Brothers…..
TLDR….Women bad make me bad MGTOW good make me good.
I’m new here. Brand new. and I absolutely love it.
My Story…….. I was a white knight for most of my life. I’m talking Lilly f~~~ing white. A glowing albino of misdirected chivalrous energy. As if I was preparing myself for saint hood or something. Always going out of my way to show every woman I’m virtuous, willing, able, dependable…..a man of IMPECCABLE moral character. Rock solid.
Need help moving?…anything for you sugar. I’ve got a big truck.
Short on cash for some reason or another?…here ya go I’ve got an extra 100 bucks.
Scare away some ex or creep?…Love to. My specialty.
Id offer my services to strangers. Young, old, anyone that I could….Of course socially I scored zero points with this lifestyle. I felt good tho. Like I was doing right. The select few that mercy laid me or feigned a monogamous relationship monkey branched my ass at the first possible opportunity. Every Goddamned one of those broads used me for an door mat in hindsight. Out of necessity, I would shag a post-waller or a gutter slut fresh from the dregs at bar close every other month or so but the choice women were consistently unresponsive to my advances and I remained unhappily single.
I kept this head-banging, degenerate behavior up into my late 20s. I had faith the right girl would find ME! This is obviously not how it works. Well one day someone found me. I rue that god forsaken day. And ironically I’m blessed for it and eternally grateful it came. Turns out, she was a stone cold pit demon. If the devil is the father of all lies this was HIS mother. My pure and giving soul must have been irresistible to her….. white f~~~ing gold. This girl was different for me. Those other pretty gals used me and I knew it. I finally felt appreciated. This one was hotter than some and real party in the sack. She was in Law school and came from a wealthier family. All qualities that were appealing at the time. We dated for 6 months and married within a year of knowing each other.
I spent 3k on a ring. Lots of money for a brick mason. She bought my ring at a pawn shop. Why she told me this I do not know. It was Cheap tacky junk s~~~. I’ve never owned ANY jewelry before & I didn’t mind the low quality hardware. Love was the most important thing. I was a family man now. A child soon followed. A son.
She spoke of staying home with our son while pregnant. “The first years are the formative years and the child should be raised by his mother, not by strangers in day care”. “I should quit my job”. Sound logic to me. I happily agreed.
All the while she had her night classes 2-3 times a week. Still working towards a law degree. I happily handed her every check, cash and financial scraps people paid me. She was in complete control of the finances. We never fought. The house was clean. The boy was healthy. Everything was humming right along. My American dream.
One day I asked if she gets report cards in college like I did when I went to school. She said no its all electronic now. Ok, I thought. Well how are your grades? We never really talked about it much. They’re OK she said. She said studied in the daytime while I’m at work so she could spend time with me. After a bit of persistence on my end she produced a piece of paper from 8 months ago that showed she failed every single class from her second semester. Not a single passing grade. This is my first red pill moment(It was a little pill compared to what would come later). The whole thing was a ruse. The money I spent on her books and tuition was very real. Who The F~~~ is so stupid to think tuition is paid in cash. I was. She eventually admitted her grades were so poor they would not accept her for a third semester.
Her attitude became quite pompous and resentful. As if it was my fault for impregnating her and the child took away from her study time. My Fault she lied about where she has been going instead of school. Wait…..”Where WERE you going instead of school”? Never a straight answer. Never one. Family and friends took up the slack for her where a bouts. They all knew. This went on for months. I was hoodwinked. A chump.
Only the brightest white knight could possibly forgive this transgression. But I was a family man. Id never abandon my son. Soon I withdrew from having any dealings with her and her family. I left but I was still there. Soon I was couch bound at night sleeping with the dog. Living with a disconnected stranger in a house full of s~~~ I kept buying. Nice Cars, Clothes, furniture, computers and all the household bills were squarely on my shoulders. We were making it. Never really sweated a bill. We even had extra money for a pizza once a month or so. & The boy Had a mountain of everything plastic that china ever made. She had several pair of warm&fuzzy pajamas and many bath robes. Her daily attire.
She soon became bored of her pathetic and lethargic lifestyle and wanted to get a job just to get out of the house. Extra money would be nice. The boy was enrolled in preschool and she began working in a downtown high rise for the federal government. The buying of fancy dress up clothes was now in order. My pleasure. I want my wife to look good. Im a good man. (I should have been hung)
Six months later I almost was. We were watching the Lakers game. Her phone rang. A woman’s name but a mans voice. I took the phone and broke it in half. She went ballistic. Left the house. I went to bed. Six squad cars returned. The door was kicked in. Cops dressed up like the bad guys off GI Joe came in with machine guns. I was arrested on kidnapping and domestic violence charges. Vile charges that were later dismissed. She had fabricated a series of events claiming a long history of abuse, and mental problems on my part. And that I was Fleeing the city with the boy never to return.
I spent 4 short days in jail with many other good men telling me what’s coming next from the corrupted legal system. That I’d get off easy if I plea. First time offender. Lawyer says the same thing. I plea. Charges dismissed upon completing Classes. Probation. Restraining order. Supervised visits with my son. Fines. Child support. A duffel bag of belongings and no access to my home. A month Living on friends couches and eventually resettling with my aging parents 2 hours away.
That’s who I was. Who I used to be. That’s what happened and I f~~~ing deserved worse for letting her get away with what I did. That was 6 yrs ago. Seems like 6 thousand. I’ve severed contact with anyone involved in the situation. Disgusting people our mutual friends turned out to be.
I trained my brain and body constantly to keep my soul strong and my mind off things. I read History, politics & the classics. I got sharp, keen and Business flourished. My white knight integrity was always a benefit in business. Go Figure. Contacts were happy to have me back. New opportunities presented themselves because I had demonstrated reliable character.
Socially I turned into an animal. I took ZERO s~~~ from anyone for any reason. I looked to start ruckus in bars to embarrass manginas and claim their women for the night or week or month. What ever I chose. They loved it. Begged for my company. I was a mad dog. Pussy fell from the sky. Whiskey flowed like water. I made it a point to sleep with the friends of the women I was sleeping with. Their cousins, neighbors, co-workers. If a post-waller gave me the bedroom eyes Id only make her the evening treat in order to find out if she had legal age daughters, nieces or whatever I could sleep with. I was a thermo nuclear F~~~ machine. This lasted for a good 5 years.
Actually It just stopped. Like a week ago. I simply grew tired of it. Of dealing with women. They’re played out. I have nothing left to prove to myself. The scars on my heart were washed clean by orgasms of bleach blondes with breast implants that could never pin me down for so much as a goddamned straight answer or a single kind word.
I just turned 38….my boy is 10. He is amazing. Brilliant. Growing up well because I spend considerable time with him. We fish, trap, talk straight to eachother and cook healthy food together….for two
Things are ideal now. I’ve decided to stop with women while I’m ahead.
The world is a beautiful place. I have been consumed with dogging out hoes for far too long. I’m going monk mode for 6 months to clear my mind and allow new ideas to flourish.
Fraternally yours, JKZ
* In honor of RJ, CC, and all my brothers who talked harsh truth to me when I needed it the most. Ill pay it forward god willing
Killmandrill 3 years, 9 months ago.
