Women who don't want children

[WolfParticipant 890]

I’m sure most of us know the goals of most women: to get married and have children with an aplha male that provides for her and the kids.

These (most) women are supposedly wired to derive happiness from having and rearing children. A look back through history shows lots of examples.

Considering what most women are wired to be and want, how do we explain women who don’t want chidlren? More importantly, what can a guy expect in terms of her behavior when he dates such a woman?

[TravisParticipant 84]

I think it’s mostly about materialism and being self-centered. If she has a child, that will be less money for her and she doesn’t want to stop having her party lifestyle.

One woman I know is extremely vain and said she’s never had children because it would ruin her body. This same woman told a married man she would marry him if he left his wife, which he did, but then she didn’t marry him. Shows the character of this kind of woman. Stay away.

Best advice my dad gave me, "Don't get married. Don't have kids."

[AncientwisdomParticipant 6089]

I think there are two reasons for this new phenomenon:

1. They want to indefinitely maintain being the center of attention.

2. They dont want to “ruin” their bodies.

This whole trend got traction just about a decade ago, coincidentally about the same time “reality” shows became poplar. God they are disgusting. No doubt the KarTRASHians have lowered womens values. I cant BELIEVE anyone watches that trash. It really is a perversion of nature for women to not want children.

Resident cynic.

[Knights Templar RisingParticipant 5106]

Women who don’t want children, are typically vain.  That being said there are different levels of vanity.

Vanity can be a good thing, such as a successful woman that doesn’t want to be tied down with kids.  Or perhaps, wisely, they are willing to admit that their careers leave them little time to be an involved mother.  This type of woman might be a keeper, if she is honest with herself and you.

Vanity can be a bad thing, such as the woman who doesn’t want to ruin her body or keep playing the field.  They are usually dysfunctional and narcissistic, and will be their whole lives.  Generally this vanity is not related to a career, or
“life’s Passion”, they are borderline sociopaths and are to be avoided.  There may be a few unicorns in that crowd, but not worth the risk.

Vanity can be “meh”, such as the stereotypical “cat lady” 40-something type.  Usually this stems from immaturity, and them not wanting to grow up earlier in life – they lived in a delusion of being “eternally hip” until they got old.  Often they have lackluster jobs, and live with an aging parent.  In the past they subconsciously avoided LTRs, by chasing “unavailable” men – whether they were “out of her league” in some way, or even someone who is married.  If you can handle their stories of glory days, the stench of pee from 10 cats, the babbling old man in the corner, then these women *might* have some potential.  But usually there is some hidden dysfunction there, it is a matter of how much you stomach.

I would view all of these women with a intelligent level of skepticism.  I know there are some diamonds in that crowd, but not many.

Sovereignty above all else.

[Be Her DaddyParticipant 410]

I dated one of those for 5 years. She absolutely hated kids. She was a narcissistic lunatic and a feminazi with a lot of mommy issues. She was also completely selfish.

The reason she didn’t want kids is because she never wanted to grow up. She was a living Carrie Bradshaw in her mind and that’s what she wanted to do with her life; act like an immature fool. It took years for me to realize her issues were not going away. Friends were ALWAYS the most important. I was well down the list.. Drinking at the bar 4-5 nights a week was normal for her and she argued that it was cheaper to eat out than to cook at home. She couldn’t cook anything. This was the lifestyle she wanted to sustain and she knew all the responsibilities of being mature and having a family would get in the way. She totaled 2 new cars driving drunk and she knew having kids would limit the time she would have to be doing stuff like that…

I stay away from women who don’t want kids. I don’t waste any time with them. They are selfish and have more issues than the average woman.

[Anonymous 12]

I think if someone knows they don’t want kids it is best they don’t have them, we don’t want more neglected little s~~~s out there causing problems. So I respect someone male or female who knows that parents and kids aren’t for them.

That said there are many women who do want kids and due to their rather high and ever changing standards they miss their chance altogether. So whatever really at least a woman has the choice to do it alone, a man if he really wants to be  a father still has to roll the dice with a woman.

 

[FIDKParticipant 32]

Travis wrote:

I think it’s mostly about materialism and being self-centered. If she has a child, that will be less money for her and she doesn’t want to stop having her party lifestyle. One woman I know is extremely vain and said she’s never had children because it would ruin her body. This same woman told a married man she would marry him if he left his wife, which he did, but then she didn’t marry him. Shows the character of this kind of woman. Stay away.

 

That is code for she is barren and knows it. Often times that c~~~ carousel has its repercussions.  It is far easier to say she does not want kids than to say she f~~~ed so many men that some VD gummed up her plumbing. Or,  she might be on some sort of mental health medication that requires birth control, etc. Or, yes, she is lying. She will get knocked up by accident, blame you, and force you to pay for stuff. She will hate you and the kid “she never wanted” while you are working your ass to feed the land whale she has become.

 

[DurdenParticipant 1051]

I disagree because there is a counterpoint in that you could say men who don’t want children are spoiled. Now if they are not having children because of the current environment filled with landmines then that goes to your argument. But there are also men who do not want to have children despite any sort of society. I’m not sure myself but defiantly not in this society perhaps another.

Wolf wrote:

These (most) women are supposedly wired to derive happiness from having and rearing children. A look back through history shows lots of examples. Considering what most women are wired to be and want, how do we explain women who don’t want chidlren? More importantly, what can a guy expect in terms of her behavior when he dates such a woman?

You could also say (most) men derive happiness from children. Entire nations have been defined by lineage. The entire Persian Empire was related. A father teaching his son lessons. That’s what western society lacks that once made it so powerful. Despite us being told we make horrible parents and a child does not need us. They need a strong male influence.

So it really depends on the women who don’t want children. I personally think its more irresponsible and selfish to have children just because everyone says to and not because you truly want them. Its a lifestyle choice and a huge commitment to be a good parent. I have gotten “when are you getting married and having children” a couple of times and I will defiantly get it more as I get older.

It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything

[WolfParticipant 890]

Durden wrote:

I disagree because there is a counterpoint in that you could say men who don’t want children are spoiled. Now if they are not having children because of the current environment filled with landmines then that goes to your argument. But there are also men who do not want to have children despite any sort of society. I’m not sure myself but defiantly not in this society perhaps another.

This is the primary reason why I don’t want children. Accordingly, I want to date women who don’t want children.

I started this thread because it’s is VERY common for a woman to seek a male provider for her and the future kids she wants. However, if she doesn’t want children and has her own career, would she still seek the male provider? If so, on what grounds? As I asked in my OP, what can a guy expect in terms of her behavior when he dates such a woman?

[narwhalParticipant]

I don’t know that you can definitely tie not wanting kids to a specific set of behavior.  The stereotype would be that she is selfish, same as it is for men, but that’s not necessarily true.  It could be that she just knows she wouldn’t make a good mother.  It could be that she knows her career doesn’t fit well with motherhood.    It could be that she doesn’t fill like it’s right to bring a child into this world.  Maybe she lacks self esteem and doesn’t think she’s worthy.  All reasons that have nothing to do with selfishness.

You really don’t get a short cut here.  You actually have to talk to the woman and understand what she’s about instead of assuming personality based on a random fact.  You can play the odds and guess she’s likely selfish so as to not waste your time, but you can’t know for sure.  And I’m not suggesting NAWALT, there will be trouble, just can’t tell what type of trouble from kids or no kids, IMO.

Ok. Then do it.

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