Home › Forums › Introductions › Why I stopped pursuing women PART I
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avillax 4 years, 8 months ago.
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I have finally decided not to pursue women any more, my story is as follows:
When I was a kid I had dreams of marrying a woman and forming a family, it was very embedded in my mind, perhaps from watching my parents being mostly happy, I can remember liking girls even from kindergarten and I used to tell my parents that I really wanted to marry some of them and I remember I was really in love at the tender age of 6 years old.
Unfortunately most of my childhood after that was spent on a private school only for boys in Mexico and when I started interacting with girls again until High School I realized I had no social skills for women even though I was good looking, from a good family in a good financial position.
As you know, the dating world is brutal and my lack of skills brought a lot of frustration until one day I had my first girlfriend at age 19, I must say she was the only one I had good times with, we were together for more than 2 years and what made me break up with her was that she was letting herself go and had very little libido and this was also affecting her general stamina: was pretty much allergic to exercise, would get tired after one minute being in cowgirl or doggy position, in fact, sex was a very energy demanding activity for her, she didn’t crave it even though we were teens!. So we broke up and now that I’m 32 and looking back at this relationship I accept that it was the best I had.
After that I realized I still didn’t have the right skills for meeting women, so I joined the seduction community and was finally getting something. After almost 3 years of being single (not by will) I charmed a pretty girl at a wedding I was invited to, it took a lot of effort but at the end of the night I thought I had been solid and we agreed to go out on a date, I remember calling her to ask her out and she seemed excited and happy and agreed on the date, etc. Then on the day of the actual date I sent her a message “I’ll be picking you up in about 30 minutes”, she never replied and got me worried, then I started calling her and she wouldn’t pick up, nor reply to my messages, after hours of frustration I knew she had stood me up. I later learned from her cousin that she told her she did so because she liked another guy.
But why lie? why play with somebody’s feelings? I was taught a high sense of morality by my parents, never to play with people, always say the truth, and always keep my word. And this girl I met was actually from a good family, with good education, not some ghetto trash, it didn’t matter, later on I was going to realize that 99% of women were like that, in fact, our society doesn’t even put much emphasis on women keeping their word or having these righteous values, that is more supposed to be a man’s thing since women are deemed “fragile” and “needing protection” and being “victims” and so our society practically gives them a free forgiveness pass for whatever crap they do. If karma applied to them this girl will somehow pay for this, but sadly I found out she married a rich guy a year ago, they never have it hard to get what they want.
Little later I finally met and started dating an older girl who was really sexual and good in bed, everything was great for the first month but she always seemed to have issues until she started withdrawing sex, pushing me away for no reason, acting cold and putting me on a “waiting list”, a friend of mine who was a psychiatrist told me she had Borderline Personality Disorder, I can’t describe the mess she did with my brain and feelings but I ended up with depression, bed-ridden, and had to take medication.
After so much pain and recovery I got on track again and started going out and after 9 months I met through a friend another really cute girl, it was weird because she was the one who actually hit on me, I knew I was good looking but to have women hitting on me was unusual. After dating and being happy on the first week, again I noticed she was taking depression pills, going to see a shrink on Tuesdays, “Group Therapy” whatever that meant on Thursdays, then she began to change just like the previously mentioned girlfriend and then she broke up with me on the phone after one month. The fact that she did so by the phone was hurting because I was educated to always do these kind of things in person, also during all this time I had been a good boyfriend looking to have a long-term functional relationship. In the end, again, a woman displayed total lack of empathy and values. My psychiatrist friend again also told me she was probably bipolar or borderline.
Finally, after 9 months came the third looney, a beautiful French girl who was a recent acquaintance from my best friend. Everything was so great at the beginning but she had a history of anorexia, in fact she told me she was locked down in a hospital at age 16 because otherwise she was going to die but that she had left that behind. Again, after a month, she changed from being the most loving, sexual, charismatic girlfriend into an ice cube, withholding sex, not communicating and having moments of extreme depression that seemed suicidal, I couldn’t understand why, I was doing everything I could to keep her happy, even planning trips to the beach and anything, even helping her with her paperwork to get a work permit as her student permit was over, etc. And every time I asked her about her feelings towards me, she just remained silent. After only 3 months of relationship I began to lose it, I just wanted a normal loving long term relationship like I once did with my first girlfriend, was it so hard to ask? In my crazy attempt to “save” our relationship I yielded to lending her $2000 to help her pay for her studies, she said she was sending money every month but the money transfer fees were $30 each time and she wanted to avoid this by making one payment every 6 months but that she would pay me every month for 6 months.
After that, I had to break up with her when her bipolarity went to extreme and she began to avoid me, we had been together for 3 months only. Then the monthly payments never arrived, they never did for more than a year, she said she didn’t have money, then after her depression and getting her permit and work she began to hang out again with some of my friends and they reported to me that she was paying for her drinks and food, yet she would always tell me she didn’t have any money, after having to beg her to give me my money back (I would have given up to the idea but some of my friends would make fun of me for having been ripped off) I let her know through a friend that I was going to sue her, in that moment she slowly began paying until after 3 years she finally paid the full $2000, in that time, of course, she had been dating another guy and they’re still together for more than 3 years to my dismay as I always thought a woman like that would be too crazy to last more than a few months with anyone but as destiny’s joke she seems to be better now mentally/emotionally, just not with me but with another guy and the guy.
And it also hurts that after all the damage done they get other partners effortless, while we have to battle so much and get nothing, not only that, but for a while I felt she was banging this guy while enjoying the money I lent her. The idea of marriage then began to slip away from me, the fact that you could divorce and have to pay alimony while a woman could have a live-in partner and be banging him while leaching off of you just seems like hell on earth on my mind. The idea of happiness I had as a child was no more, marriage was not happiness.
After this experience I began to see shrinks looking for an explanation of why I had had 3 crazy girlfriends in a row with the same mental problem (BPD) I wanted to find out if I was broken myself, but to my surprise they couldn’t find anything wrong with me, it just seemed bad luck or not enough experience with women, in other words there are many things society doesn’t want to accept and one of them is that maybe as much as 50% of the female population suffers from some kind of mental/emotional disease.
After that I joined a religious movement and became a missionary, and the story doesn’t end up there, if you wanna hear more, please comment because I have more crazy stories to tell.
I would love to hear more. I’m sorry for what you had to go through before arriving here.
it’s not bad luck. unicorns do not exist. part 2 plz.
Men CAN love … that’s why you’re hurting.
Women CAN’T love …. that’s why they can move on not giving you a second thought.
STOP trying to find something wrong with yourself. The problem is not there.
You can’t change a woman with love. You can only change the way you interact with them.
Read ‘The Manipulated Man’
Waking up to this is a hard shock …. but worth it.
Stay strong and tell us more.
Anonymous11Welcome man! Three Borderlines, and you survived to tell the story. That is a standing testimony to you.
I had the unfortunate experience of dating one BPD for a few months and ran for the hills once I learned what BPD is. I had to trick her into making her think she had dumped me. I just couldn’t allow myself to be her cuckold man slave which was how she liked to roll. I became a Borderline detecting machine after that experience as they take every manipulative tactic in the female playbook to a completely different level.
They get into relationships so seemingly quickly as your replacement was seduced and bagged before you were dropped. They are branch swingers of the highest level.
Welcome bro. I think its like 70% of women just in the US alone are on antidepressants. So you weren’t alone in the struggle.
I’ve had my share of crazy women which was pretty much all of them and you described them perfectly. They’re all the same in one way or another.
"The wounds of honor are self inflicted"
Welcome! You’ve lost your chains. Enjoy your freedom.
Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?
Man, this is just insane.
Welcome!OK so since I see your support here’s part 2:
After my life was f~~~ed up for dating BPD women I decided to leave everything behind and so I quit my job and joined a spiritual movement and became a missionary. I really believed in their teachings, specially since I experienced them first hand: I had astral projections, I had transcendental experiences, I met dead Masters in another dimension.
The problem was that they put so much emphasis on finding a partner in order to practice white tantra to achieve liberation. My liberation depended on it and they also said that if one lived a righteous life that partner would soon or later arrive.
So I began to live a chaste and righteous life but the partner never came and I always felt the pressure and the shame for being unable to find her, in fact I spent more than 3 year alone until I quit the movement and became Buddhist.
Almost 4 years after my last breakup I finally had another girlfriend, she was a good girl but I knew the relationship was doomed since the beginning since she had trust issues because her mother had her when she was a single mother and raised her to distrust men. Also her parents were from a lower social background and when they found out I was inviting her daughter to spend the night with me (even though she was 26, though a virgin before knowing me) they did everything they could to brainwash her into breaking up with me after only 4 months of relationship for not having a marriage proposal on the table. Of course I wasn’t going to have those idiots as parents in law.
After this and knowing that being a good guy wasn’t going to bring any women to my life, I began to go to nightclubs again and partying hard. Then on my brother’s wedding in Cancun a friend of his introduced me to some girls he had met the day before and I had a one night stand with one of them.
She had a nice body but her face was so, so, in fact I always thought she was an OK girl, we had fun that night and we agreed to go out, she was also from the same city I was living at which was quite strange considering the city only has 250, 000 people, so it was pure luck.
I added her to facebook and took some days before talking about going out. Then when I finally did, she started to make up excuses not to go out with me although she seemed to genuinely like me. She was 1 year older (33) just OK-looking, so I couldn’t understand why her ex boyfriend looked like a model, a “hunk” and also had money, I mean, I thought a guy like that could get a much hotter girl. I sadly discovered that with the city being so small and not particularly known for female beauty this OK girl was in super high demand, so much that the reason she wasn’t going out with me was because she was seeing other guys (typical, women tend to label men as player but as you know reality is the opposite since they have unlimited supply of choices), I mean it is not even fair. I stopped talking to her and then she contacted me randomly and we agreed to go on a date, which she later cancelled the same day. As a good guy, I was trying to be good, not just have a nightstand and run, but contrary to what women say, they’re the ones actually playing. A lot of time invested and like always they’re the ones who decide Yes or No.
2 weeks after that, I got lucky, my player friend who gets a lot of pussy (70% of the reason is because he has lots of money and spends lots of money showing off a lot) invited a f~~~ buddy from Bulgaria who brought a friend with her. I seduced her friend and we were together for 5 days having sex 3 times per day and enjoying one another.
There was something weird about this girl, for instance, her friend was a total gold digger, vane and bitchy, in contrast, my girl was very quiet. She also f~~~ed like a pornstar, I mean she would take the condom off and start sucking my dick wanting me to cum inside her mouth, I had never had a girlfriend do that, I cannot say I actually enjoyed it because everything was too hard core and fast so I couldn’t enjoy it much but I appreciated her effort and the fact that she wanted to f~~~ 3 times per day. But I always felt she was a “Pro”. She was also very cuddly, very loving, I thought I didn’t care if she didnt talk much or was not perfect, all I wanted was a loving girl and good company and so far she was. I also thought it was a good thing we had an open relationship since I didnt want to fall in love quickly or anything.
She looked pretty with all the make up on and her expensive clothes and Victoria Secret but once she was completely naked her boobs were horribly saggy, her pussy all f~~~ed up and her legs and butt full of cellulite at age 28. She also had had a child. In my inexperienced mind (I had had sex with 11 girls before her in my 32 years old and only 5 girlfriends mostly with which I lasted no more than 4 months each) I thought I was actually doing her a favor, I thought since she had a child she would be lonely and hard for her to find a man. Later on I was about to find how naive I was…
Also they had a fishy business, they said they had a “sensual massage business” in London where they hired mostly Brazilian girls to jack off guys. This is legal in London and other places in Europe, so though it was fishy I thought it was OK.
They went back to London and we kept an open relationship mostly talking on Skype. Then I moved to Prague and being close we started to plan seeing each other. She traveled to Bulgaria and invited me to come visit her. I knew Bulgaria was crap so I tried to convince her to visit me or I could see her in London after she came back from Bulgaria.With my humble experience with f~~~ed up women I knew many things could go wrong, specially in a place like Bulgaria, so I was hesitant to go, but she Honey Potted me into booking a flight to see her “We will have fun” she said…
Then, she told me the reason she was in Bulgaria was because she was gonna get a boob job, I totally thought she needed it, problem was that her doctor decided to operate before I arrived instead of afterwards, that meant I was going to see her just after her operation and that didn’t feel right though I couldnt cancel or change the flight and she said it was no problem, “we would have fun anyways” she said…
The moment I arrived to her room in Bulgaria, I saw her lying in bed with a cold face, I kissed her and she stood there like a cold statue. The happy, super sensual, cuddly, loving woman was gone, just like any of my previous BPD ex girlfriends, at that moment I knew I was f~~~ed…
Wanna hear more of my sick stories? Comment below and I will continue.
Your life is book worthy. You’ve sure had some trials and tribulations.
Damn you shocked me with the last part! I dont know what to say to this?I guess go your own way but damn…….
Never lose sight of what brought you here.
Part 3
That night I slept on her bed and I had nightmares, in my nightmares I was having a s~~~ty time and she was ignoring me. I woke up the next day to find out that I was having a s~~~ty time and she was ignoring me!
At the beginning it had to do with her being sore from the boob operation but the next day she was feeling completely recovered and instead of taking me to fun places or showing me around the city she went to get a massage and left me waiting at the lobby for more than an hour, then we went to have lunch with her friends and besides keeping her distance she didn’t want to have a picture with me, all of that was strange, she then suggested watching Furious 7 and just before entering the cinema she sad “Baby I’m feeling very tired to watch the movie” I agreed but instead of being tired she began to visit every single store in the mall dragging me as an accessory.
She was on the phone 90% of the time, I had never seen a person being on the phone that much, she was carrying 3 cellphones actually, she said it was business-related because she was running the “Sensual Massage” business in London. Then I found the truth, I saw her texting the new girl: “It’s 50 pounds for BJ with Condom, 200 for penetration” This was no massage place, they were running a prostitution ring in London flying girls from Bulgaria and South America. This explained how she and her friend seemed to have a lot of money and spending a lot and showing off and bringing expensive gifts to her friends (typical low life behavior) I was sure her friend the Gold Digger who started the business probably started as a call girl herself and my girl could have worked as one too (I mean the way she had sex was pro-like). It’s incredibly how her friend saw herself as a successful, independent, hard working business woman; In reality they were friggin’ low lives!
I also found out she had no relationship skills at all, I mean she did have many girlfriends and would talk to them all the time but with me she only talked about going to clubs, shopping, expensive travel, plastic surgery (she said now she wanted a lip job) and about her new personal trainer, she also had an addiction to using the phone, I knew this was probably the reason her ex husband dumped her for another woman, btw he was the owner of a strip club. At the same time she gave him custody of the child so that the boy could live with a family while she used the excuse of making money in London, but who goes to clubs 4 times a week at age 28 and having a kid?
The situation turned scary, I was in a crappy European country staying with people I didn’t really know, I began to plan my exit but the return flights were really expensive I decided to wait just 2 more days to get the hell out with the ticket I already had, at some point I joked with myself about being Liam Neeson in “Taken”. Now we were meeting her friends all the time and now she didn’t bother in talking in English, now everything was Bulgarian, no longer cared about me, in fact I suggested we took a tour on the historical center of Sofia and in front of her friends she told me “I’d love to baby but I have an appointment to get my nails done”, her friends had an expression in their face where they were feeling pity for me and probably thought their friend was not acting in the right way but they remained quiet.
The last hours before my flight I didn’t act upset or anything, I didn’t need more dramas, so I listen patiently to her and by making conversation I found out she was banging the whole city! I mean, I’m surprised sometimes as how naive I can be, the reality is that women will always have it easy when it comes to relationships. The woman I thought was having a hard time meeting men and being lonely for being a single mother in reality was banging even her gynecologist! She even told me she was going to have dinner with him on day I was to leave Bulgaria, and she without shame or guilt started mentioning all the men she was banging, some of them were married, one was her dentist, gynecologist, etc. Why invite me over then? She wasn’t lacking any attention.
I mean, I was not in love with her, we had an open relationship, but why the f~~~ convince me to go visit her, promising to have fun, really honey potting me into going even though I was resisting to go as much as I could, to finally arrive and act like she didn’t know me and completely turn into a cold distant human being? That can only be women’s logic, also I don’t know if she was also BPD or bipolar but this hot/cold behavior just seems to be actually natural in women.
After that I never messaged her again, she also didn’t.
I lived 5 days of hell in Bulgaria, I was p~~~ed off but above all, so disappointed at women, I would not recover afterwards, perhaps I finally understood I was chasing unicorns…
Sounds to me you were dating as a White Knight.
Date as a MGHOW and you will see a difference.
"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it"
Yeah I know what being a White Knight is about, I was in the seduction community, I know what I did wrong if actually any fault can be attributed to me. But if I wanted to f~~~ her again this is what I should have done:
Ignore her all the time, not even talk to her on skype.
Not accept to go visit her, make her come visit me. Even though she gets plenty of male attention and f~~~ buddies but the fact of ignoring her and treating her like s~~~ would have placed me on top of her list. Their idiotic logic.
I also made the mistake of arriving with a cuddly/affectionate attitude and throwing the first kiss, I did this because this is the way she was behaving when I met her. Instead I should just have arrived there like a random f~~~er.
In the end there was no exit for me once arriving to that s~~~hole of a country, I was doomed, this is what these animals do to us.
@The Road Warrior
Thanks for sharing that part of your life with us. I greatly appreciated it and got heaps out of it.
It appears you were after certain aspects of a real relationship with a female but somehow attracted toxic nut jobs!
Well, I don’t know about that, Reality Factor, it appears to me perhaps every woman in this earth are a nut job with very rare exceptions (such as my first girlfriend)
It is a fact that because of the way things are ,the chance of a man finding a woman who will love him for who he is and have his back and care about him thru think and thin is infinitesimally small .
This can be a very painful thing to realize.
@ Road warrior
Im sorry you went thru this.Its very similar to things that many of us have gone thru.We all hope that our experiences can help other men avoid our fate.
Much of womens behavior has a lot to do with how humans evolved.There is much to learn here.
frankly my dear i don't give a damn
frankly my dear i don't give a damn
Yeah actually I have the habit of having very powerful dreams that become a revelation of my life. A few days ago I dreamed that I was in a market full of women, and they were all carrying babies and ignoring all the adult men. I looked at them and I just didn’t feel any connection to having children but in my understanding from the dream, that was all they were looking for.
So I woke up and I realize that no matter how women want to mask it, we believe they don’t know what they want and they might seem to not know what they want either but in reality all they want is to have kids and they will do anything to achieve this, either consciously or unconsciously. Also my understanding from the dream is that they can provide a lot of love but only to children. Thus we confuse motherly love to the love that a partner can give us, we imagine we can have sex and love in one person but this is not the case, women can only love their children, it is nature. Guys who are born without a mother are particularly at risk into marrying and end up as a wallet.
Women cannot love adult men, they can only pretend in order to have children.
I for one am kinda interested about your “revelations” or “visions” or how else you’d like to call it. Is there a way one could achieve any of this by himself? I’ve seen what Reiki did to my mother and I’d like to avoid meeting any groups at all costs, but the sole idea of meditation seems alluring.
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