Raised by only my mom, I learned everything wrong, upside down and backwards.
I’m in my 40’s, just now waking up to the realities of what the red pill actually is/does.
I have lived all my life at the whims of women, one or another, usually many simultaneously (wife, mother-in-law, aunt, grandma, etc…).
I was a functioning alcoholic until a few years ago, getting my head clear enabled me to wake up.
It has been a daunting process, but there are many successes I can and do enjoy.
I was on a very dark path, an old friend checked himself out…we had similar lives. This was the main catalyst to improve myself. I had thought my wife would be thrilled at my sobriety, my drinking was her major complaint. My drinking was all of our problems, if you asked her, but my sobriety made things much worse. She was even more distant or abrasive, and lazy.
S~~~ was a mess already, then I start seeing clues to all kinds of crazy s~~~. Financial shenanigans, lying about me to friends and family, and as if dropped from the sky, FB messages from 4 years prior leaking into my iPhone from a women telling me my wife is f~~~ing her husband. I am dumbfounded by these revelations, but smart enough to just hold these cards and continue observing. More and more piles up until I finally decide to talk to her about what I know, what I am going to do about it, and why (we have two teenagers). I was expecting some difficult s~~~ but…
She went entirely blackhearted and started behaving very erratically, it was an other-wordly experience that is designed to throw dysfunctional men into a tailspin, except I wasn’t dysfunctional enough any longer, so I went calm and observed. Many people will fall for the bait and end up with a restraining order, trespassed out of their own home. Many would keep chasing their phantoms.
I instead, would throw a little fuel on her fire when she wasn’t paying attention by abruptly but calmly talking about her wrongdoings and how we were going to fix it. After 7 days of this, she moved out, without the kids, just left. The divorce is very close to final, I have legal custody, though we share 50/50.
My son’s attitude toward me is shifting and unpredictable, this indicates she is poisoning his mind.
My daughter is doing really good, she is a special case…she knows what I am.
Her mother trapped me with this pregnancy years ago, I experienced the birth of my child and it changed and deepened my heart.
We found out after she was a year old that she is not biologically mine.
I wasn’t going to leave, she’s my beautiful little girl, learning to walk and talk…
I still to this day doubt I will ever know who her father is. I know it doesn’t really matter, it just bothers me.
I am glad I stayed for a few reasons, my kids and feeling as though I am breaking a cycle.
If I would have left, their lives would be very different right now.
If I had to pick one thing to share as the biggest lesson I learned through all this: calm – remain f~~~ing calm
I still have a long way to go, although I can see pretty damn clear now, its still not in real time.
Just the other day I had to face another epiphany that had been staring at me:
An old friend of my X’s (who is also living a cleaner life now) said to me,
“We all had drunken husbands and boyfriends cuz they’re easier to manipulate”
That was in March,…7 months later I am just now seeing the significance of her including the word “easier”…
…Bitches were under-achievers…
Its f~~~ing hard to nutshell all the crazy thats between the lines here, my own madness a big contributor, I know.
I’m just happy to be really living my life finally, doing right for my kids with less interference and getting my s~~~ together.
Thank you to MGTOW and this site. Very well done and a service to man.
…and Bill Burr, that guy woke me up too, now somebody should warn him…
Raz 2 years, 2 months ago.
