What I would say to my young self…

[Anonymous 3]

If I had a way to speak to my younger self, could I say something to save him from a lot of pain?

Maybe no. Most likely I would not listen. Sometimes I needed a lot of pain to stop being an idiot. But for those that are now in my old shoes, that are less masochists than I was, here is what I would say to myself:

“You are not responsible for everything! Stop carrying all that weight on your shoulders!”

I always was blue pill as hell. A regular “good boy”, trained from young age to be “nice” and a “gentleman”.

I always had an idealistic (and blatantly wrong) image of men and women. Women where supposed to be these frail and delicate flowers that need protection and caring. While men where the strong and rough creatures, that are supposed to protect women…

But I ask you, protect women from what and how?

In our modern world we have no dangers, we cannot carry weapons of any sort anyway.

The answer is hard to admit, but I wanted to protect her from the world. Make sure nothing unpleasant happened, and that no discomfort where to upset the delicate flower I was with.

But all my attempts where frustrated, because life keeps happening and the delicate flower kept being more demanding and sensitive.

But here comes the rub, I forgot to take responsibility for myself!

The delicate flower keeps throwing me emotional bricks, and I failed to defend myself. I ended up battered and bloodied.

In the end my world view revealed itself to be totally wrong, and women are not the delicate flowers I was sold off, but rather carnivorous plants. They are the GREATEST DANGER TO ANY MAN!

(Would you stick your dick in that?)

But even if that knowledge was not available to me, at least I should protect myself and be responsible for my own well-being. If I had some perceived responsibility for others, then the most important question needed to be asked:

“Are they worth it? Are they reciprocating our effort in an worthwhile manner?”

If the answer is no, then you are a fool and being taken advantage off.

And for those that had taken no responsibilities yet, learn from those that had and RUN LIKE HELL!

ITS NOT WORTH IT!
IT NEVER PAYS OFF!
YOU ARE ALWAYS THE FOOL AND TAKEN ADVANTAGE OFF!

[Anonymous 18]

Anonymous wrote:

But here comes the rub, I forgot to take responsibility for myself!

It is really not an option. No man in a relationship can cater to a woman’s needs AND simultaneously take care of himself i.e. be responsible for his well-being.

A woman as a parasite can’t thrive off a host if there were no gains to be had.

Briffault’s Law.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Excellent thought-provoking topic. Thank you. Very curious what others would say. My own list is pretty long but the top 3 would be:

#1. Learn to like saying “no” and make it your first response.

#2. Relax. You don’t need her approval for anything – ever.

#3. Stop trying to be liked.

I could go on for another week….

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Anonymous 3]

Anonymous wrote:

It is really not an option. No man in a relationship can cater to a woman’s needs AND simultaneously take care of himself i.e. be responsible for his well-being.

I agree. However, there are those that need to discover it the hard way, and my post is for them to question themselves and realize it.

For others…

Anonymous wrote:

IT NEVER PAYS OFF!
YOU ARE ALWAYS THE FOOL AND TAKEN ADVANTAGE OFF!

[Anonymous 18]

Anonymous wrote:

there are those that need to discover it the hard way, and my post is for them to question themselves and realize it.

It will only be obvious in hindsight. We ought not to give men more credit than they deserve.

A man who is using a woman’s vagina for his own pleasure while taking responsibility for his own well-being at the risk of losing access to vagina in question doesn’t exist.

She is giving said man access to vagina in return for him to disregard his well-being and prioritize her needs and wants.

Being with a woman and being responsible for your own growth/happiness are mutually exclusive.

[joetechParticipant]

I would have told myself, “Look. You can’t expect your mother to give you life advice when you need it. She never does. She’s too busy being a mother and freaking out over you being in the military to care whether you marry or not. Besides, she probably wants grandkids more than she wants your happiness. If you marry this broad you’ll end up with a whiny baby mama that’s never taken care of anything her whole life. There goes your cross country ski trip. Just live your life and remember all the girls like Carol and Gail and let’s not forget Sandy and her sister. Are you sure you want to tote one of those around with you all over the country? For what? So she can cheat on you with your friends and deny you the companionship of the brothers you’ll have in the Navy? Let your genius brother get married and f~~~ up his life. You need a wife and kids like a fish needs a bicycle!” And then I would have kicked myself in the ass and yelled, “What the f~~~ were you thinking? You KNOW what this woman is like! Why do you think you’re having second thoughts? She’s not going to get better. She’s going to get worse!” But, alas, I would have fallen in love with Darlene instead and still made the same damned mistake.

"Don't follow in my footsteps...I stepped in something."

[NerdTunnelerParticipant]

LOL…I would smack my younger self in the head and give him the site to MGTOW.com because no amount of explaining could budge my stupid white knight head then…
I just hope KM has already talked sense to his younger self to start this site earlier so more men could be saved and we would not have wasted precious years of our lives chasing pussy…

I stand with feet apart and let my balls hang free...Manginas dont have balls...See how they stand and sit at the whim of their masters...

[Anonymous 3]

Anonymous wrote:

She is giving said man access to vagina in return for him to disregard his well-being and prioritize her needs and wants.

I dont quite agree with that one.

That would not explain why men stick around when sex dries up. It doesn’t explain why men are still married when their wives become landwhales.

I mean, who would want to have sex with that?

I tell you why, IMHO. You may be right about women, they only care for resources and its all about themselves. But I give more credit to men in general.

Yes we are crazy about sex, yes we do anything for it. But we look for meaningful emotional relationships where sex is an EXPRESSION of the relationship.

That is why most men would not marry a prostitute, neither would marry a woman that doesnt care about them. Its is meaningful for a man that there are feelings present, while a woman is able to overlook those with the proper incentive.

Men are not the sexual predators we are lead to believe we are. We have the strength, we have the intellect, if we did not care about feelings then no woman would go a day without being rapped multiple times.

But despite the feminist dreams, that does not happen! Men even police themselves to avoid it.

Women are actually safe around most men. In some cases they can even beat a guy and he will not strike back!

Is he afraid of losing sex? I dont think that idea even crosses his mind.

What is in his mind is a misguided sense of self-sacrifice, responsibility for her, and keeping his oath in marriage.

Men are victims because of their best nature!

That is why they say “man UP” and nobody say “woman up”. Women would laugh at it, only men aim for a higher moral and ethical behaviour.

[FunInTheSunParticipant 8283]

I was thinking about this today. If I could communicate to my younger self, I’d write this in a letter:

Don’t worry so much about getting a girlfriend, and if you get a good one, don’t marry her. Why? All the fun you had while you were dating her is temporary. After you sign the marriage contract, the party is over and the pussy dries up.

Don’t worry about being liked by everyone. Don’t worry about your lack of material possessions—you have the ability to fix that problem. Don’t hate yourself for making a mistake. Learn from the mistake and move on. Building good character traits and a large bank account isn’t something that is done overnight—for most of us. One day at a time: learn something new, do something productive, eat something that will make you healthy, save a few coins for future investments, take one step toward a worthwhile goal, and have a few moments of laughter.

Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing with their lives, and try not to be envious of others. Instead, focus your attention on your own life and what you think is best for yourself. Your life matters.

By taking one step at a time, you’ll reach the top of the mountain that everyone told you was impossible to climb.

.
.
.
.
.

P.S. Here’s a list of all the winning trifectas of the Kentucky Derby for the next 20 years. Don’t show anyone this list—it’s top secret!

"I saw that there comes a point, in the defeat of any man of virtue, when his own consent is needed for evil to win-and that no manner of injury done to him by others can succeed if he chooses to withhold his consent. I saw that I could put an end to your outrages by pronouncing a single word in my mind. I pronounced it. The word was ‘No.’" (Atlas Shrugged)

[BushidoParticipant 637]

I wonder from time to time if, given the option, changing my past would be wise.

No.. I believe not.

My profession gives me worldwide renown as a life-taker and a heart-breaker, much like the stories we see and write about here – only difference being a Code of Honor guiding my way. However.. if I had one thing to say to my former, naive self, it would be thus:

“Bushido, you will experience heartbreak like nothing you ever felt before. The person you put your all in will fail you and leave you to pick up the discarded pieces. The pain will put you to a test, the ultimate test that makes you wonder if your life is valuable … and you will find that your life will have more meaning than it ever had before.”

Be strong, brothers. We are but the sum of our experiences, and without pain there is no pleasure.

Logic guides your actions, emotion guides your morals. Only you may decide how you use them.

[Anonymous 3]

FunInTheSun,
Those where wise words to say to a young man.

[Anonymous 3]

Bushido wrote:

Be strong, brothers. We are but the sum of our experiences, and without pain there is no pleasure.

True.

If all is good, eventually good is normal and normal is bad. And what is to be good then?

This explains our times.

[FunInTheSunParticipant 8283]

Anonymous wrote:

FunInTheSun,
Those where wise words to say to a young man.

Thank you, Manfred.

I imagine that if there’s a future version of myself out there, he’d tell me to chill out. I worry too much.

"I saw that there comes a point, in the defeat of any man of virtue, when his own consent is needed for evil to win-and that no manner of injury done to him by others can succeed if he chooses to withhold his consent. I saw that I could put an end to your outrages by pronouncing a single word in my mind. I pronounced it. The word was ‘No.’" (Atlas Shrugged)

[MACHOParticipant]

Anonymous wrote:

The delicate flower keeps throwing me emotional bricks, and I failed to defend myself. I ended up battered and bloodied.
In the end my world view revealed itself to be totally wrong, and women are not the delicate flowers I was sold off, but rather carnivorous plants.

Anonymous wrote:

(Would you stick your dick in that?)

Great post! and a very well written one with awesome graphics 👍

Now What I would say to my young self… well it’s a question that At my Age I was able to answer long ago! Actually I wouldn’t say anything to my younger self! because the results of all those horrible episodes made me an incredibly resilient, flexible, determined, disciplined and if need be a relentless man!

All thoses years of suffering have taught me so much that I couldn’t imagine being able to enjoy life the way I enjoy it today hadn’t I gone through it all! Thank you.

You must own a better Crystal ball than I

[Anonymous 3]

MACHO wrote:

All thoses years of suffering have taught me so much that I couldn’t imagine being able to enjoy life the way I enjoy it today hadn’t I gone through it all! Thank you.

No, thank you!

I agree, it appears that all that happens needed to happen in order for us to learn.

[Anonymous 42]

I would tell myself to go to Alaska and never return to civilization! The skiing thing was gonna happen wherever I went! After seeing Franz Klammer’s hair raising run I WAS HOOKED! His average down hill speed was nearly 70 mph! (111km) I discontinued downhill after nearly getting killed! Went to back country, moguls and free stile, my downhill skis are rusty and I’ll never do that again! I must admit it was fun flying without wings at that speed!

[NoMoreParticipant 1233]

I would tell myself to worry less, you are going to make it. There will be great pain, heartache, and loss along the way, but you will eventually be free to do all the things you dreamed about when you were a kid. You will also have a young son to follow in your footsteps. Don’t let fear prevent you from making decisions you know are right. Tell your grandma you love her more, because she won’t be around much longer.

I wouldn’t tell my younger self any other specifics. The butterfly effect would change who I am now. Sure, I may avoid a few specific bad times, but I’ve made it through them. I have no idea how my life would have turned out if I hadn’t gotten married, except that I wouldn’t have my wonderful son.

So, I’d just look at him and say, you’re going to make it and it’s going to be a crazy ride, and slap him on the back.

A co-worker recently told me, "If you want to see who someone really is, divorce them." I have found out how true this is. When your wife drops the façade of being the caring partner, you will witness all of the greed, hate, and spite that she has masked. It is truly breathtaking!

[Jim01Participant 6678]

I don’t want this to sound like I am up myself but I wouldn’t change anything….

I know guys on here have had it a lot harder than me and I am not projecting onto them at all but just saying my personal feelings and if we change things then we change who we are…

“we are the sum of our memories” and if we change things then we aren’t the same person…I guess the real question is do you want to be someone else?

PS I apologise to the member on here who thinks bad grammar = stupidity but I won’t lose any sleep over it

[Ranger OneParticipant 16836]

I would have told myself in 1986 after graduating high school to do a computer internship in college at all costs before graduating, and to not date any women from that time forwards.

I would have listened if the reasons were presented logically; I simply didn’t know any better back then. Heck, I was a virgin until 1991 and didn’t have much interest in women until about 1989, so it would have saved me much aggravation.

All my life I've had doubts about who I am, where I belonged. Now I'm like the arrow that springs from the bow. No hesitation, no doubts. The path is clear. And what are you? Alive. Everything else is negotiable. Women have rights; men have responsibilities; MGTOW have freedom. Marriage is for chumps. If someone stands in the way of true justice, you simply walk up behind them and stab them in the heart-R'as al Ghul.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Jim01 wrote:

I don’t want this to sound like I am up myself but I wouldn’t change anything….

I understand that too, and actually, there is very little I would change – including the points I mentioned above. No desire for do-overs which is a good thing! As you said.

I was just “too kind” overall and could have afforded to say no a little more often instead of being a Dudley Doright and blurting out an automatic “yes”. But I still don’t regret it, and consider it a better way to live. It’s just “What I would say to my young self“.

( we are much harder on ourself than others )

I would – and still! – tell another younger man “be just a little bit nicer to girls (and everyone) than they are to you”. He won’t see the benefits of that TODAY, but he will later , because he always strived to be “a good man”.

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[Author]

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