Home › Forums › Marriage & Divorce › Yet another cross roads…
This topic contains 19 replies, has 15 voices, and was last updated by 
NerdTunneler 1 year, 10 months ago.
- AuthorPosts
Following the uncovering of financial infidelity last year and all the reassurances, tears and sad puppy dog faces I have uncovered further gut wrenching online activity, once confronted with my suspicions I was advised “we had been on the same page about separation and co-habitation for ages”, I had been under the impression we were working on our situation to minimize fallout for our young Children, clearly I now feel I had been strung along especially considering the years of expected Valentines Gifts etc.
I uncovered evidence of emotional infidelity at the very least although I suspect more, whenever confronted with informed questions the source (online) was promptly locked down, changed or simply deleted (essentially doubling down on secrecy), all this was further reinforced by behavioural changes , new fashion accessories, increased effort in preening/presentation etc.
I knew (without reservation) this marriage was done, over kaput…
Financially our lives are of a higher standard co-habitating and our children benefit directly but all the lies, deception and extreme secrecy are tearing at my insides, I have moved out of the room we shared albeit platonically.
I have begun investing more time in my health and fitness and visiting the Gym is helping burn off this inner rage I am constantly plagued with, I can’t say how much longer I can see myself balancing my prioritizing of our Children and inner rage, it’s eating me up from the inside.
I am a fixer, this is my mindset and my lifestyle but this is one thing I can’t fix and because men tend to bond with their long term partners it makes any decision all the more arduous.
My awakening to the true nature of females has steadily gotten more painful with clarity…
Anonymous42I can’t imagine enduring what you’re going through!
One foot in front of the other and a generous serving of logic has kept me sane in the face of the “discussions” whereby my guilt for ruining the relationship is laid bare, the usual accusations, working too much (sole wage earner), moody etc.
The gas lighting (speaking by assumed proxy) was artfully applied to the point I even commenced antidepressants and became a functional zombie (gotta’ keep bringing in those shekels) however that was my turning point where I considered statistically speaking I couldn’t be at fault 100%
I hear you man.
Every relationship has an expiration date…it has nothing to do with you, it’s just how it is.
She absolutely was physically cheating on you. Sorry man. It’s not your fault, that’s just what they do. There are SEVEN different men that I know about. Seven. In reality, that means 12+. I hear you. Punt that c~~~.
The answer, is no.
I hear and feel the anger and pain you are experiencing. Being here amongst men who understand the nature of women – you are onfertile ground to vent. Keep focusing on yourself and your kids as you seem to be doing and you will pull through this. Best of luck.
Thanks… it is hard to accept as a man that we were “never enough” but that is simply a symptom of the hypergamous nature of women, as I have experienced extreme parental alienation once before moving out entirely is my sticking point.
I hear you though and understand you are 110% correct, staying is like living with an open wound.
Dont move out.
Wear bodycams.
Check your state laws regarding adultery, it may still be on the books as a crime that can be prosecuted. In my state its still an actionable felony. Find out what evidence is required. Get her to admit it on tape.
Women want everything, but want responsibility and accountability for nothing.
start stashing money in cash – safety deposit box.
Don’t invest anymore into her, the house, anything than you have to.
Get ready. You sound like you are hunkered down and not to the place in your mind where you will leave yet. But you know you will one day.
Bust her, snoop her phone, hire a PI – get the goods.
What is her achilles heel? what can you use as leverage against her?
Pics or proof of her being a cheating whore shown to her Dad or her mom or her priest? What is her weakness? Exploit it.
Is her weakness “things”? If so, starve her out. Don’t give her a f~~~ing dime. Only enough bread to keep her alive. No access to your money. Make her starve. No makeup, no cel phone, nothing.
Get to her. She is making you a miserable mess. What reason do you have to treat her with any kindness or respect at all?
One thing I regret about the way I handled the situation when I had my suspicions about my wife fidelity, was that I waited around acting like I didn’t know what I really did know, until she made the first separation move.
I had all the excuses to tell myself, maybe we can work on it, its better for the kids, it will cost a lot of money.
Well all that was bulls~~~ and I waited around like a whipped puppy to the point it consumed me, couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, work suffered, even my friends avoided me because I was such a sad sack. Till the day came where she booted me out the door.
Had I the moment again, once I knew she was f~~~ing around, or making plans to f~~~ around, lining up her next emotional tampon, I would straight away, with no angry words, pack my bags and check in to a hotel, and get on with plans for me to rent a place for myself.
I would tell her we should talk to make arrangements for the kids and their school and activities and be generous and non combative in that area, and tell her we need to talk about planning a new budget. Then………the reason, because I AM not happy and this isn’t working out for me. Not because you’re a whore and sleeping around on me.
Nope, the reason is because she doesn’t make you happy and she’s not meeting your needs.
It would be messy and I couldn’t do it at the time, I didn’t have the knowledge, I was full blue pill then.
This is the new attitude. What I need and expect in a marriage. What I need in a mate. Not how do I make her pleased so she wont leave. Not what is best for the kids. What do I want and need in life?
Men never have that conversation. Not with our wife/gf, and not even without self. We always cede that right to the woman and are forced to deal with their emotional wants and needs as the first priority.
That is the usual orientation of those heart felt conversations. That’s because in their minds they are the prize and you should work hard to please them to get the prize.
F~~~ it, YOU’RE the prize. What do you want and need in life? Is she giving that to YOU?
How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.
Anonymous18Wraith, nice avatar.
You are somewhat trapped but listen to men here. Stop question yourself. Nothing is wrong with you. Its not your fault.
Your ‘wife’ has grown tired of relationship and is doing what modern woman go about relationships.
You invested more (by virtue of being in a committed relationship), she didn’t. She has multitude of narratives to lean on to sleep at night. Even if you jump off the bridge. But don’t. Again, nothing you did makes you deserve any of this.
Listen to men here. They can give you advice and support you need.
Its much easier for me to sit here and type what I feel; however, I do not have the memories with your wife, or the loving bond with your kids. You do – so you will need to shoulder the burden of what men have carried on since the days of marriage.
Your journey is yours to take. We are here for the affirmations you need as a man, which you won’t find through the gynocentric narratives derived only to appeal to female entitlement to victimhood.
Been there, done that.
You could stop digging, you know she lied and cheated.
The pain will be bad, Soo bad, but be careful of rage.
Get a DNA test for the kids if they not yours, let everyone know, get all money you can and get the duck out of the country.
Do not think for a second, your family, friends gonna help or understand, if the red pill rage gets to show in public, you will be labeled a maniac, monster, secretly they will think “that’s why she left him, I didn’t knew he was like that”
1) dna test in secret.
2) passport.
3) move your money fast.
4) let everyone know the kids are not yours.
5) RUNNNNNN, go somewhere else, leave the rucking country.To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.
Listen to Secret Agent MGTOW and Combat Roll.
You are now in a war. This isn’t a game.
She will steal your children. She will steal everything you possess, everything you worked for. She will put you in jail if she can.
Only by being utterly ruthless will you survive this. Your objective is now to destroy her completely.
Thank you all for your pearls of your wisdom!
I am beginning to realize snooping/curiosity is like picking a scab off a wound and obviously a self defeating pastime, I will make efforts to stop this behaviour, I had initially deluded myself that collating/collecting said details, screen shots etc. would be to my advantage should I end up before a Family Law Court.
I cannot exonerate myself entirely from the demise of this marriage but I will not accept total blame, thankfully things are calm for the moment but it would be prudent to prepare for the (highly likely) looming squall.
Listen to Secret Agent MGTOW and Combat Roll.
You are now in a war. This isn’t a game.
She will steal your children. She will steal everything you possess, everything you worked for. She will put you in jail if she can.
Only by being utterly ruthless will you survive this. Your objective is now to destroy her completely.
DO NOT TRUST anything she says. This beast is not the cupcake you married (she is actually, but the beast was hidden).
I trusted my b1tch over-and-over until my lawyer said, “—‘s word is no good with me, she has proven that repeatedly”.
She will do things you never thought she was capable of doing b/c they are so cruel and ruthless.
I am sorry to hear your story Wraith.
All the self blame and self doubt resulting from a manipulative wife can break a man down. Happily you have already reached the turning point.
A lot of good advice has been offered above. Yes you are at war as monk says but this is a cold war now. Now is the time to get the advantage on your opposition. Remember she has the greater strength -she has the pussy pass and all the rights that being a woman bestows thanks to our cucked up laws. You are a man. You will be in the wrong automatically in every interaction with authority unless you can somehow miraculously prove your self 100% right when it is your word against hers. Your enemy is stronger than you. Your enemy’s words suggest she has been planning this for years. She has the strength and the forward planning.
My advice is hold your fire. Machiavelli told a great truth when he wrote in the Prince that if you can win a battle then do not hesitate to engage right away -in the future you may not be in the winning position. To delay is folly. She would do well to engage and take you for all you are worth. You would do well to think like Fabius Maximus in the face of Hannibal or if you can get away without a hot war even like Chamberlain before Hitler “Peace for a time” is not weak appeasement if you are arming.
My only regret with my divorce is not enough pre divorce work being put in on my side and I also regret the ridiculous idea that a battle with a woman could be an honourable fight. They have no honour. Prepare very well. Then if you must fight hit hard and fast and without any mercy. You will at least be respected. You are going to be hated whatever.
My advice is do not offer any battle until you are prepared properly. Do not leave the house whatever.
1. Slowly get your money into gold or something similar that is small valuable and movable. You can then turn round and say you just frittered it away on her and on trying to make yourself happy.
2. Do covertly DNA test the kids. If you do not and you separate you will kick yourself for not doing this morning and night.
3. It is worth digging for the right info but do not make yourself suffer for it. Remember if she finds out you are spying she can make you that bad controlling man. You are then fair game for anything. You need to know what her financial assets are and stop her stealing from you. That is all. The law will not care a dam how badly she has behaved, so forget looking for that. You will be hurt and she may catch you.
4. Act really nice and really dumb. Try to patch it up like a good little cuck. Pretend to see no evil and let her have her way so long as it does not make you full of self loathing or out of pocket. You can keep a record of your good efforts if you like though I doubt the court will give a dam.
5. If at all possible go self employed. This will let you work wonders when it comes to maintenance. I don’t know about your law system where you are but where I am it is better still to be the director of your own limited company. You can them pay yourself virtually bugger all and she can’t have what is stored in your company.
6. Read all the rules of divorce and child maintenance in your area. Get all the advice you can, work out how to bend everything you can your way.
That’s plenty but do not engage earlier than you have to in a battle that is stacked against you. Dig in and give a little ground, get control of the money. Your time will come.
A woman is like fire -fun to play with, can warm you through and cook your food, needs constant feeding, can burn you and consume all you own
Here’s the bottom line man. Just go. You know DAMN Well you need to. When you finally do later on you’re gonna look back and wish you had left earlier. It’s time brother move on get your life back.
Be professional be polite but always have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
DO NOT TRUST anything she says.
[snip]
She will do things you never thought she was capable of doing b/c they are so cruel and ruthless.
You are so on point CombatRoll, just the other day **** was unsolicitedly making a point (and driving it home) regarding some activity of which she was completely innocent, cold faced lies to my face no less (I had already uncovered the truth myself)… such an epiphany!
It is worth digging for the right info but do not make yourself suffer for it.
Agreed, holding onto clarification/confirmation of suspicions is what helped to reset my inner compass and dispel lingering doubts regarding my own recollections (Kyptonite for gas lighting), my last remaining obstacle/hurdle is the emotional attachment to the investment made into her and the relationship, this blindsided me as I thought I had since transitioned into “ruthless understanding”.
Here’s the bottom line man. Just go. You know DAMN Well you need to. When you finally do later on you’re gonna look back and wish you had left earlier. It’s time brother move on get your life back.
I understand and agree, time already served has confirmed my regrets however all my financial assets are tied up in this home and I’ll be damned if I will just walk away.
…
I uncovered evidence of emotional infidelity at the very least although I suspect more, whenever confronted with informed questions the source (online) was promptly locked down, changed or simply deleted (essentially doubling down on secrecy), all this was further reinforced by behavioural changes , new fashion accessories, increased effort in preening/presentation etc.I knew (without reservation) this marriage was done, over kaput…
…This pretty accurately sums up my divorce. The difference is in the time table (start to end my divorce was less than 6 months). I was informed in a December right before Christmas that my ex wasn’t happy, didn’t love me, and wanted a divorce after Christmas and New Years so there was no family drama. It was a gut punch. The family didn’t know at all, and I was a total zombie but I thought I had convinced her to think about it and I was able to pretend everything was okay. Family watched the 6-month-old kid while we went to the most awkward movie we’d ever been to together (seat between us because she was a bitch).
Two weeks later, she’s pushing for divorce but I convince her mother to pressure her into marriage counseling. She’s just going through the motions and by the third session the counselor dismisses us because the bitch had already made up her mind nothing was going to change.
It was after the first session I got proof that something weird was going on, and it was after filing paperwork I discovered she’d actually been cheating on me since October, a solid 2-3 months before she told me she wanted out because she just wasn’t happy.
I had emails between her and her girlfriends where she was going on about how miserable I made her and how abusive I was and how unhappy she was and how trapped she felt. I’m staring at the screen, tears running down my face with rage, trying to figure out who this fictitious groom was that she was describing.
I should have nailed her to a wall, but I let her string me along like maybe possibly she might change her mind and we could always vacate the motion with the court at the last minute. That never happened.
I tried to be rational and explain that she was just feeling emotional as a new mom and this was all just in her head. I tried to explain that it would be better for our kid if we stayed together as a cohesive unit. But women are immune to logic, reason, and evidence.
It devastated me. I put on a good 30 pounds before I realized I had fallen back into food addiction. So I started working out regularly to burn off the rage. I felt pretty damn good as long as I kept to my schedule. I was able to box everything away in my brain and just go through the motions.
It hurts, my dude. It hurts a lot. You’ll question yourself, fundamentally. People will give you advice and you’ll know they’re full of s~~~ and don’t understand at all. You’ll get platitudes so they don’t actually have to invest in you.
My advice is to keep working out, find something to fill your time, and just by being productive and active, you’ll work it all out on your own. Anybody out “there” who tries to tell you what to do is probably full of s~~~ and repeating something they heard from a movie.
Also, save *everything*. Use archive.is if you have to. Get screenshots and raw data. Hold onto all of it. You never know when you’re going to have to fight false DV charges.
Cupcakes are Cold. MGTOW is Absolute Zero.
“Let us wait a little; when your enemy is executing a false movement, never interrupt him” –Napoleon Bonaparte, 1805Here’s the bottom line man. Just go. You know DAMN Well you need to. When you finally do later on you’re gonna look back and wish you had left earlier. It’s time brother move on get your life back.
Sometimes relations~~~s are like a cancerous lump…the longer you wait to cut it out the more damage its doing and the longer the recovery.
The advice the guys are giving you is solid…Start protecting your assets and hide money…The pain is hard to describe when the woman you married, the woman who promised you till death do you part, the woman who said you can trust her was really untrustworthy…
It is not your fault…She made her choice…She has decided that your marriage is no longer sacred to her and you are no more than a utility to her…Move on brother, improve yourself…You are better than her…You are better than that…The lie that she has been hiding has been exposed…Stay strong, burn the rage at the gym and start protecting yourself…The time will come when she has found another beta wallet and you will be kicked to the curb…
Spend time with your kids and enjoy being with them to create a stronger bond and memories…The bitch will try to destroy your reputation and relationship with your kids…You might not see them for a long time when the s~~~ starts so take the time to be with them…Learn from the divorced fathers here…Goodluck brother…
I stand with feet apart and let my balls hang free...Manginas dont have balls...See how they stand and sit at the whim of their masters...
- AuthorPosts
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
921526
921524
919244
916783
915526
915524
915354
915129
914037
909862
908811
908810
908500
908465
908464
908300
907963
907895
907477
902002
901301
901106
901105
901104
901024
901017
900393
900392
900391
900390
899038
898980
896844
896798
896797
895983
895850
895848
893740
893036
891671
891670
891336
891017
890865
889894
889741
889058
888157
887960
887768
886321
886306
885519
884948
883951
881340
881339
880491
878671
878351
877678
