Good evening Guys,
…have hung around the MGTOWsphere for at least a year, just recently had the courage to come out of the shadows, and into the light.
This place feels like a clubhouse, like the only clubhouse i have ever felt attracted to. Where Men speak straight to other men share their experiences and setting up free warning signs for others.
No women to stir up s~~~.
I am 34 now, right at the age where big head overpowers little head.
Employed in the IT field, i enjoy my introversion and my solitude.
No, i do not live at Momma´s. Momme´s long gone. […subject for another post]
Not in a basement either.
Bought/financed my apartment age 16, and moved in 6 months past the 18 mark when it was ready for use.
This apartment was a Pussy magnet for a while at an age where others were still in school, and many a woman came and went.
Many different kinds of women too. Thin virgin, fat ugly virgin, and fat single mom. Double my age and five years my junior. “Only want sex” lady, “Will polish doorknob for shelter” whore.
Pussybegger… that was me.
Here. guilty as charged.
Only ONE – my spanish “NAWALT” managed to put her claws in me for 3 years, and when her sister married there were signs of pressure towards me too.
But due to my personal history this was off the table, so a few months later i sent her packing.
As i explained it to my entourage… “She was no good. I sent her back to her parents before the warranty ran out”.
A few frowned. a few laughed. Even fewer understood.
That was a decade ago, and since that time i have slowed down a bit and stayed true to my principle of not committing, not cohabiting, and i stopped putting pussy on a pedestal.
Have switched careers to ICT by doing a 4 year Apprenticeship.
School + work + little pay during those years have forced to learn the difference between “need” and “want”.
I still want pussy.
No longer need it.
I patiently waited until an opportunity arose where i could get what i want without committing + being in control over the relationship by holding the Sword of Damocles over her head.
5 years, am still in charge and ready to get rid of her at a moments notice.
Last year a redpilled man gave me some man to man advice as well as a swift kick in the ass, and the first time in my life I negotiated a Pay raise.
I came out with 33% extra. Cash i do not need, but that i will gladly use to unlock possibilities and train mental skills as time goes by.
The red pill awakening has begun early, and it is a stony road to walk.
It is an endless struggle, or so it seems right now.
So where am i now?
Passed Denial, passed Anger- mostly. Anger is useful now, as a steady reminder.
I am at the stage of bargaining – i still bang a woman/gilf although i am in charge of the situation, i know this too, will end. It is close to, as my Brain overpowers my Dick month after month.
I have one foot in depression – what is the purpose of life? the purpose of life is to End. (Mr Smith)
Acceptance lies years away, like a promised land. I listen to men that have reached this stage. They motivate me to stay alive, to keep up the first steps i take to think only of me, myself and I.
I am still aboard Nebuchadnezzar taking it all in. And Puking frequently like a friggin´ Noob.
But i unplugged from the system a long time ago, and what has been seen can not be unseen.
Each of them can turn into an agent.
One way for me to be safe is to declare “I am married… to my PC, my Operating System and to my Dog”.
Takes me off their radar Instantly.
Point Of No Return 2 years, 11 months ago.
