Just to save some of my brothers from unnecessary reading and or interpreting, I have taken the liberty of editing and translating the article for ease of access and understanding. First will be each original statement/anecdote in bold, followed by a proper, bracketed, mgtow-friendly translation:
EDITED ARTICLE:
This woman has been on 77 first dates in her desperate quest to find Mr Right before she turns 30
(After losing her part-time job and medical benefits at Wal-Mart two years ago, this raunchy mental case could no longer afford her psychiatric medication and has been f~~~ed nearly 100 times and dumped at least 77)
Ever been terrified that you’re destined for a lonely existence with nought but your cats for company?
(Are you also female, f~~~ed-up, broke, desperate and retarded enough to read this publication?)
You’re definitely not the only one.
(AWALT)
Meet the woman who’s gone out with a whopping 77 men over the past two years in an attempt to find “the one” before she turns 30.
(Read about this unpaid whore so you feel better about yourself. Unless you’re f~~~ing fat. Then go grab a gallon of ice cream and keep reading, you bucket of s~~~)
Anna Heaton (29), a project manager from Battersea, London, has been on hundreds of dates with 77 men – all in a quest to find the perfect man.
(Anna Heaton (45), who once took a free online course in project management, from Battersea, London has been getting p~~~ drunk nearly every night of the week and spreading her legs for any half-baked moron who would barely stick his friend’s dick in her)
The desperate brunette has tried countless dating apps and has even asked her mom to set her up on blind dates.
(The desperate blonde/redhead dyed brunette has clicked on every f~~~ing pop-up ad with a six-pack abs and c~~~ photo on the Internet. Her mother has taken the Internet away from her, because she is cutting into her mom’s “Pogo” time)
To keep track of her potential partners, Anna scores every date out of 20 in a spreadsheet, using a strict rating scale consisting of categories such as “looks”, “personality” and “spark”.
(Anna has lost track of all her partners, as they dump her immediately after f~~~ing her and leaving her spread on the bed like a dirty f~~~ing sweatsock. In an attempt to salvage some of the dignity which she’s never had, she tells her friends that “he wasn’t the right guy. One of them even left five dollars and a phone number on her nightstand. She became excited. Turns out it was just change and a phone number from a pizza he ordered after the c~~~-warmer passed out)
But in all her dedicated searching, Anna has yet to find her soulmate.
(Her pussy is so sore, bruised and diseased, she’s actually had to take a weekend off)
She recently made an appearance on the TV dating show, Take Me Out, where she revealed her infamous spreadsheet – after which she was bombarded with messages from ex-suitors who were totally shocked to find out that they were being rated.
(A TV dating show recently found out about the skank, as she double-teamed the Key Grip and Coffee Boy; they set up a spreadsheet for her and got her to list some of the names of the gentlemen she’s let use her as a pincushion. A couple of the guys are p~~~ed, but most just want their time back)
Despite all this, Anna, who’s been single for two years, is confident that she can reel in her hunk before her 30th birthday in May next year. Even if that means bringing her dating tally up to 100 men.
(Despite all this, Anna, like all women, has been clinically insane for the majority of her life. She figures if she can f~~~ at least 23 more, at least ONE of them will ask for a second date)
“I went on my 77th first date on Saturday, I think it’s because I’m too picky,” Anna told the Daily Mail.
(“I went on my 77th first date on Saturday, I think it’s because I’m too picky,” Anna lied to anyone who would listen)
“I often have a lot in common with people but the spark just isn’t there, I just don’t fancy them,” she says.
(“I will often f~~~ anyone who will buy me a drink and tell me I’m pretty. But for some reason, after I suck their c~~~ in the parking lot, they tell me that “Im not marriage material””)
Anna is disappointed that she hasn’t found a man yet as she envisioned herself being engaged at the age of 30.
(Anna is deranged. All women are deranged. Back when Anna was 30, Anna was deranged. Anna is still deranged)
“All my friends are married and have boyfriends and I’m the one that’s left,” she says.
(“All my friends have already divorced their first husband and are living in their houses with alimony. I think I might have hit the wall and missed the boat, but there’s always hope. I AM A BIG BEAUTIFUL WOMAN”)
So what exactly is the young serial dater looking for?
(So what exactly is the young serial killer looking for?)
“I like a posh boy with a pink shirt, nicely dressed and someone that doesn’t take themselves too seriously,” Anna says.
(C~~~ and free money)
Sources: mirror.co.uk, msn.com
(Sources: Anna’s blog)
FrostByte 2 years, 3 months ago.
