Why do coworkers remember my awkward moments?

[BlackValeParticipant 79]

Sometimes at work we tease each other for fun but I notice that the way I am teased is a bit different and similar to in the past. Say I make a blunder in public (Sinc we do eat out often) and order something not on the menu or not know what something is on the menu. And people laugh. No big deal. The problem is when it’s constantly brought up in future conversations and people still tease me about it. It strikes a sore spot since I am still insecure about my social skills, but when someone else makes a mistake it isn’t remembered or brought up nearly as often.

The question is why does this happen? Could this be because I barely pay any attention to people at work? I used to think that it was because people do get a bit insecure themselves because they are being ignored and sometimes act out for attention. Or is this viewpoint me being self centered and others like to be assholes whenever possible. Also I am still working on my social skills. It’s a lot harder than I thought it would be.

[743 roadmasterParticipant]

It sounds like you make it very obvious “I am still insecure about my social skills” in the type events you brought up. If you love the job or this is the only issue, overlook it. Hate the job, start looking for another.

Work on building your self confidence. Social skills build on your self confidence.

mgtow is its own worst enemy- https://www.campusreform.org/

[AwakenedParticipant 35202]

I would just engage with them on a NEEDED basis ONLY.

In a World of Justin Beibers Be a Johnny Cash

[ChristopherParticipant 2478]

Yes if needs be do not associate with them. Watch more MGTOW videos for confidence – Big John videos are a good start. See link below. (With thanks to Gargamel for backing up many MGTOW channels).

Feminism was funded by bankers/politicians to create more taxpayers. MGTOW IS FREEDOM https://archive.org/details/mgtowisfreedomblurayready

[BigDParticipant 3024]

Human nature. We expect things to go right. So when they do they don’t get noticed as much or if at all. However, things that aren’t right we notice quickly and for a long while. This is a survival tactic. We expect the bananas on the tree to taste good and the meat on the fire to satisfy. However, that dang wolf over there eyeballing the baby isn’t a good thing. Need to keep an eye out and remember that dang wolf. No baby snacks for you, Wolfie. Make a pelt out of you and feed your meat to my baby, Mr. Woflie, and your whole pack too.

Don't stick your dick into anyone you aren't willing to put up with for eighteen years and nine months.

[BlackValeParticipant 79]

743 roadmaster wrote:

It sounds like you make it very obvious “I am still insecure about my social skills” in the type events you brought up. If you love the job or this is the only issue, overlook it. Hate the job, start looking for another.
Work on building your self confidence. Social skills build on your self confidence.

I don’t like the job but I like my coworkers. I am planning on finding a new one in October since I will have been here 6 months and this is my first developer position.

As for making it obvious I do. Some people still say they don’t notice though but I feel more confident than in the past. I still have a long way to go.

Anyways I am going to avoid them. Some actually give a little advice but those who don’t are draining and I don’t deal with them.

[Two Time WinnerParticipant 1090]

Sounds like a nerdy, IT group.. Be glad you don’t fit in.

TTW

I ain't got a wife to spend my money, I have to do that all by myself.

[BlackValeParticipant 79]

Two Time Winner wrote:

Sounds like a nerdy, IT group.. Be glad you don’t fit in.
TTW

Most of the people I work with aren’t nerdy at all and are a socialites. I work at a big company in the south and the south is known for being extremely cliquish sometime.

[TaxGuyParticipant]

One tip: just remember that when you’re worried about it they are trying to figure out what to have for dinner. It takes up WAY more space in your head than it does in there’s. Not to sound like an asshole, but you’re not THAT important. At least not to them.

To put it nicer, don’t worry brother, you’re fine.

Order the good wine

[743 roadmasterParticipant]

BlackVale wrote:

743 roadmaster wrote:

It sounds like you make it very obvious “I am still insecure about my social skills” in the type events you brought up. If you love the job or this is the only issue, overlook it. Hate the job, start looking for another.Work on building your self confidence. Social skills build on your self confidence.

I don’t like the job but I like my coworkers. I am planning on finding a new one in October since I will have been here 6 months and this is my first developer position.
As for making it obvious I do. Some people still say they don’t notice though but I feel more confident than in the past. I still have a long way to go.
Anyways I am going to avoid them. Some actually give a little advice but those who don’t are draining and I don’t deal with them.

Sounds like you are on the right path man. Future interactions should get easier as you build, and get promoted in the new job.

mgtow is its own worst enemy- https://www.campusreform.org/

[CarnageParticipant 22113]

Beware of people cumpliments, they are all fakes and fame dont last.

But people will always remember your failures, is just one little slip and before you know it yoy are down and there seems to be no way to be redeemed.

However, you must remember they do it to save their own egos, people try to put other like worst than them in their heads, that way they can feel better.

“Im a failure, but X is even worst soo im ok”

To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.

[Anonymous 5]

You’ve been caricatured or typecast. It’s standard human nature. It makes it easier for people to fit you into their group and group think. It’s not that they don’t like you, they probably do. Nevertheless, it can be extremely annoying and the effect can be cumulative, resulting in an explosive reaction that will be seen as being overly sensitive and bizarre.

Every book and movie ever made does the same with every character. Again, it’s human nature. We all do it.
You could do 100 amazing things in a row but if you do one small action that fits in with theory, that’ll be the action that proves they’re right in assessing you. It’s cognitive dissonance at it’s very best.
You can either accept their projection and perhaps exploit it with Machiavellian cunning, or you can put up with it till you move. Don’t try to change their perception, it’s pointless, you won’t succeed.

We all used to do exactly the same when judging women. We ignored every piece of s~~~ty behavior all around us, all our lives and only noticed the odd act of care and kindness. Nothing could convince us they weren’t angels (with a few bad exceptions) after a lifetime of indoctrination from the cradle.

All modern western fathers are characterized as idiots because of Homer Simpson, Ray Romano, King of Queens etc. It doesn’t matter how many times you fix your family’s problems or provide for their needs or rescue them from their own stupidity, their brainwashed mindset will always put you back on default idiocy.

Warning: If people stay in any situation long enough after being typecast, they start believing it themselves. It’s the logic your mind uses to cope.

[BlackValeParticipant 79]

TaxGuy wrote:

One tip: just remember that when you’re worried about it they are trying to figure out what to have for dinner. It takes up WAY more space in your head than it does in there’s. Not to sound like an asshole, but you’re not THAT important. At least not to them.
To put it nicer, don’t worry brother, you’re fine.

Lol didn’t sound like an asshole to me brother. What you said made sense. I used this be really self conscious whenever I walked around people but then I remembered that there are others who are even more self conscious than I am and some can’t even stand being around others. I remembered that and I’m a lot less self conscious and try to help others when they seem so or being up that they are. So I’ll be remembering what you said from now on and start repeating it to myself.

PS: Thank god im not that important I couldn’t stand it.

[BlackValeParticipant 79]

Carnage wrote:

Beware of people cumpliments, they are all fakes and fame dont last.
But people will always remember your failures, is just one little slip and before you know it yoy are down and there seems to be no way to be redeemed.
However, you must remember they do it to save their own egos, people try to put other like worst than them in their heads, that way they can feel better.
“Im a failure, but X is even worst soo im ok”

I don’t like compliments unless it’s feedback on what I am doing when I am training and even then it feels like someone is trying to control me so I mostly ignore them. But good point I have a coworker who obviously does that but he hasn’t successfully been able to do that with me. I distance myself from him though.

[BlackValeParticipant 79]

Anonymous wrote:

You’ve been caricatured or typecast. It’s standard human nature. It makes it easier for people to fit you into their group and group think. It’s not that they don’t like you, they probably do. Nevertheless, it can be extremely annoying and the effect can be cumulative, resulting in an explosive reaction that will be seen as being overly sensitive and bizarre.
Every book and movie ever made does the same with every character. Again, it’s human nature. We all do it.You could do 100 amazing things in a row but if you do one small action that fits in with theory, that’ll be the action that proves they’re right in assessing you. It’s cognitive dissonance at it’s very best.You can either accept their projection and perhaps exploit it with Machiavellian cunning, or you can put up with it till you move. Don’t try to change their perception, it’s pointless, you won’t succeed.
We all used to do exactly the same when judging women. We ignored every piece of s~~~ty behavior all around us, all our lives and only noticed the odd act of care and kindness. Nothing could convince us they weren’t angels (with a few bad exceptions) after a lifetime of indoctrination from the cradle.
All modern western fathers are characterized as idiots because of Homer Simpson, Ray Romano, King of Queens etc. It doesn’t matter how many times you fix your family’s problems or provide for their needs or rescue them from their own stupidity, their brainwashed mindset will always put you back on default idiocy.
Warning: If people stay in any situation long enough after being typecast, they start believing it themselves. It’s the logic your mind uses to cope.

That’s an excellent explaination and rides on the theory that the human mind likes what is familiar and shuns what is foreign. I believe I will follow both of your suggestions though. I would rather exploit any system within reason as long as I am in it.

And what your saying about me believing the constant type cast is interesting and is more than likely true. This would explain the insecurity that I still have from my abusive childhood. Do you have any suggestions as far as dealing with believing a typecast?

[BlackValeParticipant 79]

Christopher wrote:

Yes if needs be do not associate with them. Watch more MGTOW videos for confidence – Big John videos are a good start. See link below. (With thanks to Gargamel for backing up many MGTOW channels).

Thanks for the recommendation (thanks to you as well Gargamel). Do you know of others I should listen to for confidence building?

[bladeParticipant]

They like you and are gravitating towards you . Something to look with in recognise things in a more positive manner . Skills on human interaction come with age , the older you get the less f~~~s to give .

Carry on as you are .NFG TURNED ON FULL .

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[BlackValeParticipant 79]

blade wrote:

They like you and are gravitating towards you . Something to look with in recognise things in a more positive manner . Skills on human interaction come with age , the older you get the less f~~~s to give .
Carry on as you are .NFG TURNED ON FULL .

That could be the case, but I don’t like some of them lol. But I do need to practice my NFG mentality.

[Author]

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