Your mother, the 'holy cow'

[hicks22Participant 3]

That’s my personal story about the most important topic as MGTOW – your mother. It’s about my mother, but you may find yourself in an similar situation.

I say it quite clearly – your mother is probably the biggest problem you have. If it does not apply to you, then either you had a father who did his job properly or your mother was outstanding.

As Sigmund Freud already says – your mother is the reason for the most problems you have. She is the person who indoctrinated you even using her breast when you were too young to keep your s~~~ together. Surely she is the most influencial person in your life… and the most untouchable one.

So lets talk about my mother. She get divorced when I was about nine and I, my mother and my older brother moved to another country when I was ten. My father always was a dick and not worthy a s~~~, at least she told me all may life until then and surely I believed her.

So I grew up with my mother telling me how s~~~ty all man are and that I always shall worship and love woman… and I believed it. No wonder my romantic relationship mostly were a big pile of s~~~… but I was lucky, had a nearly AWALT for four years… but that’s another story. I just wanted to say I’m not complaining about this, a part of me always was a MGTOW (to be true, thanks to my mother).

But let’s got  to the story. For about seven years, after I had my job, my mother constantly begged me to buy a house and to give her a ‘room in the cellar’. At that time she had a partner for nearly 20 years, but he was (and still) is and idiot in her eyes only useful to pay for the vacation trips into the world. She is one of the persons who nearly has visitied every country of this world – her partner also like to come around. However, he is too annoying to live at his house so she had her own appartment. And btw., she also was too ‘old’ to work by herself, so she lived from social care since her fiftees (that’s possible in the country I life). So she just sat in her own appartment paid by the tax idiots, travelled around the world and enjoyed her life, never stopping to complaim how pityful her life is…

As I said, she bugged me to buy a house so I can give her a room to make her misarable existance a bit more bearable (the story is a bit more complex. The plan was to move with my best friend into my new house, so the focus would be on a community with my friend, but unfortunately, he died some weeks later). When she started that s~~~ I always thought for myself “f~~~, now you even can’t think of a house, because every time you do it, you have to take your mother into the calculation”. But thing wen’t worse for me, I stuck my dick into the wrong person, she became pregnant and things went really wrong (that’s another story I even won’t tell). So there I was, I child incoming, child’s mother one of the ‘I don’t need a man’ woman… so (in my stupidity) I said “ok, you will become a father, you need room for your child, let’s buy a house, take your own mother with you, just… f~~~ it”.

So, there I was, in my house, with my mother who always promised me not to intervene in my life… every time somebody does promise things to you that should be clear, be aware!

As my mother is very dominant, of course she took command of my child every time I had it. And (my fault), it was ok for me, more time for me. I must admit, I do not like children, so it was a win win situation. We had some disputes, never would she keep out of my life and my rooms… but f~~~ it… I was used to the permanent nagging… I grew up with it.

Then I had a girlfriend… she moved into my house… the slave master was in danger to loose to another slave master…. that’s when things became very… intersting. She offically told my girlfriend that now she (my girlfriend) had the command in the house (after I told her that nobody has any command in the house… at least I was stupid enough to think that way).

We pause for three months… my girlfriends wants to merry me. My mother tells me to marry her (I don’t give a s~~~, I’m not that stupid). Another two months. The mother of my child has to go to hospital for two weeks, I ask my mother to take care of my child (I need her). Three days before, my girlfriend, who uses to listen to radio to get asleep (at that time we sleep in different rooms), lets the radio on for the whole night. My mother (she lives on her own floor) is disturbed by it, can’t sleep, comes to my part of the house at six in the morning, pulls the plug of the radio and screams all over the place.

I tell my mother to move out. My girlfriend is a bitch (that’s a story I already have written down here), but I’m p~~~ed. I gave my mother a complete part of my house (originally she just wanted a room in the cellar) and now she screams in my rooms. No, lady, you begged me for a room and now you are f~~~ing me? No, you have to move out.

Now things became interesting. Never she will move out. I can be glad she did not aborted me. I’m her son, I have to care for her. I owe my life to her. If I enjoy my life, then I should be tankful. No way she moves out, before, my girlfriend (at that time my ex girfriend) has to move out. She is too old to move out. She had to die, if she moved out. One day I said to her, she will move out, even if I have to drag her dead body out. Later that day, we had I dispute and she told me she will call the police. A bit later, three officers stormed into my house (in my country they are not allowed to do this until a crime is at bay). I found out that she told them her son was trying to kill her. They came with blue lights on to my house. She tried to scare me…

Nothing was too phantistic to insult me. She told me, my father would have raped her for fifteen years and I’m the result of it. Again, I shall be thanfult to be here. She claimed she had done the housework and she had helped me out.  She wanted 40k dollars for it, if she had to move out. I would make her a poor woman (she spend that winter in Thailand and had a cruise in April worth 7k US Dollars – everything paid by her partner). She could not reach me, so she targeted my ex girlfriend. Anyway, she though it was all her doing, because men never are able to form own decisions. After I went to work, she intercepted my ex girfriend to attack her. She shall go to woman’s refugee. My father was a psychopath, so I am and I would rape my ex girlfiends daughter… she lived for three year for free in my house.

All the time she insisted to be my mother and I should respect this….

My fellow MGTOWs out there, I draw it from my own experience: Your biggest problem probably is your mother. Slaugther that holy cow. She bleeded for you and she cared for you. You owe her your live… If you have the feeling to owe her your life, then the red pill is all about her.

[jambearParticipant 282]

How have you not gone crazy! I have to commend your force of will in staying cool in the face of such injustices.

[free-manParticipant 0]

<b>OMG … i am going though the exact same thing as we speak. My mother has had a toxic relationship ever since I was a pre-teen.
I’ve always remained independent for most of my life. I could literally count on 1 hand the amount of times Ive ever asked my
mother for anything… or women in general… I’d rather go without.</b>

Just recently I moved to a new state which ironically mother lives as well… I was moving into a loft so I could run mp small business while my mther was
seeking a place to move as well but she didnt want to enter into a year lease because she was starting school to pursue her legal studies….

Did I mention my mother & I have the worstttt relationship…. lol… well me being the good son I allowed her to move with in the loft
with me and …. bad fkin idea!!  She is tellin me when  I should wash my own dishes while leaves s~~~ on the counters… Ive sacrificed my business because
she is in the room where my office is supposed to be

We made this agreement in August when we moved in, December is the 4th month. I have reason to believe she is here for the long run and feels
entitled to my loft just because the landlord made her put her name on the lease. When in fact she knows damn well she could not get the property
because she has a bankruptcy on her credit report.  I think she used me!

December will be the month, either i’m phoning the police or either she can have the f~~~in loft since she did such a fantastic using me to get in it
manipulative!!!

[IggyThundersParticipant 246]

Interesting. I wrote a piece on this subject here awhile ago asking the rhetorical question of whether or not some, or many MGTOWs were a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts created from  domineering, mentally ill  and or feminist mothers? My original thread didn’t seem to attract a lot of attention at the time, but I am glad to see this topic is being raised again. It sounds like your (the OP) mother might have a personality disorder of the Narccissistic variety. I was raised by a single mother (from the time I was ten) with a Histrionic personality disorder with a dash of Narcissisim thrown in for good measure. My dad is no saint either. Believe me.  Its a complicated topic. I love my mother dearly, but have hate issues with her as well. The proverbial Love/Hate dynamic. I do believe that my experience of being raised by a woman with her particular “Issues” has definately affected me and influenced my relationships with women. It really made me a MGTOW before there even was such a term. The longest relationship I have ever had with a woman was four years, and that was my “high school sweetheart”. After that there were many others for a time but I knew that getting into a LTR with any of them would just be a soul killing experience. Because none of them, I repeat, NONE OF THEM came close to having the qualities that would make me want to have them in my life on a daily basis. So in some kind of twisted way, maybe we should (at least some of us. I cant speak for the OP.) thank our dysfunctional mothers for showing us the light even if it was in a very unhealthy manner. I dont know how old you and the other posters mothers are, but mine is now 80. Because she is from a Pre-Feminist and Pre-1960s generation (Specifically the “Silent Generation”) she is still old school. So high drama involving the police being called and other such nonsense doesn’t really happen. All I can say is that aging women and single mothers from the Baby Boome generation on forward to Generation-X (My generation) and beyond is going to be something to truly behold. The dysfunction, drama and temper tantrums that will be thrown from this youth obsessed and narcissistic group is going to be truly something to behold.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

My original thread didn’t seem to attract a lot of attention at the time

That’s too bad. I will make it sticky and push it to the foreground. Don’t hesitate to ask. Sometimes it takes a while for men to respond because concepts are not very conventional or easy to talk about. This would probably be one of them.

Interesting. I wrote a piece on this subject here awhile ago asking the rhetorical question of whether or not some, or many MGTOWs were a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts created from domineering, mentally ill and or feminist mothers?

I”ll go check out your original topic and add to this later…. But for now, I will say no. Because my brother is as blue pill as can be. He still lives 5 minutes away from Mom, and is married, kids, bitch wife, and all that blue pill nightmare. I, on the other hand, couldn’t wait to get the f~~~ out (and as far away as possible) because the world was too big to stay where I was. My first job at age 18 was across the ocean. I now live 2500 miles away from family. So, two siblings, same mom, from a two-parent household. One is MGTOW one is not.

While Mom is an EXPERT manipulator and it worked with Dad, I don’t personally think “yo mamma” is as much of an issue as others make it out to be. But I will certainly sit down and give this a serious amount of consideration, and add later. Thanks Iggy.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[DocParticipant 112]

Cultural bombardment will have a more profound effect than any parent. Kids are not raised by their parents anymore. Their parents are Justin Bieber and Miley Syphilis. Moms today have no real control over their kids or ability to discipline even if they want to. You can’t even home school your kids without the state objecting. The whole Freudian Mom must have dropped you on your head in order for you to be a MGTOW theory is not as relevant. Mind you, single mothers are more prominent and they are bad replacements for husband and wife team, so there may just as much validity to it. Every societal problem like this stems from feminism.

[FitzBonesParticipant 304]

I think its all in the reactions. One brother may react negatively to a domineering mother while another may not have the force of will to do so.
Theres an aspect of self-fulfilling prophecy there but I think its more due to the chances of that reaction happening rather than the mother being the CAUSE of it.
And believe me, I already DO thank my mother for the sheer mind-job she worked over me and she knows it.

"If you can fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds' worth of distance run,"

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Hey Fitz I agree.

For example, once I was having Chinese food with my Mom somewhere. And I said something defiant. I drew a line and declared I would never put up with something in a relationship. (I don’t remember what it was). My mom said “I don’t think you would make a very good husband”.

The REACTION to that is key.

While she thought she was saying something a little hurtful, I took it as the GREATEST compliment she could have paid me. And I THANKED her. Not the reaction she was expecting at all. She was trying to provoke another, but she didn’t get it. If a son is not careful when his mother plants seeds like this, he can start to feel BAD about himself. That was her intention, but it did not work.

This “mind job” is something you can RESENT her for…. or its something you can THANK her for — depending on which side of the fence you are on and how secure in yourself you are. If she had made that comment to my brother, he would not have taken it well.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[RoyDalParticipant]

My mom said “I don’t think you would make a very good husband”.

I flatter myself that I would make a good husband. The trouble is the qualities I want in a wife, like steadfast loyalty and friendship, are found only in a dog.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Well, I flatter myself that I would NOT make a “good husband”….. because I know what every woman means by “good husband”. He is a docile controlled schmuck who never questions anything, quietly pays for everything and never pesters his queen for sex.

I would never want to be that man in a million f~~~ing years, and that’s what makes it a compliment.

My dad was “good husband” and you know what his reward for that was?
When the food was cold he was told to go heat it up himself.

Being a “good husband” is my goddam nightmare.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[free-manParticipant 0]

I know for sure my mother suffers from BPD (Border Line Personality Disorder) …. ever since I was teen she has always accused someone stealing from her… little things like utensils, napkins, letters of NO IMPORATANCE… anything!!  I believe it is an attention seeking method to a problem she may be experiencing.  It gets to the point where her behavior becomes near violent like. I pray that 1 day I don’t snap and do something STUPID to hurt her or worse. Hence the reason it was a bad idea from the jump to allow her to move in with me.
My mother is over-bearing, domineering, and quite frankly a lunatic in my eyes. She can never and probably will never have a healthy relationship with a man because of her personality flaws. Only 1 more month to go and the ultimatum comes to fruition.

[FitzBonesParticipant 304]

This “mind job” is something you can RESENT her for…. or its something you can THANK her for — depending on which side of the fence you are on and how secure in yourself you are.

I thank her for it because despite the damage done, its shown me the true nature of all women; my mothers personality has done a complete 180 since I was 17 and she walked out on Dad and us 4 kids. Shes back now which simply shows me that my father should’ve stood his ground and not taken her back, but also how much a woman seeks that security of a man.
I’m secure in myself because I accept what has been done is irreversible and even if I could I wouldnt since those experiences have defined who I choose to be now.

"If you can fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds' worth of distance run,"

[CrypticParticipant 45]

I was lucky with my mum, but I think that boils down to her personality type.  She is an INFP so generally bends over backwards for people, especially family, and has no concept of giving up, even when she gets taken advantage of.  Her and dad have been married for close to 50 years now (dad did the dirty a couple times but mum being mum worked though it and forgave him, assuming it was her fault.  It wasn’t really, dad just has that roaming eye most men do, monogamy is an intellectual concept, not a biological one).  Sadly because of her nature she tends to get taken for a ride a lot, especially by her kids (daughters and sons) who only show interest in her when they have something to gain.  But she always gives in which kind of s~~~s me, then again I have the same personality so tend to give in to requests from family without even thinking, which can land me in debt or finding my time double booked.  We’ve always been lower-middle class people and money has always been something to give away to those who need it more than us, even when bills are due.  And mum, even with an overdrawn credit card refuses to ask her kids (or anyone) for a hand out, while putting on charity ballet concerts every year (she’s a ballet teacher btw, 70 and still gets up on stage) and often being taken for a ride by her students parents who slink away without paying their debts.

I got a lot of good traits and lessons from mum, on what to do and not to do.

[free-manParticipant 0]

Wowww…. you are a very lucky and blessed man to have a mother like that…  Wish I could trade places. lol… not even for what she could do but for just being supportive and patient. If my mother were like I’d probably be a billionaire …. but unfortunately my mother is a DESTROYER of dreams and hopes.

[CrypticParticipant 45]

Yeah I drew lucky there.  She comes with her problems but at heart she’s pretty cool.  Took me the better part of a decade but I got her listening to metal.  Mostly christian metal bands like Tourniquet, Deliverance, the odd Mortification (that’s impressive cause it’s death metal style, very anti violence and s~~~, but wicked tunes yeah, but mixed in with the mortality of humans done in metal inspired styles, roar roar roar that sort of s~~~… good stuff.), Stryper.  But she does get into some secular s~~~ like Devin Townsend, the odd Metallica, Megadeth, even the occasional Fear Factory.  Mum’s the sort of person that gives everyone a fair shot to start with.  If they do f~~~ her over she’ll eventually just cut them away. If they f~~~ with her family though, instant grudge.

A big part of it is probably her age, 70’s a fair chunk of time for a human as far as history is concerned.  The average over the course of humanity is mid 30’s.  And culture mixing and a ever connected world, s~~~ changes quick in the scheme of things.  Each decade s~~~ changes till it’s unrecognisable from what was once ‘it’.  Mum’s mum was half Chinese (well Singapor, too high to google the spelling of that one… god damn red squiggly lines) half scottish living in Singapor.  My grand dad was english/australian  heritage.  Being even part asian in Australia sucked dick during WW2, everyone just saw Jap Kamikaze, especially after the bombing of Darwin.  Any Grandad fell in love with her while he was on deployment, got her a ticket to Australia and smuggled himself home on a pig boat.  Society treated her like s~~~ and she took it out on her kids (mum and uncles aunties).  Mum especially, got the s~~~ kicked out of her.  She went the complete opposite way to how she was raised, f~~~ing polar in attitudes, and mum copped s~~~ as a kid for having a chink mum.  Never drinks, smokes like a chimney but was a teenager in the era when smoking was glamorous.  Didn’t like me being at p~~~ ups when I was 16 but got over it and just told me I was a dick head and deserved to puke.  That’s about it.  She gets everyone has their own brain and see and learn s~~~ differently.  She is good at her guilt trips though when she is losing a fight.  Meh my problem is I lose my temper easy and start rambling s~~~.  We’ve all got our style.  Most of my problems are bad choices.  As far as relationships and s~~~, just year after year of bad relationships.

 

Anyway too f~~~ing high to remember what this comment was even about now and even I think it’s TL;DR, so back to lsitening to some Static X in rememberance of Wayne, and finish this scoob.

Peace f~~~ers!  Cryptic

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