women/girls around me – “You’re boring”, “You never talk”, etc. – or from unintelligent blue pill men: schoolyard psycho-bullies and my own father, then later people in the workplace (mostly female).  Working with women is a nightmare.  In reality, they were the boring ones and I was the interesting one, but I took their comments to heart and allowed it to define me and create this self-loathing.  This happened because I was not educated in this important subject: there was no web back then, no coherent concept of MGTOW that men got together and discussed, so I had no reference point for understanding what I was going through.

It was like being psychologically tortured and blaming myself for it rather than blaming the perpetrators.

What now?  I’m not sure.  I am at the age now where I care little for women other than for satisfying any chemical/hormonal need I might have for sex.  I believed I could love a woman but now I don’t think I can.  The behaviour of my cold, abusive mother has been put into perspective by MGTOW.  I sought therapy over the years, but the therapists were female, and I can now see why they had no understanding of my problem.  Women are shallow and are totally lacking in empathy.

[JackinovParticipant 5229]

At least you’re still alive! That’s what counts; you can follow whatever your interests are without interference.

are you a chia pet in man drag

[RoyDalParticipant]

I will bet Joseph Lister, Claude Shannon, John von Neumann, Alan Turing, Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein, and Nikola Tesla were all boring. So, exactly how many popular kids went on to advance science and mathematics and the general good of mankind?

@StargateSG, Good point!

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[ILiveAgainParticipant]

Came to England as a poor Irish immigrant kid. Had the crap beat out of me at school due my accent and Bobbie Sands hunger strikes.

Every day I was beaten as teacher looked on.

I escaped in books …. flash gordon … bleep and booster …. marvel etc but also ‘speed and sound’ tech magazines.

In one of those I read about a guy that fought back. I fought back at school the next day … and for almost two weeks after …. I was black and blue but so were they ☺

I kept a low profile from then on and have been happier when alone.

Back then it was The Irish, Africans, Indians and Jews …. they all coped it one after another ….. now it’s just all males of the above nations and then some.

But … I’m still here … like a c~~~roach …. and I see other men doing the same.

This is a good thing ☺

[GunslingerParticipant 242]

Congratulations on surviving my friend…it’s tough being that guy that took his school work seriously and turned down having the so called “cool” life during high school, college etc. But like roydal mentioned, all of those men were probably considered boring as well, but w/o them we wouldn’t have some of the great things we have today.

I was the guy that put his head into his books all the way up until my senior year of highschool. Then I became the “cool” guy and it carried over into college. Guess what, I was kicked out of the first college I went to. That’s one of the things being the cool guy gets you, nothing. Only thing I have to thank my blood sucking wife for is that she pulled me out of it and got me back in line. Other than that she just basically drained me for everything else…but I survived and will come out of this in a much better situation.

[Level UpperParticipant 0]

I’ll bet that many men here share with you similar experiences as they matured.  I’m no different.  However, I don’t think many of us would stand here as MGTOWs if we hadn’t:  you cannot see the truth without having first struggled.  Indeed, many of the trials we’ve endured were unnecessary, and a proper mentor would have replaced them.  I suppose my point is that blaming them, the perpetrators, has no value other than to resolve your anger, and this value is short-term at best.  And what now?  I think that maybe, for those of us men that have reached real self-sufficiency, we should be those proper mentors.

[RusskyParticipant 13503]

“You’re boring” just means that you’re not a clown, but a serious dude. Which is something I would take as a compliment

proud carrier of the 'why?' chromosome

[mrpropmechParticipant 216]

You’re boring can also mean you don’t want to go out and spend money whether it be at a bar, club or etc. for some reason people seem to think doing things involves cliched ways to blow a lot of money.

[Omega 3 Snake OilParticipant 29]

Victor wrote:

Women are shallow and are totally lacking in empathy.

 

Yep. That’s pretty well all you gotta know. They are designed to seek male economic and social provision first and foremost.

 

[Mango IngawayParticipant 2264]

Victor wrote:

“You’re boring”, “You never talk”

I never really liked school once I went past the age of 12. I like learning about things by myself, being forced to learn stuff by heart to pass some stupid tests never really interested me. Especially when I know that it’s stuff I’ll never use in the future.

I had the “You never talk” pulled on me quite a few times too.
Well yeah, no s~~~ I didn’t talk to people all that much in high school, when you see the level of discussion there, always stuff about who dates who and basically just petty bulls~~~ that was none of my business.

It is a common failing of childhood to think that if one makes a hero out of a demon the demon will be satisfied.

[Anonymous 12]

Women like to get inside men’s heads, if you never talk it makes it difficult for them to do that. That is why you are boring to them, so good work on that.

Women also like men to do and say stupid things like little horny jesters sent to entertain them, you’re boring because you don’t do that. Good work.

Women like men who will do or say anything to get in their panties. You don’t do this, you’re boring to them. Good work.

Case in point, if a man is not useful to a woman, he is boring.

[alchemistParticipant 484]

Victor, that sounds a bit like my history too. A degree of healthy, directed and rational anger is really helpful in overcoming the dysfunctions left in one’s mind by past abusers , bullies and psychos, etc.

I too am still haunted by the ghosts of past sadists/abusers and every so often I find it vastly empowering and helpful to my confidence, and personal development, to acknowledge the fact that some bastard has, as you so rightly put it, dripped poison in my ear.  F~~~ THOSE GHOSTS. They aren’t going to haunt me any more, I’m stamping them out every day, I exorcise them with anger by realising that the problem lies within them. They’ve infected me with their lies, their ghosts still torment me but the problem lies within them, not within me. The deficiency is not within me, but within anyone who tortures you for no good reason. If someone calls you boring, who is really the boring one? A candle next to a lighthouse looks really dim, but a candle in the dark… these boring abusers want to snuff out your light: They want everyone to be “boring” so that their deficiency of personality is not highlighted.

F~~~. THOSE. GHOSTS.

[PhantomParticipant 3328]

Hey Victor, many thoughts I would like to bring to the table here since this thread screams and summons at something deep inside me, for a lack of any better way to put it. Regarding your very thought provoking thread here….you ask the all important question, “What now”? and answer you are not sure….then you close with “Women are shallow and are totally lacking in empathy”.

Although, I am at the same conclusion, I often wonder if that is withheld from us even more than the vag (as the ultimate manipulating tool), because they know we desire it as much if not more so than the sex act itself. I have seen how much affection & care they have for kittens and each other.But I digress.

For me this has been a billion $$$ question ALL my life. I wish to share a bit of my story in the spirit of common ground with you here, with the purpose of sharing my own journey down this rabbit hole, and trying to answer it all these years.

So, here we go…

I have a very similar background regarding many points you shared of your childhood, so no need to parrot on those….However, since I was adopted by my step mom when I was extremely young boy, It made it a double cluster f~~~ for me (with 2 mothers failing me). Although, according to my father, I failed not only them, but him as well, as well as the destruction of the family. I will get back to this point.

I was old enough to remember my biological mother (something my dad seemed to despise/hate), and the few times I would muster the courage to ask about her would make me feel like I had started a one on one war with him. Abuse and beatings were my father’s answer, so me being a rather bright kid, coupled with terror and confusion, realized the subject was never to be brought up nor discussed. Might be worth mentioning here, I saw my “real” mom about 4-5 times by the time I was 17-18 yrs old.

Although I loved my step mom for being there, she really wasn’t (emotionally involved) anyway, after I was about 7 or 8…perhaps even before then. So, the trust issue with women has been with me from my earliest memories to present day. This was the catalyst of me becoming “boring”, among many other things. Well, to everyone else anyway. For myself however, I buried myself into any and everything I could to please my father. I did not want him to also abandon me, and if I could get his approval, perhaps he would not beat me anymore.

So, I thought through my plan, and executed it to the letter. I absorbed and found interests in almost everything I knew of. Education and making the honor roll was a given, as well as Science Fair, Library club,and Chess club. These seemed to produce positive results (with my father at least), but it never answered that question of trust and love, regarding my 2 moms.

I decided I would try my strategy with my step mom, and increased my interests, that I thought she would approve of. The need for having her approval, so I could feel like I could trust women was surreal. It just had to be there. Now that my father seemed to be somewhat happy with me, I figured I was on my way to having that with her as well.

I was in school plays, art, music class, homemaking. Hell, I even learned how to sew, grow plants, flowers, had an aquarium…and I was mowing yards in our neighborhood at 13-14 yrs old making almost 150 per weekend. Along the way my school tested me and even put me in a TAG Program (Talented & Gifted…which I felt like I didn’t belong in, or just barely, compared to the others). My step mom, for a time…did open and engage with me some, in regards to the plays and flowers, etc…and we did get closer, but it was still pretty empty between us.

Out of all the things I poured myself into, I always felt disconnected with my parents. Of course it all backfired and exploded in my face. My father went into a rage more than I care to recall, over many things I tried, to get my step mom’s approval. Seeing that I was buried in my books, and all these other things, trying to please my parents,at school was just as bad for me with my peers.

Home vs school life was akin of from the frying pan to the oven for me. I would get teased, chased home, bullied and since I was the minority in my school, that was an added bonus. I suppose I should get back to the point I touched on earlier…After all this, I am blamed for destroying our family, feeling like an outcast. I had given the very best of myself that I could on everything. I looked at myself as a kinda jack of all trades. Not really shining in anything, even though I tried like hell to.

In short, my step mom never really ever opened up to me and as a result, we never had a real relationship. I finally found my “real” mom at around 18, and I tried like a son of a bitch to develop a relationship with her. Even had her move in with me for a while. Yes we did talk, but there was never really that intimate bond on any level. As sad as it is to admit it….she felt like a room mate at best, really.

So, I have spent all my life since then having this be the never ending theme. The same record being played over & over again…YOU ARE BORING. I have heard it so many times from so many that it has haunted me to no end. I too suffered your fate. “my life went down the drain, my potential stunted and my talents left to rust”.

It has taken many yrs (I am 46 now) to finally learn the answer to this question for me. Your answer may be down another path, or your mileage may vary. I had to let it all go and accept it all, to forget about it and move on. After I finally got free of all that s~~~ (why was I abandoned, abused, beat, blah blah blah) I started asking the only question that matters to me anymore.

Am I being true to myself? That is what matters…and it is the only filter that works for me, by way of logic and reason. It is the standard I endeavor to live by every day. So, maybe today, right now…I have bored all you gents to death. However, I have done my best to share how I got over the boring card s~~~. No matter who plays it…even if it’s me on myself.

I no longer care if someone thinks I am boring. I am not trying to interview for a job as a jester, comedian, or sign up to be another woman’s fool, etc.
Some days I love being as boring as hell. It, for me is necessary at times. You said “I believed I could love a woman but now I don’t think I can”

Dear Sir, the issue here is not the question of your love for a woman…the issue is they can’t (or won’t???) love us men. Boring or not, this is not on our heads, but theirs. Even with them having all this power over us, they still can’t f~~~in’ manage it. Go figure. If I am the idiot, then I choose to be a happy idiot. I can’t do that with the “modern female” in a relations~~~/marriage. Seriously, relate requires both parties, period.

If true love really is/was a thing, we would not need a damn contract (at least how it is currently) to prove it. As for loving a woman, I can love whatever she gives me to love (if I so desire), and disregard the rest that isn’t. If you are still on the fence about the loving a female, I would only say this then….

How can a woman love a man if she has ZERO freakin respect for him….and How can a man love a woman if he has ZERO freakin respect for her because of it?

Just food for thought.

Disclaimer 🙂 If this has not helped you, or if it has added another log on the fire of boredom…please make a printout asap. Hang on the wall & dart away til your boredom subsides. 🙂

Cheers

[BlackPillParticipant 319]

Victor wrote:

This thread is about how people drip poison into the minds of introverted boys and how it shapes and moulds their self-perceptions and stunts them. Age gives you wisdom after the event, and I can now see that the verbal put-downs were part of the mindless blue pill manipulation tricks that I allowed to get to me when I was young. That was the whole aim – they were intended to turn me into a Blue Piller. In my case, it didn’t work, at least not fully. I largely retained my individuality, and that is my victory, but it came at a price. I grew up among people who were not like me. I was intellectual and bookish and interested in academic achievement, and I was psychologically bullied and excluded for this, which had a long-term effect on me into my 20s and 30s. The mind is moulded by early experiences, and it’s difficult to change this unless you have support or guidance from wiser heads. I should have been seeking out peers, people my own age, who were more like me, but I grew up in an environment of little money and few horizons and I was boxed-in. I allowed others – idiots, unambitious and unintelligent people – to define me and demoralise me, and my life went down the drain, my potential stunted and my talents left to rust. In hindsight, I can see two things: 1. I needed guidance and support from a strong male mentor, but this was lacking. I grew up believing my father was a strong person: a handy, blue collar man’s man in some ways, which contrasted sharply with my nature and created conflict and tension between us. I can now see that my father was in fact a weak man, like all the men around me. I was made to think I was the weak one, the boring one, the pathetic one, the outcast. In reality, I was the nascent strong man, but this strength didn’t flower. MGTOW puts this properly in perspective. 2. Most of the poison and put-downs came from women/girls around me – “You’re boring”, “You never talk”, etc. – or from unintelligent blue pill men: schoolyard psycho-bullies and my own father, then later people in the workplace (mostly female). Working with women is a nightmare. In reality, they were the boring ones and I was the interesting one, but I took their comments to heart and allowed it to define me and create this self-loathing. This happened because I was not educated in this important subject: there was no web back then, no coherent concept of MGTOW that men got together and discussed, so I had no reference point for understanding what I was going through. It was like being psychologically tortured and blaming myself for it rather than blaming the perpetrators. What now? I’m not sure. I am at the age now where I care little for women other than for satisfying any chemical/hormonal need I might have for sex. I believed I could love a woman but now I don’t think I can. The behaviour of my cold, abusive mother has been put into perspective by MGTOW. I sought therapy over the years, but the therapists were female, and I can now see why they had no understanding of my problem. Women are shallow and are totally lacking in empathy.

STOP POSTING MY LIFE STORY DAMN IT

[alchemistParticipant 484]

A great conclusion, MGTOW Age; being true to yourself regardless of what other people think and importantly, regularly asking yourself: am I being true to myself? Is this sovereignty? That’s the best way to stay on the true and MGTOW path 🙂 but I’ve got to highlight, again, the importance of banishing the ghosts of past arseholes who still haunt you/me/us/etc, because only then can you be certain that you are being true to yourself and not to the manipulative ghosts of your past.

[PhantomParticipant 3328]

@alchemist hi and thank you. Very good points you make. Agree, always strive for the freedom and independence.

Not having any past, present, “ghosts”, or anyone/anything else manipulate us men into enslavement, good plan.

Being hijacked by others using our emotions for nefarious purposes with the intent of shaming, degrading, etc., is the enemy of that. Always a solid plan to stick with logic and reason = true or truth

[Author]

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