What's your RETIREMENT PLAN?

[hmskl’dParticipant 6406]

I’m selling about everything .. and then buying scratch off Lotto tickets.

[Prophet MicahParticipant 1972]

My “retirement plan” is my SHTF-Preparations.
Gold, silver, food & water storage, firearms, ammunition.

Zoidberg wrote:

“What’s your RETIREMENT PLAN?”
Dying.

Such a Zoidberg…

No Wife - No Strife

[HermitParticipant]

I’m enjoying my “retirement” now while I’m still young enough to do so and still working so I can afford it. I buy cigars that cost too much and booze that costs too much and steaks that cost too much and a s~~~load of ammunition that costs too much. I won’t be able to afford all this if I actually make it to retirement. If I live long enough to a time when I’m old and even poorer than I am now, at least I’ll be able to look back on an enjoyable life.

What if I didn’t have all the fun I’m having now so I could save a bunch of money for when I’m too old to enjoy it, or die before I can spend any of it? F~~~ that. I can live life the way I want right now.

The evil in women’s hearts leaves them no moral bounds as to inhibit them from descending to the lowest levels of darkness to acquire their self entitled desires.

[IRuleMeParticipant]

Anonymous wrote:

lol whats a retirement?

Divorce assrape and low income have almost crushed that notion.

Years of low paying jobs, combined with the fact that there won’t be any money in social security when my “retirement age” comes up means there won’t BE any retirement for me. I don’t plan on living after 50 anyways. I figure I’ll be completely deaf in both my ears by that point. I’ve been completely deaf in one since birth, and the other is already losing frequencies after years of working in loud trades and listening to music. My health is already in decline at 34. I have arthritis, joint, muscle, and nerve pain from years of physical labor, and severe acid reflux. I can’t eat most foods. My vision is getting worse (my current prescription would blow your mind). I won’t be sticking around on this planet after 50. Plan to cash in my chips and leave this world. I’ve done enough that I can die happy, esp given that I was a miracle baby to begin with.

[CarnageParticipant 22113]

Hummm.

I lost a lot of time and money in marriage.

I make 30-35k€ year in Spain as a doctor, After two years single im up to 20k savings. Plus my SHTF fund.

Crappy car, stay away from nurses and female doctors who are in their mid 30, and want to secure some loser.

I want to move to Ireland or uk or Australia, or any place where I can make a six figure income, but I’m still stuck here becouse my specialty is not needed too much.

Anyway I’m retiring at 50 in some small house up in the mountains in the Caribbean, a dog, few chickens and goat, basic gardening, 1976 Land Cruiser jeep, a good rifle, a s~~~ load of ammo and just wait around to die in peace and quiet.

To those following me, be careful, I just farted. Men those beans are killers.

[RomulusParticipant 4667]

My retirement plan is/was simple. I’m a turtle.

I paid myself a small amount every paycheck. Put it in a broad index fund that mirrors the Russell 1000 index. Did that for 31 years now.

Never really missed the money I put in there too much because out of any check it didn’t amount to much. Sometimes when I was young that was 50 bucks a pay check. I could spend that amount on a weekend between beer and eats. Or the cost of a date (As little as I don’t know about investing, I know that women are not a good investment.) Sometimes if I got a raise I upped the amount I put in the account by half my raise. Never missed it really.

But over 30 years it amounted to a decent bit. That’s because of compounding.

If you are young, the one thing you have that others don’t, even if you don’t have a lot of money, is a time span…….where small gains compound over time. Pay yourself first, a little amount, you are worth it.

I’m not a home run hitter. I slap out singles.

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.

[StealthParticipant 5330]

Anonymous wrote:

About me:
> 19, delivery driver, own cheap car, live at home.
> Minimalist, studying Computer Science at a good University.

My current plan:
> Deposit $5k AUD + all extra cash into 2.5% savings account.
> Finish Uni and get a decent paying job (e.g. $60k).

Assuming I can keep expenses to $25k a year then I’ll have $15,356 to save as the government steals about $15k in taxes + superannuation. If I made $60k until I was 40 then I’d have saved about $550k, having paid $500k in tax.

Obviously I plan to make well above $60k (reason I chose STEM), but the maths is complete bulls~~~. The government literally steals half a million dollars from me (most of it for parasites on the dull). I don’t see any way the average man could retire like this at a relatively young age.

Any ideas? I don’t want to be an average sheeple.

I get the feeling I’m missing something so any advice or insights would be greatly appreciated. Heck, what’s your retirement plan?

I’ve asked the same question of wealthy retired people, and their advice all led to the Vanguard style of investing which is summarized in the book, “The Bogleheads’ Guide to Investing.” I highly recommend this book, even though it is US market centric. The basic idea is what Romulus said–be a turtle. Learn to invest in the stock market and start as early as you can. 19 is perfect.

Stay minimal! Good for you. Create a budget based on your tracked expenses, then save up one year of expenses in a CD and never touch it. And never get divorced (or married)–that has been the largest bad financial investment of my life so far, and without it I would be a retired millionaire today, rather than a recovering divorcée working in a warehouse and eating out of food pantries. I kid you not. The best choice so far has been to run my own business. Taxes are even higher as a business owner, but with seasoning and a good CPA you learn to adjust.

"Once you’ve taken care of the basics, there’s very little in this world for which your life is worth deferring." -David Hansson. "It’s not when women are mean or nasty that anything is out of the ordinary. It’s when they are NICE to you that you have to be on high alert..." -Jackinov.

[narwhalParticipant]

Two thoughts on this.

First, it’s mentally rather easy to upgrade your lifestyle and cost of living once you have the income to support it. It’s is rather difficult to downgrade your lifestyle and cost of living. Therefore, avoid the temptation to use a raise to upgrade your life if at all possible. Save it for when you need it later. As well, it will mean you will need less money when you retire to maintain your current lifestyle.

The other is, traditionally, it’s recommended to put as much money as possible in to a 401k or whatever as pretax retirement savings. The idea is that you will be paying less in taxes with the lower retirement ‘income’ then you would if you pay taxes now. However, considering that we now have rather lower taxes historically speaking, does that still make sense? Even if with a higher income today, it seems like it may be wiser to take it out now since we do not know what taxes will be like in the future.

This is a conversation I’ve recently had with Mom, who is retired. She always talks only the minimum amount that she is required by law, but we are thinking that she should consider taking out more since the tax rate is low. I don’t know how much she has been the more she takes out now, the less potential taxes she has in the future.

Ok. Then do it.

[Anonymous 14]

My retirement plan is to die before the dollar is worth less than two squares of toilet paper, at this rate I won’t know whether to wipe my ass with my money or try to spend it when I am 70.

[BeerParticipant 11832]

1. Don’t get married or have kids. Divorce rape and 18 years+ of child support are financial suicide. I wouldn’t mind having kids if I knew should I split with the mother I got full custody and she had to pay me child support, but since it will work the other way around a huge majority of the time its a no go for me mentally and financially.

2. Get yourself an education or a trade that will lead to a high income, and once you get that high income don’t fall for the trappings of lifestyle inflation. I made six figures last year and still live like I did when I was making 40k paying my way through college. I banked more last year than most people grossed. Its just a basic math problem when you think about it…if you can retire comfortably after 40 years of working and investing 10%…how many years earlier can you retire if you invest 20%? How about if you invest 50%?

3. Put your money to work for you. Personally I throw all my extra money at dividend paying stock and every quarter collect more dividends as I accumulate more shares and companies raise their dividends. I know others have done it with rental properties. The goal should be to have enough passive income to live off(and even have a bit extra to reinvest) without having to liquidate anything to make ends meet.

4. Its a jog, not a sprint. Odds are, you aren’t going to be a crypto millionaire before your 25. Odds are you won’t catch whatever ridiculous bubble pops up next for it to be wildly profitable for you. Odds are you won’t hit it big in penny stocks, or start some business in your parents garage that balloons into a multi million dollar empire. For every person like that, there are 1000 more that lose their shirts. Be reasonable about it, and go plug some numbers into a compounding interest calculator. Starting young, earning a decent income, keeping your living expenses down, maintaining a high savings rate, and compounding interest is a path to success anyone can walk…it just takes time, discipline, patience, and like many guys on here have figures out the hard way, not getting f~~~ed over by women and the courts.

[hollowtipsParticipant 681]

Hoping to owning property and ideally 6 figures of assets in stocks. A bonus would be having a business that makes at least 6 figures, I could retire and just hire a manager for 30-50k and keep getting revenue every year.

[ForeverDoneParticipant 2928]

If all else fails, Smith & Wesson.

[Chris1234Participant 353]

Fellow Aussie. I think about retirement everyday. I stuffed around in my early 20s which was fun but I got serious in my late 20s. Stayed away from women and now almost paid my house off. I’ve also put some money into shares and been stacking and now trying to build up cash as I believe a crash is not too far off, if it does come I’ll buy another investment property and more shares. Planning on being retired (maybe semi) at 45. Even on an average wage it isn’t difficult to set yourself up for early retirement without a partner and kids. Hoping to make around 40k a year from passive income and will try to live for 10 years or so (45-55) in some cheaper countries which will mean I’m still saving some of my passive income.

[Anonymous 2]

Lurch wrote:

Seriously, GTFO of the country if you want a better deal.

I have a British citizenship so I’m considering there or the U.S.
Thanks for the advice, it’s appreciated.

[Won'tGetFooledAgainParticipant 3293]

I am currently 44 but got divorce raped at 40 and lost everything. Since then I have been saving every penny I can, I am as frugal as I can possibly be.

I bought a property last year which I renovated, rented out and makes me a decent amount each month. This is my backup plan, if the worse comes to the worst I can live in it, get a low paid job and easily afford to live.

But my current thing is to be as frugal as possible and stash as much money as I can, I am saving around 50% of my take home pay at the moment. I also don’t really care about having the latest things, this saves me loads of money.

1)Car £1200 eBay cheapie that I don’t care about and does 60MPG.
2)5 Year old laptop, Plays COD Modern Warfare 2 fine, why change it.
3)£150 ZTE mobile on pay as you go contract.

I did spend £700 on a new TV a few months ago but since it is the first TV I have bought since 2003 I thought I would treat myself.

So my plan is to stash every penny I can until I either cannot get a job anymore or just think “F~~~ this I am done”. My child support payments end in 8 years (I will be 52) and that will be where I really start saving.

Worst case I move into the house with a decent 6 figure sum in cash and live as frugally as possible topped up with the government pension. I don’t need much to live, I think I can have a comfortable existance.

For women, everything eventually boils down to Alpha Fucks, Beta Bucks.

[Author]

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