Third time was not the charm.

[Back in BlackParticipant 1732]

Men,

The last year has been very difficult for me. I am eternally grateful for the MGTOW website; giving men a place to come and share our experiences with other men.

My story – this is hard to write….just divorced for the third time. I WAS the biggest blue bill ever. I hate to admit that but this is the only place I can do so and feel understood.

My first marriage was when I was young (age 24) and very dumb. It lasted 6 months before she left me because she wasn’t done partying.

My second one; well I gotta admit I married her in part because she was super hot and great in the sack. It lasted a few years. I helped raise her daughter (I know, I know – very naive of me). Once her daughter was old enough my then wife decided she wanted to see other people. F~~~! If I only knew then what I know now. I now understand her behavior was totally predictable. I, being a man, actually believed she really loved me for me! What a joke. I now understand (in no small part to this website) that she didn’t love me and I was only a utility to her to be used up. Once she no longer had need of me, I was done.

My third (and final) marriage was the kicker. I truly thought I had met my soul mate (go ahead and laugh, I totally understand). She, of course, had two prior children living with her. I believed she was different (NAWALT). She was, I was led to believe, sweet and kind and loving and blah, blah, blah. She turned out to be the worst (I believe she may be undiagnosed BPD). She came very close to destroying me.

See, we had two beautiful children together. When they reached age 6 (twins), I lost my job and her two older daughters went off to college, she decided she no longer loved me and wanted a divorce (my utility was used up). I was shocked. I am clean, sober, fit, active, hard working etc. I spent every penny I had earned on her and the family. I was very dedicated. She even agreed I was a good husband and great father. Yet she said she no longer loved me so that was that as far as she was concerned. She tried to kick me out but I refused to leave. She then filed some bulls~~~ with the courts about how she was afraid of me and the children were afraid of me. Total bulls~~~, of course.

I spoke with my attorney. He said, “you can fight this but it will cost you thousands of dollars, you will likely drag your children through a traumatic court situation and in the end when she shows up in court she will simply cry and you will be forced to move out anyway”. What a kick in the gut.

I then found out she was on Match.com and dating several other men WHILE I WAS STILL MARRIED AND LIVING WITH HER! Turns out she was a liar, cheat and thief (not quite the soul mate I thought).

That was June of last year. I was devastated. Shortly after I was forced to move I discovered this website. I had thought something must be wrong with me for this to happen and now, because of this website and the men posting, I realize I am not solely responsible for the crazy relationship bulls~~~. I realize I am actually a pretty good man, but was quite naive to the ways of women.

I am now red pill but still p~~~ed off. Very p~~~ed off at times. But I will continue to visit this site and receive more strength and hope the rage will pass. It’s so f~~~ing hard sometimes.

One final, positive note. I have 50/50 custody of the children and receive child support and spousal support. Turns out she had a bunch of $ that I was unaware of. So, somewhat of a happy ending to that one even though I still have to deal with her for the next 11 or so years.

Thank you again, men, for posting all your experience and wisdom. It has been, and continues to be, of great help to me through a very dark time of my life.

Regards.

"Women are directly adapted to act as the nurses and educators of our early childhood, for the simple reason that they themselves are childish, foolish, and short-sighted—in a word, are big children all their lives, something intermediate between the child and the man, who is a man in the strict sense of the word. Consider how a young girl will toy day after day with a child, dance with it and sing to it; and then consider what a man, with the very best intentions in the world, could do in her place.” Quote from Arthur Shopenhauer, 17th century philosopher

[Anonymous 3]

Welcome and thank you for sharing your story.

Back in Black wrote:

I, being a man, actually believed she really loved me for me!

Yes, that is The kicker! Men are the suckers that believe in love, in contrary to general consensus. Women are just cold manipulators.

[Solo MAN’S WisdomParticipant]

Welcome, B in B. You’re in the middle of the Source. It will take a while for the Red Pill rage to dissipate.
Men have been making the mistake you made for millennia: thinking that women’s brains function just like theirs. We MUST understand that when we’re dealing with a female, we’re dealing with a manipulative adolescent.

When women lead, destruction is the destination. -- Me.

[Mr. ManParticipant 2916]

Welcome to the forums, Back in Black. It warms my stony heart to know another man has made a run for the tree line and escaped the plantation.

Like you, I was married three times and also cohabitated twice (optimism can be a vice). I never had my own children but I raised a single mother’s child from 7 years old through college graduation.

When guys like us have been through the ringer so many times, we tend to develop an internal narrative that says there must be something wrong with us, that we’re the problem in all of our failed relationships. Because that’s what all of the self help books, the magazine articles and the talking heads tell us.

But then to discover MGTOW and learn that it’s not us that’s the problem, but them, well my brother, that lifts a dark and heavy load off of our shoulders.

Instead of looking at your relationship history as a string of failures, look at it for what it really is — a solid foundation from which you can now launch the rest of your happy life!

[GonzoZiiByrnnarParticipant 195]

B&B I feel for you. I wonder if these women that do these things roast in hell like we all know that they should.

Rule Of T.A.W.E.D. Trust a woman = Death

[StargazerParticipant 12505]

I’m sorry you had to go through three heart-breaking marriages and divorces before finally coming to the truth about women and relationships.

Men are disposable utilities and women will absorb everything we give them then discard us when we no longer serve their needs.

You’re alive and you have income so your story is not over. Stay solid and never again offer anyone anything you aren’t prepared to lose and you’ll be fine.

[Back in BlackParticipant 1732]

Thank you for all the warm welcomes.

I want to make it very clear that without this website and you men sharing your experience and wisdom I would likely still be wondering what I did that was so wrong and maybe, just maybe there is a unicorn out there for me still. Friends and family sometimes mention a possible future relationship for me. I know better.

I, of course, have my eyes wide opened and now know that AWALT.

Thank you again. With respect.

"Women are directly adapted to act as the nurses and educators of our early childhood, for the simple reason that they themselves are childish, foolish, and short-sighted—in a word, are big children all their lives, something intermediate between the child and the man, who is a man in the strict sense of the word. Consider how a young girl will toy day after day with a child, dance with it and sing to it; and then consider what a man, with the very best intentions in the world, could do in her place.” Quote from Arthur Shopenhauer, 17th century philosopher

[NerevarParticipant 8040]

Welcome, brother! Glad to have you here!

"One of the best things internet exposed is just how insane women are." - Freeman_K

[Anonymous 18]

Welcome brother. Grab the popcorn and sit on the sidelines as men fall in love with the fairer sex and destroy their lives. It won’t stop but the biggest pleasure after much red pill rage is in understanding true female nature. It will sting you but the irony of the situation is that only a man will appreciate you for who you are. Like a buddy, brother, or a colleague.

All women see in us is our utilities. They are like machines that can open and shut their legs on hypergamy cues.

Sit tight brother. You are on your way to a healthy recovery.

[Anonymous 5]

A warm welcome and thanks for the great info.

Back in Black wrote:

I now understand her behavior was totally predictable

This is the biggest advantage of knowing the true female nature.
You can predict exactly how they’ll react. The only variables are the degree of reaction and the timing.
The other advantage is you can look back on your life and see it all makes perfect sense, you’re no longer torn and confused about what went wrong.

[Anonymous 54]

Welcome Back in Black. 3 for me also,but a long time ago now.Sorry for what your going through. Hang around Man,it takes time,so you may as well spend it here.

[Truthseeker82Participant 6406]

Welcome – your suffering reinforces what we all know-men are utilities for ladies and nothing more. Please don’t be ashamed about your repeated attempts at finding the elusive unicorn – you are not alone in that pursuit.
What is heartening to read is that you’ve come to accept the bitter truth and are wiser for it. I’m nearly 56 and just learned this truth over the past year – in large part because of the wisdom of the men here. Glad you’ve found us.

[Anonymous 0]

Welcome here mate. You escaped with your children, your sanity, wisdom and your life. You are one fortunate man. Enjoy your fatherhood and the rest of your life and may you be prosperous and contented.

[HitmanParticipant]

A warm welcome to you!
You’re obviously not alone!
Keep posting. .it’s good for the soul. .

[Oz-BlokeParticipant 3233]

50/50 custody and receiving child support! You my man are a rare unicorn in the MGTOW community. Feminists the world over are livid that you even exist. Good riddance to the plantation and welcome aboard.

#ManOut

[experiencedParticipant]

Welcome to MGTOW, Back in Black. Valuable intro.

If only your story could be force fed into the minds of the “ill intentioned” of the lurkers at this site, “Woe to you who mislead good men back to the slaughter.”

"It seems like there's times a body gets struck down so low, there ain't a power on earth that can ever bring him up again. Seems like something inside dies so he don't even want to get up again. But he does."

[WallyParticipant]

Welcome Back in Black, the sharing of stories such as yours can help other men avoid becoming utilities. Glad you made it through.

"what a waste of a life, to marry, give up your freedom, just for the hope of not dying alone. Don't get married Son."

[AttonParticipant]

One final, positive note. I have 50/50 custody of the children and receive child support and spousal support. Turns out she had a bunch of $ that I was unaware of. So, somewhat of a happy ending to that one even though I still have to deal with her for the next 11 or so years.

That bitch is going to be real made about da alimonies.

A MGTOW is a man who is not a woman's bitch!

[xlrsnbrgParticipant 1786]

Welcome. Sorry for your troubles, glad something good came out of it. Thanks for sharing your story, lots of useful info. A good example on why marriage is so risky for men nowadays.

A man shouldn't make his life's objective to be on the side of the majority, but to avoid finding himself in the ranks of the insane. (Marcus Aurelius)

[Back in BlackParticipant 1732]

You are right, Atton, she is super p~~~ed about having to pay me child support.

Last week in co-parenting counseling (the only way we communicate) she accused me of beating my son. Which, of course, is complete and total bulls~~~. I know she is just trying to take the children from me. For her it is not about what is best for the children but all about control.

She has also being actively trying to alienate them from me by talking s~~~ about me to them.

It is very difficult to try to get thru the anger when she continues to pull this type of crap. Being a BPD she is certain to continue her harmful behavior. Yet, somehow she always seems to be the victim. Men, beware the BPD.

"Women are directly adapted to act as the nurses and educators of our early childhood, for the simple reason that they themselves are childish, foolish, and short-sighted—in a word, are big children all their lives, something intermediate between the child and the man, who is a man in the strict sense of the word. Consider how a young girl will toy day after day with a child, dance with it and sing to it; and then consider what a man, with the very best intentions in the world, could do in her place.” Quote from Arthur Shopenhauer, 17th century philosopher

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