This woman. Needs some feedback.

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This topic contains 21 replies, has 20 voices, and was last updated by BrainPilot  BrainPilot 4 years, 7 months ago.

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  • #80236
    +1

    Anonymous
    18

    I was on a steptalk forum (just because I enjoy some men whining about marrying women with kids, I was close once. Good to read about what I missed out on … not). And I found this particular lady’s post. I have bolded sections for a quicker read.

    It goes to highlight some women are very stupid about men’s choices (I feel confused because I always thought women towards their 30s stop dating alpha thugs and start going for stable provider types). I would like a picture of her to make up my mind. Also, how many women will jump on a guy for expressing his desire not to marry a single mother because of the kids. Here goes:

    ———————————–

    I’m a long time lurker but I just made an account to say THANK YOU for all of the marvelous advice and support given on this forum. I am a 28 year old woman, childless by choice, I may or may not want kids of my own one day, I haven’t really decided. Earlier this year I started dating a man who is incarcerated (don’t ask) and I felt he was absolutely perfect for me- except for the fact that he has a 16 year old daughter. I know I have jealousy and insecurity issues and it just didn’t feel right that I could give this man my all and make him the most important person in my life, and yet I would never be able to hold that position in his life. Call me selfish but you know what, I think that’s okay, because at least I have the self-awareness to acknowledge that it didn’t feel right. I tried for two months to get over the fact that he has a daughter but I just couldn’t. When I imagined that type of life I wanted for myself and the type of family I’d like to have one day, “blended” does not come into the mix.

    He has always known that I’ve struggled with him having a kid, but he thought I would get over it. Now I know I can’t. This girl is simply horrible and if I ever had a child with him I would NEVER want her anywhere near my kid, half-sister or not. She parties all the time, cuts school, tell her mother she hates her, is rude and disrespectful to everyone, and has a drug problem. I have actually found videos she’s posted online of her smoking a bong. Did I mention she’s just 16? And when I brought this to her father’s attention so he can talk to her mother about getting these videos taken down, somehow I am the bad guy. Really? I can’t.

    Two days ago I ended things with him. I feel really bad about it because he is honestly a wonderful person and the only problem in our relationship was my feelings over his daughter. From everything I’ve read here it only gets worse and I felt it wasn’t fair to either of us to continue things. He deserves to have a woman who can genuinely and truly respect and accept all of the relationships he has in his life including his child, and I deserve to live a life in which I don’t have to settle or compromise on such a huge issue. He is not happy about it, he thinks I am overreacting. He tells me she’ll be 17 when he comes home next year so she’s practically a grown-up and it shouldn’t affect us. He never had a relationship with her due to his incarceration (he didn’t even know she was his until she was 5 and the courts mandated a DNA test) so they probably won’t be close anyway, because they aren’t close now. He says she won’t be a part of *our* life, just his life, but I feel that if we are together that becomes one in the same. She’s clearly having issues living with her mother, what if when her Dad is released (we had planned on him moving in with me) she wants to try living with him? I will NOT allow this disrespectful little girl in my home as I truly want nothing to do with her, so he’d probably leave me over that, anyway. Why delay the inevitable?

    He has told me that her mother is not a good influence on her (she’s a former convict and meth addict herself) so maybe I can be the one who turns his daughter around. HELL NO. That is NOT my responsibility. I was responsible enough to keep my damn legs shut and not get knocked up by someone I only knew for three months, why should I have to invest the time, money, and emotional energy to raise a kid who isn’t mine? When he suggested that I can be the person to give his daughter a good role model I basically flipped my s~~~- she’s not my problem, and how dare he want me to take this burden on when he knows how I feel about the situation? So we’re done. It hurts because I truly do love him, but I do think ending things now really is for the best, for all three of us involved.

    Of course now I am starting to second-guess my decision to end things. He told me I am being selfish and irrational- and I don’t disagree with him, but these are my feelings and try as I did, I can’t change them. He told me he’s never before met someone who feels so adamantly against step-parenthood, and that if I really love him I should love everything that is of him including her, and I am basically a horrible human being for not being able to accept that he has a teenage (almost adult) child. So am I wrong? I don’t *want* to feel this way about her, honestly I don’t, it makes me feel terrible about myself, but I truly hate her. I hate who she is as a person, and I also hate that she holds a part of his heart that I nor my potential future children can ever have. He’s told me that if he and I ever have a baby (he wants a kid with me, I hadn’t made up my mind) that he would probably love our child more than he loves her because he never got to be a dad to her, but he could actually be a father to our baby. Hearing him say that absolutely disgusts me.

    So please give me your honest feedback- was I wrong for ending things with him? Is there a way to work past my feelings about her and salvage things with him? Am I some kind of monster for not being able to accept his kid? He’s made me feel like my feelings are atypical but coming on here I know they are not; is there anything I can say to him to explain to him that my feelings ARE valid? Are they valid?

    ————————-

    Original post: http://www.steptalk.org/node/113987

    A man incarcerated for at least 12 years (likely more) is not as much as an issue as his daughter. SMH.

    #80257
    +7
    RoyDal
    RoyDal
    Participant

    Ever wonder why the Evil Stepmother is such a big feature in fairy tales? That’s why!

    Society asks MGTOWs: Why are you not making more tax-slaves?

    #80260
    Elgos_Grim
    Elgos_Grim
    Participant
    254

    Someone needs to go over there and tell her SHE IS COMPLETELY RIGHT TO DO THAT, not because she is, but to save all parties involved an extreme amount of pain at her hands.

    #80267
    +5

    Anonymous
    18

    “I hate who she is as a person, and I also hate that she holds a part of his heart that I nor my potential future children can ever have

    It would be funny if men weren’t subjected to women’s selfish nature under the spell of ‘love’.

    A single mother I was in love with told me why she would never date a single father. I called out on it and in the end it was … because I don’t want his biological kids to feel less loved, now that he has my kids to raise and love too.

    S~~~ women spin man. Round’n’Round.

    #80269
    +8

    Anonymous
    25

    My feelings, my feelings, my feelings blah blah blah.

    If she wants honest feedback here it is, learn to care about someone else’s feelings other than your own. That’s pretty much the problem with your whole gender, rampant narcissism and self interest.

     

    #80273
    +9
    ILiveAgain
    ILiveAgain
    Participant

    All very nice words guys ….. very …. not quite hitting the mark. Don’t get me wrong …. what you’re all saying is correct but a little … um … long winded.

    So having said that, I will give you my summary of this….. ahem …. woman

    C~~~

    Thanks for you attention 😆

    #80276
    +3
    Beer
    Beer
    Participant
    11832

    I liked how her love interest was seemingly a long term convict.  Priceless.

    #80283

    Anonymous
    18

    Another one:

    ———————–
    My ex-wife married a sex offender (at the prison), and she plans on having him live with our kids when he is released later this year

    Sadly, in my home state of Tennessee, a man guilty of molesting a girl as young as 13 can live with minor children!

    I’ve been trying to pursue things in the domestic court, but there has been nothing but one delay after another.

    Dave

    ——————-
    http://www.steptalk.org/node/214916

    #80291
    +3
    IGMOW (I Go My Own Way)
    IGMOW (I Go My Own Way)
    Participant
    2572

    I liked how her love interest was seemingly a long term convict. Priceless.

    And she felt he was perfect for her, outside of having a kid?  There is SO many ways I can go with that.  I don’t really want too bother.

    "I am my own thang. Any questions?" - Davis S Pumpkins.

    #80297
    +1

    Anonymous
    1

    My ex-wife married a sex offender (at the prison), and she plans on having him live with our kids when he is released later this year.

    Sadly, in my home state of Tennessee, a man guilty of molesting a girl as young as 13 can live with minor children! I’ve been trying to pursue things in the domestic court, but there has been nothing but one delay after another.

    Dave

    Women are retarded… How can they not see that this is a really REALLY bad idea?

    #80306
    +3
    BD
    BD
    Participant
    1146

    Earlier this year I started dating a man who is incarcerated (don’t ask)

    Pffffffft, really?

    Yeah I don’t even need to ask, you’re absolutely ridiculous.

    Are you bored? Do you lack drama? Do you just like mindf~~~ing some guy who is locked up? Is there any point in all of this?

    Because in order to be able to think, you have to risk being offensive.

    #80326
    +1
    Bee
    Bee
    Participant
    700

    Pffffffft, really? Yeah I don’t even need to ask, you’re absolutely ridiculous. Are you bored? Do you lack drama? Do you just like mindf~~~ing some guy who is locked up? Is there any point in all of this?

    She’s probably very fat and emotionally broken. She probably thinks she can fix this guy. Some women love a fixer upper – men, pit bulls, kids from Africa….

    For me, I have no interest in a fixer upper at all. In fact, she needs to bring a lot more than poon to the party. A decent steady job / business, no personality disorders, manageable debt and taxes current….. I know. I’m picky.

    #80376
    +4
    Robert Hallam
    Robert Hallam
    Participant
    696

    This woman’s posting doesn’t deserve a response. She’s an idiot.

    #80387
    +1

    Anonymous
    11

    Never trust a hybristophile. They have issues that cannot be handled. Plus, when Rocco gets let out the big house he’ll be looking for your ass.

    #80417
    +2
    Felix
    felix
    Participant
    406

    Never trust a hybristophile.

    hybristophile… had to look that one up… it’s kinda like when people show up at train wrecks.

    more throttle ..... less brakes.....

    #80431
    +2
    Lord Vats
    Lord Vats
    Participant
    379

    What surprises me most is the f~~~ing hypocrisy. She doesn’t want a step child yet if she was a single mother, she’d all “men who don’t date single mothers are cowards”.

    She’s clearly having issues living with her mother, what if when her Dad is released (we had planned on him moving in with me) she wants to try living with him? I will NOT allow this disrespectful little girl in my home as I truly want nothing to do with her.

    Oh! sure. When a man has a child you won’t allow her in your home, but if you had a child, the man would be lynched for saying something like that.

    When I imagined that type of life I wanted for myself and the type of family I’d like to have one day, “blended” does not come into the mix.

    “Blended” huh? If she had a child and married another man, the family wouldn’t be so “blended” eh?

    I was responsible enough to keep my damn legs shut and not get knocked up by someone I only knew for three months, why should I have to invest the time, money, and emotional energy to raise a kid who isn’t mine?

    We all know how much energy women spent raising a child. Still, the girl in question is practically adult. She’ll have to parent her for 3 more years, at the most. She wouldn’t spend time, money (laughing as I type), and emotional energy to “raise” child that isn’t her but would expect a man to do otherwise (or else he’s a coward). The f~~~ing hypocrisy, I’ll die of it someday.

    #80523
    +2
    Mango Ingaway
    Mango Ingaway
    Participant
    2264

    I am a 28 year old woman, childless by choice

    “by choice”
    Suuuuuuuure, honey.

    Earlier this year I started dating a man who is incarcerated (don’t ask)

    Yeah, better not bring up your stupid life choices.

    and I felt he was absolutely perfect for me- except for the fact that he has a 16 year old daughter.

    “There can only be one spoilt bitch in this town, Gringo.”

    Call me selfish but you know what, I think that’s okay, because at least I have the self-awareness to acknowledge that it didn’t feel right.

    “I’m a c~~~, but I know I’m a c~~~, so it’s okay.”

    Now I know I can’t. This girl is simply horrible and if I ever had a child with him I would NEVER want her anywhere near my kid, half-sister or not. She parties all the time, cuts school, tell her mother she hates her, is rude and disrespectful to everyone, and has a drug problem.

    Don’t date convicts, and maybe you’ll find men with kids who are educated a bit better than this. But I guess honest men don’t give her the ‘Gina Tingles /kek

    Two days ago I ended things with him. I feel really bad about it because he is honestly a wonderful person and the only problem in our relationship was my feelings over his daughter.

    “Wonderful person” : is a convict and raised his children like s~~~.
    I’d say I don’t understand, but there’s nothing to understand:  this is simply plain retardation from her side.
    Women definitely have some weird-ass standards.

    I deserve to live a life in which I don’t have to settle or compromise on such a huge issue.

    “I deserve, I deserve, blah blah, me me me, blah blah.”
    Well, I’ll tell you what, sweetheart, maybe actually you’re just a stupid c~~~ with an entitlement problem, and actually you ain’t worth s~~~.
    Just my 2 cents.

    He never had a relationship with her due to his incarceration (he didn’t even know she was his until she was 5 and the courts mandated a DNA test) so they probably won’t be close anyway, because they aren’t close now.

    If they aren’t close, how is she such a problem? You’d assume you wouldn’t have to deal with her all that much, since they’re not close.
    Eh, whatever, not gonna expect logic from this trash.

    I will NOT allow this disrespectful little girl in my home as I truly want nothing to do with her, so he’d probably leave me over that, anyway.

    “My home”
    I have some doubts about that.
    If it’s not gonna work, then leave him and shut the f~~~ up, instead of throwing some ridiculous rant/ pity party on the internet.
    Muh drama. Muh ‘Gina Tingles from deh drama

    I was responsible enough to keep my damn legs shut and not get knocked up by someone I only knew for three months

    Honey, you’re so classy, simply not being as trashy as the other skanks makes you proud.
    Modern women: a pleasure to behold.

    why should I have to invest the time, money, and emotional energy to raise a kid who isn’t mine?

    I guess you know how a lot of divorced men feel, now. /kek
    Also, you could have just understood why men flee single mothers. /kek

    When he suggested that I can be the person to give his daughter a good role model I basically flipped my s~~~- she’s not my problem

    Well get out of his life and quit whining then, ya moron.

    Of course now I am starting to second-guess my decision to end things.

    Gee, grow a spine and leave, already. The self-pity is off the charts.

    He told me I am being selfish and irrational- and I don’t disagree with him, but these are my feelings and try as I did, I can’t change them.

    So you know you’re irrational, but we just have to accept your lack of rationality because muh feelz.
    Very mature. /kek

    I truly hate her. I hate who she is as a person, and I also hate that she holds a part of his heart that I nor my potential future children can ever have.

    my potential future children can ever have.

    /kek
    Ten lines ago, remember guys, she was “childless by choice”.
    Spin, spin little hamster wheel, spin!

    he could actually be a father to our baby. Hearing him say that absolutely disgusts me.

    So you say he’s a wonderful human being, and that you love him ho so much, but 30 seconds later you claim that the idea of him being the father of your children disgusts you.
    My dear, it’s time to get your s~~~ straight.

    So please give me your honest feedback

    Come on, we all know you just want random people on the web to agree with you.
    Nearly every time you’re honest with a woman, you get crap for it.

    was I wrong for ending things with him? Is there a way to work past my feelings about her and salvage things with him?

    There’s a way to work past your feelings, it’s called growing the f~~~ up.
    It works wonders, I heard.

    Am I some kind of monster for not being able to accept his kid?

    Who gives a f*ck?

    He’s made me feel like my feelings are atypical but coming on here I know they are not

    So you pretend to want honest advice, while this goes to show that you came here to get people who think like you to agree with you.

    is there anything I can say to him to explain to him that my feelings ARE valid? Are they valid?

    Once again, “Are muh feelz valid?” while 2 secs earlier you said they were.
    Once more: lady, get your s~~~ straight.

    Took a while to comment this, but this will be my red pill for the week, so well worth it 😀

    It is a common failing of childhood to think that if one makes a hero out of a demon the demon will be satisfied.

    #80536
    +2
    FullMetalExo
    FullMetalExo
    Participant
    2383

    So having said that, I will give you my summary of this….. ahem …. woman C~~~

    Le C~~~, Monsieur !

    -----------

    #80553
    +2
    Aeragoan
    aeragoan
    Participant
    1186

    Dude,I GOT A HEADACHE after reading this f~~~ed up rant of this women..

    #80608
    +3
    Endwatcher
    Endwatcher
    Participant
    81

    Haha, Remember my post on step talk about “so much bs”

     

    Still working on it 😉

     

    Ive seen all these posts, most of them about the step parent I do feel bad about..STEP KIDS SUCK TO THE 5TH DEGREE!

    I was one of those stupid suckers that took the bait few years back, and working on spitting the bait out if you catch my drift.

     

    Ill add it to my intro when a mustard up some lazy time to write a freaking novel. haha

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