written by Coach Beef
Balthasar, Melchior, and Gaspar came back from the Nativity with great optimism, although they had given away most of their riches, Gaspar was still wealthy from a gold mine he owned.
Balthasar had sold his fishing boat to finance the travel, but his wife was a skilled seamstress who threatened to leave because she was bored, so he decided to start a silk shop. He borrowed 100 crowns from Gaspar, bought 5000 silkworms, and they began to make scarves.
Melchior, a master builder, discovered his wife was pregnant, and to stop her incessant complaining, he decided to expand his house, so he also borrowed 100 crowns from Gaspar, and began the expansion.
Gaspar had a taste for wine, and wanted to buy a vineyard, and found one owned by Enzo that he liked. He went to his head gold miner, Gomez, and asked for 100 more crowns. Gomez said they only had 20 crowns left, since the last mining season was quite unsuccessful.
Gaspar went to Balthasar and asked if he could pay the loan back, but Balthasar said he had not sold enough scarves yet, because his wife only worked one hour per day, so could not pay him back.
Gaspar went to Melchior and asked the for repayment, but Melchior said he had no opportunity to build for others since he began his own expansion, and his wife changed her mind every week, delaying the project, so could not pay him back.
Determined to buy that vineyard, Gaspar then went to Gomez and asked him to make 100 crowns of fool’s gold, which he did. Gaspar took the fools gold and bought the vineyard from Enzo. Gaspar made many jars of wine and sold a few, but his fat wife drank most of them, so he was not profitable.
One evening Enzo came to Gaspar’s door and said he had discovered the gold was not real. Gaspar invited him inside. Enzo said when he tried to spend a few crowns at Balthasar’s on a scarf for his wife, Balthasar would not take the crowns, and showed him how the gold was fake. Enzo demanded true gold, but Gaspar did not have it. As Enzo raised a fist to strike Gaspar, the miner Gomez stabbed Enzo to death.
Panicked, Gaspar ordered Gomez to bury Enzo’s body during the night while he cleaned up the blood. When questioned about the missing Enzo, Gaspar said Enzo never came to his house.
The next day, Gaspar drank from his jars of wine, and thought a long time. He prayed to the Baby Jesus, and as he finished the last jar, a great inspiration struck him. He sent Gomez to fetch Balthasar and Melchior to his house. The two men arrived very nervously since many suspected Gaspar in the disappearance of Enzo.
Gaspar said,
“Here’s the deal. You two dont have to pay the 100 crowns back. In fact, here’s 100 more crowns of fool’s gold for each of you. You’re gonna put the word out that anyone questioning the legitimacy of these crowns, or tries to make their own crowns, is going to disappear like Enzo. From now on, you two are gonna be loaning out these new crowns at interest, and kick back half to me. These new crowns will be called “Gaspars”, and if people dont pay, we either send Gomez to disappear ’em, or if they’re rich enough, we make ’em another banker. You dig?”
And that’s how the first central bank was created, and no one lived happily ever after.
Viciouscunningtreacherous 1 year, 10 months ago.
