Went from marriage to MGTOW in record time

[OkynromParticipant 7]

Hi folks ! French dude here, have been lurking for some weeks, finally “officializing” my presence as I feel it is necessary. Thanks for this great place, BTW !

I will be trying to make my (long) personal story short.
Was 27, but only had 4 relationships -the longest of which lasted 6 months- when I met this foreign girl in Paris. She was very well-educated, spoke the language fluently, was finishing her MBA and planning to make some money as a freelancer (I was already doing this at that time). After 4-5 months of random passionnate encounters, I offered her to move to my place, what she accepted quickly.

2-3 years of various journeys later, I know all of her story and family very well. She started making money in her native Southern Europe country in between, because France was difficult for her. Things go difficult for me, too ; but I luckily get a well-paid job offer, which I dumbly turn down because (self-citation) “You dedicated so much of your time for me,  lived 2 years in my home without a steady job, so I will just come to you and do the same, get to know the people, and look for a job” (how dumb was I… trying to reciprocate her ; she must have interpeted it as beta and submissive !).

6 months later, she insists on marrying me, mostly for family standards reasons ; some of her relatives even having a role in the local Church. I accept (I know, I know… buying her sh*t).

Strangely, she deeply and quickly changes after the ceremony. She more and more comes back home angry, telling me about bad stuff from work and problems I cannot solve, using me as an emotional tampon but without reciprocating 1/3rd of the amount she did before. Lots of expectations, very little sex, and disregards for my language-learning work. At that time, I do a little remote work from home, but she earns slightly more than me… I begin to instinctively understand something.

The deal-breaker comes suddenly. She knew I didn’t want a baby before I was able to find a least one good job around. But one day, condom slips, she had stopped birth control because (citation) “It makes me feel depressed” (sh*t again !)  and when I offer to buy an “emergency pill” just in case, she looks me right in the eyes and yells “Never !”.

I insult her, begin to pack my stuff ; panicking, she calls her family, her daddy comes and tries to stop me, I stay only because of the threat. She now totally looks and acts like a witch. Her face looks crazy, her voice is full of anger.  This is a totally different woman than my loved spouse.

I immediately start applying for jobs back in France. Meanwhile, for God’s sake, her new job dumps her because she only worked there for a few months and, learning about her pregnancy, they feel cheated -just as I do. I find an excellent job and fly back, offering her to “come join me if she wants to”. She doesn’t want, but comes because she is now unemployed…. all love is gone anyway.

We try it for one more year for the sake of the baby, doesn’t work of course, she goes back home with my son. We will divorce at my request… I will pay for him, but not for full alimony.  Recently, she started to text me again,  saying that “She feels so alone, and if you want to come, and if you want to help, we will go out in clubs and bars again “ …. wtf ? Women are pure evil.

Have never been so happy to be single, nor so glad this place exists ! Hi everyone at MGTOW !

[…Spectator 1165]

Okynrom: damn, thank God you had another country to go to. Not many guys have that option. Welcome to MGTOW. it is f~~~ing awesome here.

[OkynromParticipant 7]

Hi ListenUp!, and thank you for welcoming me ! Yes it could have been a lot worse, especially when reading all the crazy s~~~ on TRP and here… Cool place indeed, I’ll hang around.

[BrainPilotParticipant 7640]

Welcome Okynrom,
I read your intro above and smiled (like many other older readers here probably did) when I got to the part where you wrote that “Strangely, she changed after the ceremony…”. I smiled because I know this is not strange. This is actually very common and has happened to most of us here. 🙂

Welcome to the club…!

Look, it's not my fault that tornado dropped a house on your sister. Now get back on your broom and get your ass out of here... and take your monkeys with you

[OkynromParticipant 7]

Hi Lodoss and Brainpilot,

Just read your story, Lodoss, these parts really outraged me :

I was arrested for assault and confinement […] I stayed one week in jail

three months after my release she gets pregnant with her boss’s child, who she was exchanging sexual txts while we were married

” hun, you are stuck with me, we have a child together”

puzzling to see how irresponsible and arrogant they can act, while at the same time acting as a victim in front of various other people to “shield” them  (my wife called her dad like she were a little girl ; wanted to call the cops too, but feared they might not prove her right since she was a foreigner…).

I really commiserate and wish you a relieving ending. Good luck pal !

[OkynromParticipant 7]

Hi guys,

4 months after this original post, and 6 months after the separation with my “wife”, just wanted to give some feedback to this great community. Sorry if this is bad practice, but didn’t find a better subforum.

(sorry for not having been very active meanwhile, but I didn’t see the point in holding forth ; I once wanted to open a subject on vasectomies, how to get them and avoiding pitfalls : interested ?)

So the first thing is that I totally stopped being a nice guy to my soon-ex-wife. I honestly, sincerely, treated her like sh*t, took minimum 1 day to answer the lightest of her calls, refusing to send her extra money unless she sent actual bills, asking my lawyer for advice … I even asked for a partial refund once, when I discovered she used a part of the money -supposedly, for the baby- to buy an extra… And, you know what ?  It was the best decision I could have made !

When I was behaving gently, “beta-ishly”, she did not respect me ; so she was mean and trying to cheat in every way possible. But as soon as I started to be strong, merciless, and sometimes rude, in her mind I was behaving like a “real male” and so she not only started to take a better tone, but even agreed to some of the decisions. For instance, when I asked for the refund, she only tried to argue once before sending the money the very same day !

She tried to use the baby so many times to “soften” me… Sad… but I never, ever caved. Always refused to trade my rights and money against the “right” to see my son under her conditions… often heart-breaking, but at the end, it paid.

The point is, you cannot treat her like a reasonable human being. If you start to cave, make concessions, she will see it as “beta” and eat your arm… you have to distantly dominate her, to show you do not care at all, be totally indifferent to her emotional acts ; and she may not like that, but that she respects. Just accept to be the “bad guy”, so she can be the fictional “good girl” in the eyes of her friends and family… at least you, and your close relatives, know the truth.

And now, more personal. I spent a huge time improving myself : lost 22 pounds, started lifting at a gym I found near my new place, began learning finance in my spare time. Totally avoided relationships with women, only saw old friends, colleagues, and family. Only 1-2 new male relations from new workplace. And then, 2 weeks ago, began to go out and register on dating sites again, with new photos and bio.

Holy sh*t. So much chicks smiling in the street, sending messages, wanting to know “more” about you. Met the first one last week, ugly but used to be in parties, going out with her this week ; spoke with another one yesterday, and one this evening on a dating site, know everything about her school and sister already. Don’t want to marry them of course ;).

The other point : being a MGTOW doesn’t mean you have to give up what you enjoy.  Just have self-respect and discipline. Go away from negative people, be in a place where they cannot reach you (even if you’re alone, it’s better than their company); and then dedicate your new free time to learning new interesting things. Don’t fear weeks of loneliness, see them as an opportunity to improve, while other men are deadbrainly servicing unthankful wives. Only give your time to people if they deserve it, or if you sincerely feel like it. And it may very well be enough.

Thanks for eventually allowing me to pontificate ;).

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