It costs to be a wedding guest – just say no

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IRuleMe

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This topic contains 13 replies, has 13 voices, and was last updated by Res  Res 2 years, 7 months ago.

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  • #520397
    +6
    IRuleMe
    IRuleMe
    Participant

    Here’s how much it costs to be a wedding guest

    As delighted as you are to hear wedding bells, you know big costs are coming. You skimp and save. You budget — splurge — and maybe alter expectations.

    And that’s just to be a wedding guest.

    The average guest last year spent $888 per wedding, according to a study from the Knot. For those in the wedding party, the price of being a stand-up friend was over $1,000.

    “I did not spend that much!” you may be saying. And that may be true. Costs of attending a wedding are different depending on where the wedding is held.

    But chances are, once you pull together all the related wedding expenses — wedding clothes, transportation, hotel, gifts — you may be spending a lot more than you think.

    During those seasons in your life when every weekend seems to have some wedding-related event, be sure to adjust your budget accordingly, says Tyler Dolan, certified financial planner at Society of Grownups.

    “If I say 10% of my budget is entertainment,” says Dolan. “Then a big wedding season comes along and suddenly it’s at 30%, that can be a big problem.”

    A new pair of shoes may feel like a dire need, but that’s not what an emergency fund is for. Here are some ways to avoid going in debt, while still being a great guest.

    Average cost of wedding attire: $81

    More than half of wedding guests buy something new, according to the study. But take a page from the bride’s playbook: look to something old instead of something new and explore the options of something borrowed. (You can even make it blue, too.)

    There are plenty of options for rentable formal-wear at places like Rent the Runway, Le Tote or Menguin.
    wedding spending

    But clothes aren’t library books and not everyone wants to borrow. For lower-cost buys, go to a site like Dress For the Wedding, which culls options for wedding guests in all price ranges, searchable by style or color.

    Members of the wedding party face more costs, $207 per wedding, and less control. The final call on clothing choices are the couple’s, of course. But early on in the planning process, you might recommend the wedding party rent bridesmaids’ dresses from a site like Vow to be Chic or Rent the Runway. The bride could have the women standing up for her in sparkling $750 Badgley Mischka dresses for $35 each.

    Average cost of wedding travel: transportation $321, accommodation $322

    A quarter of couples get married in a place other than where they live. And you love them. So, off you go to places your vacation fund has zero interest in.

    One of the hardest things about returning an RSVP is committing to the travel costs. But looking at the costs as soon as you get the invitation will give you the most flexibility with flight and hotel options.

    Set up a flight alert on a site like AirFareWatchdog or SkyScanner to track prices for a while. Then make a move when the price dips.

    Often a couple will set aside a block of rooms at a hotel at a discounted rate for guests. But that probably isn’t the lowest price you can find. And it may not even be the cheapest room you can get in that hotel. Check for your own deal at that hotel or others in the area. Or, team up with other wedding guests to go in on a VRBO or AirBnB property for the weekend.

    Average cost of a wedding gift: $118

    Here’s where the cash counts. In some regions of the country money is an expected gift.

    But many couples also set up a registry with requested gifts at various prices. Get to that registry early to snag the gifts in your price range, especially if the couple has invited a lot of friends also looking to support them without diving into debt.

    If you want to gift a bigger ticket item, go in with as many other people as it takes to cover it and everyone can contribute as they are able.

    If you know the couple quite well, you might opt for a more personal gift. A framed photo. A donation in their name to a cause or organization they cherish. A set of mixing bowls and a homemade book of your favorite recipes.

    One of the simplest, classiest and lowest cost gifts you can give is their wedding invitation matted and framed. It’s a way to mark the occasion that you know will be in their taste — they designed the invitation, after all. If you get a pre-matted frame it could cost you $10 or you could get it professionally framed and it would likely still come in under the average.

    Sorry. I have to decline. My neighbor just relapsed.

    #520401
    +5
    Grumpy
    Grumpy
    Participant

    I dont believe in nor support divorce. So I also wont support its root cause.

    There was a time in my life when I gave a fuck. Now you have to pay ME for it

    #520427
    +5
    FunInTheSun
    FunInTheSun
    Participant
    8283

    I’ll get a $10 suit from Goodwill and give the couple a $20 toaster. Then I’ll eat $30 worth of food from the buffet table.

    "I saw that there comes a point, in the defeat of any man of virtue, when his own consent is needed for evil to win-and that no manner of injury done to him by others can succeed if he chooses to withhold his consent. I saw that I could put an end to your outrages by pronouncing a single word in my mind. I pronounced it. The word was ‘No.’" (Atlas Shrugged)

    #520437
    +3
    Hmskl'd
    hmskl’d
    Participant
    6413

    I was usher at my cousin’s wedding. I figure it cost me close to six hundred dollars for everything including travel, clothes, xtras and motel stay. They are no longer married.

    #520440
    +4

    Anonymous
    6

    Baby blue tuxedo and some Thunderbird. You’ll never be invited to another wedding ever.

    #520442
    +2
    IRuleMe
    IRuleMe
    Participant

    I was usher at my cousin’s wedding. I figure it cost me close to six hundred dollars for everything including travel, clothes and motel stay. They are no longer married.

    $600 down the drain bro. Threw that money away. Marriage, a first marriage already only has a 50% success rate. That 50% is contingent on the guy “sucking it up” and taking the physical, mental, and verbal abuse and neglect. Marriages should be strictly between a man and a woman, with no family, no dj’s, no elaborate s~~~, no dinner and food.. Nothing. Two people, a priest, and a state official. That’s it.

    #520468
    +3

    Anonymous
    5

    I don’t see any value being part of Pumkin’s man-trapping victory celebration,
    and that’s all it is… It’s certainly not about the groom.

    I think making a gentle role of the eyes is sufficient input from me.

    She can unload my bit part in her hamster social media movie to some other sucker.

    #520530
    +5
    Sidecar
    sidecar
    Participant
    35837

    Will there be an open bar? That’s the only thing that matters.

    More than half of wedding guests buy something new, according to the study.

    Yeah. The female half.

    #520550
    +4
    Duke Togo
    Duke Togo
    Participant
    2664

    Last wedding I attended I was asked by my uncle when will it be my turn. I replied “Never, I am trying to make marriage illegal.”

    I still stand by that statement.

    #520572
    +1
    Nerevar
    Nerevar
    Participant
    8040

    Baby blue tuxedo and some Thunderbird. You’ll never be invited to another wedding ever.

    Harry Dunne, is that you?

    "One of the best things internet exposed is just how insane women are." - Freeman_K

    #520624
    +2
    Boar
    Boar
    Participant

    Baby blue tuxedo and some Thunderbird. You’ll never be invited to another wedding ever.

    F~~~ing brilliant!

    Untamed wrote: Quit complaining and Go Your Own Way in whatever manner suits you best.

    #520663
    +2
    Puffin Stuff
    Puffin Stuff
    Participant
    24979

    Would you buy celebrate and give a gift for the funeral of a stillborn?

    #icethemout; Remember Thomas Ball. He died for your children.

    #520691
    +3
    MarketWatcher
    MarketWatcher
    Participant

    I will never go to or even worse be in a wedding again. The last one I went to I did not even go to the reception. The marriage was going to fail and the brides family knew it. They hated the groom and his guests. Not worth the expense or aggravation.

    #520864
    +2
    Res
    Res
    Participant
    542

    Yeah, money… Travel is expensive and time consuming. For a one day ceremony and party it’ll take 3 days worth of hassle… day 1 and day 3 for travel and day 2 for the “fun”. At least for the weddings I’ve been invited to most recently, it would’ve cost $600 alone in airfare, not including time off work and the stress of travel. Not worth it. When there’s family involved, that’s one thing, but for a friend it’s another. I don’t find parties where I don’t know anybody fun. I’m an introvert. There might be alcohol and music, but I have those at home. If you take the $600 you would’ve spent just on plane tickets, you can get some damn good alcohol and cigars and party up by yourself or with a friend or two. Just sayin’.

    And clothes? I guess I didn’t think about that. When my sister got married I was supplied a tuxedo that was rented for me… Talk about awkward. My sister’s wedding dress to this day remains in its plastic dust bag hanging in the closet never worn since the wedding. Imagine if that money would’ve been put in an index fund or bitcoins or something. Over the 5 something years it’s been that money would be doubled at minimum.

    Mr. Boats: "'Avoid the reeking herd! Shun the polluted flock! Live like that stoic bird, the eagle of the rock!' You know what that means, son?" -American Splendor

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