What would happen to Lois Lane if Superman f~~~ed her?

[GoneGaltParticipant 361]

I posted a link to this short speculative story in another topic but wanted to post it here – the reason I find it so funny is because Niven carries the absurd to the extreme. What would happen to Lois if old Supey did shtoop her? Well, wonder no longer … I’d like to point out that Niven never explored the possibility of genetic mutation due to the various kryptonite being used in his examples to aid childbirth, which could then result in a stillbirth or a spontaneous abortion.

“Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex” – by Larry Niven, circa 1971

http://www.rawbw.com/~svw/superman.html

[jambearParticipant 282]

[GoneGaltParticipant 361]

lol!

[TheBardParticipant 974]

In the comics and other adaptation though he has had sex with Lois although different versions show different results. In the pre Flashpoint universe it has been established they have had sex although one could argue it has to be rather gentle and he couldn’t come inside of her. In the Reeve films they could not have sex unless he was depowered, then she got pregnant and for some odd reason their kid in Superman Returns had powers. In the Injustice comic she announced she was pregnant, but then Joker killed her so we never got to see the kid. In the New 52 in the future there exists Jonathan Lane Kent, Superboy, from the future who is their child so in some future in the New 52 they were also able to have sex and reproduce. Lastly Smallville caused the most confusion because it seemed to make up the rules however it wanted. Clark couldn’t have sex with a human which is why he was too afraid to date Lana. However as the show went on and he got with Lois he was able to have sex with her. When Jor-El came to earth in his youth he was able to have sex with Lana’s aunt just fine. Bizarro was able to have sex with Lana with no problem and the Smallville Bizarro is basically a copy of Clark exist for his weakness. While General Zod was in Lex’s body he retained all of his powers and abilities and was able to do fore activity with Lana without anything seeming odd. All in all I am just thankful that in the present day New 52 he is dating Wonder Woman since he can actually have sex with her however he wants without the risk of killing her lol.

[Anonymous 5]

I would imagine superman is a 1 pump chump because he is faster than a speeding bullet. I am also pretty sure his cum load would kill lois lane.

[GoneGaltParticipant 361]

That was Niven’s conclusion as well!

Bard: thanks for that background info, while I did read some comic in my teenage years I lost track of it when I moved on to other interests. I wonder if any of those writers were aware of Niven’s 1969 story???

My favorite was Batman – always wished they’d killed off Robin, lol.

[DkaiksterParticipant 90]

Here are a few quotes from Smallville (paraphrased):

Clark: You know, I am scared to even do anything with her. The way my powers are growing, I think….
Chloe: You think that when you are going to have sex with her you are going to….. come on! Are you seriously going to make me say this?

seasons later:

Chloe: You mean….. you and Lois are?
Clark: I have had my father (Jor-el)’s training and with it, I can control my powers better.

I am sorry that I don’t remember the exact lines, but this is the gist. Explains why Jor-el, Zod could do it easily. With all said and done, who cares? Superman should just kick Lois and wonder woman in their c~~~s to send them flying out of the orbit. Women are for pussies! (Get it?)

[TheBardParticipant 974]

<cite>@dkaikster said:</cite>
Here are a few quotes from Smallville (paraphrased):

Clark: You know, I am scared to even do anything with her. The way my powers are growing, I think….
Chloe: You think that when you are going to have sex with her you are going to….. come on! Are you seriously going to make me say this?

seasons later:

Chloe: You mean….. you and Lois are?
Clark: I have had my father (Jor-el)’s training and with it, I can control my powers better.

I am sorry that I don’t remember the exact lines, but this is the gist. Explains why Jor-el, Zod could do it easily. With all said and done, who cares? Superman should just kick Lois and wonder woman in their c~~~s to send them flying out of the orbit. Women are for pussies! (Get it?)

Excellent point although there is one other woman we forgot. When Clark married Alicia in season 4 they were just about to have sex, but then she took the red kryptonite ring off him. She had powers, but it was just teleportation and Clark was ready to bang her without question.

Although since my last post something new came up. DC announced their convergence tie ins and this is the over for Superman Convergence.

This is the pre Flashpoint modern Superman so the Superman we read from 1986-2011. So unlike Injustice were Lois was only like a week pregnant before Joker killed her this Lois is far into her pregnancy and seems to be healthy and I assume by the end the child will be born.

As for Superman and Wonder Woman together you could argue it makes Superman a MGTOW compared to when he was with Lois. Since he is with Wonder Woman he doesn’t have to bring him self down at all. Both can easily take care of themselves and are on equal footing. They can both fly half way across the world for dinner, go home and f~~~ each other, go out fighting crime together, meet with the Justice League, and go on about their solo business such as Clark working at the Daily Planet and getting stories and Diana going back to Themyscira as she is the God of War.

Superman couldn’t have a date in the sky like this with Lois lol.

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