Where have all the husbands gone?

[MATRIXParticipant 2339]

What gives? Why are men here and abroad avoiding the altar in spades?

1. Because they can: Men used to marry to have sex and a family. They married for love, too, but they had to marry the girl before taking her to bed, or at least work really, really hard to wear her down. Those days are gone.

When more women make themselves sexually available, the pool of marriageable men diminishes. “In a world where women do not say no, the man is never forced to settle down and make serious choices,” writes George Gilder, author of “Men and Marriage.”

Scoff if you wish. Call me a fuddy-duddy. But how’s that new plan working out?

2. Because there’s nothing in it for them: What exactly does marriage offer men today? “Men know there’s a good chance they’ll lose their friends, their respect, their space, their sex life, their money and — if it all goes wrong — their family,” says Helen Smith, Ph.D., author of “Men on Strike.” “They don’t want to enter into a legal contract with someone who could effectively take half their savings, pension and property when the honeymoon period is over.Men aren’t wimping out by staying unmarried or being commitment phobes. They’re being smart.”

Unlike women, men lose all power after they say “I do.” Their masculinity dies, too.

What’s left of it, that is. In the span of just a few decades, America has demoted men from respected providers and protectors of the family to superfluous buffoons. Today’s sitcoms and commercials routinely paint a portrait of the idiot husband whose wife is smarter and more capable than he.

There was a time when wives respected their husbands. There was a time when wives took care of their husbands as they expected their husbands to take care of them.

Or perhaps therein lies the rub. If women no longer expect or even want men to “take care of” them — since women can do everything men can do and better, thank you very much, feminism — perhaps the flipside is the assumption that women don’t need to take care of husbands, either. And if no one’s taking care of anyone, why the hell marry?

For women, the reason is obvious: kids. Eventually most women decide they want children, no matter how long they put it off to focus on their careers. So they often nab the best guy they can find, usually the one with whom they’re currently sleeping, and convince him to get married.

If the man refuses, we call him, as Smith notes, a “commitment phobe.” But is that fair? Perhaps these men know all too well that women initiate the vast majority of divorces — anywhere from 65-90 percent, depending on demographics. And when they do, they take the kids with them and hang hubby out to dry with the help of a court system that’s heavily stacked in their favor. In the past, Mom got the kids because she was home with them doing the thankless, unpaid, mountainous work associated with that role. Today, neither parent is home, so there’s no reason the default custodial parent should be Mom.

So remind me, why would a man marry today?

No, really. What’s in it for him?

http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/why-men-wont-marry-you.amp

There is NO wisdom in signing a contract with someone who benefits from breaking it.

[Branched offParticipant 10920]

The best you can hope to be is a lovable useless unthanked and actually unneeded buffoon like Hank Hill or Homer Simpson.

The worst is so much worse.

Just say no.

A woman is like fire -fun to play with, can warm you through and cook your food, needs constant feeding, can burn you and consume all you own

[Sky-OParticipant 18933]

MATRIX wrote:

There was a time when wives took care of their husbands as they expected their husbands to take care of them.

During a time when that was possible, men wanted to take care of the woman they were with.

And there are still plenty of blue pill men that want to take care of a woman.

But they cannot afford to take care of a woman. A decent job and a good paycheck in the United States now is just enough to survive at this point and take care of one person.

Leaving hordes of average blue pill guys that are not in the top 8-12% of earners and net worth with having to face the reality that despite their blue pill aspirations: they cannot afford to take care of a woman.

Combined with the fact that women are increasingly earning more money than men. In addition to obtaining college degrees at greater levels and living their lives in the absence of actually needing a man to take care of them. Now that doesn’t mean that they do not want money from men: They are still hypergamous. But they do not seek men to “take care” of them. They prefer men that have money so that they can benefit from that money, while a woman still works and her money is HER money. But when aligned with a man in a relationship or marriage: his money is THEIR money.

It is the best of both worlds for self absorbed, narcissistic, hypergamous women (AWALT) – They work, control and horde all of their own money but the man they are with is required to support, subsidize and maintain the relationship financially.

All while a woman is still able to keep all of her options open for a better deal while also engaging in infidelity whenever possible.

[CPT ObviousParticipant 2725]

Sky-O wrote:

They work, control and horde all of their own money but the man they are with is required to support, subsidize and maintain the relationship financially.

I would replace “horde” with spend.

Your comment may sound extreme to some but that is exactly what happened with my second wife. If you subtracted my alimony we made roughly the same amount. I thought we would share expenses… even basic stuff like cost of food.

However, what was mine was hers and what was hers was hers. We had a “joint” account which had only my paycheck being deposited — hers went to an individual account. But all the bills were paid out of my account including things like her car payment and insurance.

Her money was to do and buy whatever she wanted with. And if she ran out of cash, she would withdraw from joint account. I was constantly draining my savings to prevent acct going into overdraft. Then she even had the b@lls to ask to be put as joint on my savings (this was money left from my first divorce liquidation of all my assets).

I guess it was moot point because in the end she spent it all anyway and then proceeded to run up my credit card.

Fvcking plague of locusts.

"You don't know a woman till you have met her in divorce court."

[Faust For ScienceParticipant 22520]

Branched off wrote:

The best you can hope to be is a lovable useless unthanked and actually unneeded buffoon like Hank Hill or Homer Simpson.

There is some truth to that.

I always figured if something went wrong for Hank Hill, he would become sober and he would become someone like Claude “Torch” Weaver from Black Lagoon, embracing his first love, Propane. A love that will burn bright and leave a mountain of ash. LOL!!

[Secret Agent MGTOWParticipant 22502]

MATRIX wrote:

What gives? Why are men here and abroad avoiding the altar in spades?
1. Because they can: Men used to marry to have sex and a family. They married for love, too, but they had to marry the girl before taking her to bed, or at least work really, really hard to wear her down. Those days are gone.
When more women make themselves sexually available, the pool of marriageable men diminishes. “In a world where women do not say no, the man is never forced to settle down and make serious choices,” writes George Gilder, author of “Men and Marriage.”
Scoff if you wish. Call me a fuddy-duddy. But how’s that new plan working out?
2. Because there’s nothing in it for them: What exactly does marriage offer men today? “Men know there’s a good chance they’ll lose their friends, their respect, their space, their sex life, their money and — if it all goes wrong — their family,” says Helen Smith, Ph.D., author of “Men on Strike.” “They don’t want to enter into a legal contract with someone who could effectively take half their savings, pension and property when the honeymoon period is over.Men aren’t wimping out by staying unmarried or being commitment phobes. They’re being smart.”
Unlike women, men lose all power after they say “I do.” Their masculinity dies, too.
What’s left of it, that is. In the span of just a few decades, America has demoted men from respected providers and protectors of the family to superfluous buffoons. Today’s sitcoms and commercials routinely paint a portrait of the idiot husband whose wife is smarter and more capable than he.
There was a time when wives respected their husbands. There was a time when wives took care of their husbands as they expected their husbands to take care of them.
Or perhaps therein lies the rub. If women no longer expect or even want men to “take care of” them — since women can do everything men can do and better, thank you very much, feminism — perhaps the flipside is the assumption that women don’t need to take care of husbands, either. And if no one’s taking care of anyone, why the hell marry?
For women, the reason is obvious: kids. Eventually most women decide they want children, no matter how long they put it off to focus on their careers. So they often nab the best guy they can find, usually the one with whom they’re currently sleeping, and convince him to get married.
If the man refuses, we call him, as Smith notes, a “commitment phobe.” But is that fair? Perhaps these men know all too well that women initiate the vast majority of divorces — anywhere from 65-90 percent, depending on demographics. And when they do, they take the kids with them and hang hubby out to dry with the help of a court system that’s heavily stacked in their favor. In the past, Mom got the kids because she was home with them doing the thankless, unpaid, mountainous work associated with that role. Today, neither parent is home, so there’s no reason the default custodial parent should be Mom.
So remind me, why would a man marry today?
No, really. What’s in it for him?
http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/why-men-wont-marry-you.amp

I watch Barter Kings, there’s always one guy getting rid of his stuff because “his wife told him to”. Can’t ride his bike anymore. Had to dismantle his “man cave”. Has to give up his hobby because wife wants him around more. Fuch that noise.

Even the Barter King guys are cuckolded, they gave up bikes and stuff. One of the guys swaps stuff to get a food truck for his wife, for free, she isn’t that grateful and does the classic holding back of things he likes until he gets the truck. Screw that.

Women want everything, but want responsibility and accountability for nothing.

[SpiderHerderParticipant 3753]

Secret Agent MGTOW wrote:

I watch Barter Kings, there’s always one guy getting rid of his stuff because “his wife told him to”. Can’t ride his bike anymore. Had to dismantle his “man cave”. Has to give up his hobby because wife wants him around more. Fuch that noise.
Even the Barter King guys are cuckolded, they gave up bikes and stuff. One of the guys swaps stuff to get a food truck for his wife, for free, she isn’t that grateful and does the classic holding back of things he likes until he gets the truck. Screw that.

Wow. I have no idea why guys put up with that kind of behaviour.

I’m not saying I never would have done that if I would have met the right girl equipped with enough manipulating abilities to place me in an unescapable haze of confusion, but this is ridiculous.

First girl I was ever in love with (didn’t really like that feeling, was out of control, couldn’t think straight) told me to turn off the high beams on the car while driving around because they were making her nauseated (they were blueish xenon bulbs). I didn’t say anything but I glanced at her with a big frown.

So glad she monkey-branched to someone else. LOL

Again, I have my highly analytical brain to thank for saving my ass once more.

[CPT ObviousParticipant 2725]

SpiderHerder wrote:

Wow. I have no idea why guys put up with that kind of behaviour.

A newly married man is outside washing his boat, getting ready to go on fishing trip with his buddies.

His new bride comes out and says, “Honey, I’ve been thinking. Since we are married now, you should sell your boat so we can spend more time together. We can use the money to buy new window treatments.”

The husband thought about that for a moment then replied, “Wow. For a minute there you sounded like my ex-wife.”

“EX WIFE!” She exclaimed. “You never told me you were married previously!”

The husband looked his wife in the eyes and said, “I wasn’t.”

"You don't know a woman till you have met her in divorce court."

[SpiderHerderParticipant 3753]

^ That’s pretty funny.

But unfortunately not the way blue pill men usually react.

[TwistParticipant]

MATRIX wrote:

Today’s sitcoms and commercials routinely paint a portrait of the idiot husband whose wife [

and her Children

] is smarter and more capable than he.

Yep – not only is the mental child elevated over the husband, but the children are elevated over the father.

Who wants a nice juicy bite of that s~~~ sandwich?

Yummy

[hmskl’dParticipant 6405]

MATRIX wrote:

So remind me, why would a man marry today?

No, really. What’s in it for him?

Exactly, the question I have occasionally pondered for a decade.
Firstly, I don’t want kids in my world .. I don’t want to pass my own traits to anyone.
Secondly, I don’t want the hassle fo family life .. even if it was offered on a platter with pay.
… I just don’t want anything it entails, call me lazy .. call me selfish .. call me prudent. I don’t care.

So what do I want .. freedom, possibly sell everything for a nice “slightly used” sailboat .. I’ve been looking at a Beneteau 43
a totally different life path .. no ball and chain, no millstones, and therefore no gnashing of teeth

someday, if it all works out .. maybe I’ll sail to Azores and then Portugal
I’ll sit at an outdoor cafe and contemplate life .. dwell upon freedom
and instead of trying to please a wife and endure married life ..

I’ll worry about how long the ice will last .. in my glass
……. Cheers

[MonkParticipant 16975]

Twist wrote:

… not only is the mental child elevated over the husband, but the children are elevated over the father. Who wants a nice juicy bite of that s~~~ sandwich?

That’s it. The whole deal summed up.

And don’t forget – even the child can now make THE ONE PHONE CALL.

[MonkParticipant 16975]

Secret Agent MGTOW wrote:

I watch Barter Kings, there’s always one guy getting rid of his stuff because “his wife told him to”. Can’t ride his bike anymore. Had to dismantle his “man cave”. Has to give up his hobby because wife wants him around more.

When I rode motorcycles, I used to scan the small ads regularly. Even back then (we are talking late 1970’s and early 1980’s), it struck me how often the ad said ‘Must sell, GF wants car/house/mortgage’ etc.

A fellow I used to work with around then was also into bikes. He had a GF and travelled all over Europe with her on the bike. She never raised any objection.

As soon as they got married she told him that she hated bikes and always had. She made him sell it.

[Secret Agent MGTOWParticipant 22502]

Monk wrote:

Secret Agent MGTOW wrote:

I watch Barter Kings, there’s always one guy getting rid of his stuff because “his wife told him to”. Can’t ride his bike anymore. Had to dismantle his “man cave”. Has to give up his hobby because wife wants him around more.

When I rode motorcycles, I used to scan the small ads regularly. Even back then (we are talking late 1970’s and early 1980’s), it struck me how often the ad said ‘Must sell, GF wants car/house/mortgage’ etc.
A fellow I used to work with around then was also into bikes. He had a GF and travelled all over Europe with her on the bike. She never raised any objection.
As soon as they got married she told him that she hated bikes and always had. She made him sell it.

Should sue her ass for fraud/misrepresentation. “Open and honest” my ass.

Women want everything, but want responsibility and accountability for nothing.

[GrumpyParticipant]

Pffft
Most husbands are “ex’s”, that’s where they’ve gone.
Some are still “husbands” in name and law only, hardly in actual practical purpose or definition.
“Potential” husbanks are catching on and are un-assing the AO, didi mau.
Men are actively vocalizing what they have given up, both forced and voluntarily over their lifetimes due to demanding women (wives/GF/fwb/mothers/daughters).
I gave up everything I enjoyed doing aside from working to them.
Motorcycles, Auto’s, hunting/fishing/camping, electronics, mountain climbing, singing, dancing, art, firearms, building stuff. Basically everything went on hold until the final divorce, and my daughter grew up and moved out.
For the last 3 years it’s been about me living and enjoying MY frikking life, time, and money.
I just bought my “cabin” in the woods and am now finally making a dream I’ve had since I was 15 years old come true.
Alone in a log home, secluded with only me, my dog, firearms (etc), and nobody around for miles.
Yet the females in my family still try to give me grief about depriving someone/anyone of my assets.
FUKEM

There was a time in my life when I gave a fuck. Now you have to pay ME for it

[Author]

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