Turned 37 yesterday, RP/MGTOW saving my life.

[HobbesandmathParticipant 9]

TLDR; 37 years as a White Knight, I maintain frame with an LTR’s ultimate s~~~ test, break up, find the Red Pill, and feel wonderful, thanks.

37.75 years ago, Vietnam vet dad and second wave feminist mom get stuck inside during a blizzard. 37 years ago yesterday, out squirts yours truly. It’s been a long road to getting to the Red Pill, and it’s saving my life. Here’s my story.

Mom was a young nurse, dad was a returned Vietnam vet working his way through law school. They met, got married, mom helped support him through law school. Then, as his career went forward, she didn’t appreciate the lack of involvement on the home front. She loses her s~~~ one night after dad tells her to shut the screaming 2-year old version of me the hell up while he’s trying to relax on the couch, and divorce ensues. Dad gets stuck with the usual child support routine, and I ended up being raised as a Blue Pill/White Knight when it comes to women, and was raised almost exclusively by women (mother, grandmother, aunts, etc.).

Problem is, I am Alpha in my head when it comes to almost everything else. The amount of cognitive dissonance this has caused me over the years is staggering, and I’m just now getting my head around it all. I wasn’t physically active, my intelligence translated into me being a bookwormy, soft sort, addicted to video games since I was 8, and largely ended up as a mess as I tried to balance my inner nature with what I had been programmed to believe and act.

My relationships with women have been staggeringly disastrous. I pull women to me as I initially come across as confident as f~~~ (“I thought you were arrogant as hell when I first met you…and I wanted to f~~~ your brains out” said a plate I never took the courage to spin), and then watch the relationships turn into such much pain and suffering as I shift from the initial Alpha behavior to Beta patterns. Regrettably, I never learned my lessons along the way.

One failed LTR when I was twenty-two actually pushed me hard into what I now recognize as TRP, but it ultimately didn’t stick. I gave myself a purpose, and enlisted in the United States Marine Corps. I lost 65 pounds to get in, and another 35 once in. I did well during my service, and my superiors pushed me into leadership roles as well as Instructor positions. And, like so many dumbf~~~ Marines, I ended up getting married.

Oh, what a mistake. Not only am I the idiot who tried to Blue Pill a marriage, but I selected the wrong women with not nearly enough examination of the situation. Want to know how stupid I was? Despite being a BLEEDING VICTIM of domestic violence, with her getting carted away in handcuffs, I proceeded to bail her out of jail, loaned her the money for Anger Management classes, and tried to save the trainwreck of a marriage. One problem of an Alpha mindset is I often do not know when to give up. Eventually, she filed for divorce. Then, despite me driving away from it all with nothing but what I could fit into my car and leaving her with all the furniture/etc. which we received in the marriage, she tries to get alimony, my GI bill, and savings bonds. Luckily, she neglected to TELL her divorce attorney about the domestic violence incident, and I don’t lose everything.

I move back home after the Corps. I try to start over. Get a HB 8 19 year old girlfriend when I’m 26, work full time, go to school in the evenings trying to better myself and obtain a real career. And then, proceed to f~~~ it up ALL over again with the Blue Pill, as I lose ambition and don’t maintain frame. See above about me not learning lessons.

Years go by of me floundering, turning into AFC. Though, if there’s one constant in my life, it’s that when I tap into my Alpha-ness, I end up doing great (especially when there is no poon to distract me). I regain my focus, I get myself back to school to finish my B.A., kick ass, am given much respect in my field, offered a graduate assistantship, etc…and also proceed to get involved with yet another crazy bitch.

So this is four years ago. We go into LTR mode, move in…and it’s not awesome, but f~~~, at least I’m not alone, and have pussy when I want it. I do, however, keep pushing myself and striving for a career. She says she doesn’t want kids, which is f~~~ing awesome to me, as I don’t want to raise them. But her not wanting kids is the tip of the Selfishness Iceberg with this woman; it is ALL about her.

Over the duration, I get my B.A. and my first Master’s, using my GI Bill to pay for it all. Meanwhile, my girlfriend has her parents pay for her degree and then does nothing with it, working a phone sales job making s~~~ for money. I knew I wanted to be a teacher, and in order to bypass the bulls~~~ education route, I get myself into an extremely prestigious national program that puts high performing college graduates into the classroom.

We move across country (take a guess who paid for the movers/expenses?). I start teaching, and am living the dream. Though…something is wrong. I’m working 70+ hour weeks as I teach AND work on my second Master’s. I keep the house from becoming completely filthy. I do any heavy chores, I do the cooking. I am responsible for Date Nights. She works a crappy office job that she got when she moved out here, complaining constantly, and never working overtime. She comes home every day, never seeking to have any social outlet or hobbies or friends. At one point she signs up for a sewing class, goes to one, and then quits because “the instructor didn’t seem helpful.” Her ‘cooking’ consists of making a pan of brownies and then devouring them. Her upper arms start to be bigger than my calves. I am my usual glutton for punishment and too stubborn to admit failure.

But there was something changing inside me. I kick ass at work. I let my Alpha self come out more and more, and work with disadvantaged youth at our school, pushing them and getting accolades as my students show high growth. I get promoted. I get a perfect score on my Master’s thesis and graduate with my second advanced degree that immediately translates into a raise. And I start looking at my situation….and the Red Pill begins to go down my throat.

I decide to buy a house, using what I saved from work and won from playing poker. However, as LTR girl has no ambition and no savings, I state that she is welcome to live there, but I will not buy the house with her, and will require a modicum of rent, at what I estimate is 20% less than her monthly living expenses.

She loses it, calling me selfish and trying to ‘profit’ off her, and that she will only pay ½ utilities (but I know none of her other behavior will change). I somehow maintain frame, and refuse to alter my position, because at this point my inner self KNOWS I’m being used as Beta Bucks (if not in that terminology yet).

I end it after her final tantrum, and end up once again at the end of a LTR staring at the wreckage wondering WTF just happened. I spend the summer trying to figure it out…and as I search the web for relationship info…I stumble upon /r/theredpill, and subsequently join MGTOW..

Why do my eyes hurt? Because I’ve been screwing them shut for the past thirty-seven years, and have only just begun to use them. The info and discussions I’ve read on The Red Pill and sites like MGTOW. have been essential to my sanity and regaining a sense of purpose. I’ve started to be physically active again, and am in initial training/physical rehab to get to lifting. I have a house that I own. I’m focused on my career as my primary purpose (You lose money chasing women, but never lose women chasing money), and am kicking more and more ass. I’ve begun working on lessening my addictions. I am self-examining and striving for self-improvement. I feel like TRP is giving me my sense of self back, and a touchstone from which to move forward from here.

So, thanks. It could have gone a different way. I could have gone back to her, wailing and pleading like the Beta I know I can be. But that’s not what’s going to happen, and I’m Going My Own Way now. And it’s going to be a great next thirty-seven years. Thank you.

[KeymasterKeymaster]

Ass-kicking intro, Hobbes, and wildly entertaining. It was thrice as profound. Two points ping-ed the loudest.

She loses it, calling me selfish and trying to ‘profit’ off her

Highly dangerous if a man falls for that one. Unless she’s paying 51% of ALL bills, she’s a loss across the board. Hand her pen and paper enthusiastically and have her illustrate how her minimal contribution (the difference being a GIFT from you) is some kind of “profit”. She will be drawing hamster portraits while you watch.

Problem is, I am Alpha in my head when it comes to almost everything else.

The myth that MGTOW are just a bunch of betas is just that – a myth. I am same to the core, and shudder at the “beta” behavior which emerged as a result of listening to women which I am forced to reflect on. When I was 17-21, Alpha mindset flowed naturally. They got away with nothing. Then at 28, like you, a HB9 19 year old fell on to my erection with seemingly zero effort, and I thought the gates of heaven had just opened. Unbeknownst to me, she was the demon from the first exorcism from the film “Constantine”, and the expulsion hollowed me out. A string of pre-21 year olds followed as it was easier than ever to nail them….. then a chance affair with a porn star (a very famous one) BEFORE she became a porn star was the kryptonite to my Superman. Pulled out of it nicely though and now master of my own destiny. Every one after that was easy to manage, and quick to disappoint. It’s never too late to get it back.

Thanks for your spectacular intro and for joining. It’s not TLDR in the least. What we value the most was your “saving my life” gratitude. It’s exactly why we are here. We literally set out to save lives. No exaggeration. I saw “purple hearts final beat” (google the video) and the hordes of shrieking females on THE TALK when they laughed at a man who had been dismembered by the women he couldn’t stand to live with anymore……. and the early concepts of MGTOW.com were born.

Even more personally felt that you’re a military man.

The firmest handshake – and rigid salute – in welcoming you.

… and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

If you keep doing what you've always done... you're gonna keep getting what you always got.

[AposematicParticipant 2671]

Great Post;Hobbesandmath, sounds like your Big head is commanding the little head these days.
The red pill analogy is spot on- it reframes every aspect of life once digested.
Great to hear you challenged the LTR to make COMPLETELY RATIONAL EQUITABLE if not GENEROUS contributions
to your home economy. Unsurprisingly her Hamster had an epileptic seizure. Why settle for a man cave
when you can be master of your castle? If you are fortunate enough to put a roof
over your head- why bother sharing it with a XX that could run with half of it at any
time?

My Real eye opening Stat is MGTOW being comfortable on 30% of what a Blue piller has to make
to keep the local mall in business. Time=Money and having to earn less money gives you
time to do what you value, and not keep a vacuous XX “Happy”.

Afinogyny.. from the Greek Afino {to abandon/ to set down/ to leave /to allow/ to let } + Gyny {Women} MGHOW’s philosophy to not engage women without “hating them”. Narcorca =Narcissistic Orca typically spouting to a bathroom mirror taking an arms length selfie ; Wallinate describes post wall females whose SMV is terminally negligible New Years resolution "To not make women happy" . Instadestitue: yet another Neologism for Men that cohabit with women that decide to pull the handle of intervention orders.

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