Workplace Behaviour Double Standards

Topic by Sagaciously Single

Sagaciously Single

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This topic contains 15 replies, has 10 voices, and was last updated by Giggity  Giggity 4 years, 11 months ago.

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  • #20024
    +3
    Sagaciously Single
    Sagaciously Single
    Participant
    214

    Ok so I’ve been lucky enough to have just spent a week participating in an important training course within my organisation. The course was beneficial for my personal development and skills maintenance. Unfortunately due to the incessant requirement to promote women at all costs this course of 14 people contained just over 50% females.

    Here is a brief list of the annoying, disrespectful and disruptive behaviour of a majority of these females throughout the course:

    1) Arriving late at either the start of the day or after breaks;

    2) Openly playing / texting on phones in plain view of the course manager / invited guest(s);

    3) Engaging in conversations completely irrelevant to the course whilst the trainer is trying to deliver a presentation. Often times causing the presenter to stop and either wait or ask them (way too politely) to rejoin reality;

    4) Dominating discussions during the course of how they can do things better, in open defiance to the advice and suggestions of the presenter;

    5) Talking loudly / Shrieking / Disruptive Behaviour during group exercises;

    These are only a few of the main examples, but there were many more during this week but I’m too tired to continue!

    Have you guys experienced anything similar with this, or have more examples to share?

    Cheers,

    SS.

    "And this you can know - fear the time when Manself will not suffer and die for a concept, for this one quality is the foundation of Manself, and this one quality is man, distinctive in the universe". - John Steinbeck.

    #20041
    ...

    Spectator
    1165

    Sag Single: there are literally thousands of examples here on this website. If you read QuarterWaveVertical’s posts in this Jobs area of the forums, he’s got hair raising tales about what it is like to be a male school teacher in today’s world.

    Women are feeling so empowered these days that for some of us the only to do is to opt out as much as possible. Don’t see standard workplaces getting any better any time soon. QuarterWaveVertical had to attend sensitivity seminars and all kinds of other bulls~~~. Check his thread out.

    #20042
    ...

    Spectator
    1165

    Sag Single: here’s the thread I was talking about

    /forums/topic/male-primaryelementarygrade-school-teacher/

    terrifying s~~~ man.

    #20045
    Governor Megachris%
    Governor Megachris%
    Participant
    3584

    What if a co-worker threatens to slap you?  That happened to me yesterday, and I’m still admittedly fuming about it.  It was at a business luncheon, and I guess I did something that was driving her nuts, so she said “if you keep doing that I’m gonna slap you!”  She said it in a serious tone, but with a “joking” smile on her face.  It took a lot in me not to tell her either “I dare her to hit me” or to walk away.  Either way would have gotten me fired (as the rest of my workers were sitting around me.  Some didn’t hear her, and the others just laughed and said “she’s a mother of three.  She’s used to this!  Teehee!”), so all I did was sit there and not say a word while it brought flashbacks to when my mother would threaten to slap me for petty things, as well as other forms of abuse.

    I can only imagine what would have happened if I told her I’d slap her if she kept taking the chip dip for herself (she was saying she’d slap me if I kept eating chips at the rate that I was or something like that).  Hooooo boy!

    #20048
    +1
    ...

    Spectator
    1165

    MegaC: double standards all around. you are probably starting to see why some men eventually lose it and resort to violence. i never have and manage to walk away….but i’m also mostly self employed and i’m single so i don’t have to put up with that s~~~ at home. if she hits you, she’ll probably win any legal battle…if you defend yourself, jail time for you most likely. ain’t life grand?

    #20059
    +2
    BrainPilot
    BrainPilot
    Participant
    7640

    I’m not sure if this would have worked for you or not, but it’s a technique I’ve used before with some success in a situation like the one you described. I refer to it as “calmly stating the obvious”.

    In response to the statement “…I’m gonna slap you…”, the first thing is the calm part. Don’t say anything immediately. Stare back and pause long enough for everyone at the table who heard it to shift their attention to you for your response. Make them wait for it, but only for a second or two. Then, fold your hands in front of yourself, lean forward slightly and while maintaining the same stare, lower your voice to a volume that forces her to pay closer attention in order to hear you. This lowering of your voice slightly puts people off balance if they have to strain a little to hear you.

    Then state the obvious: “What you just threatened to do in front of all these witnesses is a criminal offense in every state. By just making that threat, you’ve already violated a series of codes and rules on workplace safety issued by OSHA and a variety of other federal government agencies…”. Then, no matter what the response from her, don’t say another word, but maintain the same quiet stare for as long as it takes for the situation to become awkward and uncomfortable for all present… the longer and more uncomfortable, the better.

    Most likely, the response will be something along the lines of “it was just a joke…”. Ignore that and keep staring. Ignore the subsequent responses about ‘you’re not really taking that seriously are you?”. Ignore that and keep staring. Keep ignoring whatever she says. She will have a list of strategies to say to avoid or minimize her responsibility for what she just said. Be patient and keep staring for enough time to allow her to get all the way through that list. Keep staring until you’re certain that everyone present has become visibly uncomfortable. That discomfort won’t happen until she’s gotten to the bottom of her list, and nothing has worked. Only then, the discomfort starts. Figdeting, back pedaling, apologizing etc. are signs that the offender is nearing the bottom of the list. Make sure you stare quietly for at least that long, and then some… Do not break the stare until you are certain that you have created a situation so uncomfortable that everyone present is going to remember it.

    The last thing anyone is going to remember about this uncomfortable situation, is that ‘everything seemed to be going fine until she threatened to slap him…then it just got all weird…’.

    Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you

    #20063

    Anonymous
    42

    Your words are perfect! One of my strategies! It’s Logic vs. outrage, “Slow Logic” vs “speedy outrage”,,,,,”Bulldozer vs. Kitten”.. Very well spoken! Brain takes the win on litterateur!

    #20066
    Governor Megachris%
    Governor Megachris%
    Participant
    3584

    I need to copy that statement for future use.  This isn’t the only time she’s said this to me.  In fact, she last said it at the previous luncheon at the same place when I was simply chewing ice while waiting on my refill!  I just need to stop worrying about losing the job over something someone else is doing…I just hear these horror stories of men losing their jobs because of women’s petty reasoning.  Heck, that’s how I lost my previous job.

    #20069
    +1
    BrainPilot
    BrainPilot
    Participant
    7640

    She ‘threatens’ you with ‘criminal assault’ in front of witnesses under circumstances that qualify it as ‘work place violence’ and they fire you for pointing this out for what it is? Now it becomes ‘retaliation’. Learn to use those words calmly, particularly when in meetings and discussions with human resources, as they are the keywords in big, ugly, expensive lawsuits…and HR personnel will be familiar with them for exactly that reason. These are the words of $500 an hour attorneys. When you start dropping words like these in meetings, people who’ve heard them before in other meetings where those attorneys were present…will recognize them.

    One last piece of advice: If you have an iPhone, or any other smart phone, download a ‘voice memo’ app for it. This is an app that allows you to record yourself walking around your house making a verbal shopping list or other mundane things for which you are too lazy to write things down.

    What it also is… is an app that you can open and start and then put the phone back into the belt clip wear you normally carry it and where people are accustomed to seeing it. It’s an app that if turned on in an elevator on the ride to the HR dept, will begin recording everything around you and will continue recording everything around you until the battery goes dead or you run out of memory. I’ve easily recorded meetings that lasted more than an hour this way. Even better if you can get this person’s threats to you recorded.

    Laws on the legality of recording a conversation very by state. In some places, it is not legal to record a conversation unless both parties agree to be recorded. In others, it’s legal if even one of the participants of the conversation is aware of the recording. If you live in a dual party area, it just means that when you go into one of these meetings, you have to pull out the phone, turn on the recorder and announce to the room, while the reorder is recording, that you will be recording the meeting, and that the recorder is already running. Anyone who objects to this is going to have their objection (legally) recorded. Anyone who is recorded without their knowledge while making a threat… can object all they want later when they find out. By then, they are going to be very busy trying to defend themselves…

    If you decide to go this way, the first time anyone becomes aware that you are recording something, casually mention that you ‘do this all the time’ and have ‘been doing it for a while…’ as though it’s commonplace for you. maybe mumble something about wanting to be sure you have a way to remember any important details etc etc. Let them wonder about what you’ve already recorded them saying, and what you’re going to do with it…

    Like the ‘calmly stating the obvious’ method above, this brings a dose of reality into the world of people who have disconnected from it… reconnecting them to consequences and accountability. Get a reputation as a black belt in the art of (calmly) wielding the reality club and being unafraid or even hair trigger in your willingness to pull it out and swing it. And most likely, people who prefer to live disconnected from reality will learn where the reality club’s arc is and stay well outside it. Because the longer you are disconnected from reality, the more frightening it becomes.

    I learned this in the biography of former American President Harry S. Truman (aka Giv’em Hell Harry). Truman was known for several things in his presidency. The day he moved into the White House to begin his presidency, he put a small plaque on the desk of the oval office on which were inscribed the words “The buck stops here.” That was an indication to all that he was taking control, and unafraid of the responsibility that came with it. The story of this plaque is often told for amusement purposes, but when it is also remembered that Truman is the only man in the history of world ever to have ordered the use of atomic weapons (twice) in war, the quote on that plaque takes on a whole new significance. It’s also significant that when given the chance to apologize or express regret for the dropping of The Bomb, (enormously controversial even to this day) he never did.

    When asked about his nickname, ‘Giv’em Hell Harry’, he responded that he never gave anyone hell… He’d just given them the truth, and they’d just thought it was hell.

    I have always admired and sought to learn from and emulate people unafraid of truth, reality, responsibility, accountability… if you are unafraid of these things, you can be most terrifying to those who are.

    Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you

    #20073
    +1

    Nonsense like this exists in the educational system.

     

    With the law being what it is, a prof or instructor often has to deal with female students than they would with men.  Even a minor matter could result in endless headaches for that person.  I had to deal with that while I was teaching at a certain post-secondary institution and there have been many news reports of how the lives of schoolteachers and professors were made miserable because of an allegation of misconduct.  Sadly, in such matter, the presumption of innocence until proven guilty mysteriously disappears.

     

    In many cases, the accusations were found to be groundless or gross distortions of what actually took place.  However, the damage was done and, often, those who were accused left their jobs and went someplace else.

     

    #20152
    +1
    RoyDal
    RoyDal
    Participant

    BrainPilot speaks wisdom. Harken unto him. Take his words to heart.

    “She threatens you with criminal assault in front of witnesses under circumstances that qualify it as ‘work place violence’ and they fire you for pointing this out for what it is? Now it becomes ‘retaliation’. Learn to use those words calmly, particularly when in meetings and discussions with human resources, as they are the keywords in big, ugly, expensive lawsuits…and HR personnel will be familiar with them for exactly that reason.
    […]
    I have always admired and sought to learn from and emulate people unafraid of truth, reality, responsibility, accountability… if you are unafraid of these things, you can be most terrifying to those who are.”

    Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

    #20299
    Sagaciously Single
    Sagaciously Single
    Participant
    214

    Listen Up! Thanks man, I had a look at that thread and it’s very interesting / righteous reading!

    Take it easy and have a great weekend!

    SS.

    "And this you can know - fear the time when Manself will not suffer and die for a concept, for this one quality is the foundation of Manself, and this one quality is man, distinctive in the universe". - John Steinbeck.

    #20301
    +1
    Himeo
    Himeo
    Participant
    471

    FMLA: Friday/Monday leave act.

     

    One of my coworkers has been on FMLA for three years in a row. They have not worked Monday or Friday in years. It goes without saying what gender this coworker is.

    #23064
    +1
    Giggity
    Giggity
    Participant
    20

    I work in an office and the dress code is casual.  My attire is blue jeans and cotton shirts. I rotate through about 20 shirts.  Yeah, it is kind of boring, but it is simple, but my clothes are clean and they look nice.  Then one day a female coworker called me out, irritated, saying that I should invest more in my wardrobe.  She said “Why do you men get away with cheap outfits and can wear the same thing everyday, it is not fair!”.  I asked her why she doesn’t just adopt a blue jeans and cotton blouse routine like me and stop paying a fortune for her work clothes.  She thought about it for a second, c~~~ed her head and in a scornful tone said “Geez, if I wore the same clothes, every woman in this office would whisper about me and I’d be ridiculed and embarrassed and…” I cut her off and said, “There’s your answer!” and I walked away.

    The simple fact is that woman are judgmental, petty and insecure.  They use their wardrobe to indicate wealth and makeup to indicate health.  Without all of their dressings they feel exposed.  They are jealous that men are free to look as they please, without social judgement.  I’ve read that woman in the U.S. in their quest for beauty expose themselves to 50x the chemicals than woman in the third world do.  All those bleaches and dyes and teeth whiteners and nail polish’s and removers and douches and perfumes and powders and lip glosses and hair removers and diet aids and diet foods and….  It never stops does it?  I believe this is why the female breast cancer rate continues to grow in this country.  But just try to suggest to a woman (especially an attractive one who doesn’t need makeup) to cut back on her cosmetic use and she will bite your head off.

    Man, I am so glad that I am a man!

     

    #24473
    Mgtow_85
    mgtow_85
    Participant
    752

    I had this one incident with a female coworker at my work just last night.

    I had bought a bag of some of these small, but tasty gourmet cheeses–like $3.50 for a bag of 12, as an addition to the sandwich I brought for lunch. I was snacking on my third one on my lunch break when she looks at what I got and she says, “Ooooohh, I want one of those!”

    “You want one of my cheeses?” I asked matter-of-factly. “You can have one if you pay me a dollar.”

    “But…I don’t have a dollar.” she said, sounding deflated.

    “Well, that’s too bad, sorry.” I unwrapped another piece of cheese and plopped it in my mouth.

    “I think you’re just being rude.” she retorted, obviously unable to take the image of me enjoying a morsel of food that she wants and that she cannot get for herself. Oh, sure, go there with the shaming just to get what you want, right?

    But I didn’t give a s~~~ what she, or anyone else, happens to think of me.

    “So…you think I’m rude because I won’t share MY lunch with you?” I shot back. “I paid money for this food, and all of a sudden, you feel entitled to some of it and you don’t want to compensate me for it? Where does it say that I need to offer a portion of my food supplies at work to anyone who just ASKS for it?”

    “Well, to me, it just means you aren’t being polite.”

    “I WAS being polite, when I said you can have some of this cheese for a dollar. If I was being as rude as you think I am, I would have told you to get lost. But here’s some advice. I bought this at the Walmart right next door, and if you have such a big craving for cheese, you can simply go next door and buy some, or you can pay me a dollar if you want to pick apart my lunch. I don’t do things for free, and I don’t bring my lunch to work just so other coworkers who don’t want to bring anything for themselves want to get all p~~~ed off just because I won’t share it with them. Think what you want, but I don’t believe in giving out things for FREE just because they want whatever I bring.”

    She was stumped by my debate and refused to speak to me any further.

    Yes, I am a mean and heartless bastard because I’m not going to the store to buy groceries with MY hard-earned money just so I can support the hunger cravings of coworkers who wouldn’t give a s~~~ about me at any other time. This woman would never think of giving me a ride home if I needed it, but apparently I’m rude because I won’t jettison my food supplies for the satisfaction of her hunger cravings.

    #28525
    +1
    Giggity
    Giggity
    Participant
    20

    Woman like to taste each others food but when they ask to taste a mans food it is often to display their power over him.  For this reason I douse everything with hot sauce.

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