I will screen the topic here.
Not sure if this is the correct sub to post this in, but I finally wrapped up this living nightmare and wanted to share my story. Hopefully to just keep spreading the word about how broke our legal system is as it relates to this matter, and possibly forewarn others before they find themselves in a similar position.
I saw the signs telling me to break it off with my then girlfriend over a year ago, but chose to try and stick it out. I learned my lesson the very hard and expensive way. When I finally broke up with her this summer she became vindictive and decided to tell the police that I hit her, which never happened. Things that happen when a women decides to fabricate a lie as such:
• I was arrested out of the blue at my home on a Saturday night and was not able to get out of jail until Monday at noon. The detention center is 22 hours a day locked in your cell with nothing to do or look at. No books, no TV, nothing. Fortunately I mostly work from home. If not, this could have been detrimental to my job.
• She listed my apartment as her residence. With the temporary restraining order maintaining that I am not allowed with 100 yards of her, I was forced to find an alternate living situation. For the 6 weeks until I was able to get her evicted, I had to pay $1534/month in rent plus utilities for her to live in my apartment. On top of that it cost me roughly $100/night for pet friendly motel rooms that my dog and I could stay in. Fortunately I had a friend that let me sleep on his couch for a couple of weeks, but all of additional living costs added very quickly. And for a person that works from home, it was a huge pain.
• Even though the case was frivolous, I could not risk getting charged and a Domestic Violence charge going on my record so I had to retain a lawyer. This ran me $3500, and he was on the lower end of the quotes I received.
• After getting out of jail, I had 4 different court dates that I had to take off of work for and make up reasons as to why I was taking random vacation days in the middle of the week.
• Even though there was no mention of liquor being involved in the charges, it is mandatory that while the case is open defendants are not allowed to consume liquor. I work in the Liquor industry. Not being able to drink in my accounts for 3 months was a problem, people started to question me “taking a break”. I am sure that more than a few people think I got a DUI, which is a career ender in my job.
• She made sure to tell everyone and the people I don’t know very well believed her. People also love to gossip. Even with the case dropped, it has severely done damage to my reputation.
• She fraudulently put a phone line on my plan. Because I wasn’t allowed to contact or communicate with her during the case, the only option I had was to pay the $680 to cancel her plan while Sprint’s Fraud Department tries to figure out if they are going to hold me accountable, otherwise the dept goes into collections and dings my credit. You would think it would be common sense that since she didn’t have my password to modify the account and she forged my signature, I would be off the hook. But Sprint is being very resistant and telling me that I will most likely have to take her to civil court if I want to get my $680 back. She doesn’t have $680, so that would be fruitless.
• She didn’t water my Bonsai tree and it died. They are expensive.
Prosecutors want convictions, it is good for their career. They have no incentive to review or drop the case early. It is easily the most stressful event I have ever gone through in my entire life, and they know this. For this reason, they wait until the very last minute to review the facts of the case and consider a dismissal because many men will break and take a guilty charge plea deal.
By the time I went to court we had mountains of evidence to prove that I couldn’t have committed the crime, most importantly proof that I was out of state when the alleged event occurred. Took less than 5 minutes of the prosecutors speaking with my lawyer before they told the judge they were dropping all charges.
It’s beyond sad and depressing that our governing system is so broken that all a girl has to do is say “He hit me”, and a man’s life can be turned completely upside down. There were men in the court room who had lost their jobs and were staying shelters because they had nowhere else to go. Thank god I was fortunate enough to have sacked away $7k get through all this, but I am by no means wealthy and that is at least a year’s savings for me.
TL;DR The criminal justice system for Domestic Violence is very broken.
To all the blue pillers, mangina, and white knight out there.
Anonymous 4 years, 2 months ago.
