I am a 64 year old self-described “Vietnam Era” male. I graduated from high school in 1969 near the height of the war which more or less defined my social and political views. I came from a low income family and ripe for the draft. However, since my father died while on active duty in the service, I was given a IV-A deferment. Unfortunately, I had several friends who were drafted, some who never came back. It left a very bitter taste in my mouth because concurrently, the feminist movement was gaining traction which has evolved into the situation it is today. I earned a doctorate in healthcare and worked in private practice and for the State of Texas in the ’80s. During my tenure with the Texas Department of Criminal Justice a wave of “sexual harassment” charges and suites began to surface. In 1989, myself and 3 other colleagues were charged by our mostly female subordinate staff with sexual harassment. The charges were very vague but included inappropriate touching, telling jokes with sexual content, and job discrimination based on gender. We had to go before an administrative board and eventhough I was found “not guilty,” it tarnished my career and I eventually resigned. I had been married for about 6 years and at the time my wife was very supportive of me. In 2009, I had a critical illness which affected my marriage financially, psychologically, and emotionally. My wife was getting a lot of pressure at her job because I required intensive hospital care and then home care while I recuperated. As a result, I took medical retirement and have spent most of my time at our lake house which was in dire need of repairs and a place where I could find some peace, solitude, and enjoy my hobbies which include fishing, hunting, water sports, hiking, or just piddling around the house and yard. Since I had been working in the area since 2001, I would stay at the lake during the work week and come home on the weekends. What I began to notice at our primary residence was disturbing however. Over time, the house became increasingly cluttered with her “stuff.” A lot of it was seasonal decorations, but combining that with her work clothing, shoes, toiletries, etc., she had taken over the bedroom, master bath, sitting room, living room, kitchen, and guest bedroom. I am pretty much relegated now to a small office with my belongings with the rest of my things at the other house. We recently discussed the reality that I will not be able to stay at the lake house forever, due to health concerns and other issues. I am already making efforts to make the lake house salable by getting rid of items that I do not use, but getting her to make room for me at our primary residence has been like trying to baptize a cat. At work, she has moved up the corporate ladder in the largest privately owned real estate management and development company in Houston. She is very active in her church and several professional associations. Over the past 3 years, between the demands of her job and other commitments, she is showing signs of chronic fatigue and stress. It has begun to significantly affect our marriage of 34 years. I understood that young men are facing difficulties in the workplace and also noticed the increasing misandry in the media and among a spreading cross section of women, especially those 18-26. To better understand what is happening and how it seemed to be impacting my own relationship, I found MGTOW. I discussed the ideology behind the phenomenon with my wife as a matter of casual conversation and got a reaction from her that was totally unexpected. Her reaction could be best described as indignation, as if my interest in MGTOW was an attack on her. The problem is, she did not even bother as far as I know, to research the subject. If she did, it was cursory and through the lens of anger. It seems to me like a double standard. Women are supposed to realize their potential by engaging in whatever social groups and associations that empower them, but if a man attempts to do the same thing, he is labeled as being radicalized at best or a misogynist at worse, in the case of MGTOW. Right now we are going through some self help exercises. She found something by Rick Warren who is pastor of the Saddlebrook mega-church which is basically Christian based counseling. However, the way it was coming across to me, was like gratuitous affirmation. Although I was raised and active in the Catholic church when I was younger, I have gravitated toward agnosticism as my theological believe system. I suggested a secular book and audio CD to her “How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About it,” by Dr. Patricia Snow. Her thesis is based in large part on evolutionary biology and how men and women see and react to the world due to the way our brains are structured. Her belief is that trying to “talk” over marital problems is an exercise in futility and may actually make a bad situation worse. Her program put heavy emphasis on ACTIONS, not words, as the best way to get through a marital impasse. I will keep the group updated as things progress. In closing, I am a firm believer that the USA is in a financial and social mess and that geopolitics and the economy will define the next ten years. It could be as problematic as the inflation of the ’70s and 20% interest rates of the ’80s, all the way to a total economic collapse which will turn the USA into the next Yugoslavia or Syria. Most Americans believe that such a scenario is impossible. The fact is, that it has already happened here during the great depression and the near financial collapse of 2008 which is still weighing on the economy. We could see massive unemployment especially among young and older women, with single women with children being the hardest hit. If these events unfold as I expect, it will be a social game changer where we will all be struggling to satisfy our basic needs such as food, medicine, personal safety and security. All of the political and social distractions we are now preoccupied with will become less meaningful as we struggle just to survive.
Truthseeker82 4 years, 2 months ago.
