Time to own my release of Blue Pill

[GeraldParticipant 3620]

Hi Guys,

I have been here for a couple of months, and find the insight and thoughts expressed here to be very valuable. Last night something rather dramatic in my relations~~~ happened, and it is time I own up and get things moving my own way. Thus, in an effort to do so, and to hold myself accountable for doing so, the only way I know to do that is to post what I need to do and be held accountable for it. I won’t be perfect, and I won’t try to be (lie, I always try to be perfect) and I am sure I will have failures along the way. But this is my attempt at holding myself accountable, since I don’t dare journal at the house.

That being said, Today is now day 1.

By day 7, I expect to accomplish the following:
* Begin stashing cash. It will be small, but making it look like I am taking out spending money is the easiest and most effective starting method. Reducing my daily spend as well will allow me to grow that.
* Schedule a consultation with a lawyer to discuss what my options are due to local law
* Stop stalking facebook. I will work to not open the app more than once per day (this is a major reduction for me) – I have already removed the app from my phone.
* Apply for at least 5 new jobs, working to fix the stress of my current position
* On days not working my second job, begin some basic strength training
* Finish the read through of Fight Club and finish the Way of Men by Donovan

I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself, but that is the start for the next week. Suggestions are gladly welcomed and I hope you don’t mind me keeping record of this here. If this is the wrong forum, I can gladly move it. Or if this is not appropriate, will gladly take it down. I respect you guys and your opinions, have learned a lot (I think at least) and don’t want to let myself off the hook.

No longer can we walk away, we must run. Remove the motive power.

[BlacqueJacqueShellacqueParticipant 6890]

Gerald, your steps look realistically achievable. I too need to be looking for more work and to begin strength/health training. Best of luck man, keep us posted.

[Anonymous 16]

looks good to me.
but get face ufck down to once a week or less.

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

Getting started is the hardest part.

What are some of your end goals?

Peace brothers

[Dirtydog73Participant 232]

Great goal setting bud.
Keep to your plan and review it several times to ensure you are on track.

Hang in there

Fed, Fucked, Appreciated. The three simple things men want, but women will never grasp.

[GeraldParticipant 3620]

DorkShit wrote:

Getting started is the hardest part.

What are some of your end goals?

End goals:
* insure my daughter is taken care of, whether that means college or otherwise, which is coming very quickly
* Go my own way, be it divorce or separation, to get away from the crazy
* come out of it as unscathed as possible, for as short as possible… due to circumstances that probably means alimony for a few years possibly longer, but hoping to minimize it, as well as be able to at least minimally live on my own
* Peace

No longer can we walk away, we must run. Remove the motive power.

[DorkShitParticipant 4353]

Ah, the old peace and serenity goal. Know it well. Peace of mind is always a worthy objective.

Sounds like you have your foundation set.

Peace brothers

[GeraldParticipant 3620]

Also just found markmanson.net and have been voraciously reading there, want to get through a fair portion of that this week, so far like his thought patterns and such…

No longer can we walk away, we must run. Remove the motive power.

[GeraldParticipant 3620]

Finished Fight Club, one down. Held Facebook to open once yesterday. Removed it from my phone so I won’t be tempted to look at it.

No longer can we walk away, we must run. Remove the motive power.

[NeroParticipant 1466]

Gerald wrote:

Finished Fight Club, one down. Held Facebook to open once yesterday. Removed it from my phone so I won’t be tempted to look at it.

I’m curious, what is your fascination with FB? What are you using it for that you feel the need to remove yourself?

[GeraldParticipant 3620]

Nero wrote:

Gerald wrote:

Finished Fight Club, one down. Held Facebook to open once yesterday. Removed it from my phone so I won’t be tempted to look at it.

I’m curious, what is your fascination with FB? What are you using it for that you feel the need to remove yourself?

I use FB for a couple of things. And writing this will probably make them seem irrelevant. I use it to keep check on what my friends back home are doing, what witty things they have posted, and then to honestly see what she has been up to. I also use it for validation that I’m still funny and relevant, I suppose.

So, no good reason.

It is essentially a huge time suck. I should be using the time more productively.

No longer can we walk away, we must run. Remove the motive power.

[bladeParticipant]

Something i have noticed threw observation of brake ups after the first six months of a brake up bitches switch into c~~~ mode.Seen this happen to a few blokes.

THE PLANTATION HAS NOW TURNED INTO THE KILLING FIELDS . WOMAN ARE NOW ROLLING CAMBODIAN STYLE .

[Anonymous 42]

Gerald, whatever you decide, the most important thing to do is follow it through, more than just telling them NO, you need to first have the ability to tell yourself NO!

No means absolutly s~~~ when it’s subverted with maybe, perhaps, and eventually “yea, OK”.

Hold onto the N like a set of handlebars, stick your feet through the O, and hang on tight doing 120 full throttle!

Learn NO

Live NO

Be NO

And LOVE NO!

No will save your life someday, just wait and see…..

[GeraldParticipant 3620]

Thought I would stop back on this thread and provide an update since I have been mostly lurking.

I have done better the past two weeks. I have not succeeded to put any of the issues truly to bed, except for the job search. I have been applying like crazy and interviewing for new positions, which has helped.

I have lightened my visits to Facebook to maybe twice a day. That has helped relieve some of the validation stress I have been seeking.

I am dealing with some ankle pain, so have avoided the gym… Likely this is an excuse for procrastinating.

As towards the relations~~~, I have walked out twice this past week when s~~~ tested. Once she followed up with a more severe s~~~ test and I called her bluff, which essentially validated me but didn’t help matters.

I did seek a lawyer, found none in my area who do free initial conversations, all want some cash up front. Going to have to hoard some. I haven’t stashed cash outside of regular accounts, working to pay some things down to make a little room for that.

Anyway.. This week. Working to eat less expensively, continue the full bore job search and strategize. Reading still, and I need to finish the way of men this week. Can’t let being tired be an excuse.

It is a marathon not a sprint, I will keep working to improve. Thanks all for the ongoing advice!

No longer can we walk away, we must run. Remove the motive power.

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