Unhappily married but better late than never

[Chuck WowParticipant 141]

Hello everyone…it feels great to have found this website and message board. Despite being in a bad marriage (are there good ones anymore?), I feel surprisingly optimistic. Why you may ask? Well I am planning my escape and looking forward to my future for the first time since I can remember.

The marriage:

Married for almost 20 years and we are both in our mid-40s and have a wonderful 14-year old son. I can’t remember the last time we had sex or had any type of intimacy but I don’t miss it at all to be honest. Like most women my wife is extremely selfish, including in the bedroom. I would be lucky to get 1 or 2 BJs a year but when we used to regularly have sex I would go down on her almost every time until she had an orgasm before intercourse. Makes me sick thinking about doing that now. Every single time I was the one initiating sex and finally just got tired of trying and making all the effort. I forced myself to eat her out a few months ago and discovered her pussy now stinks. She always used to have great feminine hygiene and I am too much of a nice guy to tell her about it.

Luckily we never have the huge “blow up” fights (I hate conflict) but is that better than almost no interaction at all? We are basically roommates now but I always try to be respectful to her despite her rudeness. To give my wife credit, she is a hard worker with a decent salary and surprisingly good at not spending much money despite being an entitled bitch. Her constant negativity though is what makes me not want to be around her…it is truly toxic. Despite having a nice house, no debt besides a mortgage, retirement savings, yearly vacations, she drives a nice car, $130 hair styling monthly, nice makeup etc. All her work friends tell her she is lucky to have a nice husband and great lifestyle.

Of course I take care of all responsibilities/maintenance for the house, yard, and cars….on top of that I also manage all the finances (which will benefit me). Embarrassingly like a little bitch I also do most of the domestic work like laundry, dishes, meals, and cleaning. I have never seen a slob like her in all my life but I want to keep a clean house for my son.

I also realize doing all the domestic work contributed to her losing respect for me despite good intentions on my part. She never attends any of my son’s school functions, parent/teacher meetings, volunteering, and medical appointments. All the other mom’s of his classmates joke they never knew my son had a mother…pretty much the truth. I never get a thank you for anything from her. On top of it all, I have an advanced degree and make quite a bit more than her.

My wife is so f~~~ing vain and it’s killing her now that her looks are fading. She is mixed ethnicity and was f~~~ing gorgeous when I met her and still looks pretty good for an older lady despite gaining a few pounds. Now I realize her looks are all that she brought to the table and her s~~~ty personality makes her so ugly to me. She also is a functioning alcoholic and drinks a bottle of wine almost every night. My fantasy is that some rich guy “steals” her away from me because she could still be a trophy wife to somebody.

My red pills:

• Her childhood friend divorced about 4 years ago and moved close to us.  My wife started going 4-5 nights/week instead of being with me and our child. I didn’t say much, because we never tried to control each other, but this was too much compared to me going to happy hour with co-workers one night/week.
• Two years ago I came down with a serious illness (30% fatality rate) and had to be admitted for 3 days. I ended up driving myself to the hospital and she visited me once for about 10 minutes over my stay. Interestingly this health scare was the 2nd best thing that ever happened to me (the birth of my son is the best thing). It opened my eyes about our marriage and most importantly made me realize how important my health is. I am in great shape now and
• My mother has severe dementia and is in hospice…she doesn’t have much time left. My wife never visits her or even asks me how she is doing. Even my friends and co-workers inquire every so often – this really p~~~es me off because my mother was always so kind and welcoming since the first time she met my wife.

Going my own way

• I am pleasant and respectful to her but could care less if I upset her. I don’t engage in her rant sessions and try to pacify her like I used to. Basically I don’t give a f~~~ about her feelings because she never cared about mine.
• Most upsetting to her is that I have completely ceased trying to have any type of sexual activity with her.  This forum has taught me in her head sex is what she controlled me with. This is seriously f~~~ing (pun intended) f~~~ing with her head…she thinks it’s because of her age and weight gain. I just tell her it feels like my libido has decreased.
• The past few months I have lost over 20 lbs thanks to a low carb diet and feel great about myself. I haven’t weighed 180 lbs and had a 33-inch waist in over 15 years. She doesn’t like this one bit and says I’m too skinny now and look bad. Last week she drunkenly admitted she doesn’t want to be the fat wife seen with the thin husband. Haha tables have turned bitch
• I go out with my three good friends anytime I want but limit it to about twice a week because of my son. They are great guys around my age and pretty much MGTOW without knowing it. They are professionals and good looking but have never been married or had kids. Instead of traditional dating they have a “bull pen” of a few ladies to have casual hook ups with.
• I don’t have any toys like motorcycles, a boat, or a sports car, etc. I don’t spend very much money on myself when it comes to clothes and entertainment. However my one passion is traveling, especially to Asia. There have been family trips and solo trips to places like Vietnam, Malaysia, Vietnam, Indonesia, Korea, Cambodia, and Thailand. As mentioned earlier, one positive about our marriage was that we didn’t try to control each other and I could take some solo trips (2 weeks max) which gave me a huge sense of freedom taking a short break from carrying the entire load at home on top of work. I have 10-day trip planned to Laos in June and for the first time she is busting my b~~~~ over taking a solo trip.  I know this is due to her low self esteem and she is nagging me almost daily. I can tell she wants me to cancel but no f~~~ing way in hell that happens…I need this getaway for my sanity. I have finally learned to put my needs first over hers and how good it feels! I am back in control and she just needs to deal with it.
• Coming to the realization that I will be a great father no matter what happens in my marriage. I will never get married again nor get into a serious relationship…all my focus will be on myself and my son.

 

Anyway sorry to ramble…I never intended to write such a long introduction but hopefully that gives some insight to my situation. I have already been stashing cash away but will need more advice/input on how to prepare for my impending freedom and be posting questions in the appropriate forums. Thanks for reading!

 

 

[a bananaParticipant 288]

i didnt read all of it, but welcome man!
as for your escape, sooner than later bruh, s~~~ sounds serious ;p

i suggest you start moving  your money somewhere she cant get at it

peace bro.

[DoinMyOwnThing40Participant 1000]

I think that looks is the only thing that any woman can bring to the table. Looks is why we fall in love with these women in the first place. Then the looks fade and we are left with someone who provides absolutely no value to us.

Welcome to MGTOW.

Women are parasites. Each and every last one of them.

[Anonymous 42]

Gynocentrism is exactly what you described, I clean my own home, and keep it organized, I couldn’t imaging cleaning up after a woman, I’d sweep her off her feet, and into the garbage barrel. That’s what I’d do….But anyway, Welcome to MGTOW your freedom awaits you.

P.S. there’s no such thing as a trophy wife!

Only trophy blue-pill husbands, a slave to better a woman’s life…

 

[experiencedParticipant]

Great intro. Sounds like you’ve got a handle on things. You could easily be a comedian, ” I forced myself to eat her out a few months ago and discovered her pussy now stinks.” Something in the rhythm!  Like,”Last week she drunkenly admitted she doesn’t want to be the fat wife seen with the thin husband. Haha tables have turned bitch.”  Note her wording “seen” with the thin husband – – as though it’s acceptable otherwise. Caring more about strangers’ opinions than yours.

If a guy announces, I’ve decided to work half the amount I used to…why that jerk, yet laydeeez everywhere honor their spouses by doubling in size. And this is defended by laydeez all, saying, well, she must have been unhappy. IMO snuggling up to a walrus is exactly the same as sex deprivation, how can one eff a walrus?

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[Chuck WowParticipant 141]

Thanks guys for the replies so far…it feels good to vent to people that understand. Looking forward to pick up valuable insight and perspective from everyone here

[Jackson1888Participant 111]

I couldn’t read beyond the first paragraph where it talked about him performing Oral Sex on his wife. Definitely not MGTOW behavior. I recommend he be banned!

Just kidding.

Here’s the part that really gets to me though:

Married for almost 20 years and we are both in our mid-40s and have a wonderful 14-year old son. I can’t remember the last time we had sex or had any type of intimacy but I don’t miss it at all to be honest. Like most women my wife is extremely selfish, including in the bedroom. I would be lucky to get 1 or 2 BJs a year but when we used to regularly have sex I would go down on her almost every time until she had an orgasm before intercourse. Makes me sick thinking about doing that now. Every single time I was the one initiating sex and finally just got tired of trying and making all the effort. I forced myself to eat her out a few months ago and discovered her pussy now stinks. She always used to have great feminine hygiene and I am too much of a nice guy to tell her about it.

 

I don’t know what it is but the smell of a stinking pussy is enough to make me want to vomit. The stench of a pussy is one of the main reason’s I am MGTOW!

(You know why your wife’s pussy stinks now? Because she probably had 20 DICKS INSIDE HER PUSSY THE NIGHT BEFORE YOU ATE IT OUT)

[LiveFreeParticipant 172]

My fantasy is that some rich guy “steals” her away from me because she could still be a trophy wife to somebody.

That’s both funny and sad at the same time. Good luck with your escape.

 

For every man truly going his own way, some woman, somewhere, has to pay her own way through life.

[DeepInThoughtParticipant 2710]

Jackson1888 wrote:

I couldn’t read beyond the first paragraph where it talked about him performing Oral Sex on his wife. Definitely not MGTOW behavior. I recommend he be banned! Just kidding. Here’s the part that really gets to me though: Married for almost 20 years and we are both in our mid-40s and have a wonderful 14-year old son. I can’t remember the last time we had sex or had any type of intimacy but I don’t miss it at all to be honest. Like most women my wife is extremely selfish, including in the bedroom. I would be lucky to get 1 or 2 BJs a year but when we used to regularly have sex I would go down on her almost every time until she had an orgasm before intercourse. Makes me sick thinking about doing that now. Every single time I was the one initiating sex and finally just got tired of trying and making all the effort. I forced myself to eat her out a few months ago and discovered her pussy now stinks. She always used to have great feminine hygiene and I am too much of a nice guy to tell her about it. I don’t know what it is but the smell of a stinking pussy is enough to make me want to vomit. The stench of a pussy is one of the main reason’s I am MGTOW! (You know why your wife’s pussy stinks now? Because she probably had 20 DICKS INSIDE HER PUSSY THE NIGHT BEFORE YO, U ATE IT OUT)

 

her pussy stinks from bad hygeine, definitely banging on weight BUT most importantly because she is knocking over a bottle of wine every night. I bet that with her diet is overly acidic, hence smell.

[ExsliventxsParticipant 1067]

20 years — alimony because you make more than her.

14 year old son – 4 years of child support if you don’t win custody (don’t bet on it.)

She’ll probably get to keep the house.

You’re entrenched pretty deep there buddy. You can escape, and it’ll be completely worth it, but what’s your plan of escape?

You’re going to have to sever the dead weight and a good deal of money.

However, Freedom is priceless. Sex is nice too.

 

[RennieParticipant]

Jackson1888 wrote:

I don’t know what it is but the smell of a stinking pussy is enough to make me want to vomit. The stench of a pussy is one of the main reason’s I am MGTOW! (You know why your wife’s pussy stinks now? Because she probably had 20 DICKS INSIDE HER PUSSY THE NIGHT BEFORE YOU ATE IT OUT)

Yeah, that’s one of my reasons too, I don’t want to put up with that horrible smell. Makes me queasy just thinking about it.

[DeepInThoughtParticipant 2710]

Rennie wrote:

Jackson1888 wrote:

I don’t know what it is but the smell of a stinking pussy is enough to make me want to vomit. The stench of a pussy is one of the main reason’s I am MGTOW! (You know why your wife’s pussy stinks now? Because she probably had 20 DICKS INSIDE HER PUSSY THE NIGHT BEFORE YOU ATE IT OUT)

Yeah, that’s one of my reasons too, I don’t want to put up with that horrible smell. Makes me queasy just thinking about it.

i went down on a girl like this once, I smelt like a bag of prawns/shrimp that had gone off in the sun for a day or two. I nearly vomited and exited real quick. Even now that odour stains my memory.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Comedian Dane Cook once said: “I went down on a girl…. and I came straight back up. And then became disorientated for a few seconds – like in Mortal Combat, just before a fatality. It was like she washed her vagina…. with a dirtier vagina”.

In my day, I’ve smelled fishy c~~~s, skunky c~~~s, yeasty c~~~s, p~~~y c~~~s, sweaty c~~~s…too many c~~~s, probably. I’ve inhaled membrane-withering lungfuls of toxic t~~~fumes from vaginas that looked like rats dipped in Vaseline. I’ve borne witness to a stomach-pumping surfeit of swollen, bloody, scabby, mucus-spewing snatches. Too much oozing, malodorous c~~~ caviar, too many hairy hornet’s nests of chickstink. And yet the self-appointed voices of reason assure me that “once you get past the smell, you’ve got it licked.”

How the f~~~ do you get past the smell?

Ooh, that smell. The first thing you’re likely to sniff in this wretched life is a deep, sobbing lungful of your mother’s afterbirth, yet that memory is usually too distant and traumatic to ever have a hope of salvaging. But after one passes the Age of Reason, you aren’t likely to forget the full-frontal face-slap of a rancid pussy, even after extensive psychotherapy. And, if you’re like me, your first indelible whiff of it came via an older friend’s manual digit in the eternal tradition of “Hey, man, smell my finger.”

The older friend’s name was Mike. His girlfriend’s name was Carol. We all wore denim pants and denim jackets. Under a cold nighttime sky set aglow by an aggressively white moon, I sat atop a small concrete wall, waiting for Mike to kiss Carol goodnight. It took a while. He must have rounded first base and headed for third, for after bidding Carol adieu, Mike proudly marched over to me and held his f~~~-you finger an inch under my nostrils. Carol’s afterstench was a heady, almost inebriating snoutful of urine and sea bass. It was there, on that concrete wall, where I concluded that a woman’s vagina could be a place wherein considerable evil dwelt.

Not many years later, in a gesture of male nobility, I was able to proffer my own finger to a younger friend, encouraging him to nasally sample the mucosal femalia from a calamari-redolent Italian girl I’d diddled an hour or so earlier. I had indulged in “heavy petting” with the hairy-lipped wop lass outside her parents’ house in West Philly, dropped her off, and drove deep out into the suburbs-and then took a quick dip in my friend’s backyard pool-before I let him smell my finger. And yet it stank. Strongly.

But perhaps the worst pussy I ever had the displeasure of smelling was attached to an alarmingly overweight woman of Dutch extraction with whom I shacked up during a period when my self-esteem was dangerously low. Once you got past the rolls and rolls of stretchmarked hog fat, there lay her bedraggled pussy, crowned with a sparse reddish thorn bush. Her c~~~ looked like a fat slice of ham swimming in white gravy. Her crotch was a boiling fumarole of noxious emissions, a stinking puddle of snatch-slop. Her discharges were colored a sickly silver, with the gloppy consistency of herring sauce. The smells which emerged from between her bloated, floppy legs ranged from rotted onion to burnt crab to odors which were so fetid, I must force myself to stop thinking of them lest I scream.

---

@ChuckWow

A big welcome to the MGTOW Forums. You’re among friends.
Perhaps I should have said that first. (Big smile here.)

Thanks for joining and how to read more from you!

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[DeepInThoughtParticipant 2710]

@keymaster – bahahaha what a great read and laugh.

I indeed had a friend once, like yourself, who offered the lads a smell of his finger and the odour was sickening. I remember him washing his hands continuously and still the smell would not abate, so it was off to the garage for some petrol/gasoline to get rid of the smell…it didn’t! SO he had to use his other hand for the rest of the evening to drink his beer as the stench when he lifted his glass with the mentioned hand was too much.

[Anonymous 42]

That was gross! I feel like I’m on a beach full of old rotting whale carcasses. Thanks Key, your words really move me. <walking away> <doesn’t make it to the toilet> (Profusely vomiting).

[Anonymous 5]

We should all hold hands and sing Kumbayah for every gynaecologist who ever lived.

Welcome Chuck, great read, hope you enjoy your stay.

[RennieParticipant]

Keymaster wrote:

Comedian Dane Cook once said: “I went down on a girl…. and I came straight back up. And then became disorientated for a few seconds – like in Mortal Combat, just before a fatality. It was like she washed her vagina…. with a dirtier vagina”. In my day, I’ve smelled fishy c~~~s, skunky c~~~s, yeasty c~~~s, p~~~y c~~~s, sweaty c~~~s…too many c~~~s, probably. I’ve inhaled membrane-withering lungfuls of toxic t~~~fumes from vaginas that looked like rats dipped in Vaseline. I’ve borne witness to a stomach-pumping surfeit of swollen, bloody, scabby, mucus-spewing snatches. Too much oozing, malodorous c~~~ caviar, too many hairy hornet’s nests of chickstink. And yet the self-appointed voices of reason assure me that “once you get past the smell, you’ve got it licked.” How the f~~~ do you get past the smell? Ooh, that smell. The first thing you’re likely to sniff in this wretched life is a deep, sobbing lungful of your mother’s afterbirth, yet that memory is usually too distant and traumatic to ever have a hope of salvaging. But after one passes the Age of Reason, you aren’t likely to forget the full-frontal face-slap of a rancid pussy, even after extensive psychotherapy. And, if you’re like me, your first indelible whiff of it came via an older friend’s manual digit in the eternal tradition of “Hey, man, smell my finger.” The older friend’s name was Mike. His girlfriend’s name was Carol. We all wore denim pants and denim jackets. Under a cold nighttime sky set aglow by an aggressively white moon, I sat atop a small concrete wall, waiting for Mike to kiss Carol goodnight. It took a while. He must have rounded first base and headed for third, for after bidding Carol adieu, Mike proudly marched over to me and held his f~~~-you finger an inch under my nostrils. Carol’s afterstench was a heady, almost inebriating snoutful of urine and sea bass. It was there, on that concrete wall, where I concluded that a woman’s vagina could be a place wherein considerable evil dwelt. Not many years later, in a gesture of male nobility, I was able to proffer my own finger to a younger friend, encouraging him to nasally sample the mucosal femalia from a calamari-redolent Italian girl I’d diddled an hour or so earlier. I had indulged in “heavy petting” with the hairy-lipped wop lass outside her parents’ house in West Philly, dropped her off, and drove deep out into the suburbs-and then took a quick dip in my friend’s backyard pool-before I let him smell my finger. And yet it stank. Strongly. But perhaps the worst pussy I ever had the displeasure of smelling was attached to an alarmingly overweight woman of Dutch extraction with whom I shacked up during a period when my self-esteem was dangerously low. Once you got past the rolls and rolls of stretchmarked hog fat, there lay her bedraggled pussy, crowned with a sparse reddish thorn bush. Her c~~~ looked like a fat slice of ham swimming in white gravy. Her crotch was a boiling fumarole of noxious emissions, a stinking puddle of snatch-slop. Her discharges were colored a sickly silver, with the gloppy consistency of herring sauce. The smells which emerged from between her bloated, floppy legs ranged from rotted onion to burnt crab to odors which were so fetid, I must force myself to stop thinking of them lest I scream.

Ahhhhh Nooooo…

[RoyDalParticipant]

@rennie, an earlier and different thread induced me to look up Blue Waffles Disease. That is one I escaped getting on my tongue, thanks to my lucky stars, but certainly not my good sense at that time of my life.

By the way, Snopes.com says it’s a hoax. I am here to tell you all that there are plenty of other STI and STD that are not hoaxes.

Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

[Chuck WowParticipant 141]

Exsliventxs wrote:

20 years — alimony because you make more than her. 14 year old son – 4 years of child support if you don’t win custody (don’t bet on it.) She’ll probably get to keep the house. You’re entrenched pretty deep there buddy. You can escape, and it’ll be completely worth it, but what’s your plan of escape? You’re going to have to sever the dead weight and a good deal of money. However, Freedom is priceless. Sex is nice too.

Good summary of my situation and will need to plan every aspect carefully and fortunately there isn’t a need to move fast at this point. I hope things remain “status quo” (with me doing what I want) but I am aware things can turn nasty at any moment and hoarding cash for protection. Presently I am very happy and healthy and neither is dependent on my wife who has zero influence over my emotions and actions.  This makes her even more miserable. One more note about her is I doubt she would remain single very long because she hates being alone. Her looks are fading fast and she would try to snag another victim ASAP – from knowing her so well, money/security would be the primary reason.

My dream would be to handle the divorce like my sister did a few years back and settle out of court with her husband using a self-help legal service (inexpensive and quick). Basically she kept the house/equity and most possessions in exchange for him keeping his pension (at the company he worked for 30+ years) and not paying alimony to her. At the time they had a child of similar age to mine…visitation was agreed between themselves and instead of paying child support he provided everything (clothing, entertainment, club sports, etc) directly for my niece. They shared the same goal of not giving a chunk of their net worth to divorce attorneys and not letting the courts dictate how their child was taken care of. BTW, he has already remarried and in his third marriage – idiot.

I expect to be financially raped to pay for my freedom but this does not cause stress and would be worth it to remove a toxic person from my life. I try to look at the big picture and have never been materialistic or had money as the primary factor for any decision. I will be fine as long as I have my health and the basics. I never want to buy another house again either – too big of a commitment.

A major reason I travel to Asia frequently is to scout inexpensive retirement locations because a major goal of mine is to retire within 10 years. There are good options to live comfortably over there if my net worth is greatly reduced from divorce. Even on my travels I am content with $20-25/night rooms and eating street food or “hole-in-the wall” restaurants which make the trips quite affordable. Not seeing or hearing western women is a delight also…I don’t trust Asian women either but they are far superior in many ways.

Priorities for a retirement location are: safety, low cost of living, good medical care, warm climate, good food, reliable internet, visa requirements, golf/entertainment, easy transportation, and a network of ex-pats. So far Chiang Mai, Thailand and Pattaya, Thailand are my top two choices but I will keep looking also (especially Philippines). Maybe this would be a good topic to start in one of the other forums?

Thanks again for the support everyone…it really makes a difference.

 

[ExsliventxsParticipant 1067]

@chuck Wow

Did you see the part in the video where the guy was “so distraught over his marriage” that he gambled all the money that was unaccounted for? In reality it was just hidden in his brothers vault so the lawyers and ex couldn’t get their hands on it?

I felt that was pretty damn ingenious, definitely watch those videos. I was impressed, and I am not easily impressed.

Watch when you’re alone. I’ll link them. Watch both.

[Author]

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