Why the F~~~

[Anonymous 5]

I’ll write this in bullet points, because I’m a man going my own way, and my way has bullet points.

– Broke up with my latest(and last) girlfriend last thursday (11th Dec) as she was a naggy, annoying bitch who was trying to move in with me and basically got me into debt as well as gave me s~~~ for seeing my child and using variants of the line “you just want to see <childs mother> rather than <child> dont you?!?”

– My girlfriend works in the same company as me, just across the hall in fact. I’m an engineer, she is an admin assistant (Yes i know, I’m a f~~~ing idiot for doing that).

– Her entire admin team(all girls and one guy) as well as most of the women at work, now hate my guts, and her team actively exclude me from everything, including tea rounds, helping out etc.

– Secret santa gifts, company policy is £5 per gift, we all pull names out of a hat to get a gift for someone. Everyone adheres to this, and today gifts are handed to everyone by the director (obviously it’s secret santa so no one knows who bought who what, and presents were discretely left all this week outside directors office to be distributed today). Whoever got my ex, spent at least £100+ on her, flowers, perfume etc.

– I’m not leaving as the company are paying for my engineering training, and she wont leave as it’s her only income.

Advice I need – What the f~~~ should I do to deal with this? and also, why am I jealous that someone bought her all those gifts? Whats up with that?
Help me out guys in my moment of weakness.

Manly handshakes and nods to you all.

[RoyDalParticipant]

I went fishing in the secretarial pool a few times. It was always a mistake: the same thing happened to me each and every time. That overshare off my chest, here are my thoughts on your plight.

– Stick with your company as long as the cost/benefit ratio is in your favor. You want the training benefits, yes. You really should not care about what others think of you — what they think of you is none of your business. Thus the only cost might be the thought balloons above their heads.
– If they can do you harm, those who are on her side, then bail as soon as you can. You can get training elsewhere. Besides, engineers are a lot more valuable to companies than secretaries. Your company might not think so, but the next one will.
– That £100+ gift basket could be a ruse cooked up by her and her pals for all you know.
– Jealousy is normal. It’s like Stockholm Syndrome, survivor’s guilt, and buyer’s remorse. It will pass if you don’t wallow in it, and it will be replaced by other emotions, mostly its opposite.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[jambearParticipant 282]

RoyDal more or less summed it up nicely.

Do not feel to bad for dipping into the secretary pool, I think we all do it at one time or another, it is why the phrase “don’t s~~~ where you eat” exists in the first place.

If some guy wants to give your ex the old in and out that is no concern of yours. If he gives it to her well enough it will keep her off your back. 🙂

Congrats on the breakup and I hope you have a Merry Christmas with your child.

[coolsideofthepillowParticipant 190]

Unfortunately for you the games have just begun, its hard not to feel jealous and have all kinds of emotions you’d rather not have pop up when you put yourself into these positions. Unfortunately the thing women are really good at is tapping into these feelings your having and trying to destroy you with them. I would prepare yourself because the next move is to sleep with one of the manginas you work with, she will most likely try to screw whatever man has the most authority over you in the office. It will most likely be one of your bosses if that situation is available for her. Just know that she will definitely not let you out of this one easy because women hold grudges so this mind game will probably continue until she has gone through a relationship cycle with another guy and then warms up to you again in order to emotionally destroy him. Just do your best to emotionally detach yourself from the situation as much as you can and you will naturally come out on top. If you fail to emotionally detach from it women are like dogs that can sense fear and no matter how much you try to cover up how you feel she will know, so your emotional detachment has to be genuine.

[Anonymous 0]

Hi Britghow

well, you are not in a comfortable situation. No need to point out that it is no good idea getting in a relationship with a female co-worker in your company. Anyway, s~~~ happens.

You know it for the future.

I guess it is not neccessary to mention that you try to avoid the contact with that woman as good as possible.

As an engineer I know that you will not have a normal 9 to 5 job, guess you work 10 or 12 hours a day. I did it in my younger engineer days and i loved my job so I did enjoy it. Maybe you can shift your worktime a little bit in a way that you are in the company when she is not or vice versa. It is impossible to handle it for the entire workday but maybe one or two hours less will support you in avoiding any contact. Just for a few weeks.

I guess some of your co-workers know that you have been in a relationship with that woman. If they ask you about it, explain it to them. Do not make the mistake and say, “Hey, that is my private thing, my problem not yours”. Of course it is your problem but don’t scare you co-workers. Just explain it to them if they ask you. Don’t blame the failure of the relationship on you and don’t blame it on her. Explain it in a way that both of you has drifting apart or in that way. Be unemotional so everyone will realise that it is over.

When you realise that there are any intrigues or going on against you, you have to talk about your worries with the leader of your department.
I hope it is not a mangina and I dont’t know how good you are working together but it is always better when you come to his place to talk about your worries than he had to come to you because he noticed that there is something going on because you neglect your work.

I like to say that it is honorable that you don’t want to leave the company because they paid for you engeneering training. I guess you did receive some dated certificates and every new employer will ask you why you just let the company pay the training and then leaving. Not a good figurehead. And all because of a woman !?! Hmmh.

The jealousy is another thing. You did not have yourself complete uncoupled to her. Time will make it. Hey, you left her not even two weeks ago.
I don’t know the scenario about the santa gifts but maybe she made you jealous in an unconscious way like “Hey, look here. Someone else loves me now and buy me those gifts”. One more reason to let her go and save yourself.

Maybe it sounds ironically but you should wish her that she will find a blue pillar who will finance her, or maybe she will get pregnant. Than she has to leave the company and maybe never come back, and you are in a nice position in going on with your stuff and your way.

Anyway, have a good christmas time and all the best for the future.

CHEERS !!!

[Author]

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