your short funny stories

[bladeParticipant]

I thought it would be good to have a thread where every one can throw the funniest story of there life.

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[Anonymous 42]

Mine isn’t short, it started when I was 3, I’ve been laughing ever since, NON STOP!

I know what they mean when they say life’s a f~~~ing joke! With feminism it just keeps getting funnier! My life will have been spent ROTFL the whole while feminism, narcissism, and gynocentrism has flooded my laugh generator!

Now there’s MGTOW! HE WHO LAUGHS, LAST LAUGHS BEST! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

They really don’t like the fact we’re having fun and never did!

They hate fun! They live to ruin fun! Am I right or am I right?

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

A dish best served cold!

Peace brothers

[hmskl’dParticipant 6406]

When I was young, a neighbor gal who was probably about ten years old, came running across the yard and knocked on our door and said she needed help. She was crying pretty hard because she had been trying to super-glue a piece of costume jewelry that had broken; and while drying, she held the two pieces that had been glued between her thumb and finger and had glued them all together .. fingers and all.

We used a little bit of finger nail polish remover and somehow .. we got her fingers apart again without losing much skin.

[joetechParticipant]

I saw something on Facebook last night I just have to share.

Earl and Ethyl were at the fair when Earl saw that they had helicopter rides. “I would love to go up in one of those”, Earl told Ethyl. Ethyl said, “Those rides are fifty dollars…and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.” Over the years Earl longed to go for a helicopter ride but always got the same answer from Ethyl. One day they were at the fair and Earl said to Ethyl, “You know, I’m 84 years old now. If I don’t go for a helicopter ride this year I may never have another chance.” Ethyl replied, “Fifty Dollars is fifty dollars.” The helicopter pilot overheard the couple and walked over to the couple. He said, “I’ll take you both up for free. But, you have to stay quiet and not say a word. If you do, the ride will be fifty dollars.” The couple agreed. The pilot took them up and did every death defying stunt he knew. The couple stayed quiet during the entire ride. When he landed the chopper he looked at Earl and said, “I’m really impressed Earl. I thought you were going to scream or something, but you really maintained your composure.” Earl replied, “I almost said something when Ethyl fell out, but fifty dollars is fifty dollars.

"Don't follow in my footsteps...I stepped in something."

[SamsquanchParticipant 4226]

Home Run Joetech

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Humor equals tragedy….. plus time.

So my “funniest” story was not funny at all at the time.
Sit down before you fall down.

About a thousand years ago, I was on the decline bench presses at the gym, and this f~~ asked me to spot him. If it wasn’t for the bright pink shorts, I would have never guessed. They were those skimpy runners shorts with the slit up the sides. ( He also pronounces his “S”s very strongly ).

He offered to spot me too. I didn’t think much of it at the time, but I layed back and before I knew it, he was standing over me and I was staring right up his shorts.

Then he was like “Ok ready? 3……2……1…… “
And the f~~~er tea-bagged me.

His f~~~ing nutsack was perched on the part of my body which is only meant for sunglasses. For a FRACTION of a second, it actually felt nice and cool on my forehead, until I realized that was his B~~~~.

I came out from under that barbell and was on my feet faster than you can say “b~~~~”, and I looked at him like “WHAT. THE. F~~~. WAS THAT!!“.

He looks at me and says…. “oh reelaaaax.”.

I never we to back to that gym again.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[joetechParticipant]

Ewwwwww!!!!!!!! How gross KM. I got another joke…it’s about f~~s…?
OK, Blade, this one’s for you.
This guy is sitting at the bar having a beer when two f~~s come in and sit down next to him. After a while he overhears one of them say, “I need to fart. Do you think our neighbor will mind?” Overhearing this, the man speaks up and says, “It’s OK. You can fart. I don’t mind.” So, the f~~ lets one fly…ssssssssssss….! After a while the other f~~ has to fart and the whole thing plays out once more ending in an odiferous…sssssssssssss……! Soon the man starts thinking, “Hmmm. I need to fart. I should ask these guys first, they were so polite about it.” So, he does and of course the f~~s agree. He lets a nice loud one rip. One f~~ says to the other, “Oooh, a virgin!”

"Don't follow in my footsteps...I stepped in something."

[Anonymous 5]

My dad always wakes up and starts singing made-up weird s~~~ it’s funny .I remember one time an lady cut my dad off he stuck his head out and screamed f~~~ you you old sea hag .

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