What's the grossest thing that ever happened to you?

[MenckenParticipant 693]

A coyote literally minutes after its been shot. Most predator guys will only skin them immediately or not at all.

Well I brought one back to town and hung it the next day to skin. My hunting partner could not stand to be near it and made me figure it out on my own. After a few occasions of near vomitting, I was halfway done. While trying to figure out the right cuts to make, I accidentally cut the tube going to the dick. Tension released and the weiner slapped me in the face and squirted me with fluid. I screamed like a girl and my friend made gay jokes.

Misogynist - A man who hates women as much as women hate one another.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Anonymous wrote:

What’s the grossest thing that ever happened to you?

OK… full disclosure. I will try and use colorful metaphors.

I was going down on this chick about a thousand years ago. She was bent over the arm railing of the sofa and I was spreading her cheeks and digging my face in there like my life depended on it.

I thought she was about to cum, and she started saying “No… no… NO… NO….. NO!!!!!”

And BBBBFFFFAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

This f~~~ing huge tuba fart exploded in my face.
John Phillip Tuba.

—

I shot back so fast and hard like it threw me against the other wall. She was absolutely mortified. Collected her things and ran out. I never saw her again. After about 5 minutes…. I could NOT stop laughing.

THERE’S JIMMY HOFFA!!!

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Anonymous 42]

Rear door entry cums with explicit hazards! There’s no flashing light or beep-beep-beep like any self respecting dump truck.

I used to LOVE eating pussy, couldn’t get enough of the stuff!

After miss Leave and cum back diseased; I see entering them no different than entering Fukushima unit 3.

LMBO!

I’m sure MUCH MUCH MUCH worse has happened to men down there around sewer gate!

I never stuck anything in a woman ass, not even my pinky! My luck I’ll cut the mooring rope to a brown submarine!

Two things I’ve learned in life;

1. Don’t go behind a horse.

2. Don’t go behind a woman!

[WarratahParticipant 895]

Long ago I farmed in Africa.
Early morning I’d take a .22 rifle down to the pond to shoot cormorants. Cormorants are fish-eating seabirds. In many parts of Africa they have migrated inland, pond-hopping. They stick around until they’ve emptied the pond of fish and then move on.
Farmers help them move on by shooting them. They don’t have a natural water repellant on their feathers so after a few dives they need to stretch their wings out in the sunshine to dry off. This makes a perfect target.
So I’d shot a few and had maðe my way around the pond. I happened to glance into the water and saw something white smiling back at me.
My first thought was “s~~~, a sheep has fallen in and drowned”
I took a closer look and realised it was a human smile that I was seeing …
Got home and called the cops. They came out and two of them entered the water to retrieve the corpse.
Now by this stage the corpse was almost a floater so raising it wasn’t too big a problem.
Getting it out was.
The corpse was that of an African man who had been under water for so long that his skin had turned a milky white.
One of the cops reached for his feet to pull him out.
The skin on the feet came off in his hands like a pair of slippers.
The cop stood there holding a pair of translucent feet.
Eventually we got the body onto the bank and while standing there looking at it, we noticed a tear in the belly area.
There was a small bit of movement and suddenly the biggest, fattest freshwater crab I’d ever seen crawled out of the corpse’s stomach and scuttled back into the pond.

...And in our own despair, against our will, Comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God. - Agamemnon; by Aeschylus

[Dashing Young DissidentSpectator]

Mr. Man wrote:

Saw my wife wearing nothing but bra and panties after she gained about 40 lbs in the space of a year. Gross as f~~~. Never f~~~ed her again after seeing that.

Lol.

[Dashing Young DissidentSpectator]

Keymaster wrote:

thought she was about to cum, and she started saying “No… no… NO… NO….. NO!!!!!”

And BBBBFFFFAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

LMAO!

[Dashing Young DissidentSpectator]

Warratah wrote:

The corpse was that of an African man who had been under water for so long that his skin had turned a milky white.
One of the cops reached for his feet to pull him out.
The skin on the feet came off in his hands like a pair of slippers.
The cop stood there holding a pair of translucent feet.
Eventually we got the body onto the bank and while standing there looking at it, we noticed a tear in the belly area.
There was a small bit of movement and suddenly the biggest, fattest freshwater crab I’d ever seen crawled out of the corpse’s stomach and scuttled back into the pond.

F~~~ing nasty! I would have recoiled in horror like a bitch!

[Dashing Young DissidentSpectator]

When I lived in Brunei in the early 90’s, my stepdad took me to this f~~~ed up indoor meat/fish market. No idea why we were there, prob out of his curiosity or what not. I saw a barrel of piled up chopped off cow heads, what looked like a donkey or something hanging from a metal hook and some guy was skinning it as it was still twitching. I remember the smell of the place very well. It was like a black meat market.

Also while I was in Brunei, I saw a dog on the motorway while in my parents car. We all watched as it walked in the road on the other side of the motorway oblivious to the peril, and these c~~~s in their car deliberately hit it while laughing. They had ample time to go around it as they were not going very fast at all and saw the dog a mile off. The dog was thrown onto the grass verge and writhed in pain. My mother was in hysterics and I just froze in horror. That f~~~ed me up for life seeing that. I cried all the way back home begging my stepfather to drive back and help it but the roads were chock a block and he didn’t.

Not the grossest thing I’ve ever seen, but that broke my f~~~ing heart seeing that.

[Anonymous 42]

Dashing Young Dissident wrote:

some guy was skinning it as it was still twitching.

You wana hear something f~~~ed up, I cleaned a giant snapping turtle that someone clubbed nearly to death with it’s face and jaw broken and half torn off, I did a mercy killing by dismembering it’s head with a maul, without thinking twice my mom looked up the recipe for snapping turtle soup, the people that tried it (self included) absolutely loved it, the large pot of soup only lasted a matter of days (that’s how good it was).

Back to the “twitching”, because of the turtles prehistoric nervous system when I was dicing the meat 10 hours after a brine bath and following the cook book instructions I began to dice the muscle into 1 inch cubes. The first muscle I cut into the damn thing jumped like fish! I threw it in the air with a loud AHHHHHHHH! WTF!

After regaining my composure I sat down to dice and slice the twitching muscle, grossing the f~~~ out down to every diced sq inch, every cut the s~~~ twitched and freaked me the f~~~ out!

Turtles are SLOW even at DYING!

[Dashing Young DissidentSpectator]

I saw a video of meat twitching when this guy bought it, f~~~ing weird! I bet you had no idea that was even possible! Neither would I have until the days of youtube haha.

[Writing Desk RavenParticipant 460]

Back when I first got out of college and was hopping around the US, I had a one night stand turn into a week long fling.

Toward the end of the week, we’ve got a good buzz going and I’m going down on her. She’s on her back on the bed and, right as she’s about to cum, I hear her gasp. Not the “I’m cumming” gasp, but the “I just remembered something bad” gasp.

Her vagina ratchets down, she locks up, and I feel a rush of heat…

And taste copper.

I know I looked like I was about to murder her on the spot because 1) she started tearful apologizing and 2) I booked to the bathroom mirror and found a f~~~ing furious-looking Dawn of the Dead extra staring back at me.

And that, kids, is why Uncle Raven doesn’t eat stray pussy.

"Almost the main work of life is to come out of our selves, out of the little dark prison we are all born in... The danger is that of coming to love the prison." ~ C.S. Lewis

[Dashing Young DissidentSpectator]

Did you lick out the same girl as KM? Lol.

[AutoliteParticipant]

Dashing Young Dissident wrote:

I saw a video of meat twitching when this guy bought it, f~~~ing weird! I bet you had no idea that was even possible! Neither would I have until the days of youtube haha.

Check out YouTube videos of the Japanese eating ‘live’ fish. The chefs quickly gut the fish being careful not to damage the head. Then they wrap the head in a towel and dip the rest of the fish in boiling oil, keeping the head ‘alive’.

The idea is to serve the fish as fast as possible so that the diners can start eating their meal while the gills are still flapping and the mouth is still gasping.

It’s suppose to be a sign that the fish is still ‘fresh’…

[Anonymous 42]

Autolite wrote:

eating their meal while the gills are still flapping and the mouth is still gasping.

MG-Tower would punching the fish live at the sushi bar!

[RusskyParticipant 13503]

I was mowing the lawn barefoot and stepped on a rotten rabbit. It felt like a slime – I almost slipped.
I thought I stepped on a toad, but then realized what it was. It was much bigger than a toad. I was so disgusted – I didn’t even look at my foot – I hopped on the other foot towards a water hose, and washed it off while looking the other way. Never again will I mow my lawn barefoot.

The runner up was two big dead chipmunks full of maggots I found in my garage whom I had to put them in a Ziploc bag to throw away. It was Friday, and the garbage day here is Thursday, it was middle of the summer and it stank like hell, so I had to bag them so they wouldn’t stink for another week

proud carrier of the 'why?' chromosome

[RusskyParticipant 13503]

by the way – I’d totally eat live sasimi and would love it

proud carrier of the 'why?' chromosome

[Anonymous 11]

This did not happen to me.

This guy was driving down a county road in rural South Carolina. A bush hog tractor was cutting the grass on the side of the road. As he passed it, a rotten possum carcass was flung from the blades of the bush hog and entered the guy’s truck hitting him in the face.

I don’t eat Pacific fish so no sushi for me unless it’s certified Atlantic.

[Anonymous 42]

My friend had to duck a brick size stone that ricocheted of a tree from a brush hog mounted to a skidsteer. He should be a professional boxer with reflexes like that! If I had to choose I’d take rotten possum to the face instead of stone!

[Dashing Young DissidentSpectator]

Autolite wrote:

Check out YouTube videos of the Japanese eating ‘live’ fish

Yeh I’ve seen these, or videos similar. Not very pleasant. I wouldn’t eat a dish like that, really off-putting.

[AutoliteParticipant]

Dashing Young Dissident wrote:

Yeh I’ve seen these, or videos similar. Not very pleasant. I wouldn’t eat a dish like that, really off-putting.

It’s gotta be a Japanese ‘cultural’ thing. I read that Jap doctors, during WWII, did experimental vivisections on live American POW’s without using anaesthetics.

You gotta have a real ‘particular’ mindset to do that kinda s~~~…

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unit_731

[Author]

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