What Red Flags Made you Realize How Little you Meant to Her?

[MemberParticipant 323]

Aside from the standard “came home and caught her in bed with the UPS man ” stories, what things did your ex do to tip you off on how low you ranked in her life?

Not the worst but an unusual one for me……..had been together for a while and I asked her to come by my job so she could pick me up and we could go out to lunch. She avoided giving me an answer so I asked why. Told me she could not remember how to get there. Since we only lived about 2 miles from my job I was incredulous. She said she was so bad with directions that she could not remember how to get there. I explained briefly how to get there and she still resisted which in turn upset me. I said ” you mean that you can find every mall and hair salon in a three county area but cannot find your way to pick me up for lunch?”. She turned it around on me of course that I was being mean. I don’t think I ever asked her to pick me up again for lunch.

I just assumed certain things without really confirming them. One was that my partner cared enough about our income source (and me) to actually be able to find it if needed. She brought that up for a long time afterwards with other people about how bad her sense of direction was and that I never believed her. Funny how it never kept her from shopping and dining all over the damn place when it benefited her.

Was one of many situations where my faith in her feelings for me was deflated (one of the milder ones too). I could write a book.

[The Skank SpankerParticipant 1372]

Women demonstrated how little I meant in relationships by:

1. Leaving me right after I lost my job & income. Female shallowness is infinite.

2. Using me as a boyfriend on display for all their girlfriends and family to see. Now I realize it was just a way of increasing her social value, treating me as an object. No wonder they always forced me to go to birthday parties and stupid social gatherings. LOL, I still remember how all her girlfriends were assessing me like some accessory / piece of meat. F~~~ that.

3. Using me to go fix all sort of things, moving stuff, doing f~~~ed up choirs just because I’m a strong man, and they are “weak”.

Ever since I turned red pill, I see what women use men for.

[Faust For ScienceParticipant 22558]

Lack of eye contact. And them wanting me to make time for them, but they refuse to make time for me.

[TheroniusParticipant 975]

For the most part the whole relationship was a red flag after the first month or so.. All of them. It took no time to figure out that the husband role in their lives was largely predefined, needing only an ox to fill the yoke, so to speak. The oxen are largely interchangeable.
One of them all of a sudden wants a kid (we weren’t married) because her sister had one and I had just managed to land a quantum-leap better job. I gave her a polite “f~~~ no!”. She was OK with that, and a week later said she was breaking up with me, and was seeing another guy. One who she knew before I knew her. Probably had him on a branch for quite a while,

"I am is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that I do is the longest sentence?" - George Carlin

[OldscoundrellParticipant 412]

In the very beginning of my blue pill days. Right after we had our kid and had just got an apartment together, meaning I paid for it. (Locked down)
A week after moving in, she is talking to her ex on the phone after his dad supposedly died, and consoling him. An alleged cheater btw, that she had previously claimed to not give two s~~~s about.

My response…WTF

Her reasoning, was that they were friends before they were together.

I didn’t agree or stand for it, because I had already been the guy on the phone talking to the girl with the bf.

I was the asshole in this scenario of her complete disrespect.

I have since learned to enjoy them for what they truly are, and no longer furnish their housing for any longer than necessary. Weekend max.

[MalfunctionNeedInputParticipant 257]

Constant threats of divorce after spending most of our shared money on her for the last 6 years, everything she wanted. After having our first and only child where I’d never felt so useless before in our marriage and nothing more than money coming in to support her and “HER” baby (not our). I felt I was meaningless to the marriage at that point on all accounts other than money. She recognized we were both unhappy and I finally agreed to divorce. Having a child changes women, for the worse (not that they were already good but yeah).

The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity. --Einstein

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Intriguing question.

One I remember very well, and all alarm bells went off. I was already pretty “over it” ( at the point where I thought “chicks are just too much trouble” ), but I was giving this one a really good shot, all of my effort, “for better or for worse” etc., and she was much younger. We’re in the car, and one day she tells me about when we FIRST FIRST FIRST got together. All her friends knew every intimate detail of course.

This one aggressively pursued me. She tells me her friends asked “what are you doing going to his place, calling him up”.…. and all of that. She tells me she told them: “one day this is all gonna pay off”.

PAY …….. OFF.

So now I’m aware, and then she starts sending me links to diamond and engagement rings she saw on eBay. (how uncomfortable is that?) But what REALLY got me clued in was the way she didn’t give a rat f~~~ ass about what mattered to me. I would say something like “today’s not a good day, the place is a mess, and Im really behind”…… and she would say “I don’t care”. She said that alot. “I don’t care”…. or “I don’t mind”.

Until one day I was shaving and she was in the shower,. and I objected to something and she says “I don’t care” / “I don’t mind”. Like my concern was totally dismissed and not worth considering.

I pulled back the shower curtain and YELLED at her for the first time.

I CARE!!!!!

Now she’s looking at me like Im a psycho killer. She never saw me that mad before. That was the day she started pulling away and planning her exit. She ended up going out of town for work and calls me to tell me she met someone else.

I didn’t care.

••••••

I should add…. many other times, if you tell a joke she would normally laugh at – but doesn’t ……… or you catch her just staring at you and not saying anything…….. you don’t mean jack s~~~ to her anymore. You may as well be an earthworm. She’s gone. Even if she’s still living and sleeping with you. That moment is when you should dump her on the spot. I have seen that a few times. They will stretch it out, but if you’re not convinced she is right there with you and present in the moment, get out, or get her out. It’s over.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[33wolfmanParticipant 216]

This right here, and I quote Keymaster on this; or you catch her just staring at you and not saying anything…….. you don’t mean jack s~~~ to her anymore. You may as well be an earthworm. She’s gone. Even if she’s still living and sleeping with you.
Right there you are being assessed, seen it a million times with my ex. When the assessment starts you might as well walk away right then and there. Women assess a potential man or the man she has, and she already has her mind made up.

[Prefer Peace to PieceParticipant 10809]

Great topic-
(Where to begin)
– True story. I was living with a chick in my blue pill days when I found a knife under her pillow. I took her to a head doctor friend of mine who told me he wasn’t qualified to help her. Apparently, she hated men and my friend said she needed to see a female shrink. He also said, “By the way, your life is in danger.” She was out in about 10 minutes- locks changed same day.
– more recently, a chick stopped talking to me on my birthday because according to friends, she saw on my tablet that I had visited MGTOW.
– recently, I was late for a professional meeting because a lady friend ran out of lipstick and had a “fashion emergency”.
Finding sex is easy. Trying to find a lady who will listen to you, respect you, and actually care is difficult or damn near impossible. Thus MGTOW.
I don’t like being around self-centered, selfish, self-absorbed chicks which is pretty much all of them these days. And I really don’t like being around the crazy ones who could actually kill you in your sleep. They are out there.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Prefer Peace to Piece wrote:

– True story. I was living with a chick in my blue pill days when I found a knife under her pillow. …..She was out in about 10 minutes- locks changed same day.

Fuuuuucccccckkkk.

Prefer Peace to Piece wrote:

a chick stopped talking to me on my birthday because according to friends, she saw on my tablet that I had visited MGTOW.

Is it wrong that I think that’s awesome?

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Prefer Peace to PieceParticipant 10809]

Yeah, I tell all of my lady friends that I’m MGTOW and that I visit the website. Great time saver.
A lot of them don’t care. Drives the feminists insane.

[Anonymous 18]

Me not landing a position for temporary period of time that would allow me to earn substantial amount in near future was labelled baggage.

From a single mother of 2 kids. Full time student at 28, ex husband committed suicide. Her father pays her house mortgage. Visits a shrink for counseling. Was served for part custody of kids by her in-laws. Her older kid was beside her bed one night – woke her up and said mommy I want to kill you. He was 6.

I wish I was making any of it up.

On a side note – She had t~~~ like a 80 year old (how the f~~~ do I even know this? – Ahhh doing EKGs on old ladies) and a vagina that at best could be described as a wet paper bag.

I still did that – thing. How much nicer do you get than that?

[Faust For ScienceParticipant 22558]

iLearn, after reading your post, I am not going to ask if you have any standards. You clearly don’t. I am going to ask if you are sane? Because only a lunatic would date, let alone have sex, with someone that messed up.

There are red flags, like the small flags that are used to mark underground cables. And then there are the large red flags, like the tall poles with the battleship flags on them. You clearly missed the large battleship red flags with this woman.

[Anonymous 18]

Faust For Science wrote:

iLearn, after reading your post, I am not going to ask if you have any standards. You clearly don’t. I am going to ask if you are sane? Because only a lunatic would date, let alone have sex, with someone that messed up.

She had me by playing the helpless victim. It wasn’t until I saw what was happening that I pulled the plug. Ever so slowly.

Can’t argue brother. Wasn’t the first pussy I had. I had way better to compare. Even I don’t know why or how I got in that mess myself.

Sometimes I wonder about my standards. And also about my sanity while the bitch was tightening the screws.

Lesson learned.

I’d like to add that partly it was my own c~~~y bitchass thinking I’d not fall for a woman with red flags like that. But she came to “meet me” in 4 different states 500-800 miles apart. She was one attractive sociopath.

[MalfunctionNeedInputParticipant 257]

God…some of these stories you guys have, iLearn, man…I don’t even know what to say to that…I’d sooner beat off using my feet than f~~~ing what you described. I bet you still have nightmares….

The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity. --Einstein

[RoyDalParticipant]

My relationships seemed to fall into the same pattern, the ones that lasted more than a few weekends that is.

Honeymoon — she’s all lovey dovey, and I enjoy her company.
Takes me for granted — she just assumes I’ll show up and do all the things she used to ask for, but I still enjoy her company.
Indifference — she makes it plain she doesn’t need me around but demands I show up anyway, and I’d better keep doing all the things she used to ask for. She’s not fun anymore; I’m hanging on to the relationship out of force of habit alone.
Anger — everything that goes wrong in her life is my fault. Time for you to leave, Grasshopper.

What worked best for me was to let her “break up” with me. When I broke up with her, she would come back to haunt me — the specter at the feast.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[KeymasterKeymaster]

33wolfman wrote:

This right here, and I quote Keymaster on this; or you catch her just staring at you and not saying anything…….. you don’t mean jack s~~~ to her anymore. You may as well be an earthworm. She’s gone. Even if she’s still living and sleeping with you.

What’s remarkable to me is the change. There is nothing subtle about it, Her expression and eyes go dead, and you didn’t even do anything – or need to have a fight. Of all the oscar-winning performances, tears, acting and covering up women do, THIS ^^ is something she can’t fake. And you can kiss 2/3/4 years goodbye too. It never counted for s~~~.

That’s the part freaky part. It’s natural to “fall out of love”. But now you have a history and you’re invested, so other things take over…… and even though you’re not as GaGa over her as you once were, you bonded on some level.

She did not. And then it’s like she never did.

And THEN…. YEARS later…… out of the blue…. she tells you she still loves you. It’s whacked, I tell you.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Anonymous 11]

I’ve experienced many of the same things everyone else has. In the end we are simply replaced with a new toy.

My funniest red flag ever was having the wench mention another city’s name while I was transitioning her to another sexual position the first time we had sex. It took me several months to finally learn where that twisted rabbit hole led. I did use it to create a really cool sounding alias for myself though. It’s almost as awesome as saying “Bond, James Bond”.

Once a woman gets dissatisfied with a man, she will have a bevy of white knights, manginas, blue pillers and possibly Chad all jockeying for your place. She can pick and choose at her leisure via social media, work, church or bar. When her eyes begin to resemble those of a dead fish, your replacement has been acquired. It’s easy to be cruel to someone when you control the playing field. It takes character to not be that way. Many modern women tend to be severely lacking in the character area so thank feminism for that gift.

As mentioned prior, it’s still best to let them dump you or trick them into thinking they dump you. I’ve always been one to walk away and never look back whenever I exit a relationship. They all came after me with all guns blazing even though they were in a relationship and were “happy”. They’d get my replacement hating me too as part of their bonding process.

[Anonymous 5]

Probably the verbal abuse. Apparently I am “Scum”, “Disgusting”, “Piece of s~~~”, “Stupid”, “Loser”, “Pathetic”, “Asshole” and a million other hurtful insults I would rather not say. Those that I listed were some of the “nicer” words she used to say to me. I used to get hour long lectures on how much of a “failure in life” I am…

Those were some dark days…

Oh and I agree with Keymaster about that “look”. I know exactly what you guys are talking about. She had that look all the time with me back then.

Thankfully that is the past now. She is gone, I am happily single and my mental health is perfect. Never been happier. 🙂

[Prefer Peace to PieceParticipant 10809]

Keymaster wrote:

What’s remarkable to me is the change. There is nothing subtle about it, Her expression and eyes go dead, and you didn’t even do anything – or need to have a fight. Of all the oscar-winning performances, tears, acting and covering up women do, THIS ^^ is something she can’t fake. And you can kiss 2/3/4 years goodbye too. It never counted for s~~~.

Keymaster-
Great observation. I call it the “glassy stare”. It’s terminal and means the relationship is over.
– the “glassy stare” is unannounced. It comes when you didn’t do anything.
– usually it means you have already been replaced
– talking doesn’t do any good. They are lying to you at that point
– when this happens to me, I try get thru the evening as quickly as possible and then never contact them again. The “glassy stare” is terminal.
It means the relationship is dead.
Ditto for the “glassy ear”

[Author]

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