You Know It's Been Too Long, But Eventually You Have To Share It

[BeenThereDoneThatParticipant 1]

My ex wife continued a barrage of verbal abuse over almost all of our almost 12 years of marriage.
One time, she got mad and sank her teeth into my arm.  The scar doesn’t show up now, but it took twenty years to go.
Another time she attacked me and I grabbed her by the neck – it was the easiest thing to get hold of and threw her to one side.  She called the police and I nearly got arrested.

One day, or son came back from visiting his friend and I was outside.  I saw her punch him hard in the head – he was eight years old at the time.  I ran over and demanded to know why, and she said “I was hitting you.”

Eventually, she obtained a divorce and I could not stop it.  I had to leave the country as I had no visa.

I tried to keep in touch with my kids, but I only had jobs on and off.  They always said; “We’re fine!” when I called every weekend.  Eventually, they would not respond.  After many years of silence had elapsed, my son and daughter contacted me and told me that their mother had sworn to kill them if they ever let on what was happening to them – her treatment of them was much worse that I had actually witnessed.

My wife committed suicide a few years ago and the children will not respond any more.

Women have more power than they should and are just as capable of the most evil crimes as anyone else.

[darkoverParticipant 14]

BeenThereDoneThat wrote:

Women have more power than they should and are just as capable of the most evil crimes as anyone else.

Yes they do. I’d argue that they are more capable now since the law assumes women as innocent unless proven guilty and men as guilty when it concerns women. Hope you find ways to eventually contact your children if you so wish. No father should be separated from his children.

 

[Dans0nParticipant 36]

Thank you for sharing your story with us and welcome to #MGTOW.

I think that you really should try to get contact to your kids, even though it’s probably way easier said than done. After all, they’re your children, right? It probably won’t be easy, but it will be worth it for sure. Best wishes for you and your children, I’ll keep my fingers crossed.

[experiencedParticipant]

I am truly sorry for what you have gone through.  A fact that I wanted to pass on to you is that there’s a high correlation that if a parent commits suicide, their offspring will also.  Just heard of this from a coworker who knew of a professional that blew this fact off, and then the child of the person who killed themself, did the same thing.  While it’s not pleasant, I’m compelled to let you know. That way you can have made an effort with this knowledge as opposed to possibly hearing about it too late.

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[BeenThereDoneThatParticipant 1]

Thanks for all your voices.

It has been many years now.

My children are now adults.

As adults, their lives are theirs to control and they have decided to refuse to try and reinstate things.

I realise that if they ever do think again about connecting with me, it will probably be too late, because I am not young and there other factors.

But one cannot force people to do things that they don’t want to do, no matter how one may feel personally – any change would need to come from within and I don’t think that they will change.

I have come to terms with this now, which is why I felt that I could share my story and to let others who might be considering embarking upon such a journey to consider what they are doing, very carefully.

Nobody goes into a relationship believing that their dreams will become their nightmares, but unfortunately, this is all too often the case.

So I have let this matter go and I’m starting to feel better about it now.  Those who know me – even my children have told me that there was nothing that I could have done, but only now is the effect of these events beginning to lessen.  Time is, after all, a healer, it seems.

Can we know the future?  No, of course not, but if we take a look around us and open or eyes, our ears and our minds, to the experiences of others and take from their experience, then we may have some inkling of which direction things might go.

[BeenThereDoneThatParticipant 1]

Sorry, a DNO, because the REPLY option does not seem to link directly to a post and there is no delete option.

[EscapedMentalPatientParticipant 1489]

Hello, BeenThere.

Welcome.  I am very sorry to hear your story and what you’ve endured.

I hope you are able to establish and maintain contact with your children so that you can begin to process some of the tragedy that you’ve been through.

 

[harpo-my-“SON”Participant 2410]

BeenThere  your on the right path now…live for yourself   Enjoy the forums

 

 

I was bound to be misunderstood, and I laugh at those who misunderstand me. Kind mockery at the well intentioned, but unfettered cruelty towards those would be prison guards of my creative possibilities. This so as to learn as much from misunderstanding as from understanding. Taking pleasure in worthy opponents and making language fluid and flowing like a river yet pointed and precise as a dagger. Contradicts the socialistic purpose of language and makes for a wonderful linguistic dance, A verbal martial art with constant parries that hone the weapon that is the two edged sword of my mouth.

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