Home › Forums › Relations~~~s › This could be my red pill moment, or not…. what happend?
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Solipsistic 4 years, 10 months ago.
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I will try to keep this brief I was in a long distance relationship for 2 years.We met online.We keep skypeing everyday We visited each-other every month sometimes twice a month. Most of the visiting was done by her. 1st meeting we were open and straight to the point, didn’t buy her lunch diner or anything. We just talked and kissed. sex was never a problem was always given and sometimes initiated by her. We wanted a love/commitment/sacrifice relationship(at least from my part). And i specifically mentioned to her that i don’t want to start something now , have kids and then 10, 20 years down the road we end up splitting up and raising kids with different parents. She had told me before also that this what she wanted also and its why she is in love with me(after a few meetings).I didnt have a high paying job when i met her neither did she, but she works hard. Always took care of me, when every my knuckles would crack from cold weather she would ask to put lotion in my hands and or clip my nails even toe nails sometimes, and she would always tell me how much she loved everyday sometimes the whole day. She had some insecurities but i would always try to reassure her. She did most everything i told her, such as to try and get into college and focus on the long term goals. she would shower me with gifts and cards for holidays or birthdays. she got my a watch for my birthday and another one for our anniversary.YES we did fight alot, constant need reassurance that i loved her and only her. AND it was true i did love her and only her. I have been told that i am handsome and many women do approach me , but not i only wanted her. The fights were mostly because of Facebook friends and instagram friends would post comments that i did not like numerous times and one of them i had told her this guy in particular i didn’t like, but she just side stepped it told me i am overreacting . and my gut feeling was true because 2 months later he called her mom to ask if he could get to know her. I was livid with her and hr mom my face turned black from anger and guess what i released it upon them and made them cry. my gf at that time begged me that she didnt know and to forgive her for not taking my word. So that’s what i did i forgave her( i was 30sec from leaving her).So this past november i told her listen i am starting a technical school so i can get a better job a career.I am doing this for me and for us. I soon as i get a great job i will try to get you her closer to me to live together. So during this time it will be tough for you and for me, she agreed. The fighting stoped for a a bit but then it continued a bit more harsher mostly from her that i didt pay attenion to her. during this time i told her listen i will not fight with you anymore i refuse to get drawn it to one and from now one you have to solve them on your own. I dont have to time to deal with fights anymore i told her, i spend 7-10hrs day in school i get tired. Come new years i visit her and spend time with her 3 days and we sleep in the same bed and all her family knows this and they are ok with it. In new years she promised me that she will not fight and bring up old things anymore. i thanked her for that and i told her that i dont want to be fighting with her. all good and dandy.in January i lost my job. Valentines comes around, and .. yes believe it or not she got me a watch teddy bear and card. Then her birthday is around the corner, she keeps telling me how i dont say i love you anymore. and i don’t talk to her so much which is a little true, but hey i am focused in the big picture for me and her and i dont have much time. Then she hides my name from the realtionship status on fb, i bring that up to her attention then changes her instagram profile picture(me and her) This time i say nothing.Birthday comes up, i buy her flowers and i send it at her work, and i give a nice surprise and visit her because i knew it would lift her spirit. all fine and dandy.On my way home the next, kept on saying how much she misses me already and all the other heart warming things. when i get home she calls me and tell me that the husband of her friend had txt and was talking to her behind his wifes back, she asked me what to do, i told her i wish i was over there i would have taken care of it my self, but hse said what if you call him, i said no men do things face to face not on the phone, so i told her you take care of it now you are a grown girl. now this is another one that i had told her to cut all ties , and she did as far as i know , but he had gotten her phone# from his wifes phone. Anyway then a month ago, i had told her i am on skype to come and talk. She said hse was brushing her teeth and as soon as she is done she would… 40 mins later txt me she is ready on skype. i told her its 12.15 i am sleeping, i gotta to get up in the morning at 6 am. So i call her in the morning going to school, things were a little cold. something the next day very simple txting no skype. Then a day alter she txt me doesnt want this anymore and she wants to break up.. so i just let it slide and let her vent. Then two days later she calles me that she is odne and wanted to tell me face to face but the relationship is over. so that day i pack up and pay a visit to her and try to talk things with her with out begging with out putting my self down. but she kept at NO. the thing is i made her laugh that day .So i left. She deleted all of our pictures ALL unfriend me from FB and instagram, I was in NC with her for 2 weeks. Then decided to try one more time and i went to her house again. I bought flowers.. (i know i know) So i gave her the flowers BUT she did not take them.. She said to give it to my mother.. i started laughing.. So i just showed in her arms. We are talking and told her listen i think we rushed into this decision and this all a misunderstanding. Again i made her laugh so much as if we were together. But she would not sit near me and again she said NO. So i told her ok if you ever recognize that this was a misunderstanding and see things clearer to get in touch. Because now you have lost a man that really loved you and wanted to be faithful to you and sacrifice. A man with a dream and vision to create a a great family and hugged her and a left.( she owed me money so asked for my paypal adress and sent me the money the next day) sorry for the long post , but what was this?.. was this a case of unicorn?, a nawalt? or …
You totally lucked out big time. You were visited by the ghost of Christmas future and you were given a glimpse of things to come had you married this woman. She had her game face on in the beginning but she didn’t have the stamina to keep it up until after the wedding event.
two pieces of advice:
Move on and NEVER look back
Get off Facebook/Instagram they are toxic, ridiculous and artificial. Real relationships happen in person.
Keith
ONCE UPON A TIME there was a man who never found a wife and he lived happily ever after. The End.
Keith hit it right. They are projectionists pure and simple. They want you to look at the screen they put up, but here is her:
And, yes, get off facebook.
"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."
Humans who have to Constantly assured that you still x and still y are Dangerous. I was that Myself Years ago. Because of the own lacking of self awareness, you always question everything. I think Keith got it Partially right. She tried her Best to hide her own Lacking, but, hadnt the Energy. Think of how much assurence she needed when you were with her, now think how much bad thought she made herself when you were not there to constantly assure her.
Its her Fault of not getting a Therapy if she had known about her Problems. Just Bad luck for you if she was not aware. Then it wasnt on Purpose.
Thank you all of the replies and help fellow mgtows. I had that feeling all along. She would come to my house and wash dishes, fix the bed with out me asking. so i was suspicious of this behavior. I would ask her and she would reply, I am like this, i try to contribute don’t want to be lazy and everyone to do things for me when i visit relatives or friends. i still didn’t fully buy it. My mother didn’t like her at first . She would cook and have all my things ready sometimes do my laundry when at her house! yet i don’t know why i still was not convinced. I think the little things in between held me back like some times stealing looks from other passing guys(not often). Have too good of a relation with guy friends. Don’t know, Could be that i am overly exaggerating.
@black Eagle: Even if you ask them, when they ‘title’ or ‘announce’ what they’re doing, they’re advertising pure and simple. If asked, would you answer in that format, “Well I’m going to work now because that’s the kind of guy I am, a hard working guy ya know.”? Eff no. If her answer had been silence and a smile, or it’s no problem, I like doing this. vs: IOW it’s a sales pitch and you are exactly correct for being uneasy about it. She’s trying to sell something, “herself” to you, before you realize the Full cost.
BTW I’m truly glad they don’t have downvotes at this site ’cause my tally’d probably be -500, so take what ‘experienced’ says with a grain of salt
"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."
Anonymous0HAHAHA. This could be me a few years ago. It was neither a NAWALT nor a unicorn it was just a “normal” women. That’s just like women are. But the guys have already pointed it out correctly: She’s a projectionist.
She just created an illusionary mug and let you pour all your dreams and desires in it and finally made you think that you are holding a hot cup of wonderfully fragrant coffee in your hand.
But the truth is: There is no mug!
I was facing similar situations with women and I was asking myself the same questions you did and was acting the same way you did and I didn’t learn anything from that. You have to ask the right questions to recognize the truth.
We wanted a love/commitment/sacrifice relationship(at least from my part)
We….at least from my part.
She had some insecurities but i would always try to reassure her
why? Can’t she develop a stable personality by herself?
The fights were mostly because of Facebook friends and instagram friends would post comments that i did not like numerous times and one of them i had told her this guy in particular i didn’t like
Why are you apologizing for your friends? Even if they were jerks, that’s not her business.
You know why she played that scene down, don’t you?
In new years she promised me that she will not fight and bring up old things anymore. i thanked her for that and i told her that i dont want to be fighting with her.
You thanked her for just PROMISING not to be an annoying bitch anymore?
Past will be past, cross my heart.
she keeps telling me how i dont say i love you anymore. and i don’t talk to her so much which is a little true, but hey i am focused in the big picture for me and her and i dont have much time
Cup of coffee, sir?
the thing is i made her laugh that day
So what? Women laugh, women cry. That doesn’t mean anything.
Because now you have lost a man that really loved you and wanted to be faithful to you and sacrifice. A man with a dream and vision to create a a great family and hugged her and a left.
How does the coffee taste?
Women are like spoons, it’s impossible to bend them.
Trust your feelings!
HAHAHA. This could be me a few years ago. It was neither a NAWALT nor a unicorn it was just a “normal” women. That’s just like women are. But the guys have already pointed it out correctly: She’s a projectionist.
She just created an illusionary mug and let you pour all your dreams and desires in it and finally made you think that you are holding a hot cup of wonderfully fragrant coffee in your hand.
But the truth is: There is no mug! I was facing similar situations with women and I was asking myself the same questions you did and was acting the same way you did and I didn’t learn anything from that. You have to ask the right questions to recognize the truth.
I think i do have trouble with asking the right question. would you care to elaborate on how to approach these type of situations or which are the right questions to ask?
We wanted a love/commitment/sacrifice relationship(at least from my part)
We….at least from my part….> i said at least from my part because now the broad is gone. But those were the initial wants and needs that were said.
She had some insecurities but i would always try to reassure her…
why? Can’t she develop a stable personality by herself? > She had the idea that i had no problem getting a woman. She even said you are a seducer , one look or smile and its yours. Although i know potential i never though to shag another one!
The fights were mostly because of Facebook friends and instagram friends would post comments that i did not like numerous times and one of them i had told her this guy in particular i didn’t like
Why are you apologizing for your friends? Even if they were jerks, that’s not her business. You know why she played that scene down, don’t you?
i was apologizing about my friends .. i was pointing out some things that were said by her “friends”
In new years she promised me that she will not fight and bring up old things anymore. i thanked her for that and i told her that i dont want to be fighting with her.
You thanked her for just PROMISING not to be an annoying bitch anymore? Past will be past, cross my heart… i dont get his part :)
she keeps telling me how i dont say i love you anymore. and i don’t talk to her so much which is a little true, but hey i am focused in the big picture for me and her and i dont have much time…
Cup of coffee, sir?… please more simple sir.. 🙂
the thing is i made her laugh that day
So what? Women laugh, women cry. That doesn’t mean anything….. well i said this because if she was so mad and head enough of me and i did o many wrong things to her, that she would not be laughing.
Because now you have lost a man that really loved you and wanted to be faithful to you and sacrifice. A man with a dream and vision to create a a great family and hugged her and a left.
How does the coffee taste? Women are like spoons, it’s impossible to bend them. Trust your feelings!
… The coffee part part i dont get… are you saying how you liking reality?
Again thank you Randy would love a little more explaining if possible
The unintended consequences of feminist ideology. Women now have no identity and seek abuse, maltreatment, and have little value for themselves and so try to “capture” someone to feed off and achieve the stable life they are “owed and entitled too.” When you realize what is happening its almost comical to step back and watch in unfold. I am in a marriage of 14 years with the best little boy the world could have ever given me, 3 years ago I realized that this is not a “relationship” and now I am simply practicing non-reactive behavior, to the good, bad, indifferent. I laugh because I spent so long “trying to do everything right” and the answer was to just let it go.
Generosity, commitment, understanding, and support equaled no sex, arguments, constant crazy making, double meanings and difficulty in managing finances. Not buying gifts, separating bank accounts and not making transfers, ignoring the crying and being non-responsive to complaints and agitations has equalled sex when I want, being labeled has generous, smart, good looking – wtf? If I give $2500.00 for entertainment, shopping, what not I’m a chump, if I give 200.00 I am generous and thanked. Anyone else think its a bit back asswords?
I work over seas and haven’t been home in 5 months, on my vacation I plan to visit my brother with a new addition to the family my spouse said I should take our son and go without her, lol, maybe some poor side-walker is going to end up in a long painful relationship that he has no idea is coming. Hate to admit to my relief that it is a possiblity that she may meet someone else and relieve me of my burden, but I can’t be responsible for waking everyone up. Not sure if this is the case just hopeful (maybe that makes me a bad guy, not sure). Otherwise all I put up with is going to be transferred to the next closest person and that I’m not willing to accept, unfortunately just walking away will mean that I won’t get to keep our boy, and I have seen how that goes with friends and family leaving marriages like this. There are no boundaries for a woman and no sense that they are responsible for anything, the truth doesn’t matter they build a false construct from the beginning and have no care for who gets hurt or what’s really best.
Wish me luck!
as an update guys, due to having close contact with someone the mobile phone provider. As of today 4 new contacts have appeared on her contacts lists and 3 of them are males. 1 of the is in her “starrted” list. My number is still there but the name has been altered a bit. Man 3 guys with in month!! Hyper-gamy??
Sounds like she wants to be “free” LOL you dodged a bullet there, friend. My advice is move on and don’t look back, and for God’s sake stop spying on her. You’re just torturing yourself, and you obviously wont like what you find out.
well yes i have moved on basically. maybe just wanted to know how much i meant to her. to move on that quick with 3-4 new possible candidates i guess its was nothing. For me even though i had and still have chances to date or find another one i choose not to at first because,1 out of my own moral.2 i wanted to be the bigger better person.3 i chose not to date anymore, and maybe not to come in contact with women for now.i really want to ruin her though i want to expose her! and i do have these other guys phones# if i wanted to i can have the phone tracked also!
@blackeagle Dude, your story sounds very similar to mine with my last ex. We were long distance, we fought and made up several times, she was trying to sell herself to me and I was buying it, but mostly I sort of enjoyed being given a sales pitch. I ended up falling in love her. I thought she was the one. But it all ended when she casually breaks it off.
I missed her and made the mistake of following her on facebook and it made things really bad for me. I eventually tried to reconcile with her but she ignored my calls and emails. I started to vent to her through email about all of the bulls~~~ she put me through, eventually I got through to her on the phone and she threatened me with a restraining order.
This relations~~~ emotionally devastated me and made me look at at women completely different, and no matter how much you think you love a girl and think she loves you, she is hypergamous. This coupled with today’s feminism that tells women “you’re a sex goddess who f~~~s whoever she wants, and if your boyfriend doesn’t like it that’s his problem” shows that serious relationships/marriages are dead and that you have no choice but to go your own way.
My advise is to you is to learn as much as you can from the men on this site, forget facebook and keep taking the red pill. AWALT.
@solipsistic.. The thing is yes i have been trying to move on and forget everything, and for the most part i am carrying on. Thething is i wantto expose her i want to show everyone that i did not do nothing horrible for this breakup to happen.i want her family and her friend to see her fro what she actually is. Some of my family members are against this, as they say it will not bring my anymore peace or satisfaction. I think other wise. i think it will satisfy me showing the bloke who she really is and she prob will do the same with him!
Sorry to be out-of-topic, but using the enter key a bit more could be a good idea lol.
Anyway, i’ve still read through your posts. I don’t have much to add that haven’t been said. Honestly, i too have dreams of meeting a nice girl with whom i’d be able to live with without too much of a hassle… sadly its just that, dreams and illusions. This forums and the anti-feminism people all around youtubes and facebook woke me up. A bit brutally, but oh well, these are hard, cold logic and facts and i won’t ever deny a proven fact.
@blackeagle Man, if you continue down this road and “try to expose her” nothing good will come to you. Especially how hacking her contact list and possibly tracking her cell phone is pretty much illegal. If courts will tear up innocent men going through divorces with alimony, just imagine what they will do to a stalker ex-boyfriend.
She has most likely told her family and friends that you still like her. I am not trying to shame you, I know how s~~~ty it feels but understand that everybody will see her as a victim no matter what, you just have to accept it.
Every breakup has a winner and a loser, take it from me, I’ve seen both sides of it. You just need to lick your wounds, go to a strip club spend half your pay cheque on lap dances, and go your own way. Taking the red pill will help.
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