Why the f~~~ she won't let me go?

[EfiParticipant 39]

This is not just my personal problem I guess, but does anybody know why my ex does not understand the meaning of the word ‘NO’?
Yesterday a cool story happend. I am going my own way for like month and a half, so I am new in this, but…
My last ex was like crazy in love with me, but I decided to not stay with her. She was hysteric, acting like a total madman. Now, I thought everything is ok, but she sent me a message. Again! In short: ‘I am going to a Con in your city. Wanna hang out and have some beer with me?’…
Oh, brothers. Sure she was going to cosplay as Daenerys from GoT series which I don’t like, but I find her character kinda hot.
So, I answered her that there is absolutely no chance of me getting close to her. She – as usually – started to complain about why I can’t let it go and just have a beer as friends.
Girl, I ain’t stupid.
Travelling more than 200 kilometers specifically to my city dressed in a cosplay of a character that I love and inviting me for a beer which I love to act like she’s my friend?
What the f~~~? Doe’s she think I am dumb?
I shared my opinion with her ans she was like ‘But I’ll contact you later if you changed your mind. If you have problem with that, block me everywhere.’
20 seconds later she was blocked everywhere by me.
I mean… what is her problem? Really, if she knows that I do not want to hang out with her, why would she try to convince me to do so? What would she expect? Sitting in front of me and watching me having a worst time of my life?
Anybode got the same experience?

[Anonymous 13]

If you dumped her, she has to set it back up so she can dump you instead.

Their narcissistic ego can’t handle being the dumpee.

Also, she could try revenge and put you in a position where she makes one phone call.

911,

You know the rest.

[Anonymous 6]

Listen she was looking for some attention and an “in” with you. A way to keep you on the fringes in case she needs someone to fall back on. She figures that since y’all have a history together that she’s got a fairly good chance to rekindle something when she wants to. So she dresses in some outfit to pique your interest but only wants to be “friends” i.e. she wants a beta orbiter. This was predatory behavior on her part. Just stay firm. She used to dangling the conch in front of men and getting them to hang around her so that she can manipulate them. Women never understand it when me reject oh so special them. It doesn’t compute. And when it finally sinks in. well that’s when the theatrics can happen.

[OldBillParticipant]

Efi wrote:

Now, I thought everything is ok, but she sent me a message.

I can explain your failure in two words: Radio Silence.

Why won’t she let you go? Because she can still contact you, that’s why.

Why haven’t you blocked all her numbers? Why can she still find you on social media? Why do you still answer her texts and phone calls?

If you want her to let you go, you have to let her go.

Impose radio silence. Never respond to any attempted contact she makes.

Do not date. Do not impregnate. Do not co-habitate. Above all, do not marry. Reclaim and never again surrender your personal sovereignty.

[narwhalParticipant]

Yes, she is definitely trying to rearrange this where it comes off as she’s been the more mature adult here.

What? You’re not mature enough to be friends with an ex?
What? You can’t handle conversation, have to block me?

She wins either way, she convinces herself and friends that you’re the problem not her. Or, she gets a chance to try and guilt you into being with her again.

You made the right choice. The last time I agreed to meet an ex for a drink, just as friends, she neglected to tell me that her Dad was there as well. Dad was totally acting like we were a couple or something. When Dad left a moment for a smoke, that’s when she leaned over and told me “You really don’t find me attractive anymore?”. I should have left before that.

Ok. Then do it.

[ghostParticipant]

Anonymous wrote:

If you dumped her, she has to set it back up so she can dump you instead.

Their narcissistic ego can’t handle being the dumpee.

Also, she could try revenge and put you in a position where she makes one phone call.

911,

You know the rest.

This exact sequence has happened to me. Matrix is 100% on point.

[XSDBSParticipant 3598]

OldBill wrote:

Why won’t she let you go? Because she can still contact you, that’s why.

You can’t stop her from contacting you (without a court order), but you can stop responding to any contact…

ZERO contact, ZERO response, she will eventually move on to her next target…

[TaxGuyParticipant]

Let me take the high road for a minute. Maybe she’s still in love with you and wants you back. Maybe she thinks that if you see her in person you might change your mind. Maybe she has 100% good intentions.

But here’s the thing. Whether her intentions are good or not, if you aren’t interested in her then your response is still no. It’s not about what she wants, it’s about what you want. Likely you will never know her true intention. But it doesn’t matter. If you have no interest in her, just say no and save yourself the mental gymnastics of trying to figure out her motive.

Order the good wine

[BigvernParticipant 1983]

Get a new phone number

"What made you think, there'd be a livin' in sheep?, Eat, Work, Eat Work and Sleep" - Mark Knopfler.

[FrostByteParticipant 19005]

Efi wrote:

This is not just my personal problem I guess, but does anybody know why my ex does not understand the meaning of the word ‘NO’?

What are you doing that keeps it going?

Efi wrote:

So, I answered her that there is absolutely no chance of me getting close to her. She – as usually – started to complain about why I can’t let it go and just have a beer as friends.

This is what you’re doing. It doesn’t matter what you say, or how loud you scream it, if are hurling obscenities at her in your meanest voice YOU ARE STILL COMMUNICATING.

This meme is what she hears when you answer her.

If you rescue a damsel in distress, all you will get is a distressed damsel.

[joetechParticipant]

You answered her text. That was your first mistake. If letting go of her is so hard for you then block her and delete her from your contacts. It’s very effective and easy to do. I prefer to keep my ex unblocked. Why? So that when she texts me (like she did today) I can ignore her and she knows that the text went through. She also knows she’s being ignored. I think it sends a strong message. If she starts texting too much, I will block her. With 2500 miles of geography between us, that I put there myself, what can she do? Nothing, that’s what. Your ex is the woman you broke up with for your own sanity and well being. Quit putting darts into your eyes and ears.

"Don't follow in my footsteps...I stepped in something."

[Anonymous 12]

GYOW is not easy, especially if you expect the ex to act rationally.

Good Work keeping your guard up – dodge these bullets!

[ConfuciusParticipant 183]

Anonymous wrote:

especially if you expect the ex to act rationally.

This sentence makes no sense.

"Life is really simple, but men insist on making it complicated."

[Anonymous 12]

it does…
if you live your life and all is fine, and you are a rational man who knows why you dumped her…
And you told her why she is being dumped…
Then all is clear.
No need for her to ever get in contact again.
rationale.

But being dumped is not easily accepted by a being that runs on emotions, and whose game is manipulation.
Emotions fuel her desire to start games…

so:
for a Rational MGHOW, it is not easy to deal with a scheming, manipulative, emotion-based ex.
It can lead to quite a few “WTF” moments.

[Secret Agent MGTOWParticipant 22510]

Exactly.

Sam Kinison explained that so well back in the late 80s/90s. He had screwed up bad with his girlfriend and told her, said he totally understood if she wanted to leave him. But she begged him not to leave her, and said he couldn’t hear the part where she said “because I haven’t gotten you back yet.”

About 8 months later he was leaving for a tour and she had packed his bags for the airport and hid a loaded revolver in there.

Women want everything, but want responsibility and accountability for nothing.

[Anonymous 12]

Oah that bitch… and he got Jail time.

Once again…
No woman… no cry.

[ConfuciusParticipant 183]

Anonymous wrote:

it does…

I never expect women to act rationally. Why would anyone?

"Life is really simple, but men insist on making it complicated."

[KolaxisParticipant 668]

Cut her out of your life, leave the toxic heap in a ditch, and nuke it from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

Jackie: How do you write women so well?
Melvin Udall: I think of a man and I take away reason and accountability.

[Anonymous 43]

[sidecarParticipant 35837]

Tell her you have to work.

No matter what she suggests, you have to work.

Or fail to remember her:

: “Hey baby. You wanna hang our this weekend?”
: “I’m sorry, but who is this? I think you have the wrong number.”

[Author]

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